Uniforms

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:05 Hello, and welcome to The Luxury Podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon-Smith, and with me is William Hanson.

William Hanson 0:01:21 This is the podcast that helps you live Hello, Jonathan and I are here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living, whatever your budget.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:30 In each episode of The Luxury Podcast, William and I tackle an area of life that we think you should upgrade, sorting the Onslows from the Hyacinths, advising the nation in gracious living. So, William, what are we going to talk about today?

William Hanson 0:01:45 We are going to be talking about uniforms. Which is why you're in that French-made outfit. And you'll only see that if you're watching on our Luxury Members Club or you're seeing any of the clips.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:00 I hoped you wouldn't bring it up.

William Hanson 0:02:01 And I've got this stethoscope around my neck and wearing nothing else. No, in many ways, we are bizarrely completely uncoordinated in a bit of a uniform of our own, because we're both in a navy manly polo.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:15 Have you got— you've not got caramel slacks on, have you?

William Hanson 0:02:19 No, I've got jeans. I know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:21 Look at you.

William Hanson 0:02:22 It's August. I don't care.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:24 Why not?

William Hanson 0:02:25 Yeah,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:25 live on the edge.

William Hanson 0:02:26 Although I have to say, these jeans I bought in America, uh, and they were sort of, you know, nice and just fitted me beautifully. And I bought them at the start of my holiday, put them on today, end of my holiday, a little bit tighter than they were.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:42 Oh well, that shows you've had a good holiday.

William Hanson 0:02:44 A very good holiday.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:46 Yeah. Oh well.

William Hanson 0:02:47 Nothing I didn't eat.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:49 Did you pull the old ripcord, did you?

William Hanson 0:02:55 Well, it's America, isn't it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:56 Oh, I've got to get beach body ready ahead of spring.

William Hanson 0:02:59 Oh yes. Oh, we could have a competition. I could have a spray tan.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:03 Oh. Oh,

William Hanson 0:03:05 I might have a spray tan.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:07 Yes, don't rock up all white and pasty.

William Hanson 0:03:09 I think I'll have a spray tan.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:11 Don't be that Brit.

William Hanson 0:03:12 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:13 You know, the one that everyone laughs at. Here he comes, he's just got off the plane.

William Hanson 0:03:18 Right, I'm gonna have a spray tan.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:19 Yeah, treat yourself.

William Hanson 0:03:20 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:21 Uh,

William Hanson 0:03:22 anyway, do we think uniforms in general are a good idea?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:25 Yes.

William Hanson 0:03:27 Yeah, I do too.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:28 Yes.

William Hanson 0:03:28 And we're not just talking school uniforms, we're talking— which I'm sure we'll talk about school uniforms, but we're talking in general for your job.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:36 I do like a uniform.

William Hanson 0:03:38 You are in a job that doesn't really have You can't really have radio presenters in a uniform, can you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:43 No. I mean, radio, I think standards have slipped significantly. I have— when I was younger, I used to probably dress a bit smarter than I do now. I would always— I would always— I was allowed to swallow. I would always wear a shirt and a jacket.

William Hanson 0:04:01 Nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:02 Some slacks, some smart shoes.

William Hanson 0:04:05 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:05 Normally chinnies. Um, whereas nowadays I am more of a kind of manly polo, slacks, maybe, maybe a sweater.

William Hanson 0:04:15 Yes. Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:16 Keep me warm. It's very air-conditioned in our building. But no, unfortunately, the days of, um, when I first started, there were some members of staff that used to wear shirts and ties.

William Hanson 0:04:25 Oh

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:26 yeah,

William Hanson 0:04:27 sophisticated. Yeah, yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:29 Well, when you were going out on a story, yeah, you know, you had to look the part, had to look suitably BBC. Whereas now, I mean, I'm one of the smartest people I work with.

William Hanson 0:04:40 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:40 Most people, I couldn't care less.

William Hanson 0:04:42 No, see, I think uniforms are good because it takes away a decision.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:45 Absolutely.

William Hanson 0:04:47 You just, you just focus on— and it's also, they are a great leveller. And I think this is why uniforms are so important in schools.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:53 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:04:53 Because it shouldn't be a fashion parade.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:55 I like a uniform in a shop. I do think it's nice to go into a shop and everyone's got their uniform on.

William Hanson 0:05:02 Yes, because you know who works there.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:03 You know who works there. there's an air of professionalism about them because of their uniform. I mean, it's marvellous.

William Hanson 0:05:10 My late grandmother, Etiquette Granny, she was a nurse, and she would say that she could pinpoint when the NHS went downhill. It's when they started letting the nurses take their uniforms home, whereas back in Granny's day, you arrived at the hospital, you changed out of your day clothes into your uniform, and all the uniforms were washed in the hospital.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:30 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:05:31 Whereas now they wear them on the bus, they wear them at home, and then they're bringing disease into the hospital.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:36 Exactly. And I bet, I bet they don't put a sanitizer in the wash.

William Hanson 0:05:40 No,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:40 no,

William Hanson 0:05:41 no.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:41 They could come with a fungus.

William Hanson 0:05:42 Yes. So Granny generally— and I think actually Granny might be right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:45 I think she's right. Absolutely.

William Hanson 0:05:47 I definitely— whether it went downhill then or not, even if subjectively it has gone downhill, I would still not allow people to wear— medical staff, doctors, dentists— to wear your stuff home.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:59 Let's start with school then.

William Hanson 0:06:00 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:00 Because that's where most of us have our first uniform experience.

