Minimalist Classrooms and BBQ Season

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:07 Hello and welcome to The Luxury Podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon-Smith, and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life.

William Hanson 0:01:18 Hello, Jonathan. I'm here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living, whatever your budget.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:24 So, welcome to another bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, where William and I will trade tips and stories from our own luxury lifestyle. styles, as well as delving into our lovely great big male sax. So, William, how's your week been?

William Hanson 0:01:39 It's been all right, thank you very much. It's not been bad. Of course, at the weekend, the weekend that we've just had at time of recording, we did have the long-awaited intergenerational, which I think was a roaring success on every level.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:55 It was wonderful. I didn't expect anything less, To be honest.

William Hanson 0:01:59 Well, so you said in a previous bonus before, ahead of it, you had previously been to another barbecue the weekend before and you hoped that it would match that. Did we match?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:11 Yes, it was very different. It was lovely. It was equally lovely, he says, being very diplomatic.

William Hanson 0:02:18 Oh yes, I mean, the guest list, I would imagine, at one was slightly more diverse. than the other.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:24 Well, I don't know, but, um, no, it was, it was very nice. The, the first barbecue I went to was more of a country barbecue. The barbecue at your house was more of a London-centric barbecue, I think it would be safe to say. And of course, at your barbecue, we got to sample your new executive machine, and it is a machine. It sounds like a machine as well.

William Hanson 0:02:48 That was much discussed, uh, at the time. It was literally the first time it had been fired up. A lovely ninja wood fire, and it was incredibly loud.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:58 It's a FlexFlame, isn't it?

William Hanson 0:03:01 It is FlexFlame, so it's got a— it's basically got a fan oven inside it, so it circulates.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:05 It's an air fryer, William. I know you're very reluctant to use the phrase, but it is an air fryer.

William Hanson 0:03:10 It's not an air fryer. It's a barbecue with an optional— you don't have to have that bit turned on. thing. We did it— we did— shush. We did it last night, otherwise I'll have to go to the tip again. We, um, we did, we did it last night. Mikey and I had an evening in spontaneously, and, uh, he said, oh, should we have a takeaway? I went, no, we'll have a barbecue. So we did, we did a barbecue.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:37 You're gonna be like me before you know it. You're gonna be cooking outside in the garden all year round.

William Hanson 0:03:41 We're doing another one tonight, and the weather does not look great, and I thought, oh God, I'm gonna be out. Outside cooking. I'm, I am turning into Jonathan.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:48 It's an amazing piece of kit. I mean, genuinely, it's amazing because it's got a kind of gas barbecue, typical gas barbecue. It's got a wood pellet smoker and then the air fryer element that William's so fond of, which is a bit noisy. That's the only thing it does. It's got quite a kind of fan noise to it.

William Hanson 0:04:08 There is a quiet mode.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:10 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:04:11 Which is something.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:11 But it still, you can hear it. But it does, it cooks like nothing I have ever seen before. I mean, I ended up doing a bit of the barbecuing and I could not believe how beautifully it cooked everything. It was absolutely amazing.

William Hanson 0:04:26 You're being very modest there when you say you did a bit of the cooking. You were excellent because you basically did all the cooking for us of the outside stuff.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:32 Well, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I liked flipping those burgers and it was genuinely, I know I'm talking about this thing, I, I do, would quite like one now, but The way that it cooked was so easy that it was just, it was just an amazing machine. So I thoroughly enjoyed that. And of course, excellent, the food was delicious. You'd prepared chicken kebabs, which were thigh. After all of that conversation, you ended up going for thigh.

William Hanson 0:05:00 Yes, uh, and we've bought some more actually. They're gonna have them tonight. I mean, I didn't actually have any chicken on the night, uh, because I was doing No, I didn't. No, no, no, I was, uh, I wanted other, other protein. That sounds wrong, uh, but you know what I mean. And, uh, uh, so yeah, I shall have one of those, uh, one of those tonight. And, uh, Luxury Luke did a lovely slaw.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:27 Oh, crunchy!

William Hanson 0:05:30 Which he did say, uh, it was In the middle of the afternoon on that day when he was out walking or whatever he was doing, and he was listening to one of our bonuses where we announced that he had said that he would do a slaw, he went, I need to do a slaw! So very quickly knocked one up, uh, and it was delicious. Very dilly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:48 It was lots of dill. Very dilly.

William Hanson 0:05:51 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:51 Well, I thought it was— I, I couldn't taste the dill, but it was very, very delicious.

