DIY

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:00:07 Hello and welcome to The Luxury Podcast. My name is Jonathan Vernon-Smith, and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life.

William Hanson 0:00:18 Hello, Jonathan and I are here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living, whatever your budget.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:00:23 In each episode of The Luxury Podcast, William and I will tackle an area of life that we think you should upgrade. Sorting the on's lows from the higher's ins, advising the nation in gracious living. So, William, what are we going to talk about today?

William Hanson 0:00:38 We are talking about a subject, another subject of which we are world-leading experts, and people are gagging for our advice on DIY. And, but before we talk about DIY, we're going to edge our audience further and just hold back talking. About DIY.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:01 Are we?

William Hanson 0:01:02 Because we have, as was mentioned last week, some incredibly exciting news.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:08 Earth-shattering news.

William Hanson 0:01:10 Jonathan, or as you will soon be called, Stephanie, why don't you let us know?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:15 We are going to be coming to the Home Theatre in Manchester on the 21st of November. Of this year.

William Hanson 0:01:26 For Luxury Live.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:29 For Luxury Live. Luxury Live 2026.

William Hanson 0:01:34 Yes, so on the 21st of November, as Jonathan says, we have a Manchester date for all of our Manchester or northern Bucketheads. And it's not just that date, is it, Jonathan? We are on the 22nd of November, the very day later, we're coming to do a London show at And we thought, where says luxury more than Walthamstow? Yes, the Soho Theatre in Walthamstow, on— aptly on Ho Street.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:11 They put some thought into that.

William Hanson 0:02:16 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:17 I had a look though online, and it does look actually like a rather luxury theatre. So don't let that put you off.

William Hanson 0:02:25 No, it is actually— importantly, it is actually a theatre because, you know, let's— some of our previous venues we've done ecclesiastical shows in a church and we did Luxury Live in God knows what that was that year. So at least we are now in a proper theatre.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:43 Yes, with a proper bar and proper toilets. I mean, we are We're spoiling you, Bucketheads. It's going to be absolutely fantastic.

William Hanson 0:02:52 Do you know, actually, it's so fitting that we're going to the Soho Theatre in Walthamstow for it because— and I've just found the messages from November last year— Joe and Luke, guests at the Intergenerational, our friends, actually sent me a message only a few days before the last Luxury Live that we did in sort of Farringdon to say, We've just been to see a show where, I kid you not, a naked man had lit a firework inserted into his bumhole. So we've got high hopes for Luxury Life. And I said, where the dickens was this show? The Soho Theatre, Walthamstow.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:30 There you go.

William Hanson 0:03:31 So there we go. So maybe we could recreate that. Well,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:33 I was gonna say, have you got any fireworks? That could be the big grand finale of this year's show. William,

William Hanson 0:03:49 light

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:50 her up! Oh, it's amazing what you can do with a Roman candle.

William Hanson 0:04:00 So, um, just to recap, uh, Home Theatre in Manchester, very nice theatre as well, on the 21st of November. Soho Theatre Walthamstow, 22nd of November. The pre-sale is available only to our Luxury Members Club, which you can sign up for on Patreon or by going to luxurypodcast.co.uk/club. That is tomorrow, and general release will be releasing generally on Friday. That's the 26th of June.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:32 Just in time for payday!

William Hanson 0:04:33 Oh, well, yeah, let's talk about it. Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:36 Some thought goes into this.

William Hanson 0:04:39 Exactly. So yeah, you've got a few months to wait, but we'll— we can do— I think we've talked— have we talked about— I think we alluded to this on the podcast. We could do— we could do my holiday snaps from my holiday to Frigiliana.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:51 We definitely need to give everyone a full debrief on Frigg at our live show, don't we?

William Hanson 0:04:57 Yes, we need to actually work out what we're going to do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:59 Are we going to talk about— let's not talk about that. Every time we talk about our forthcoming trip to Frigiliana, We get a lot of criticism from people saying, I've never heard— We? Yes, both of us. I've never heard 2 people, um, less good at communicating holiday plans as we are, apparently. I mean, I don't think there's been anything wrong with our planning so far. It's all going tickety-boo. But apparently we, we irritate everyone because we're all over the place with our plans.

