Windows

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:41 Lovely, Rodrigo. What a quality engineer you are for A Better Class of Podcast. We're very lucky to have you. Hmm. You are. Hello and welcome to The Luxury Podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon-Smith, and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life.

William Hanson 0:02:11 Hello, Jonathan. I am here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living, whatever your budget.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:16 Yeah, now in each episode of I'll try that again. In each episode of The Luxury Podcast, William and I tackle an area of life that we think you should upgrade, sorting the ons, lows from the hyacinths, advising the nation in gracious living. So William, what are we going to talk about today?

William Hanson 0:02:39 Well, I wonder if they'll be able to see through this topic. We're talking about windows.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:42 Now, who came up with this?

William Hanson 0:02:44 No idea. Maybe me. I don't know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:49 Yeah, windows. Yeah. How to have a luxury window.

William Hanson 0:02:53 Yes, and I did have to clarify with Sadie, it's not— I thought we were talking about computer operating systems originally,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:59 right? But

William Hanson 0:03:01 it's not. It is the things that you look through, hopefully. If you've got a view, you might have— in fact, I had a great conversation yesterday at some friend's house. I went for dinner about a UV film that you can have put on if you've got big sort of crystal or bifolds or whatever. Bifolds, yes. Have a UV film put on so it Takes out some of the heat.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:21 Well, I have a man that does this. Because the man that—

William Hanson 0:03:24 I think I'm about to have a man that does this as well.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:26 Because the man that does this for me is also the man that installed my high-security film.

William Hanson 0:03:32 Yes. Well, could you please actually— 'cause whilst we wait for our air conditioning to be installed—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:37 Not another one. You want me to put another tradesman your way?

William Hanson 0:03:41 I'd always rather go off a recommendation.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:44 I line these tradesmen up for you, and you pick them off one by one, don't you?

William Hanson 0:03:50 I don't think I've seen that film.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:51 Yes, I do. Well, I do have a nice young man.

William Hanson 0:03:57 Does he operate in my area?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:58 I don't know. I don't know, but I can ask him.

William Hanson 0:04:02 Please.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:03 Okay. Okay.

William Hanson 0:04:05 Because that would actually help cool it down. Even if we did have AC, it would help, you know, keep the AC, you know, would work more efficiently.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:12 Yes. You can also have the film put on with a mirrored exterior, so no one can see in.

William Hanson 0:04:18 That's fine, because we're overlooked by the school, so And it's set back. There's no one overlooking us, is there?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:24 Okay.

William Hanson 0:04:25 So, I'm not that fussed about that. But yes, if I were, I'd absolutely have that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:29 Yeah, quite lovely. So, what do we think is a luxury window?

William Hanson 0:04:33 Sash.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:35 Definitely sash.

William Hanson 0:04:36 Definitely sash.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:37 Double hung. Call me old. Call me old.

William Hanson 0:04:42 What's double hung?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:45 Double hung.

William Hanson 0:04:46 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:47 I've got to tell you what double hung— Well,

William Hanson 0:04:53 they're side hung, I know that, but that's more for casement windows. What's double hung?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:00 Double hung.

William Hanson 0:05:01 You just make me choke.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:06 You're right. Do you need a Heimlich? Double hung is where the top sash moves and the bottom sash moves.

William Hanson 0:05:16 Yes, where the top and bottom open.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:18 That's right. Yes, quite. So you can adjust your top and your bottom. Good.

William Hanson 0:05:23 Always preferable.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:24 That's double hung. Ah. And that's the way I like it.

William Hanson 0:05:28 But do you have sash windows? I thought your case was— No, I don't. No, no, I don't. I don't. What are you on about, you lunatic?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:45 Well, if I was getting— if firstly, if I had the right property,

William Hanson 0:05:50 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:50 I don't live in a double-hung kind of house. No.

William Hanson 0:06:05 But don't worry about it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:07 Right. So—

William Hanson 0:06:08 Go with what you've got. With what God gave you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:14 So, my property is not right for double-hung. Yours is.