William Hanson 0:06:04 Did you have a school uniform?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:06 Absolutely. I know you— I know there's a part of you that will be waiting for me to slip up here because I didn't go to private school. I went to state school.

William Hanson 0:06:14 I know that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:15 Uh, but I went to state schools that insisted on a uniform.

William Hanson 0:06:20 Because they were in Harpenden.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:21 And what you would have loved particularly about my, my state school that I went to, my secondary state school, is they had— you had to buy your uniform from the shop in Harpenden.

William Hanson 0:06:32 Yeah, of course you did.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:33 Although I think at the time you could get it from a shop in St. Albans. That's where I used to get mine from. And they had 2 blazers.

William Hanson 0:06:41 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:42 An upmarket blazer and a cheaper blazer. One was a kind of polyester-style jacket.

William Hanson 0:06:50 Were they the same design?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:51 Yeah, same design, And then there was a tweed version.

William Hanson 0:06:55 Lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:56 Guess what I wore? Polyester. No, I loved my tweed blazer. I always had the tweed. What colour? Blue.

William Hanson 0:07:04 Oh, nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:05 Navy blue. Um, and, uh, yeah, no, it's always, always smart school uniform. Now, my nephew goes to the school that I went to for junior school.

William Hanson 0:07:16 Yeah. Is it polo shirt?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:17 It's now polo shirt. It's— but everything is branded. Even they have to have their own little satchel with the school emblem on it. So, it's— yeah, it's everything.

William Hanson 0:07:28 I think a little bit of branding, fine. I think we were slightly branded as children.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:31 Yeah. No, PE kit, they have to have branded PE kit and everything. We didn't.

William Hanson 0:07:37 I have— I did ask my parents if they could send some photos because— did you ever do a first day of school photo?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:43 Yes, I did, and I'd love to have brought some photos with me, But they're at my father's house, and he's not home.

William Hanson 0:07:49 Ah, well, I did speak to my parents, and they sent some, and through the power of a cable, I'm going to pop them on the screen.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:56 And

William Hanson 0:07:56 if— but we will— don't worry if you're listening and you're not watching, we will describe what you see.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:00 I certainly will. Oh, look!

William Hanson 0:08:06 Now, we get younger. These are not in age order, I should say. There I am taking—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:11 The Conservative Party candidate for Tunbridge Wells.

William Hanson 0:08:18 Now, describe— I've got a very weird knot. I don't like that knot. I'm wearing a navy blazer, a V-neck jumper with a sort of a blue stripe, grey sweater, blue shirt, different blue tie. I think I look quite smart. My tie is a bit skew-whiff, but I was probably— don't know how old I was.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:37 Don't you look moody?

William Hanson 0:08:38 Yeah, I took things quite seriously.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:40 You were moody in Top Chat, weren't you? Oh! Is that James? Yeah. Look at his trainers!

William Hanson 0:08:51 Now, this was the other squirrel.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:02 Look at the children! Oh my God. I hope your parents have blacked-out windows. Transporting those 2 little odd bods. Do you want

William Hanson 0:09:33 to

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:33 describe me? I can't do it justice. Oh my word. Well, so William is wearing— William's got some funny Harry Potter glasses on, and you've got a truly hideous blazer.

William Hanson 0:09:59 It's like a boating blazer.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:01 Oh, it's awful, isn't it? And then you've got a kind of little V-neck jumper on underneath. And then you've got—

William Hanson 0:10:08 There seems to be a button or something at the top of—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:10 Yeah, there is. And then you've got, you've got your legs out, and then you've got some kind of slightly pulled-up socks.

William Hanson 0:10:19 Can I just say that is the most tanned my body has ever been naturally, because I had not had a spray tan at that age.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:24 Ah, but you are hilarious. Look, look at you.

William Hanson 0:10:28 James, look at cute little James.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:32 James reminds me of my brother. My brother looked a bit like that when he was little. He's got—

William Hanson 0:10:37 Before you set him on fire.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:38 Before. He's having his third-degree burns, and he's there. He's there.

William Hanson 0:10:43 James in a little tracksuit.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:45 And he's got these hilarious kind of 1980s rapper trainers on.

William Hanson 0:10:50 It looks like he hasn't done them up.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:52 With Velcro strap.

William Hanson 0:10:54 He hasn't done those up.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:56 Oh, he's got Velcro on them. Oh, look at him. And he looks— and he almost looks like a little old man.

William Hanson 0:11:05 It does, doesn't it? Whereas that doesn't look like an old man at all.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:07 Oh, you've got hair like Boris Johnson in that, haven't you?

William Hanson 0:11:11 Yeah, that is a bit weird. I don't know in what the next photo is.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:14 Oh, there. Now, that's more—

William Hanson 0:11:17 That's cute.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:18 That's junior school, it's not a primary school.

William Hanson 0:11:20 Yeah, well, that was— that might have been the same uniform. That's the same uniform without the blazer and without the funny glasses.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:27 Oh, yeah.

William Hanson 0:11:28 That might even be the year earlier.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:30 Have you got Velcro-up shoes? They look like orthopaedic— orthopaedic boots you've got on.

William Hanson 0:11:38 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:39 Did you have a foot problem?

William Hanson 0:11:41 I do have Aquinas gait. I've got lovely grey shorts and grey socks pulled right up to my knees.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:50 Yes.

William Hanson 0:11:52 I think I look very smart.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:53 You do. You're giving us a little bit of a smile there, aren't you? Yeah. Trying to work a smile.

