Every episode of The Luxury Podcast, transcribed in full, with a summary and chapters for each. The Luxury Podcast is produced by Audio Always.
Shoe Shopping and Beef at the Gym12 November 2026In this bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, William recounts a confrontation with an aggressive personal trainer at his gym, while Jonathan offers his own verdict on how it should have been handled. The hosts also answer listener questions on cutlery etiquette and dining alone, before Jonathan rings Silicone Shaun to settle an urgent question about a rubber clog trapped behind William's boiler.
Colds and Flus11 November 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss colds and flu, debating their symptoms, whether they make good patients or nurses, and the etiquette around nose-blowing and sneezing. They also cover sickness remedies, from echinacea to the American medication Mucinex, and answer listener questions on the subject.
Fat Backs and the Pond Court Care Bus5 November 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith debrief their second Intergenerational Luxury Soiree, covering Jonathan's picanha barbecue, the custom jingle, and the rather less glamorous minibus home. They also discuss what luxury emergency supplies to stockpile, with Jonathan recounting how he survived Hurricane Irma in Florida.
Bedding4 November 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith explore all things bedding, from bed sizes and thread counts to tucked versus untucked sheets and washing temperatures. They share their own bedding preferences, debate the merits of separate duvets, and answer listener questions on topics including electric blankets and how to dress a bed with colour.
Luxury Live Outfits and Frig 2.029 October 2026In this bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith prepare for their second intergenerational gathering, dealing with the setback of baker Barb being unavailable and debating villa options for a potential return trip to Frigiliana. They also discuss their outfits for the Luxury Live shows, the art of handwriting and forging signatures, and answer listener questions on restaurant arrival etiquette and an awkward beachside encounter.
Halloween (Take Two)28 October 2026In this Halloween episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith don spooky costumes and revisit their feelings about the season, with William preparing to attend his very first Halloween party. The hosts discuss trick-or-treating etiquette, the merits of a luxury Halloween aesthetic, and listener questions covering topics such as staging one's own funeral party and costume choices. They also share their thoughts on the new Celebrity series of The Traitors.
Cheap Jabs and Elbow Deep22 October 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss flu and COVID jabs, the ongoing air conditioning saga, and outfit plans for their upcoming live show, Luxury Live. They also answer listener letters on topics including supporting menopausal colleagues, day trips from London, cottage cheese, and the best mop for wooden floors.
Fears and Pet Peeves21 October 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss their personal fears, including William's dread of rodents, Jonathan's height-induced urge to jump from tall buildings, and a memorable shark encounter in the Maldives. The team also revisit pet peeves a year on, covering topics such as inconsiderate train passengers and unconventional name spellings, alongside questions from listeners.
Hazy Memories and a Leaky Mess15 October 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith revisit their trip to Frigiliana, with Jonathan recounting William's very relaxed — and rather drunk — final evening. They also discuss the perils of transporting Spanish cleaning products, Jonathan's unpleasant flight home next to a smelly nappy, and whether dresses are appropriate beach attire.
Autumn14 October 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson attempts to convince a deeply sceptical Jonathan Vernon-Smith that autumn has redeeming qualities. The pair discuss autumnal food, seasonal television, bonfire night, home comforts such as candles and log fires, and the perennial annoyance of fallen leaves, before turning to listener questions on the subject.
Bumpy Yacht and Dodging Buoys (Frigiliana Special)8 October 2026In this bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith record from a small hired yacht off the coast of Frigiliana, Spain, accompanied by their friend Pam from the pool. The boys battle seasickness and narrowly avoid yellow buoys before retreating to dry land, where they read listener correspondence on topics including airport wheelchair shortcuts, travel toiletries, and the etiquette of falling overboard.
Airports (Frigiliana Special)7 October 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith record poolside at Jonathan's villa in Frigiliana, Spain, recounting their journeys to the Costa del Sol. They discuss airport etiquette, including appropriate footwear, duty-free spritzing, lounge standards, and being stopped by security, and answer listener questions on travel topics.