William Hanson 0:06:20 Oh, we are double hung.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:21 You are double hung.

William Hanson 0:06:22 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:22 Of course you are. But I have, well—

William Hanson 0:06:25 Front and back.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:26 Are you? Oh, how executive. But if I had the right property, I'd definitely be double hung. No mistake about it.

William Hanson 0:06:33 How much do you think it would cost to redo all your windows?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:37 A lot.

William Hanson 0:06:37 Because are you—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:38 Well, I'm—

William Hanson 0:06:40 Plastic?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:41 I'm double glazed with a uPVC.

William Hanson 0:06:44 Lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:45 And in an ideal world, I'd like to replace them. Probably just the front, because your curb appeal is what matters.

William Hanson 0:06:54 And you've got that big bush out the back, so no one really sees your back.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:57 I've got a very big bush out the back. But what I would go for in my property, and I'm going to say something controversial.

William Hanson 0:07:04 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:04 I'd avoid timber. I would. There you go, I said it.

William Hanson 0:07:07 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:07 I would avoid timber.

William Hanson 0:07:08 Why?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:09 Because I'd like a flush-fronted UPVC

William Hanson 0:07:15 Right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:15 Where the frame and the window is completely flush, and you can get them in some lovely colours, some very, very nice colours. They give the appearance of a timber window but without any of the maintenance, you see, and you also get the high-security fixings.

William Hanson 0:07:31 I'm sure with a timber window you can.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:33 Well, timber is, uh, yeah, I mean, timber— so firstly, if you go to a

William Hanson 0:07:38 luxury company,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:40 yeah, but timber Is I still feel timber would be easier to break into than uPVC because the uPVC that they make windows out of is specially designed that even with a crowbar, it kind of bends in a way that it won't allow you to actually buckle the lock open.

William Hanson 0:07:56 Yeah, but you've got a Master Blaster.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:58 Well, I have, but even so, I still like to be absolutely secured to and above British standards. So I think I would still go for that. Also, the other thing Timber requires a lot of maintenance. I mean, have you had to have yours done yet?

William Hanson 0:08:11 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:12 When you do, you're going to see what I mean, because it's very time-consuming to have your timber windows repainted.

William Hanson 0:08:19 Well, actually, I'm now thinking, are we timber on our windows? We're definitely double-hung.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:23 Oh, hang on a minute. So, after all of that with you almost being sick in your mouth there, you might also be double-hung with a plastic finish?

William Hanson 0:08:31 I think we're wooden out the back.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:34 Are you?

William Hanson 0:08:35 Yeah, which is the wrong way around if you're going to have it one way around. I actually don't know because we have—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:40 I just wonder how they're going to reach those windows when you have them repainted. Scaffolding?

William Hanson 0:08:44 We, um, yeah, because we have shutters. I don't really look at my windows very often.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:50 Well, when you have your windows repainted, it's a very timely, very time-consuming problem. Um, I once had a huge row.

William Hanson 0:08:59 How about if you have wood stain?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:02 Wood stain?

William Hanson 0:09:02 Yeah, like if they're just wood coloured.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:04 Well, you've still got to maintain them. You still need redoing. The weather affects them. But I had a big row once with a man that I—

William Hanson 0:09:12 You?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:12 Yes, uh, in my last flat. Do you remember the man I had a row with before and chased him down the road?

William Hanson 0:09:18 Yes, yes, we've done that story.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:19 This was another man.

William Hanson 0:09:20 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:21 This was a man who owned— he owned a top floor flat. I'm going to call him, for the sake of this story, Gordon. And Gordon was a cheap, uh, cheapskate.

William Hanson 0:09:34 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:35 And everybody else had invested in high-quality luxury double glazing for a better class of apartment, and he refused to because he rented his property out. And his windows started going all shabby, all the paint was peeling off, they looked terrible. And we had a bill through for the— from the managing agents dividing the cost of the repainting of his windows between all 14 owners.

William Hanson 0:10:01 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:02 No.