William Hanson 0:11:57 Now, oh, this—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:58 Oh, look at your leg!

William Hanson 0:12:00 No, it's where I hurt my knee. I— look at the greys. Look at the greys.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:04 Oh, look.

William Hanson 0:12:05 On my left leg.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:06 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:12:06 Yeah. And I was—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:07 Is that why you've got your leg at a jaunty angle?

William Hanson 0:12:09 Yeah, round the maypole.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:11 To show it.

William Hanson 0:12:12 It was around May Day celebrations.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:15 Wow. And when was this? Was this in the '90s?

William Hanson 0:12:18 This would have been before I left— before I left— this was St. Brandon. So, I joined Clifton in '96, so this was '95, maybe? So I was 6.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:26 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:12:27 I don't know, 6, 7, one of the two.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:29 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:12:29 But yes, I look very smart.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:31 Oh, look at you.

William Hanson 0:12:32 I like the fact I've gone for shorts, whereas that other boy's gone for trousers. And as we know, trousers are a bit common on young children.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:37 Is that little boy trying to hold on to you?

William Hanson 0:12:40 Yeah. I'm not having any of it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:46 Who's the one who seems to be trying to operate both of you from behind?

William Hanson 0:12:52 The ginger.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:53 I don't

William Hanson 0:12:57 know

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:58 who that is. The ginger. Yeah, the ginger.

William Hanson 0:13:02 Now, here I am much older now. This would be the first day of upper school.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:08 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:13:10 And I would have been 13.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:12 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:13:14 Yeah, I'm sort of slightly smiling.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:15 My tights. I mean, my school uniform was almost identical

William Hanson 0:13:19 Really?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:20 Yeah, it's very similar. Almost— even the tie was almost the same as well.

William Hanson 0:13:23 Well, we had house ties. Did you have different house ties?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:26 No, no, we had a school tie.

William Hanson 0:13:27 Oh, no, we had—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:28 But mine was the same kind of stripy tie.

William Hanson 0:13:30 Yeah, it's a sort of dark navy base with a lighter blue thinner stripe.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:34 You've got some nice shiny buttons. I don't think I had shiny buttons on my blazer. I think I had— I think I had blue buttons. Yeah.

William Hanson 0:13:43 Yeah, okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:44 But yeah, you look Oh, now we're back again.

William Hanson 0:13:46 We're back, we've regressed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:47 We're back to primary school.

William Hanson 0:13:48 Now, this was the first day of, uh, when I was 7 and I joined Clifton College. And the lower school, as it was called, as you can see, it was called Buckham.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:56 Buckham. I like their beer.

William Hanson 0:13:59 Buckham beer.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:00 They do a very nice Buckham beer.

William Hanson 0:14:01 You love drinking Buckham beer.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:02 I do.

William Hanson 0:14:02 And so I joined Buckham.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:04 You look in that photo, and I'm going to say this now, you look like a wrong'un. You look like— that is the photo you see from a kid who goes off the rails and becomes a smack rat.

William Hanson 0:14:18 Well, as we thankfully know—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:26 Doesn't he? He looks like— look at him. You look at your face, you look like a right thug in the making. Look at you. I am going to smash your face in. That's what you look like.

William Hanson 0:14:39 Well, luckily—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:40 Luckily, thank goodness.

William Hanson 0:14:41 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:42 You didn't take that route.

William Hanson 0:14:44 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:44 But the writing was on the wall.

William Hanson 0:14:46 Is that it? Oh, I think the iPad's frozen. Oh, there we go. Sorry, Rodrigo, just as you stood up. Ah, now this is— yes, hello. Who's this dish? Yeah, that's one of my last days at school.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:07 Yep. Oh, you seem to have a You

William Hanson 0:15:12 seem to have absolutely no jawline in that photo.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:14 And something shiny coming from your ear.

William Hanson 0:15:17 I think that's where my mother—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:19 Oh, there you go.

William Hanson 0:15:20 Look at— now, that was the last time my hair ever looked very good. I used to have gorgeous

Izzy 0:15:25 hair.

William Hanson 0:15:26 So lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:27 Right.

William Hanson 0:15:27 Proper— look at that proper hair.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:30 Yes, very David Cameron, isn't it?

William Hanson 0:15:33 Thank you. That was when I received The Gordon Hazel Trophy, which was for generosity, dedication, loyalty, and something else.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:43 And you've learned to do your tie properly.

William Hanson 0:15:46 I have learned to do my tie properly. That was in a suit. So, there we go. Did you have to wear suits in the upper school? Yes, in the sixth form.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:52 Yeah, suits.

William Hanson 0:15:54 Yeah, we did too. Let's, um, we'll just for the rest of the episode, we'll just have, um, just have James and me on the screen.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:04 Oh, look at your little brother, the way he's holding your hand.

William Hanson 0:16:07 I know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:08 And he looks so terrified, doesn't

William Hanson 0:16:11 he?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:11 Was that his first day at school?

William Hanson 0:16:12 That would have been his first day in—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:14 And he looks all frightened, doesn't he? And you're there, hold on to me, I'll look after you.

William Hanson 0:16:21 I never spoke to him at school. No, I did, I did.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:23 Well, I think they're lovely.

William Hanson 0:16:25 Yeah, cute.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:25 Beautiful. I had a horrible uniform. story. Horrible experience, actually. My first day at school. Have I ever told you?

William Hanson 0:16:34 How old were you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:35 5.