William Hanson 0:05:32 They're just jealous.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:34 Exactly. They won't be around the pool with us sinking a couple of cheeky fev-beth-ov.

William Hanson 0:05:40 Well, I won't be doing that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:41 Oh no, you'll be on the martini, won't you?

William Hanson 0:05:44 Yep, you can have mine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:46 So the, uh, the live show, uh, just to recap then, tickets available on Patreon tomorrow and then to the wider public from there on after.

William Hanson 0:05:57 Lovely. Now we can put it off no longer. We are fonts of all knowledge on this topic. DIY.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:04 Yes.

William Hanson 0:06:05 Which stands for do it yourself.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:09 It does stand for do it yourself.

William Hanson 0:06:11 And that is the extent of my knowledge of DIY.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:14 Well, uh, mine too, but I have brought some props for today.

William Hanson 0:06:20 Oh, you've come with props.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:22 We— I've come with props. We— we have come— I've come in my house with props. Because we are still broadcasting from our homes, Bucketheads. I'm in luxury Hertfordshire. William is in executive London. So I went out to my shed before we started recording today, William, and I thought, what can I fetch that demonstrates my DIY prowess? What can I use?

William Hanson 0:06:56 Can I guess?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:56 Go on.

William Hanson 0:06:57 Is it your brushless impact drill?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:59 It's my brushless impact drill! Look at that! Oh,

William Hanson 0:07:03 it's got a light!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:04 It's got a light, that's so I can see my hole.

William Hanson 0:07:07 Oh

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:15 yeah,

William Hanson 0:07:16 gosh, it's quite a big opening on that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:17 Well, I haven't put any, um, attachments in. You have to put the attachments in, but it's a terri— oh, I've made it really big there, look at that! And you make it smaller. There we go.

William Hanson 0:07:28 Oh, by spinning the head.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:30 Oh, it's a lovely— get a lovely cool draft coming off it as well. This is, um, my brushless impact drill, uh, which I was given for Christmas year before last, and I have put one or two things up with it.

William Hanson 0:07:47 Have you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:47 Might surprise you to learn, yes.

William Hanson 0:07:49 Successfully?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:51 Well, I'm very careful about what I put up because anything I put up will not be level. I need— actually, after the air conditioning was installed by Chilly Room Charlie and Cool It Down Kev, I need a big mirror to be put back up on the wall in the bedroom, and I've requested that my brother comes over to do it because I just know if I start doing that, it will be wonky.

William Hanson 0:08:14 Why have you got a mirror in the bedroom?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:16 Never you mind.

William Hanson 0:08:22 Will it go back on the ceiling quite nicely?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:24 Yes. Um, but I just know if I try and do it, even though I've got all the gear, I do have no idea.

William Hanson 0:08:31 No idea.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:32 And it will be wonky and then it will look terrible because it's a very big mirror that kind of fills a wall. Um, it would just look dreadful if it's not put up straight. So my brother, thankfully, he has all of the— he not only has the gear, but he does have an idea. He inherited the DIY skills.

William Hanson 0:08:51 Talking of your brushless impact drill, and when you previously talked about it on the podcast and you talked about your pilot holes, when the barbecue arrived and it was first assembled, and I did not assemble it myself and we'll get on to that, it did say, and I've got a photo, we'll put it on our Luxury Members Club, it says check pilot hole for flame and I thought of you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:16 Yeah,

William Hanson 0:09:16 yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:17 Well, this drill has made many a pilot hole.

William Hanson 0:09:21 Good.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:23 I'm

William Hanson 0:09:25 not doing the joke I did back in the day. I'm gonna— I'm leaving that for an archive episode.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:34 When did you first realise that you were hopeless at DIY, William?