William Hanson 0:10:03 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:04 So I phoned him up. I got his telephone number, found out where he lived, phoned him up, and I said, I need to talk to you about your windows.

William Hanson 0:10:12 Hang on, was he upstairs?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:13 No, he didn't live there. He rented it out.

William Hanson 0:10:15 Oh, rented it out. Yeah, of course.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:16 So I phoned him up, and I said, I need to talk to you about your windows. We've all had a bill to repaint them, and He said, well, that's, that's not my problem. The upkeep of the building is divided between all of the owners. I said, but we've all had luxury double glazing installed. You're the only one that hasn't. Why should we all have to pay for your windows to be repainted? Anyway, he, he went mad that I phoned him up, and we had an absolutely blazing row. I loved it. And he ended up slamming the phone down on me.

William Hanson 0:10:47 Hmm.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:47 Next week, scaffolding up, those windows were repainted by him. Never spoke to him again, never saw him again, but he had those windows done.

William Hanson 0:10:55 And you didn't pay?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:56 And I did not pay, no.

William Hanson 0:10:57 Well done, you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:58 No one did apart from him.

William Hanson 0:10:59 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:00 So, that's the problem with wood. You've got to paint it, and it's—

William Hanson 0:11:03 How often do you think you need to paint it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:05 Well, I don't know, but I often walk past windows, wooden windows, and I see them starting to go rotten, and, you know, the paint's peeling, and you think, gosh, this is a regular maintenance job. I would say every few years you have to have them done.

William Hanson 0:11:18 Oh

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:19 yeah,

William Hanson 0:11:19 because you see, we've got a new front door coming later on in the year, November, of course. Yeah, we think— in fact, it's a shame that it has— I did chase up today because we're in the process now of choosing our stained glass.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:31 Oh!

William Hanson 0:11:31 And I thought maybe I could bring in some patterns and get you to help pick for our windows. It's August at the time of recording, so people are off, so I can't. But I may in another episode.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:44 Oh, I'd like to help you choose your window.

William Hanson 0:11:47 We're going geometric, not floral. Nice. Yeah, some people go floral and it works really nicely. In fact, the people I was at dinner with last night, they've got a floral stained glass door.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:55 Oh well.

William Hanson 0:11:56 But I think we're a bit more geometric.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:57 I think you definitely are. Yeah, yeah,

William Hanson 0:11:59 yeah, with what we're doing. So, um, that's it. And with colours, we haven't got— Harewood Grey.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:04 Oh yes, very nice.

William Hanson 0:12:07 Not far off the colour of your— in this light it looks a bit grey.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:10 Isn't this a lovely colour?

William Hanson 0:12:12 Yes, Jonathan's polo shirt is like— it's, it's not a navy, No, it's a hairwood grey.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:15 It's petrol blue.

William Hanson 0:12:17 Petrol blue.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:18 There you go.

William Hanson 0:12:21 Yes,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:21 petrol blue for you. So can you now agree with me that maybe uPVC is not to be sniffed at?

William Hanson 0:12:29 It's not. No, no.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:30 There are some benefits.

William Hanson 0:12:31 I would say in an ideal world, wooden windows are smarter.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:35 Yeah,

William Hanson 0:12:36 I'm sorry, you can't— it may not be as secure, but smarter.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:40 Yeah, but it depends on your property as well, because some modern properties, they suit aluminium. Or even steel-framed windows.

William Hanson 0:12:47 Well, Crittal.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:49 Crittal, exactly.

William Hanson 0:12:50 Is out the back, you know. Actually, some friends I went to go and visit this morning, they've got Crittal out the back now. They've just done a reno, as they would call it in Australia, and their Crittal is an aluminium, sort of a light grey colour. Not sort of silver, just a light grey, not the sort of the usual sort of black. that you see. And I thought, oh, actually, that looks quite nice, because it's not as— because sometimes black, depending on the space, can look very imposing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:18 How long until you replace your bifolds with Cricut?

William Hanson 0:13:21 Oh, Mikey, if it was up to my husband, we would have done it already, but I've said I can't really be bothered to go to the expense or the hassle.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:27 I just think they're going to be a bit of a fad. I think they're going to age. You know, things come in and go out, and they're quite a statement, aren't they?