William Hanson 0:16:35 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:36 And I started school 2 weeks after everyone else because—

William Hanson 0:16:42 Because you were—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:43 Sorry?

William Hanson 0:16:44 Why?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:45 Because I was what, William?

William Hanson 0:16:47 Slow?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:49 No, because I lived in Codicott.

William Hanson 0:16:52 What, and the commute was a long time?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:54 Near Pond Court.

William Hanson 0:16:55 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:56 And we then moved—

William Hanson 0:16:57 We should say Pongcourt is actually a place.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:59 Yes, yeah, my grandmother used to live there.

William Hanson 0:17:01 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:01 Um, and we moved from Cotdicott to Harpenden, and I started school a bit late because of the move.

William Hanson 0:17:09 What, you got lost?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:10 I don't know why, but I started the school late, uh, 2 weeks late. And the first day at school, uh, I, I still remember. It's my earliest memory, and it must be traumatic. Because, uh, we had our kind of lesson, and then the teacher said, right everybody, get undressed for PE.

William Hanson 0:17:31 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:33 And I took her quite literally, as 5-year-old children do. So I took all of my clothes off, and I stood there, and the children started sniggering, rather like all of you are at the moment, actually bringing back memories. And they were laughing, they were pointing at my winky doodle dido, and I was standing there in the class traumatised, and the teacher said, you can do it naked if you want, Jonathan, but you might want to leave your pants and vest on. Because at the time, PE uniform for my generation of children was pants and a vest.

Speaker B 0:18:09 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:09 That was what you wore.

William Hanson 0:18:10 Because the proper PE kit was still being done on the looms?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:13 We didn't have a PE kit at what was then infant school. Wow.

William Hanson 0:18:19 And so, at what age did you actually have a PE kit? Well,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:22 I don't really remember when it actually became a proper PE kit, but it was literally, you did it in your pants and your vest and bare feet. It's very bizarre, isn't it, really?

William Hanson 0:18:35 That's very odd. And what were you doing at— what is PE age 5?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:39 Climbing the rope. Did you have a rope?

William Hanson 0:18:42 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:43 Did you not?

William Hanson 0:18:44 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:44 In our assembly hall, we had the rope.

William Hanson 0:18:48 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:48 And they were hooked up to the roof, and then for PE, they'd lower the ropes. They're probably not allowed to do it now, health and safety.

William Hanson 0:18:56 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:56 But I could climb all the way to the top of the rope like a monkey, and I'd swing at the top of it, and then you'd come down, and you had to come down very carefully without getting a rope burn on your hands. Yeah.

William Hanson 0:19:08 And they did that age 5?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:09 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:19:10 Lordy.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:11 Yeah, we used to go up and down the ropes.

William Hanson 0:19:12 Geez.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:13 I like going up the rope. That's what we used to do in our pants and vests. I didn't do it naked.

William Hanson 0:19:19 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:19 No, you'll be pleased to know. But that was a pretty traumatic uniform experience.

William Hanson 0:19:25 Yeah, bless you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:25 It stayed with me.

William Hanson 0:19:26 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:26 I remember the ridicule from the children, because they were all wearing their pants and vests, and I was completely starkers. Now, I don't know

William Hanson 0:19:34 if this is in that

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:36 photo.

William Hanson 0:19:37 No, it's not. I'll go back to that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:40 Sorry. Imagine James in that. Imagine him naked. That was the age—

William Hanson 0:19:48 I don't want to imagine my brother naked!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:50 But that was the age I was!

William Hanson 0:19:52 He's 3!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:53 Oh, what, and he went to school at 3?

William Hanson 0:19:56 Yeah, reception, I think. I think he's 3 there.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:58 No, he's not 3! Look at him!

William Hanson 0:20:03 I don't know how old that is.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:04 No, he's older than 3.

William Hanson 0:20:05 4 or 5.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:06 4 or 5, yeah, same age. I was about that age. You laughed at me. I had that same look on my face.

William Hanson 0:20:13 To be fair, James, I mean, he was gonna hate me saying this, James spent most of his childhood naked.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:16 Did he?

William Hanson 0:20:17 He would whip his clothes off, run around.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:19 Child naturist.

William Hanson 0:20:20 Yeah, he was, he was a little naturist. Right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:23 Yeah. Well, there you go.

William Hanson 0:20:24 Weird

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:24 boy. He would have got on well at my school.

William Hanson 0:20:27 Thank God I'm the normal one. Look

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:38 at you. Oh, William.

William Hanson 0:20:43 I look a bit like Harold Shipman, don't I?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:45 There it is. I know exactly the photo you're talking about. It was the Harold Shipman photo, wasn't it? It was always in the papers. Rodrigo won't have a clue how— He was a doctor who killed his patients, Rodrigo.

Speaker B 0:21:37 I know who it is, yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:38 Oh, do you? Why, didn't come down to Peru as well? Oh, how we laugh.

William Hanson 0:21:54 Um, at school, when we went into 6th form— yeah, I'm just gonna do that— when we went into 6th form, um, the ties were the same ties that we would be wearing in 3rd form. So, that was, uh, 3rd form was Year 9.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:06 Ah,

William Hanson 0:22:07 so you were—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:07 we were allowed to choose our own tie in 6th form?

William Hanson 0:22:09 Ah, oh no, no, we still had to wear house ties, or if you got an award, you got the headmaster's tie, and then if you were a prefect, you had a prefect's tie. And I thought, well, we're getting my lovely Austin Reed suit that I wore too. I bought 2, one in grey, one in navy.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:25 I've got an Austin Reed tux.