William Hanson 0:09:39 Well, I don't— I can think of a specific incident when I first got my flat in Manchester, my luxury penthouse apartment with executive breakfast bar, and I had gone to— I bought a clock. And it was a clock, it wasn't a conventional clock, it was quite modern. It was just— there was a sort of a central disc which obviously housed all the workings and the battery and then big hands that came out of it and you would just put it flat against the wall.

William Hanson 0:10:02 It was quite sort of modern, modern slash Art Deco. And I thought, right, I will have it in between 2 of the windows, sort of in the centre. I'll put it there on the wall. So, and I did. It was literally— it's a nail.

William Hanson 0:10:17 I mean, no drill was required. Pop the nail in, pop the clock on, and it was—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:21 Are you sure a nail would hold that?

William Hanson 0:10:23 Oh, it was very light. It was incredibly light. Yeah. And it was off-centre quite dramatically, even though I had measured. And it was at that point I went, no, DIY is not for me. And I just haven't really ever bothered. And I think it's a wonderful skill to have, and I would love to be able to just put up my own pictures.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:43 I know. I would, I would just love to be not useless when it comes to DIY, because I am really useless. And what you've just described about things not being centred properly, I mean, that is just classic me. I don't know what it is. I'm just— I put some, um, in one of my spare rooms I've got curtains and I wanted to, to put— get some tiebacks for the curtains.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:09 So I bought 2 little hooks that are drilled into the wall that you— it's kind of like a rope tieback for the curtains. And I put them up, and even though I used a tape measure and I tried to measure from the floor up and then from the window out, they're at completely different heights. They're wonky. They look ridiculous. So I've now got to— but I'm not taking it out because once I take it out, I've then got to fill the hole.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:36 Um, I mean, the one thing that gets used more from my shed than anything else is my polyfiller. I'm forever filling cracks and holes.

William Hanson 0:11:44 And are you good at it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:47 Well, I have to be because I'm constantly— every time I make a pilot hole and it's in the wrong place, which most of mine are, I've then got to fill them. Because otherwise you've got holes all in your walls. It looks terrible. But I don't know why, just hopeless.

William Hanson 0:12:01 We have now Dave the Gay Handyman, as you know, who comes and does most of our DIY. We previously were having my parents' handyman, Handy Andy, come up from Bristol. And then my parents sort of said to us, I think you probably need to find a handyman that's a bit closer to you because it's probably a little bit extravagant to have Andy come from Bristol. So we found Dave the Gay Handyman, recommended by some other friends. And, uh, he's great. And when I was chatting to him on his second visit, I said, so where do you live? And he said Blackpool. So I think that's even further away.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:33 Well, he came all the way from Blackpool to do it for you.

William Hanson 0:12:37 Yeah, but he operates in London. He'll come down to London for a week and then see all of his London clients and then, and then go.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:42 Right. And as part of this, because the way you describe him as a gay handyman, did he turn up, you know, topless with a tool belt on? And say, hi, I'm Dave.

William Hanson 0:12:54 No, he's very, very professional and very nice. But maybe that is why our barbecue doors aren't on straight, because they were done by a gay

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:02 handyman. Everything's a little bit off. And how did you know he was a gay handyman?

William Hanson 0:13:08 Uh, because that's how he is described. Dave the gay handyman.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:11 You're joking. You actually sought someone out who, who advertises himself as a gay handyman? Yes. Why would you do that?

William Hanson 0:13:21 Well, no, I did— well, it was a recommendation. I just said to some friends, we need a new handyman. They went, you want Dave the Gay Handyman?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:26 Dave the Gay Handyman, right.

William Hanson 0:13:29 Yeah. Um, but actually, in all seriousness, um, you know, there are, you know, some— I've spoken to gay friends before who do feel intimidated by trade. And so actually having— Don't laugh! They do!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:46 Right. I

William Hanson 0:13:49 mean, I, in Manchester, going back to my Manchester flat, I used to have in like, I think it was 2009, I had the Zac Efron calendar that I used to, I used to hang over the double doors.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:02 You needed someone to come and hang the Zac Efron calendar.

William Hanson 0:14:11 No, no, no, no.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:12 And I got him out and he was so rude to me.