William Hanson 0:13:36 They are. So, we're sticking with bifolds.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:39 I think bifolds will end up being more timeless, personally.

William Hanson 0:13:42 I want to do other stuff in the house before we do that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:44 Yeah, quite. What are our thoughts in terms of the inside of the window and how to dress one's window? What's the most luxury way?

William Hanson 0:13:54 Well, let's start with what the most luxury way isn't: neck curtains.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:58 Neck curtains. Yes, we can all agree on that.

William Hanson 0:14:01 Although, I don't know whether I prefer a neck curtain or one of those really awful— what are those sort of school blinds? You know, the sort of the

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:09 Oh, the ones that, um, concertina.

William Hanson 0:14:12 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:13 Um, yeah, what are they called?

William Hanson 0:14:14 Yeah, I can't stand those.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:16 Right.

William Hanson 0:14:17 They look fine in an office, perhaps.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:18 What are they called?

William Hanson 0:14:19 Um, or in a school.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:21 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:14:21 But not in a home.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:22 No.

William Hanson 0:14:22 And Bucketheads, I'm sorry if you've got any and you're listening and they're in your home. I'm very sorry if I've offended you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:27 You don't, you don't really care.

William Hanson 0:14:29 Rip them out.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:30 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:14:30 But I'm sorry, they're awful.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:31 But,

William Hanson 0:14:32 um, unless it's a rented property, please don't rip them out without your landlord's permission.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:35 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, but you can get smarter ones.

William Hanson 0:14:40 Can you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:40 You can have them replaced. Yes, you can get them replaced with some kind of, um, some fabric-y ones.

William Hanson 0:14:46 Oh, okay. Yes, rather than that sort of grey, utilitarian grey.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:50 Yeah. Oh yeah, you don't want that. But there's also—

William Hanson 0:14:52 Hang on, don't you have those?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:53 Sorry?

William Hanson 0:14:54 Don't you have— not the grey ones.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:55 In my study?

William Hanson 0:14:56 Yes. Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:57 I think in an office environment it's fine, but in a, uh, in a bedroom or a living room environment, it's definitely not.

William Hanson 0:15:04 No, that's where you have your net curtains. That's right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:06 But then, you say net curtains. What is the— no, not net curtains. Sheers. The sheers. Now, sheers, I think, are a more executive net curtain.

William Hanson 0:15:17 Yes, it's when they've got the sort of the pattern, the doily-esque pattern in. That's where it's really—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:21 I think if you've got a big window and you need some privacy, sheers can look terribly executive.

William Hanson 0:15:29 Yes. Completely. And they dress the window nicely as well.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:32 But they're basically net curtains, aren't they, sheers?

William Hanson 0:15:35 But they're not net. They're sheer.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:37 No.

William Hanson 0:15:39 We don't have sheers.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:41 No. Well, you don't need to.

William Hanson 0:15:43 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:43 Because you've got wooden plantation shutters.

William Hanson 0:15:46 We just call them shutters now.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:47 Why do you just call them shutters?

William Hanson 0:15:49 Because it's more politically correct.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:51 Oh.

William Hanson 0:15:54 It's just called shutters.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:56 You're joking.

William Hanson 0:15:58 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:59 They're not called plantation shutters.

William Hanson 0:16:00 They're just called shutters. I've had to give various people in my life the talk.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:05 They're called plantation shutters. They were, yeah.

William Hanson 0:16:10 Maybe when you were a child.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:12 I'm looking this up.

William Hanson 0:16:13 Then now we now just call them shutters. Why do you need that first word?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:18 Because, um,

William Hanson 0:16:19 they're no different from a normal shutter.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:21 Because they were the words you— they were the blinds or the shutters that were used in plantations.

William Hanson 0:16:26 Mhm. And we now call it shutters.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:28 Yes, but shutters can be— if you said shutters, I'm thinking of the Londis. Pull my big metal shutter down, padlock it at the bottom. I don't think that sounds like a plantation. Plantation shutters, here we go.