William Hanson 0:22:28 Do you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:28 I can't fit in it.

William Hanson 0:22:30 Austin Reed have been—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:31 But it's a lovely tux.

William Hanson 0:22:33 Dead for years.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:34 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:22:34 Okay, yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:35 It's a beautiful tux, but I wouldn't even get it halfway around me now, sadly.

William Hanson 0:22:40 Well, keep losing 6 kilos and go on the jabs and then— You will. Anyway, but no, the, uh, I remember thinking, gosh, I've got this lovely suit and we're gonna wear this cheap, awful polyester tie. I don't like that. And also, it was not quite a full-width tie. It was a little— it wasn't a skinny tie, but it wasn't quite the right fit.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:01 You didn't have your own one made? Do

William Hanson 0:23:03 you not know this story? I've told this on Texted, but I, yeah, I found in the gap between 5th form and lower 6th, I think it was called like the Cambridge Tie Company or something. I've still got it because it says it on the back. And I wrote to them, and I said, please, can I send you my school tie, and can you recreate the pattern, and I will buy several from you because I want it in silk. And there was some back and forth where they couldn't quite understand who I was and what I was doing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:33 Understandably.

William Hanson 0:23:34 But they— I sent them a photograph, and they said, oh, actually, that pattern, actually, we could actually sell that tie because that's quite a It's not, you know, it doesn't have a crest on it. It was just sort of a double stripe type thing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:44 So, they put it into production?

William Hanson 0:23:46 So, they put it into production, and in time for sixth form, and I still have them. They're a little bit threadbare on the bottom.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:51 Can you still buy them then? Do they still make them?

William Hanson 0:23:53 Well, I don't know if you can still buy them on the website, but you— because it was quite some time ago. But yes, thus I had 2. And then when James went into Upper Sixth or Lower Sixth, I had left. I was asked, please can I wear— because he was in the same house as me— please can I wear your silk ties with my suit?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:11 So, did they—

William Hanson 0:24:12 and I said no.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:13 Oh, of course you did.

William Hanson 0:24:15 Yeah. You go and get your own made.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:17 Oh, you are a meanie.

William Hanson 0:24:18 Or buy them from the website.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:20 And did the school allow that, or did they—

William Hanson 0:24:22 No one really noticed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:23 They didn't notice?

William Hanson 0:24:24 Because it just looked a little bit nicer than everyone else's.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:28 Right.

William Hanson 0:24:28 But it looked correct. And then for those that did know, because I think eventually I'd talked about it, they just found it—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:34 I can't believe you kept that one to yourself.

William Hanson 0:24:35 Whimsical and amusing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:38 Yes. Eccentric old William Hanson. I wonder what he'll be when he grows up.

William Hanson 0:24:42 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:42 A smack rat.

William Hanson 0:24:44 Or a pathological GP. One of the two.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:52 Better get that, it's bad. It's probably Harold Shipman.

William Hanson 0:24:58 Probably the NHS. That's where they went downhill, actually, Granny. It's when Harold Shipman started.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:31 Welcome back, Bucketheads. We've been discussing uniforms, and it's now time for your questions. So, let's check out our heaving bags of post. Do remember, if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, postman@luxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions. Also, a reminder, you can watch these episodes on Patreon if you join our Luxury Members Club. Just head over to luxurypodcast.co.uk to join.

William Hanson 0:27:12 Do you know what I'm thinking, just before we go on to these letters? Uh, we've got producing us temporarily, uh, because Sadie is on a holiday.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:20 Selfish.

William Hanson 0:27:22 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:22 Very selfish.

William Hanson 0:27:23 Um, we've got Izzy. Gen Z Izzy.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:26 Gen Z Izzy.

William Hanson 0:27:27 Hello, Izzy.

Izzy 0:27:27 Hey, Slayers.

William Hanson 0:27:28 What was your uniform in the north?

Izzy 0:27:31 You will absolutely hate this. We had a sweatshirt.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:33 A sweatshirt?

Izzy 0:27:34 And that's in high school.

William Hanson 0:27:36 Oh.

Izzy 0:27:37 And we were claret and blue because we were near Burnley as well. That's not a joke.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:42 Really?

Izzy 0:27:42 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:43 Oh, that does not sound very smart.

William Hanson 0:27:45 Trousers, skirt?

Izzy 0:27:46 Oh, girls not allowed trousers.

William Hanson 0:27:49 Well, that's quite right. Yeah.

Izzy 0:27:51 With a great pleated skirt that I used to roll up, of course.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:54 I bet you, I bet you were that girl, weren't

Izzy 0:27:58 you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:59 Yeah. With your skirt rolled up and your tie about that, that long.

Izzy 0:28:03 Big chunky tie.

William Hanson 0:28:03 Did you have to wear a tie?

Izzy 0:28:04 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:28:05 Yeah.

Izzy 0:28:05 Of course.

William Hanson 0:28:06 Tie in a sweatshirt?

Izzy 0:28:08 Yeah. So it was blue shirt.

William Hanson 0:28:09 Crew neck or V-neck?

Izzy 0:28:10 Like all the way up.

William Hanson 0:28:13 That's V-neck. Like that. Crew neck is round. No,

Izzy 0:28:15 no, no. So it was— sorry, it was— well, this is the thing. We had blazers up until year 11 and then year 11 was sweatshirt to prove that you— but it was really annoying because you didn't have any pockets.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:24 Yeah, that is annoying.