William Hanson 0:05:58 Dill is an underrated herb, I always think.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:03 Well, it was very nice and the food was delicious. Bottles and bottles of Malbec. And I felt the effects the following morning. So I obviously, um, I obviously had my fill.

William Hanson 0:06:13 Oh, did you now? Did you? Because I, I thought we were all quite restrained on that front.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:17 Um, yes, I think you were. I, I think I was, um, while I was cooking, I was kind of knocking them back a bit really.

William Hanson 0:06:26 Yes. And then I think there was a moment where you asked for another glass of wine and Freddie just basically poured the wine up in effect to the, the top of the glass.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:36 Yes, it did.

William Hanson 0:06:37 And as was commented upon by Freddie, you didn't really flinch.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:41 Oh no. Well, it saves just having to keep topping it up, doesn't it, really?

William Hanson 0:06:48 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:48 But it was really, it was a lovely evening, and you were kind enough to let me bring Betty and Poppy.

William Hanson 0:06:54 Who smells, in your words, like Dame Barbara Cartland.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:57 They did. I took them for a bath In the afternoon, because I thought I must make sure that at this intergenerational soiree for a better class of person, I thought I cannot have even the slightest aroma of, of, of mutt. So they had a nice bath and they had a high-quality spritz.

William Hanson 0:07:16 Yes, which was, which was lovely. It was lovely. And they were so well behaved. And you brought your own dog bowl as well. I mean, it was so nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:23 Well, you know, there we go. And I, and I put it outside because Betty is— she's got a sloppy mouth. My Poppy, she drinks water like a lady. She's very, very nice. Betty, she kind of has this habit of she'll put her head in the water and then she starts drinking and then she gets bored halfway through it, so she just lifts her head up still full of water and it goes everywhere. So it's a good idea I put it outside in the garden, wasn't it? She made a right old mess.

William Hanson 0:07:50 She did, she did make a mess. But, uh, no, it was a successful round. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:56 Oh, who's hosting the next one?

William Hanson 0:07:58 Well, I mean, I'm happy to host again, but, or we can, you know, we can schlep off to, uh, you know, south of the river to where some of the others live. Oh, actually they don't currently have an outside space actually. So we probably won't be doing that, but, uh, or we can go to Jo and Luke's part of the world.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:14 Oh, okay. Or you're very welcome to venture to Hertfordshire.

William Hanson 0:08:17 Yes. Or we can come to you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:19 You can come to— I know it's a, I know it's a trek for all of you that live in London. But you know, it's not the other end of the world, is it?

William Hanson 0:08:26 No, we'll set off now. No, I'm joking. Um, and before— you did arrive a little bit early as, as requested, and we had a little bit of a recce for where we can put the air conditioning.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:39 We did, because I have, as you know, been fully air-conditioned by a team of professionals. Chilly Room Charlie and Cool It Down Kev were experts at, uh, reducing the temperature in my bedroom. to something very comfortable and acceptable. And when I came down to your house, I had a little look, and your installation is going to be complicated.

William Hanson 0:09:02 Yes, I'm waiting for Chilly Room Charlie and Cool It Down Kev to come and recce us. Comms have been established, and we're waiting for them to come and quote, or find a date to come and quote, and I'm hoping that sooner rather than later. Although the weather at the moment is, is going better. I mean, your air conditioning, I mean, Has it even been on?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:23 Uh, not, not this week, no. No. The, the hot, beautiful weather we were having has come crashing back down to earth now, back to reality. So no, it hasn't had much action this week, but I'm sure it will do. I'm sure we'll have many more hot nights this summer, so it will definitely get some use. But yours, yours is going to be a bit more complicated because you don't have a side passage.

William Hanson 0:09:47 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:48 It's gonna have to go on the back of your house. And then you are, I'm not quite sure how they're gonna do all your ducting to the rooms. 'Cause you want, it's gonna be on the back of the house, but you want rooms at the front to be air conditioned with no side passage. Mm-hmm. That's either gonna mean internal ducting or, and Mikey and I did have a conversation about this, William, you're gonna have to go over the top.

William Hanson 0:10:15 I— well, is that a problem?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:18 Well, I, I, I'm not sure. I don't think so. I think it would just have to go— you'd have to have your ducting going up over the roof and down the other side, and then more ducting going to the rooms at the front.

William Hanson 0:10:29 Does that mean scaffolding?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:31 Potentially. Or a cherry picker.