William Hanson 0:16:45 Yes, but I think we just call them shutters. Everyone knows in a domestic property you're not going to have your metal grill like outside the Londis. It's just called shutters.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:53 Hillary's Plantation Shutters. You see?

William Hanson 0:16:58 Well, I think Hillary's should be cancelled.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:00 Right.

William Hanson 0:17:03 Unless they wish to sponsor us.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:04 There's even a company called plantationshutters.co.uk.

William Hanson 0:17:07 Yes, I know, we used them. But that was in our previous project.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:16 But you've decided they're un-PC.

William Hanson 0:17:19 Shutters, I think, is nicer. But I do think shutters, or PS, whatever you want to call them, are smart.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:24 High-security roller shutters.

William Hanson 0:17:26 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:27 That's what William has in his living room.

William Hanson 0:17:30 I'm surprised you haven't got one. You do have one!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:33 I do.

William Hanson 0:17:33 Your carport!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:37 No, I— that's not a shutter.

William Hanson 0:17:38 It is a shutter. It shuts.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:40 It's not. That's a high-security prison-style door. Do you know what it's called?

William Hanson 0:17:46 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:47 A bandit door. I've got a bandit door.

William Hanson 0:17:54 Well, you might not be double hung, but at least you've got a bandit door.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:59 It's true. It's true. So, so there's you with your roller shutters, me with my bandit door. What lovely homes we've got!

William Hanson 0:18:14 But we've moved on to doors and— well, yes, no, bandit doors. I feel we could do another episode on bandit doors.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:19 Go back to windows. Because I find with shutters, your kind of shutters, I find they can make a room very dark.

William Hanson 0:18:27 Well, they can do. Depends how many slats you've got and the opening.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:31 How many have you got?

William Hanson 0:18:35 Per sort of Pain. We must be 8.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:39 And have you got one of those little wooden sticks that you lift up and down to adjust your light?

William Hanson 0:18:44 We did. So, in the previous property where we used that company, we did have little sticks. So, you would just hold on to the rod and move it up and down. Mikey has just ordered some new shutters that have not yet been installed. They're being installed next week. For his study.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:03 Oh, they're not powered by Alexa, are they?

William Hanson 0:19:06 No. But they don't have a rod. But they all move. You only move one, and they all move together.

Speaker B 0:19:11 Oh, executive.

William Hanson 0:19:12 Yeah. Which I think all ours do, I think, in the bedroom. I can't remember if the bedroom ones have rods or not. I like a rod because I think it's easier. You can just use it, and then they're all done.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:22 But do you have curtains as well in the bedroom?

William Hanson 0:19:24 No, we don't.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:25 Oh, that's not very cosy.

William Hanson 0:19:28 Well, I think you'll find our bedroom's very cosy.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:29 What, with shutters?

William Hanson 0:19:31 Yes!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:32 Oh, I like the curtains closed.

William Hanson 0:19:35 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:35 I've got a fully upholstered pelmet.

William Hanson 0:19:37 You do?

William Hanson 0:22:14 I think this might be my favourite episode we've ever done.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:16 I'm not joking.

William Hanson 0:22:20 I know you do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:21 I've got it.

William Hanson 0:22:22 I've seen it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:23 I had it upholstered. But I love that, 'cause it hides the track and gives a hotel chic look. And I pull my little cord, my curtains go across.

William Hanson 0:22:34 It's like the crème, isn't it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:35 And it just— it's— I say goodbye, pull my curtains. But, um, I just love curtains in the winter. I don't think you can beat curtains for cosiness.

William Hanson 0:22:47 No, but how often are you in your bedroom? You might

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:51 just—

William Hanson 0:22:52 Every night. Well, not every night, but— no, every night.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:00 Yeah, I know.

William Hanson 0:23:02 No, but like, you go in to sleep. You're not like, oh, I'm going to go— I mean, some people have massive bedrooms and might go and read a book in there.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:09 I like to watch television in the bedroom.