William Hanson 0:14:15 No, Jonathan, let me finish.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:18 Okay, go on.

William Hanson 0:14:19 I used it— Zac Efron was on a piece of string with a nail that I sort of— or not a nail, it's like a drawing pin that I had put in the top of the doors. That was fine. But because, you know, I thought, oh, I don't want people to— I don't want these trade coming in to think I'm gay or to judge me for being gay. So I used to have to then remove Zac Efron when I had trade coming. Because you do worry.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:41 Oh.

William Hanson 0:14:42 So I can see the appeal of marketing yourself as a— and there are, I believe there are even apps where you can get sort of gay-friendly or same-sex relationship-friendly tradespeople in because some of them, you know, are as, you know, judgmental and rough as dogs.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:58 What?

William Hanson 0:15:12 It's true. I'm not saying anything that's—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:21 William. Right, well, I'm sure the vast majority of, of handymen and tradespeople, I'm sure they're not homophobic, horrible, rough people. They were gonna come around and abuse you for your Zac Efron calendar.

William Hanson 0:15:38 Bucketheads, there might be one or two homosexual Bucketheads listening, just a hunch. If you've— if you sort of know what I mean, please get in touch and let us know. If you've had a bad experience, let us know, because I want to wipe the smirk off Jonathan's face.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:02 That's really tickled me. So do you, do you, um, kind of apply the same technique for anyone working in your house? I mean, were you not— did you not want to check out, you know, make sure Silicone Sean was not going to be a raging homophobe?

William Hanson 0:16:21 No, but I mean, he came recommended by you, so I knew he was going to be okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:33 And your alarm company— oh no wonder you keep asking me for all these recommendations. You wanted to make sure you're not going to get beaten up. Oh dear. Yeah. Well, you'll be, you'll be fine with Chilly Room Charlie and Cool It Down Kev, I'm sure as well.

William Hanson 0:16:53 Good. Well, I can't wait to meet them. How about altering— I mean DIY and altering clothes? Are you any good at sewing on buttons or hemming up your skirt or whatever you're

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:05 doing? But it's not DIY, William!

William Hanson 0:17:08 Well, it's related. You're doing it yourself rather than outsourcing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:21 This is a tapestry. This is a DIY episode. You've turned it into needlework tapestry. That's not DIY. That's not DIY. I feel like

William Hanson 0:17:49 Is it not?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:50 No, needlework and tapestry is not DIY. DIY involves— I mean, let's go through some basics then. So can you decorate?

William Hanson 0:18:01 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:02 No? Well,

William Hanson 0:18:04 I've never really given— my brother and I did once. In fact, I think I've got a photograph. I'll find it. My brother and I did decorate. In fact, we talked about last week when we painted our bedroom in Manchester Stooky Blue. Before it was that, it was cabbage white. Uh, and so James and I painted that cabbage white. Uh, that, that was, that was the extent of my decorating.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:26 Oh, okay. Because I can decorate, but I hate it.

William Hanson 0:18:30 Okay. But do you hate it? Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:32 I do. I hate it, but I can do it. Um, but if you remember, that's how I found Just Jack, because I got to a stage where I thought, you know what, I can't be bothered to do it anymore. I decorated this whole house when I first moved in. And then I thought, I can't be— now it needs touching up. I can't be bothered to do it. And that's how Just Jack came along. And interestingly, do you know what I found out from Just Jack the other day?

William Hanson 0:18:56 What?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:57 He does panelling.

William Hanson 0:18:58 Right, well, Jack might be back.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:02 I know. So he's coming round to panel me. But he, uh, he's expecting a baby. Hot off the press, Just Jack expecting a baby.

William Hanson 0:19:12 Oh, well, congratulations to Just Jack.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:14 Not him personally, but You know.

William Hanson 0:19:16 No. Anything's possible. Okay, so painting and decorating is DIY. What else is DIY?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:20 Um, putting up flat-pack furniture. Can you do that?