Izzy 0:28:25 It was so annoying. So no, it was like a circle burgundy sweatshirt with a blue shirt and you had to wear a tie underneath the sweatshirt, but you couldn't see the tie.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:34 That's a bit of a stupid decision.

William Hanson 0:28:35 Absolutely. Yeah. Okay. And did you like wearing a uniform?

Izzy 0:28:39 Yeah, I loved the sweatshirt. Did you have summer and winter uniforms? 'Cause we did. No. You didn't have—

William Hanson 0:28:44 We were allowed to modify— we were allowed to then go blazerless and take the tie off and roll our sleeves to above the arm.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:49 Oh, no, we weren't allowed to take— you had to ask for permission to take your blazer off, and lots of teachers said no.

Izzy 0:28:57 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:58 They would make the decision whether or not they felt it was hot enough to justify you taking it off.

William Hanson 0:29:03 And it was lesson by lesson.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:04 Yeah, yeah. And there were a few teachers that used to always— there was no point asking because they'd always say no, even if you were boiling hot. Excuse me, sir, can I take— no! So you just kind of sat there sweating.

Izzy 0:29:15 Oh, were you in the era where they used to hit people?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:18 No, they didn't. No. Although, although I went to school, uh, just after—

William Hanson 0:29:22 No, but only

Izzy 0:29:24 just after.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:24 Just after. They'd just stopped, but we still had some teachers who were, um, close to retirement who hadn't got out of the habit yet. And we had one teacher who I won't name, but he was almost— I think he had one more year left before he retired, and he just could not stop being violent. And he used to throw the bin across the classroom, these big square metal bins.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:51 He would throw it at children's heads. And there was one time we were having— we were doing reading, and there was this boy, Ian, I still remember him. Mm-hmm. Ian, who was giggling and whispering while we were supposed to be reading, and this bin just suddenly came across the classroom, smacked, cut his head open, and he's sitting there bleeding, and the teacher wouldn't let him go to the toilet even though he was pouring with blood. Back in the good old days, you see.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:19 And now young people think they've got it tough now.

William Hanson 0:30:21 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:22 You didn't get smacked around the chops with a bin.

William Hanson 0:30:24 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:24 Exactly.

William Hanson 0:30:25 We had a couple of teachers that would kick or throw chairs and things.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:28 Really?

William Hanson 0:30:29 I don't think I ever actually made contact with anyone, luckily.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:32 Yeah, but that was, you know, that was back in the day, wasn't it? Yeah.

William Hanson 0:30:36 Did you get punished at school?

Izzy 0:30:38 We went to solitary confinement.

William Hanson 0:30:41 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:42 Solitary confinement?

William Hanson 0:30:43 God.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:44 Like a boot

Izzy 0:30:45 camp?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:46 Was it like a school cum ball stall?

William Hanson 0:30:48 Should

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:51 have been.

William Hanson 0:30:56 I tyre of you. Let's now go to

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:58 H from Swansea. Yes, what's H said, William?

William Hanson 0:31:03 Dear JVS and the secret love child of Kenneth Williams and Penelope Keith, the great— I think that's me— the Great British Bobby, police to our international listeners, used to be absolutely in a class of its own and recognised worldwide. Smart tunics and helmets commanded respect. These uniforms are only worn now as ceremonial wear, with the current police uniform Looking like a glorified security guard with baseball caps, combat trousers, and high-vis vests. What's your opinion on the current police uniform? Yours, a proud Silver member, H from Swansea, not from Stebbes. Well, actually, I've got— we've got— we have listeners I know who are in the police force to this. I should have asked them.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:40 I have very strange views on this. One of my views won't surprise you. Yeah, the other one might.

William Hanson 0:31:47 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:49 I do love a helmet. I liked when the police used to wear their helmets, you know, the bobby on the beat.

William Hanson 0:31:56 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:57 And they'd walk around with those helmets.

William Hanson 0:31:59 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:59 I liked that.

William Hanson 0:32:00 Do they not do that now?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:01 No, you never— they've never got the helmet on now. And there's a nice shiny kind of

William Hanson 0:32:07 helmet.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:08 Well, no, but shiny thing on the front.

William Hanson 0:32:10 The crest.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:11 Well, it's like a kind of badge. Yeah. Like a silver badge. So, I do like the kind of smart old-fashioned uniform. But, and I know this is odd, I love seeing armed police with balaclavas on.

William Hanson 0:32:26 With balaclavas?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:27 I love it when you see the police doing some kind of— when they descend on some criminals.

William Hanson 0:32:34 You do work in Dunstable.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:35 And they've got guns up their legs, they've got machine guns on, and they've got a balaclava over their face. I think Fantastic, chaps! Go get 'em! I think the police should wear balaclavas all the time and be absolutely covered in guns.

William Hanson 0:32:51 Balaclavas and the helmet?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:52 No, that would be silly.

William Hanson 0:32:55 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:55 No, no.

William Hanson 0:32:56 You see, I think police— we should go back to when the police wore capes. Because they did. They used to wear little capes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:04 Right.

William Hanson 0:33:05 I think that's fun.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:08 Right.

William Hanson 0:33:08 I'm all for capes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:09 It's too camp. I think that's why I like the police when they've got all their guns and they're going on some kind of, you know, drugs raid.

William Hanson 0:33:18 You are going to— when you come to our soiree, our friend, and actually I think he listens, Tyler, works for the Metropolitan Police.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:26 Okay. And does he wear the balaclava and the guns?