William Hanson 0:23:11 Oh, you see, you do have a television in your bedroom.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:14 I do. I like to go to bed in the winter, pull the curtains, get under the duvet, all cosy, watch an episode of Benidorm, and then go to sleep.

William Hanson 0:23:24 Getting classier by the minute.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:25 Luxuriating underneath my fully upholstered pelmet.

William Hanson 0:23:30 Okay, let's talk about the cleanliness of the windows.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:34 Oh, here we go.

William Hanson 0:23:36 Do you clean your own windows where you can?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:39 Inside, yes. Outside, I have a highly qualified professional in the form of Pete with his extendable pole.

William Hanson 0:23:48 We have Perfect Finish Ryan who comes and does us inside and out sometimes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:56 Is he pole-fed?

William Hanson 0:23:57 Yes. Only if he does a good job.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:06 This episode is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

William Hanson 0:24:21 Literally, he came about 3 weeks ago and did us inside and out, front and back, all floors. Of course he did. Literally 2 days later, on our skylights—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:29 Oh.

William Hanson 0:24:30 Bird on both of them managed to defecate. So, I've had to text him because we've got the soiree coming up. I said I can't have pooey skylights.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:37 No. I have kamikaze pigeons. That's my problem.

William Hanson 0:24:41 What do they do?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:42 Well, often Pete will come around. He comes around on a Saturday, first Saturday of the month, and he'll do my big front window. And all of a sudden, you'll be sitting there washing— watching Cash in the Attic, and there's a big bang, and a pigeon Flies into my window and then leaves a dusty imprint of a pigeon with the feathers. It's like an angel in the middle of the window.

William Hanson 0:25:04 And does the pigeon like drop to the floor, or—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:06 Sometimes they die, sometimes they nearly die, at which point I have to go and get something. I was going to say, you're going to get eaten by your neighbour. Oh, in fact, there was a, there was a sad situation the other day.

William Hanson 0:25:18 Oh

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:19 yeah, it was, it was bin day. And I'd heard a bang, and I thought it might have been a pigeon. And I went to empty my kitchen bin, and my wheelie bin was outside at the edge of the driveway waiting for the highly qualified professionals to come and empty it.

William Hanson 0:25:36 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:36 And so I went to put my kitchen bin waste in there, and I could hear a little flapping.

William Hanson 0:25:41 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:41 And next to the bin was the pigeon who'd obviously flown into my window.

William Hanson 0:25:46 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:47 And

William Hanson 0:25:47 tried to fly away.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:48 He'd got a broken wing and a broken neck.

William Hanson 0:25:53 So, you stamped on it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:54 I did not stamp on it. I did not. Actually, it's a happy ending, this story. Oh. I thought, I'll have my shower.

William Hanson 0:26:03 Don't know about your happy ending in the shower.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:10 I thought, I'll have my shower, and then I'll take it to Cecil. 'Cause I didn't want to wake him up too early. It was the crack.

William Hanson 0:26:20 Oh, okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:21 And when I came out, having had my shower and got myself all ready, it had gone. And I can only assume—

William Hanson 0:26:29 It had been eaten by a fox.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:30 It flew away. Either that, or it was mauled by a fox.

William Hanson 0:26:38 Right. Whatever you want to tell yourself.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:41 But I do live in the countryside, and these things happen.

William Hanson 0:26:43 Oh, yes, yeah, absolutely. So, when you do clean your windows inside, what are you using?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:48 Las tres brochas and a— oh, oh, we must get you one. When you come to Frigg, the Spanish do incredible glazing chamois. They do. They do lovely cloths that have a rough side and then a high-buff side.

William Hanson 0:27:08 Great, because I used to use lint-free dusters, and nobody sells lint-free dusters anymore because it's all gone microfiber.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:15 Yeah,

William Hanson 0:27:16 and I can remember— I think I've told this story before, but at my grandmother's funeral, not Etiquette Granny but Grandma, I had been saying to my other granny, Etiquette Granny, that I could not find lint-free dusters for love nor money anymore. And right outside of Grandma's funeral, as I'm in floods of tears having walked out with the coffin, Granny comes up to me with a lint-free duster and goes, there we go, you can take that back.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:38 Hang on, who died?