William Hanson 0:19:25 Uh, I assist. Mikey normally does that and I will sort of help with— I tidy away the cardboard and— actually, James, my brother, and Mikey the other day built us— Don't laugh, otherwise you have a mess!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:54 You are so funny. Right, so you tidy away the cardboard. I tidy away the cardboard. Okay,

William Hanson 0:20:05 so that's my DIY. Or I'll sort of lie things out and, you know, put the parts in the right order.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:12 Oh, bless you. You are sweet. What, you have it in little piles? It's very well organised, William.

William Hanson 0:20:19 Mikey gets cross because, uh, Hansons apparently don't read instruction manuals. We like to think we can do it without, whereas Mikey will read the instruction manual.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:29 Yeah, well, they're normally written for a reason.

William Hanson 0:20:33 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:33 Always best to follow them. Uh, putting flat-pack furniture, definitely. Now, things— so I can do— I could do both of those things, although I hate them both. Things I'm not very good at and things I wouldn't, uh, even attempt, uh, woodwork. You know, building something out of wood. Would you be able to do anything with wood?

William Hanson 0:20:54 Whittle my wood? No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:59 No.

William Hanson 0:21:00 Don't be silly. No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:01 So you wouldn't even build your own? You couldn't build your own kind of wooden shelving unit or anything like that?

William Hanson 0:21:08 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:09 Okay.

William Hanson 0:21:11 Why would I even bother?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:12 What about plumbing? Could you plumb in a washing machine? If you bought a washing machine, would you plumb it in yourself? No.

William Hanson 0:21:19 No, not if I wanted it to work. No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:21 No, no. Again, I'd be useless at that.

William Hanson 0:21:25 There is some DIY which actually Dave ran out of time to do the other day, which I'm thinking I might be able to do myself. Our washer— washing machine and tumble dryer, the doors— and obviously when, when Miele came in to install them, they just put them on, or I would imagine the door is already attached, um, but they open— I want the washing machine, which is on the left— The door on the right.

William Hanson 0:21:46 Yeah, I want that to open with the hinge on the left-hand side and the tumble dryer to have the hinge on the right-hand side. So you can sort of easily take and put in, but at the moment the doors are opening on the right and the left rather than the left and the right, so it's sort of— they— it's a bit faffy. And it looks like you can take the door off and switch them round. It looks like they've got those parts and that you can, and half of me is like, should I do that myself?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:12 No, no.

William Hanson 0:22:14 Is that not— that's not something I should even attempt?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:18 You're dealing with a high-quality Miele product, um, that if you start trying to change the direction of the door, you could muck it up. Yeah, I think it might be one for your gay handyman to come back and help with, or maybe a highly qualified domestic appliance engineer.

William Hanson 0:22:34 Right, fine. Okay, I will get Dave to, to do that. I won't— because I did think, I thought, oh, I sort of see what we have to do, but then Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:44 The trouble is, you, with things like that, you start off thinking, oh, this will be okay, and then once you've then taken the door of your washing machine off and it's in pieces all over the floor and you can't put it back together, you think, why have I done this? Why did I do this?

William Hanson 0:22:59 And then I won't be able to wash.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:00 Then you won't be able to wash any clothes until you've got someone out to actually do it for you. I wouldn't do that if I were you, William.

William Hanson 0:23:07 No. Fair enough. Oh! Is, is that the phone?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:10 I think it is. It's my white Slimline portable telephone with last number redial. I better get it.

William Hanson 0:23:16 We'll be back in a minute, and then we'll answer everyone's burning questions they've got for us on DIY.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:31 Welcome back, Bucketheads. We've been discussing DIY, and it's now time for your questions. So let's check out our heaving bags of post. Do remember, if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, postman@luxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions.

William Hanson 0:23:50 This first one is from Mark.

William Hanson 0:23:52 Good morning from the western woods of New York State. Gentlemen, the DIY realm is, as I'm sure you're aware, the domain of every person with some time on their hands and some creative discontent. At present, I'm working on the finishing touches of the coffee bar. And the exercise room. As I complete these projects, I'd be grateful for some guidance on the final details.