Figs in Frig and Jonathan’s Homemade Spritz1 October 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William and Jonathan discuss their imminent trip to Frigiliana, including packing habits, lilos, and Jonathan's homemade cleaning spritz. They also catch up on Silicon Shaun's visit and his continental assistant, before answering listener questions on washing-line etiquette, keeping birds as pets, and whether a fruit bowl belongs on a coffee table.
Schedules and Calendars30 September 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss the merits of physical versus digital calendars, where to hang a wall calendar, and the etiquette of cancelling plans when unwell. They also share personal anecdotes about forgotten appointments — including Jonathan missing his own surgery — and advise listeners on how to decline unwanted social invitations.
Spillages and Firefighters24 September 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith recount the chaotic highlights of William's recent soirée, including a red wine spillage on the floral sofa, a 3am McDonald's delivery, and a prank involving a Princess Margaret portrait. They also answer listener questions on robot vacuums, how a male teacher should dress, stag do etiquette, and the allure of uniforms.
University23 September 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discover they both read English Language and Linguistics at university, and swap stories about student halls, part-time jobs, pranks, and university wardrobes. They also read listener questions on topics including dissertation subjects and what course each host would choose for the other.
Beef Curtains and University Accommodations17 September 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith chat about taking Jonathan's radio producers out for an alfresco evening in London, debating what to wear and drink. They answer listener questions on luxury university accommodation, the correct names for meals of the day, and the etiquette of sharing food at a nose-to-tail restaurant, including a discussion of beef curtains and faggots.
Bread16 September 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss all things bread, from sourdough and baguettes to garlic bread, fish finger sandwiches, and freezing loaves. They answer listener questions on whether sourdough has lost its luxury status, the etiquette of breaking bread by hand, and the great bread-freezing debate.
New Jingles and Bye Bye Blue!10 September 2026In this bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith walk listeners through the show's new orchestrated theme music and changes to their Patreon membership tiers. They also chat about William's recent birthday, Jonathan's Sunday soirée involving a Kamado grill mishap and a drunken FaceTime call, and answer listener letters including one about a dinner party toilet emergency.
Uniforms9 September 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss school uniforms, with William sharing childhood photos and Jonathan recounting his two-blazer secondary school. They also examine professional uniforms across industries including airlines, banking, and the police, debating which exude luxury and which fall short.
Tracking Thieves and a Whiffy Tube Ride3 September 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith pay tribute to Dolly Parton, discuss a memorably smelly and chaotic Tube journey home from a recording session, and Jonathan explains his dry-brining technique for picanha. William also recounts his efforts to track down a thief who stole Mikey's lost AirPods.
Windows2 September 2026The Luxury Podcast hosts William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss what makes a luxury window, covering sash versus uPVC frames, window films, and security glazing. They debate net curtains, shutters, blinds, and blackout curtains, before answering listeners' questions about window-related dilemmas including a hotel burglary through a smashed pane.
Manly Bracelets and Luxury Charcoal27 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss their ongoing enthusiasm for barbecuing, including Jonathan's new kamado grill and the merits of luxury charcoal. They also plan their upcoming trip to Frigiliana, advise an anonymous listener on engagement rings for a gentleman, and answer letters about a humiliating fall at work and keeping a car clean with young children.
Department Stores26 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith debate what makes a department store truly luxurious, with William championing Harrods and Fortnum & Mason while Jonathan has a softer spot for John Lewis and Marks & Spencer. They also discuss overseas department stores including Paris's Galeries Lafayette, share a listener's tale of class-conscious shoplifters, and read letters about working in retail.
Funeral Tunes and Blancmange Sheets20 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, Jonathan and William open a parcel of personalised biscuits from a listener, though sadly the contents arrive broken. Jonathan shares his elaborate plans for his own funeral, complete with bespoke jingles, pyrotechnics, and dancers, before the hosts tackle listener mail on ruined white bedding and an unwanted gym intervention.
Fantasy Dinner Party19 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith design their fantasy dinner parties, debating ideal locations, menus, and guest lists. Each host selects three dream guests from history and entertainment, ranging from the Queen Mother and Larry Grayson to Miriam Margolyes and Liberace. The episode also tackles a listener's question about conversing with Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, and Charles Dickens.