William Hanson 0:27:40 Grandma, but then Granny. Oh, stop! Yeah, plot twist.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:55 She came back from the dead.

William Hanson 0:27:58 I must give him that duster.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:00 Gave me a duster.

William Hanson 0:28:01 No, yeah. And I still have it to this day. It's very threadbare, and I don't use it, but I can't throw it away.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:06 Oh, that's nice.

William Hanson 0:28:07 Because I remember both grandparents.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:08 Well, the Spanish do sell some wonderful window Great, well, we'll get some.

William Hanson 0:28:13 You see, I don't use a product. I would use a squirt of Fairy Liquid and some white vinegar for the dirt.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:18 Oh yeah, but then you smell like a fish and chip shop.

William Hanson 0:28:20 No, you don't, Jonathan. Only if it's a splash.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:23 Right.

William Hanson 0:28:24 Just especially if you're doing outside the windows, you absolutely need—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:27 Have you tried the Las Tres Brujas window cleaner?

William Hanson 0:28:29 No, but I have a feeling I will be.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:31 The smell is absolutely joyous. You tried it, Rodrigo? No. Oh, it's really lovely. It's got a lovely perfume to it. It doesn't smell like— because you know when you use Windowlene or Mr Muscle or Whatever you call

William Hanson 0:28:44 it. Yeah. Nil glass. Have you tried nil glass? No. That's very good.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:47 Is

William Hanson 0:28:47 it? Yes. Lakeland.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:50 Oh.

William Hanson 0:28:50 They do nil glass.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:51 Okay.

William Hanson 0:28:52 Doesn't smell, so you don't get the smell, but it is very good. I'll try and get you some nil glass.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:58 No, don't worry, because I like my Las Tres Brujas.

William Hanson 0:29:00 No, but I— if I'm going to try yours, you've got to try mine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:02 Yeah, but I like the smell. I'm not going to get the smell on mine.

William Hanson 0:29:06 Well, spritz a bit in the air whilst you're using your nil glass.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:08 Okay, well, I'll try it. I'll try it.

William Hanson 0:29:10 We haven't talked— I mean, we've talked about films for windows.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:13 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:29:14 Car windows, I feel we should just touch upon blackout windows.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:19 Yes, I have them.

William Hanson 0:29:20 Oh, right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:21 So do you. Before you start that little rant. Oh yes, I do, don't I?

William Hanson 0:29:30 I'm hardly in the car.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:31 William!

William Hanson 0:29:32 Yeah. I think they're fine, actually.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:36 They're very nice.

William Hanson 0:29:37 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:38 No, I think there is There are blackout windows and there are blackout—

William Hanson 0:29:41 I think it also depends on the car.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:42 Yeah. And also, don't forget, you're not allowed blackout windows on the front windows. That is illegal.

William Hanson 0:29:49 They do in some countries.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:50 Oh, in America and elsewhere, absolutely. But in the UK, it is illegal, and I love it. Do you ever watch Traffic Cops?

William Hanson 0:29:57 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:58 Or Interceptors?

William Hanson 0:30:00 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:00 Oh, I love it when they pull over a tinted window person and they peel a bit off. They pull a strip off their window. So that they then have to remove the rest of it, because the police officers have ruined their window tint.

William Hanson 0:30:13 So they— so hang on, so they're pulling off what from the front?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:16 Yeah, so what they do—

William Hanson 0:30:17 So, oh, so it's a film, it's not actually like glass? No, it's a film. Because I'm sure ours is glass, it's not a film.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:22 No, it's a film, William.

William Hanson 0:30:23 What?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:23 It will be a film on the inside of the glass, yeah.

William Hanson 0:30:25 What? I thought it was glass.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:27 It would be installed by the manufacturer, I'm sure, but it will be a film.

William Hanson 0:30:31 Oh, I'm going to look at my windows when I go home.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:32 Well, don't start peeling it.