William Hanson 0:24:15 Does one, for instance, include a tea option complete with 3-tiered sandwich and petit fours stand, just in case? The exercise room is in need of a few luxury options as well. A towel warmer perhaps? In need of your guidance, which has thus far proven superior in every way. All the best.

William Hanson 0:24:29 In your debt, M.E.M.L. Powell, D.M.A., DIY.

William Hanson 0:24:35 How many letters, how many post-nominals do you want?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:37 Yes.

William Hanson 0:24:37 That's more sort of finishing touches, I would say, than DIY. But on the basis that our DIY knowledge is fairly limited, Jonathan's holes are wonky, and I think needlework and tapestry is, is a DIY skill, probably we'll answer the question anyway.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:48 Yeah, I think anything you can do to give it a luxury touch is well worth doing.

William Hanson 0:24:54 I would say though, from an etiquette point of view, tiered cake stands, not correct in private houses. They are for hotels and restaurants. They're not, they're not, they're not for private houses. They should just be plates.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:07 Heated towel rail in the exercise room. Oh yes! That's a lovely touch.

William Hanson 0:25:11 Well, do you want— no, but actually, in all seriousness, I know, I know heated towel rails, lovely, lovely, but that's more for when you're cold and you have come out of the shower. Surely if you're exercising and you want to sort of grab a towel, you want a cold towel. I would have a sort of a fridge or a freezer full of cold towels.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:26 It can get a bit sweaty, can't it? So I'm assuming you put it over the towel rail to dry the sweat. So that when you then mop your brow again, it's dried off a bit.

William Hanson 0:25:35 Yeah, or you just have a series of little hand towels. Actually, continuing the DIY theme, when we were on holiday in Athens, I noticed you and I— well, you were— something that you've said you always like about our house is that we have little individual towels and flannels in the guest loo.

William Hanson 0:25:52 And I've said previously on this podcast that sometimes some guests, some uninitiated guests who are not you know, aware that what they are for. Don't sort of— will either not touch them thinking we don't— aren't providing anything for people to dry their hands on, or will use one and then like keep it or not know where to put it or put it in the main bin rather than the special bin that we have. And clearly this is a problem that a lot of people have because in Athens in the hotel— and I took a photograph and I again will put it on our Luxury Members Club— They had very nicely folded, hanging over the edge of the bin for the disposal of towels, a nice white towel, but clean, just to indicate, put it here. I sometimes would have dropped one in already, but I much preferred the folded-over approach. It looked so neat and smart, and I thought that was lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:43 Yes, very good. Also, there was something about Mark's question Uh, where he was talking about, uh, the coffee bar.

William Hanson 0:26:51 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:53 And I, I— it made me think, when you get round your tradespeople to do various jobs because you're not very good at DIY, how well refreshed do you keep them? Because I know when my Silicon Sean came round to attend to your pipes, you provided him with, uh, Toffaloffus biscuits Um, that he will never get over.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:19 Um, although I did say to him, because he said to me the biscuits were absolutely gorgeous, and I said, have you seen how much they cost? And he said, I did look them up, I nearly put them on eBay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:32 Because you gave him a tube of them. But, uh, you did set the bar very high with those. So I decided, and I haven't told you this yet, but I want you to be the first to know, When Chilly Room Charlie and Cool It Down Kev came round to attend to my air conditioning with Executive Features, I did them 2 rounds of bacon sandwiches.

William Hanson 0:27:53 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:54 What do you mean, okay? They were—

William Hanson 0:27:57 Well, no, I'm just thinking how I can match that. I might invite them for a barbecue.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:01 Whipping up some of your chicken kebabs.

William Hanson 0:28:08 Yes. Um, no, I'm not— not for when they quote. I won't. I mean, I'll offer them little

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:13 biscuits, but I'm not No, only when they start the work. No, I don't— you don't do a cup of tea for a quote.