William Hanson 0:10:34 Oh, lovely. Yes, Mikey can recreate the end of Act 1 of Wicked.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:41 It's, um, yeah, it's definitely not— it's not going to be a straightforward install if you want to be as extravagant as you have been, because you want to be air-conditioned at the front and the back.

William Hanson 0:10:50 We do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:51 If it was just the back, you'd be fine, absolutely fine. I'm not quite sure how you do, but you could— could you have, um, could it come in through the, uh, up in the, the loft space at the back and then go through internally into the front?

William Hanson 0:11:05 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:06 You just have to have ducting around the ceiling of your rooms.

William Hanson 0:11:10 Yeah, I mean, if Charlie and Kev can tell us, then, you know, we can, we can make it work.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:14 Maybe they can do it up in your ceiling space if you've got one. I mean, you don't have a loft space because you're in your loft now, aren't you, really?

William Hanson 0:11:22 Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, the bedroom, the, the loft bedroom, the guest room, would desperately need air conditioning. That is the hottest bedroom.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:32 That's at the back.

William Hanson 0:11:33 So that bit's easy.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:34 That's fine, yeah.

William Hanson 0:11:35 And they can come through here into my study, which is at the front.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:39 Yeah, unless they could— if you had the air conditioning on in the, in the womb, would the coolness travel into the office without you having to have separate?

William Hanson 0:11:50 Possibly. We could try that to begin with and then, then maybe add in if, if it's not strong enough.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:56 Well, I'm sure you're in the hands of qualified professionals. I'm sure they'll look at all of your entrances and exits and work out what they can do for you.

William Hanson 0:12:09 Anything to get that discount. Now, next week, Jonathan, and I hope our Bucketheads are going to be excited by this, we will have some news, won't we?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:24 Very exciting news. We can't say too much.

William Hanson 0:12:27 No, we will next week. And if you want to be the first to know, as ever, Probably a good time to sign up to our Luxury Members Club at luxurypodcast.co.uk/club. We'll say no more until next week.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:41 Exactly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:49 Welcome back, Bucketheads. We're going to read your questions now, so let's dive into our heaving bags of post. Do remember, if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, postman@luxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions.

William Hanson 0:15:17 This first one is from Chris. Dear William and JBS, I wonder whether other Bucketheads also thought, oh Lord, prior to pressing play and listening to the Stains episode. How rude. It was hilarious as ever. A thought did occur to me. I'm not medically trained, but in this post-COVID era, that won't of course stop me from voicing an expert medical opinion. I can't help but wonder whether Jonathan's blood issues are in any way too connected to his dislike of drinking water.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:42 It's too thick. It's not diluted enough.

William Hanson 0:15:46 Keep up the good work and stay hydrated. Kind regards, Chris from Altrincham. Well, maybe there is something in that. You are drinking water now.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:54 I'm having just a little, little few sips. Moisten the mouth. Thin it out. What?

William Hanson 0:15:59 Yeah, thin it out.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:01 Thin it— thin the blood out? Yes. That's not why I'm sipping the water.

William Hanson 0:16:06 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:06 But, uh, it's very pleasant. Sparkling, actually, at home. I don't get sparkling when I come down to London to take part in the, uh, the recordings there. I have to have plain old London tap water.

William Hanson 0:16:18 Oh, we'll, we'll let Rodrigo know. that he needs to get some sort of SodaStream to, to get sparkling water for you. Pop down Morrison's.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:26 Jean-Paul has been in touch, William.

William Hanson 0:16:28 I think it's just John Paul.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:30 Oh.

William Hanson 0:16:31 If it was Jean, it would be G-E-A-N.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:33 I'm giving him a continental twist. John Paul says, gentlemen, Bucketheads across the land are very excited about William's big entrance. onto the West End stage. I do hope it inspires Jonathan to consider some musical theatre one-upmanship. I for one will be intrigued to see his Daddy Warbucks.

William Hanson 0:17:01 Now, who the dickens is— is that Annie?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:07 Yes.

William Hanson 0:17:08 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:09 While the rodent issue discussed previously is a worry, I understand that London theatres are far more infested with ghosts and superstitions. Fingers crossed that William avoids the ectoplasm of an old thespian or feeling an eldritch phantom by the stage door. Which leads me to my question: is the supernatural common? There appear to be mixed messages here. Horoscopes feel very provincial, But all the better classes of home seem to have a headless cavalier. So should we aspire to healthy scepticism or continue enthusiastically touching wood?