Pink Leotards and William’s Smutty Joke13 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith chat about Jonathan's dog Betty recovering from an operation in a pink leotard, and William's home-grown cucumber. They also plan their upcoming trip to Spain, discuss short-haul business class travel, and answer listener questions on dining table shapes, addressing letters to couples, and an anonymous query from a former adult film star.
Social Media12 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith rank the major social media platforms from Twitter and Facebook to Instagram, TikTok, BeReal and Snapchat, debating which are truly luxury. They also revisit their own early Twitter exchanges, discuss Instagram's Close Friends feature, and answer listener questions about sharing content with work colleagues.
Hussy Dogs and a Floral Mess6 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss Jonathan's new polo shirt purchases and debate their colours and cut, before William recounts how sunlight bleached lily pollen from Mikey's clothing. They also cover Jonathan's dog Betty's upcoming spaying operation, the behaviour of his two dogs, and listeners' questions on luxury desserts and decorating student accommodation.
Potatoes5 August 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith debate the merits of various potato types and preparations, from roast potatoes and pommes dauphinoises to jacket potatoes and chips. They discuss what makes a potato common or luxurious, share their own cooking methods, and answer listener questions on topics such as gravy etiquette and the word "spud".
Thirsty Lawns and Heterosexual Keys30 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss the hosepipe ban and its effect on Jonathan's parched lawn, before comparing their keys and debating what they reveal about a person's character. They also tackle listener questions on the subject of Crocs, nosey neighbours asking for car washes, and an overfamiliar stranger sending an unsolicited Facebook friend request.
First Jobs29 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith swap stories about their first jobs, ranging from Jonathan's childhood rabbit-breeding enterprise and lawn-mowing service to William's stint as a school receptionist and his brief, eventful time working for a Middle Eastern royal family. They also recount being sacked, rejected, and read out listeners' own first-job tales.
Theatre Confusion and a Big Red Face23 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss Jonathan's visit to see William perform in Titanique, including a mid-interval seating muddle. They also cover Jonathan's new Kamado barbecue, his nephew's football obsession during the World Cup semi-final, and listener questions on hosting etiquette, filming at live performances, and whether to keep an inherited AGA.
Luggage22 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss luggage in all its forms, from William's Rimowa hard cases and Jonathan's Antler suitcases to rainbow straps, luggage tags, and PVC protective covers. They debate the merits of hard versus soft cases, share packing habits, and answer listener questions on topics including packing cubes, monogramming, and whether well-worn luggage signals sophistication.
Splashed Slacks and Heritage CCTV16 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson shares updates on the Frigg trip, including securing a room at the Balcon hotel and plans to charter a yacht, while Jonathan Vernon-Smith announces he is investing in a Kamado charcoal barbecue. The pair also debate the merits of cappuccinos, discuss CCTV installations, and answer listener questions about car washing and shop closing times.
The Afterlife15 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith explore what a luxury afterlife might look like, debating heaven, hell, and purgatory. They discuss ghosts, haunted houses, and Ouija boards, before answering listener questions on séances and reincarnation — including revealing which animals they would each choose to come back as.
Sun Beds and Holiday Chums9 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, Jonathan Vernon-Smith shares stories from his recent holiday in Spain, including the sunbed habits of his youth and the pool friends he made. He and William Hanson discuss their upcoming trip to Frigiliana together, including accommodation concerns and plans for pedalos. The hosts also answer listener mail on topics including raising a baby luxuriously, watching tradesmen work, and historical luxury figures.
Weather8 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss all things weather-related, from coping with British heatwaves and the merits of air conditioning to seasonal dressing and the etiquette of umbrella use. They also answer listener questions on staying cool in style, smelling fresh in hot weather, and navigating crowded streets with a brolly.
Sobbing Children and a Perplexed Daughter-In-Law2 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William and Jonathan deal with the unfortunate news that the Hotel Balcón de Europa is fully booked for their upcoming Frigiliana trip, including a live call to the hotel. Jonathan shares his thoughts on the television series Rivals, and the hosts answer listener letters on funeral transport, thank-you card etiquette, and a tricky mother-in-law situation.