William Hanson 0:28:20 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:21 But when you— it— so you don't really do any DIY, but when I do my own DIY, let's say for, for example, I was going to paint my shed, that's the kind of thing I would do myself.

William Hanson 0:28:31 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:32 I'd have to start it with a nice cup of tea. I'd have to make myself a cup of tea to take out there ready to begin the project. What?

William Hanson 0:28:45 You can't laugh at me thinking needlework was DIY when your advice on DIY is have a cup of tea.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:52 Well, I would. I'd make a cup of tea and then I'd stand there looking at it going, ooh, I've got a big job on my hands here. Gets me in the zone.

William Hanson 0:29:01 Okay, do you want to do Jake's question?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:04 Jake says, good afternoon, you old grafters. What? I've come with a bit of an etiquette question around allowing relatives to engage in housework. My father-in-law is a retired handyman and was an electrician and plumber back in his early years. He very kindly fitted electric sockets and ran cables so we could have electricity in our summer house. Leap forward one year and our dryer packs in. We called upon a handyman to have a look as the father-in-law was relaxing in Cabo Pino. Where's that?

William Hanson 0:29:44 Sounds very exotic.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:46 The handyman determined the issue with the dryer, but then had a near shock when doing work due to an issue with the plugs. He inspected the aforementioned plugs installed by my relative and stated, whoever did this job should be shot. I wonder if he's a long-distance relative of JBS. My question is this: how do I break the news to my father-in-law without hurting his feelings, as he'd already began discussing future projects and my ability to do DIY is probably the same as William's? Kindest regards, Jake. Oh my word.

William Hanson 0:30:24 Yeah, yes, and I think that's what— I mean, look, at least I know my limits, because there are some people who think that they are world experts on DIY. In fact, the previous owners of this very house, clearly one of them, thought they were an expert in most things. And as we go on throughout this house and things fail or we replace them, we get told, oh my God, what are they doing here? It's almost a recurring conversation.

William Hanson 0:30:50 Whereas we're like, well, no, I know it's gonna be rubbish. I'm just gonna hire someone in to do it. But I think you've— there's a way to maybe say without upsetting feelings, and maybe you just say, no, it's okay. I'm getting I'd say getting a professional in, um, and keep it at that. And yes, they'll be a bit grumpy for a bit, but he is your father-in-law and he'll probably get over it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:11 There's a— depending on where you are, Jake, and I'm, I'm sensing you might not be in the UK, but in the United Kingdom we have very strict rules regarding electrical work, um, and the kind of work that you're describing that your father-in-law did would not be permitted unless they had all of the suitable qualifications in the UK, electrical qualifications, and they would need to be up to date in order for the work to be certified. Now, I don't know where you are in the world or whether the country that you live in has similar rules or regulations, but you could use those as a way of justifying not using him. For our home insurance, we must make sure that it's all done Absolutely legally, so we're going to have to get a qualified electrician to do it. Something like that.

William Hanson 0:32:00 Yeah, that's a nice thing. That's a nice touch. And again, if he pushes it, you just say, it's okay, thank you, and then move on and then ask another question. Move the conversation on.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:12 Is that how you deal with it then? If he says, but I really want to do it for you.

William Hanson 0:32:15 Oh no, we appreciate that. Now, would you like some more steak?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:21 Toffaloffers biscuit.

William Hanson 0:32:22 A toffaloffers biscuit, exactly. This is from Anonymous. Hi Luxury Gents, although I'm sure neither of your healths are in question, I hope you're both well. I'm a 30-year-old female and I purchased my first home, an executive new build, last year. Although I moved in with my partner— yes, male— the house is in my name and I naturally took more of an interest in getting things ready for move-in day than he did. I opted to do a lot of things myself and have very recently laid my own patio.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:47 Oh!

William Hanson 0:32:48 I think they mean terrace. With only the help of him to dig a small portion and my dad to help me get things level, I did almost all of the physical and logistical work. Now I know that all of my friends would rather have saved themselves the hard manual labour and logistical planning and would have opted to pay a tradesperson to do the work for them, but I enjoyed the satisfaction of sitting on my luxury patio and knowing I laid it myself. So my question is, what is more luxury? Doing the work yourself and appreciating that, or paying money to have the work done by a professional?