William Hanson 0:33:30 You can ask him. I mean, I think he's management, But he probably has done. You can— I will make sure that you chat. Yeah, because you're gonna love that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:39 Do you not know what I mean when I say that? You know when they go and do like a dawn raid?

William Hanson 0:33:43 Yes, but it—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:44 And they turn up in a van, and they all get out, and they've got face coverings over them.

William Hanson 0:33:49 Around my neck of the woods, we don't really see that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:52 Oh.

William Hanson 0:33:52 You, of course, would, you know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:54 No, I'm not talking about where I live.

William Hanson 0:33:56 Well, when do you see them?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:57 On the programmes that I watch.

William Hanson 0:33:59 Oh, on the— well, on the TV, yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:00 I love a programme about the police.

William Hanson 0:34:02 Well, I know you do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:04 Interceptors, traffic cops.

William Hanson 0:34:06 I think you should narrate one. I want to actually start a campaign for you to become the narrator of a police cop show.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:10 Oh yeah, but I get too excited.

William Hanson 0:34:12 No, no, but that's good. You want a narrator that's sort of, you know, invested.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:15 Oh, I'd love that. Yeah, I'd really like that. So, I hope that answers your question, H. Daria has been in touch. Is it Daria or Daria?

William Hanson 0:34:25 Daria, I think.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:26 Daria. Dear Jonathan and William, it's been a while since I last wrote. Yes. Oh, we've missed you, Daria. But I think I have some valid observations to share regarding uniforms.

William Hanson 0:34:37 Well, we'll see.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:38 First of all, I recently had the pleasure of flying with Aer Lingus. Oh, she's such a cunt. And I simply have to comment on their cabin crew uniforms.

William Hanson 0:35:23 Connie. Yes,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:25 I got it! In my opinion, they are among the least flattering in the industry. The colours feel rather uninspiring, and the overall design does little to enhance the wearer's appearance.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:43 Even Ryanair, despite its reputation for being frugal, seems to provide better attire for its staff. Unless, of course, the staff have to pay for it themselves. At this stage, nothing would surprise me. In the event of an emergency, I feel I'd be more inclined to save myself than rely on their assistance. Yes, I know I'm being a prejudiced, mean person, but I can't help it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:07 Secondly, school uniforms, yay or nay? In general, I don't think it's a bad concept, but it seems to me that some schools Struggle with the execution. Living in Ireland, my heart breaks every time I see girls wearing skirts so short that the slightest gust of wind risks revealing more than should be on public display, especially at that age. What are your thoughts? I can't wait to hear your opinions, and of course, to see you at Luxury Live 2.0.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:38 Best regards, Daria.

William Hanson 0:36:40 Well, I've got the Aer Lingus uniform. Up. Yeah, I mean, for the man, it's just a suit with a sort of a tealy tie.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:47 Yes.

William Hanson 0:36:48 He's not standing brilliantly well, so that's probably— he was standing a bit stiff, so he's not looking great. For women, it's this sort of— it's either a tunic with a neckerchief.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:57 I don't think it's that bad.

William Hanson 0:36:59 It's not terrible. It's the colour.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:00 I quite like the colour.

William Hanson 0:37:02 No, I think if the colour was a different color— also, shouldn't it, if it's Airlink, shouldn't it be green?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:08 I think it is more of a girl. I don't know that that's— that's my old neighbour Pat next door. That's her favourite colour. Everything in her flat is that colour. Yeah. And I don't think she ever worked for Aer Lingus.

William Hanson 0:37:19 Well, she should. She'd love it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:21 Take a sister. I don't think it's that bad.

William Hanson 0:37:25 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:26 Do you remember one of my favourite airlines?

William Hanson 0:37:29 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:30 That sadly is no longer. Do you remember Monarch? Do you?

William Hanson 0:37:34 I've never flown it. No, no, no. Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:36 Why are you laughing like that?

William Hanson 0:37:39 Because it's just a flashback.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:40 I loved Monarch Airlines. I always used to, when I went to Frigg, I always booked my flights with Monarch.

William Hanson 0:37:46 Did you go Monarch?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:47 Always loved Monarch. Loved Monarch. I don't know what they— they had a nice uniform. Shall I have a look and see if I can find their uniform? Shut up!

William Hanson 0:37:59 Izzy is making fun of how Jonathan's using his phone.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:02 Well, I find it hard to type on these phones. Back in the days, I loved my BlackBerry. Cabin crew. Let's, uh, uniform. Let's have a little look. Yes! Now.

William Hanson 0:38:17 Now describe what you see.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:19 Now, okay. Well, you describe it.

William Hanson 0:38:22 Oh my gosh!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:23 Yes!

William Hanson 0:38:24 I think it looks like Izzy's school photo, if I'm honest.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:27 Exactly! Izzy, you would have liked to be cabin crew for Monarch.

William Hanson 0:38:31 I mean, the 2 on the outside, the flankers, are in sort of funny little hats.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:36 Yes.

William Hanson 0:38:37 And it's a female suit.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:39 The 2 in the middle look like they live at the Playboy Mansion.

William Hanson 0:38:42 They do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:43 Don't

William Hanson 0:38:45 they? Just for those watching, look at it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:47 Well, that's back in the day.

William Hanson 0:38:48 That is. Yeah, black dresses, and they're in sort of what I'd call going-out tights.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:55 Give the passengers something to look at.

William Hanson 0:38:58 Wow.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:58 There you go.