The Apocalypse1 July 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith tackle the question of how to spend one's final day in style should the apocalypse arrive. They plan their ideal last 24 hours, debate zombie versus nuclear scenarios, and answer listener questions about bunker essentials and which celebrities they would most like to eat — or be eaten by — as zombies.
Naked Cartwheels and Mirror Disasters25 June 2026In this bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith are joined by former producer Oli, who updates them on his new life in Australia. Jonathan recounts the saga of a cracked bedroom mirror and an unflattering self-sighting, and the hosts answer listener questions on hostel survival, grey hair, Spanish cleaning products, and New York storage dilemmas.
DIY24 June 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith tackle the subject of DIY, confessing their considerable limitations with drills, decorating, flat-pack furniture and plumbing. They also announce two Luxury Live dates in Manchester and London, and answer listener questions on topics ranging from refreshing tradespeople to whether it is more luxurious to do the work yourself.
Minimalist Classrooms and BBQ Season18 June 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith recap the much-anticipated intergenerational barbecue, including William's new Ninja FlexFlame grill and Jonathan's generous wine consumption. They answer listener questions on the luxury of the supernatural, Jonathan's famously thick blood, and how a teaching assistant in Stockport can bring a prep-school feel to her state primary classroom.
The Home17 June 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss how to make a home feel more luxurious, covering topics such as wall colours, flooring, houseplants, home scent, and air conditioning. They also respond to listener questions on driveway gates and the best houseplants for an executive interior.
Meet The Voice of Balls & Strictly…Alan Dedicoat11 June 2026The Luxury Podcast hosts Jonathan Vernon-Smith and William Hanson are joined by Alan Dedicoat, the celebrated voice of the National Lottery and Strictly Come Dancing. Alan discusses his career in broadcasting, his time working alongside Terry Wogan on Radio 2, and behind-the-scenes stories from the Lottery draws and Strictly.
Birthdays10 June 2026William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss birthdays on The Luxury Podcast, sharing their views on whether adults should make a fuss of their own birthdays, the merits of funny versus sentimental cards, and childhood birthday parties. They also answer listener questions, including a tale of a surprise party organised by the supposed guest of honour, and what to do when colleagues celebrate your birthday a month too early.
Bare Legs and Unluxury Moments4 June 2026In this episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss Jonathan's big news about having air conditioning installed in his bedroom, and the pair compare notes on keeping cool during a summer heatwave. They also plan an upcoming intergenerational barbecue and respond to a listener question by sharing their most unluxury moments.
Cinemas3 June 2026In the cinema episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss their cinema-going habits, favourite and least favourite films, and how to handle noisy fellow audience members. They also consider which actors would play them in a film of the show, and answer listener letters on luxury cinema experiences and phone etiquette during films.
Titanique Rehearsals and MORE Holiday Uncertainties28 May 2026In this bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, William Hanson shares updates from his West End rehearsals for Titanique, whilst Jonathan Vernon-Smith attempts to clarify the arrangements for William's upcoming visit to his villa in Frigiliana, Spain. The pair also debate the most desirable areas of London, discuss William's forthcoming barbecue, and address a listener's query about whether Jonathan might be a pimp.
Stains27 May 2026William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith tackle the subject of stains on The Luxury Podcast, discussing methods for removing everything from red wine and blood to makeup and rust marks. They share their favourite stain-removal products, debate whether white wine really works on red wine, and answer listener questions including how Jonathan brings cleaning products back from Spain.
Help I Sexted The Luxury Podcast21 May 2026The Luxury Podcast hosts William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith are joined by Jordan North of Help I Sexted My Boss for a crossover episode. The trio test whether Jordan meets the luxury standard, covering topics from cleaning products and bladder capacity to picky teas and outdoor cooking. Jonathan and Jordan also tackle listener dilemmas, including bottle etiquette at a friend's house and a swinging-related family discovery.
BBQs20 May 2026William Hanson and Jonathan Vernon-Smith discuss how to host a luxury barbecue on The Luxury Podcast, covering everything from what to put on the grill to crockery, drinks, and dealing with wasps. William also announces he will be joining the West End cast of Titanique for a six-week run in June.