William Hanson 0:33:17 With best wishes and warmest regards, Anonymous. Well, I think we all know the answer to this. I would much rather know that I'm fueling the economy than, you know, attempt to do it myself and waste my life putting up— You did this? I did. I have made an— I have made— Mikey and I did the bed frame ourselves when we got the new bed for our new bed.

William Hanson 0:33:37 That's— I mean, Mikey did most of it. I sort of held things and again got rid of the cardboard and that sort of thing. And my former luxury flatmate and our former luxury producer Lucas and I, I remember we both made— again, I think Lucas did more of it than I did— made the Ottoman bed in Manchester. We did that together. So I have done things, but I think generally it's more executive to get staff in.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:02 Well, I think it just depends if you can do it yourself to a high standard. Um, things like doing a patio or a terrace, I absolutely accept if you're good at doing it and if you can do it, then there probably is something wonderfully satisfying when you've completed the job in standing back and staggering back and looking at it and thinking, I did that and it looks absolutely fantastic. The difference being, Anonymous, if William or I tried to do our own patio or terrace, it would look dreadful. And then we would stand back feeling deflated and think, now I've now got to get somebody in properly to do it because this is rubbish. And that probably is why, if you were to then get a professional in, that would give you the greater sense of achievement.

William Hanson 0:34:47 Yes. So yeah, if you can do it, go for it. Um, is doing wet and forget DIY?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:53 Well, I think very, very basic DIY.

William Hanson 0:34:58 I can do that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:00 Yes, spraying something on your patio. Yes.

William Hanson 0:35:04 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:04 By the way, talking of spraying, I've had to give my balls a good spritz.

William Hanson 0:35:08 Are you infested again with box moths?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:10 They have been back with a vengeance, the old box moth caterpillar. Terrible.

William Hanson 0:35:15 Yes, we mean, for those that are new, it's the box bush, uh, that Jonathan's balls are referring to.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:21 Yes, and, um, I checked them the other day. Caterpillars wriggling all throughout. Oh. Had to go and get my spritz out.

William Hanson 0:35:28 Now you see, we've got rid of all our box, so it's not going to be a problem for us.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:31 You don't have to worry about that. Well, as you've seen, I have got very big box balls.

William Hanson 0:35:36 Is gardening DIY? Well, I

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:39 was thinking about that. Not really, but it kind of is, isn't it? I was thinking, and I know this is terrible because I can do gardening as well, but I was thinking I might get a gardener.

William Hanson 0:35:50 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:51 Shall I get a gardener?

William Hanson 0:35:53 Oh, I should get you our gardener, but I know he won't. I've other friends. Jordan has asked if he will come to Jordan's part of the world, and he said no to that, so I don't think he's going to say yes to you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:03 Oh no, don't worry. I'm sure I have plenty of good quality Hertfordshire gardeners. But I'm thinking, I've got a lovely garden, but it's not cared for as well as it deserves to be cared for because I can't be bothered. And I just think it would be nice to have somebody to come and attend to all my shrubs. That knows what they're doing and does it on a regular basis. I think I might do that.

William Hanson 0:36:28 Okay, you will. You do that, and I'm sure you'll let us know how that goes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:31 I'm sure I will. And then I'm sure you'll be saying, do you reckon he or she could come down and do a little job for me?

William Hanson 0:36:38 No, because I've got Monty Dong.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:39 Monty Dong? Yes. Is that your gardener?

William Hanson 0:36:46 Yes, he's quite an attractive gardener.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:49 Is he? And he's called Monty Dong? I see. Right, well, on that bombshell, I think that's more than enough for this week. I mean, what a lot we've given, and all from home.

William Hanson 0:36:58 Shall we? I've loved doing it from home, obviously, but do you think maybe for tomorrow we should be back in the studio?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:05 I think we should. Let's make the effort. Let's come back together. Yes. For now though, goodbye!