William Hanson 0:38:59 Is that why you like Flying Monarch?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:00 Well, I do remember their uniforms were quite kind of zhuzhy, and then, well, they— oh, they did get a bit more conservative. That was towards the end. That was a bit more conservative, a kind of blue with a yellow tie. Now, see, I love a yellow tie. That's probably why I liked it.

William Hanson 0:39:16 Oh, do you? Yes, you do, actually. You wear a lot of yellow ties.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:20 A yellow tie and a yellow pocket square. Oh, that was the uniform. Yeah, no, I always liked the Monarch staff's uniform.

William Hanson 0:39:30 You see, the British Airways uniform, which got redesigned 2 years ago now by— I think it's also Old Boateng did it— don't love it. I don't hate it as much as I used to, but that's because I don't like change, so they could have changed it to anything.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:45 See, I don't like the Virgin uniform.

William Hanson 0:39:47 I

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:48 can't stand that horrible aubergine colour.

William Hanson 0:39:51 Aubergine? I thought it was red.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:51 Oh no, no, they—

William Hanson 0:39:53 Is it red and aubergine?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:55 Auberginey kind of trousers that the men wear.

William Hanson 0:39:59 Oh, right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:40:00 Yes. I know, I don't like— I'm going to have to look for that now.

William Hanson 0:40:03 But it all depends on how you wear your uniform and if it's fitting and if it's well-fitting, because there are a few— you sometimes, whatever, whether it's department stores, airlines, wherever, and it just doesn't quite fit, and it just then it looks rubbish. It's got to fit.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:40:17 Oh yes, you see the— so the women, it looks like they wear red, but the men have this kind of horrible— see him? He's got this aubergine. Yeah, it's an aubergine suit.

William Hanson 0:40:28 Yes,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:40:29 and it's— I think it's the most disgusting colour.

William Hanson 0:40:31 Yeah, that's not— that's not a colour that works.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:40:33 It's really horrible.

William Hanson 0:40:35 No. Um, this is from Anonymous.

William Hanson 0:40:37 Dear Jonathan and William, when was the last time you visited a bank? With the ever-decreasing amount of branches now open, it's getting to be quite an expedition to get to a branch, especially here in Wales. I recently had to visit my only remaining branch in reasonable travelling time as my elderly father does not have internet banking. As we walked in, we were greeted with a sign saying, this branch will be closed from the 2nd of July. Another nail in the coffin for British banking.

William Hanson 0:41:00 The other thing that absolutely horrified me was the attire of the staff. The gentleman who served us was in his mid-60s, and when I had previously visited, he had been smartly dressed in a corporate collar, tie, and blazer jacket. You can just say blazer. Now he was dressed in what could only be described as a tracksuit. The new uniform comprises a tracksuit-style casual 2-piece navy trousers and zipped jacket with a green polo shirt.

William Hanson 0:41:21 Not even a manly one. The poor man looked more like an employee at the local leisure centre. What on earth has happened to British banking? As ever, your thoughts would be eagerly welcomed. You don't need to stay anonymous for that.

William Hanson 0:41:31 You could have put your name on it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:32 I don't— I have not been in a bank for years. In fact, I don't even think I have a bank in my nearest town anymore. I don't think there's a single bank.

William Hanson 0:41:43 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:44 So, um, I don't know what they wear now.

William Hanson 0:41:47 No, it probably will be quite casual.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:49 Last time I went in a bank, they did wear a kind of uniform, quite smart.

William Hanson 0:41:53 Yeah, and it's what we've talked about, certain department stores where they've gone from suits to polos, and I think it's, it's not the same.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:01 Absolutely.

William Hanson 0:42:02 What are we going to be wearing in 20 years' time? T-shirts?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:04 Standards, William.

William Hanson 0:42:05 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:06 Thank goodness for us trying to keep them up.

William Hanson 0:42:18 I feel that could be used in our marketing. Standards, we'll keep them up. One of my old headmasters, Dr. Spurr, he would say to us, and I quote this so often, when we would go into the Easter holidays to do revision for those that were revising, if you were of exam age, he would say, now, you don't have to wear your school uniform in the holidays, but may I suggest when you come to revise, you put it on because you will be in the mindset of academia.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:47 Really? And did you?

William Hanson 0:42:50 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:50 Yes, you did.

William Hanson 0:42:51 Once or twice. I didn't do it all the time.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:52 Of course you did.

William Hanson 0:42:53 But I did. But it is— if you're trying to revise and you're there in your sort of pyjamas and you're, yeah, oh, I'm too comfortable, I can't relax. Whereas actually, if you put on your clothes, as we said right at the start, the clothes inform The behaviour, not the person.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:05 Quite. Well, do you know what? I think that's more than enough for this week.

William Hanson 0:43:09 It is.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:09 We have been fabulous.

William Hanson 0:43:11 We have.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:12 In fact, at our most fabulous, we will be back tomorrow. We have just loaded the photo back up of Harold and his—

William Hanson 0:43:23 One of his patients.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:23 Little old man brother. Uh, we will leave it there. We will be back tomorrow for one of our bonus episodes.

William Hanson 0:43:29 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:29 Very excited about that. And if you can't We'll see you next Wednesday for our main episode.

William Hanson 0:43:34 And we should say, next week you might be hearing a little bit of a change on the podcast.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:39 Oh, you might?

William Hanson 0:43:40 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:40 Have I been busy?

William Hanson 0:43:42 You've been very busy with, with others.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:43:45 You'll find out more. Until then, goodbye!