William Hanson 0:17:51 Well, our lovely resident director, Louie, was talking about apparently in the Criterion it is haunted and there is a ghost. And she said, oh no, I've seen them. It's a man dressed all in black that will just sort of appear. And literally, as she said, I mean, the timing was fantastic. Of course, what she meant was it's Marcus the sound guy who's at the back of the dress. And Marcus walks around the back, uh, to the sound desk. But no, generally that some people that have been in that theatre for longer than we have have said that they, they feel that there is, there is a ghost. I'm a bit cynical about that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:25 No, exactly. And I do think it is common. I do think, in all seriousness, I think, um, you know, anything to do with the supernatural is common as muck, isn't it, really? Let's be honest.

William Hanson 0:18:35 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:37 What do you really think? Don't you agree?

William Hanson 0:18:40 Yeah, well, no, I, I do, I do. Uh, but then is there? I do— maybe Jean-Paul is onto something in that if you are in a big sort of historic house and you're haunted by a headless man on horseback, that's maybe a little bit more upmarket.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:58 Well, maybe. You know when people go to a séance? Oh no, Auntie Marjorie's coming to visit me. There's, there's nothing luxury about that.

William Hanson 0:19:08 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:08 Auntie Marge needs to stay where she was.

William Hanson 0:19:10 So, uh, yeah, but, uh, I'll let you know if I, I actually see any ghosts in the Criterion. Half of me though, there is like a 1% of me that's like, oh well, I would— what happens if there is?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:23 Like to have the willies put up you.

William Hanson 0:19:25 Yes, indeed.

William Hanson 0:19:28 I don't know, we'll see. This is from Kate. Dear Jonathan and William, I've been a teaching assistant at a state primary school for the past 6 or 7 months. I have absolutely loved it, and my headteacher has now nominated me for Teach First training, meaning that from September I shall be working as a teacher while learning on the job. Now that I have my own classroom, I would greatly appreciate your advice on how to run the most luxury executive classroom possible.

William Hanson 0:19:51 What rules or behaviours should I encourage and enforce? What should I display on my walls? Which books should I read to the children? Most importantly, how can I make a state primary school classroom in Stockport feel less wet play and feel less wet play in Bury and more prep school in the Home Counties. Thank you both for your wise words and fabulous podcast.

William Hanson 0:20:11 Thank you for the endless laughs that now seem permanently woven into the soundtrack of our home. All my executive love, Kate.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:16 Oh nice.

William Hanson 0:20:17 Oh, that's nice. It's a lovely question, Kate. I think books, they've got to be the classics, I think.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:26 Right.

William Hanson 0:20:27 Do you not agree? I think read them Read them Dickens.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:30 Yes, the full, full collection of Dickens.

William Hanson 0:20:33 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:34 Yeah. And not too much colour in your classroom. Don't let the children ruin it with their paper chains and silly colours. Keep it classy. Keep it Clunch.

William Hanson 0:20:44 Maybe, yes, get some little Farrow& Ball sample pots, and when they're doing any painting, it's got to be from the Farrow& Ball range.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:56 Or Little Green.

William Hanson 0:20:58 Little Green, Fired Earth, any of those. They can just sort of paint with an approved anything Technicolour binnet. I think that would be nice. Yeah, um, you could— I mean, in terms of the discipline, I mean, my, my wonderful English teacher had 2 fantasy students that he would say— well, not fantasy students. One was Elsie, Elsie was the perfect student and would hand in her prep, which is what we called, uh, homework, on time, would turn up on time, would participate, would ask questions. And you always wanted to be more of an Elsie. Some of us took literally.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:38 Quite literally.

William Hanson 0:21:40 Yeah. But you didn't want to be a Bonzo. Bonzo was an idiot and was messy. Had— so Elsie and Bonzo were, were referred to as his students from his deeper and darker fantasies, as he would say. Problematic now, but, um, at the time we went with it. And yeah, it— I sort of— some sort of threat. I think you always need a threat, whether you're a teacher or a parent. You can't sort of— otherwise your discipline is hollow.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:07 Absolutely. Well done. Well, I think that'll do for this week, don't you, William? I mean, we've given all we can from home.

William Hanson 0:22:14 From our homes, yes. Well, and also the quicker this is over, Jonathan, the quicker we can get to our exciting news next week.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:20 Oh, next week's episode is gonna be one not to miss. So I think we'll leave it there for now, shall we, William?

William Hanson 0:22:25 Go on.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:26 We'll be back next Wednesday, but for now, goodbye!