William Hanson 0:30:33 No, I'm not going to peel, but I'm going to just like, you know, touch the edge. Make a terrible Giving the car back in a month anyway.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:38 But when they stop some young hooligan and they say— they get this special thing where they test the tint of the window, and if it's too dark, they then get their fingernail and they peel a bit off. And you see this, you know, young bloke look horrified that his tinted boy racer car now has been ruined.

William Hanson 0:30:55 I don't understand why people really— I sort of get it for back of cars if you're being chauffeured or something, for privacy.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:00 Well, and it's very good for security as well. Because sometimes there have been points where I've left something in the back of my car, in the rear seats, you know, coat or something like that. And of course, you can't see it through the window.

William Hanson 0:31:13 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:13 It's not there as an enticement to a would-be car thief.

William Hanson 0:31:16 Unless they shine a torch.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:17 Unless they shine a torch.

William Hanson 0:31:19 Yeah. Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:20 But, you know, during the daytime hours, you can't see what's in the back.

William Hanson 0:31:24 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:25 So anything could be going on in there. But isn't.

William Hanson 0:31:33 But isn't. Lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:34 I better get that. I better get that. It's bound to be someone very important. Welcome back, Bucketheads. We've been discussing Windows, and it's now time for your questions. So let's check out our heaving bags of post. Do remember, if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, postman@luxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions. Also, little reminder, you can watch all of these episodes on Patreon if you join our Luxury Members Club. Head over to luxurypodcast.co.uk to join.

William Hanson 0:32:22 Lovely. And this first one is from Helen. Hello, beautiful boys. I have a quandary. My partner and I live in a house that has large sliding glass doors along one side. Sometimes, in a certain light, it's tricky to see whether they're open or closed. One day recently, my partner walked straight into one of these glass doors. Unfortunately, I witnessed this, and now I can't see him in a sexual way.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:41 What?

William Hanson 0:32:46 Any suggestions as to how I can remove the image of his misfortune from my mind? What is— also, what's the best product for cleaning windows? I suffered with terrible smears. Well, I bet you do now.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:32:58 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:32:59 Lots of love from Slaggy Helen from Devon.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:01 Slaggy Helen. Oh, we had a neighbour once who liked to drink. This was many years ago when I was a child, and my parents had a very boozy dinner party.

William Hanson 0:33:14 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:15 And he and his wife were invited, and my parents had patio doors leading out into the garden, and I remember he He was a smoker, and he'd obviously gone up from the table deciding he wanted to go and have a cigarette, and he walked straight into the patio doors. And you have never heard such a bang in your entire life. And then the blood started gushing. He completely broke his nose. There's blood gushing everywhere. He walked bang into it.

William Hanson 0:33:44 Oh, wow. Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:45 It was very funny.

William Hanson 0:33:51 You went and had a shower.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:52 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:33:53 And you came back, but it's amazing. You've been eaten by a fox.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:55 It's amazing how unattractive that makes someone.

William Hanson 0:33:57 Well, clearly, Snaggy Helen does not find it attractive. I don't know how you get that out of your mind. You're just going to have to sort of remember the good days.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:06 There is a technique, though, that you can use if you do have windows like that. You can buy some little kind of, in different shapes or sizes, or little strips of a kind of frosted film that you can put at eye level on the glass to make it look like decoration.

William Hanson 0:34:24 Well,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:24 and it stops you, you know, your eyes recognise that there is actually a window that's shut.

William Hanson 0:34:29 It's interesting you say this because last week we were on holiday in Chicago, Mikey and I. Not us, Mikey and I were on holiday in Chicago, and we did one of our favourite things to do in Chicago, the architecture riverboat tour, which is fascinating because Chicago has got beautiful architecture. We walked around Chicago, by the way, saying Jonathan would love Chicago. It is like clean New York. Everyone is nice. It's pretty. It's got everything you want, all the positives about America. You wouldn't— and it was nice weather as well, and it's right by the lake that feels like the sea, so if you want a bit of that. Anyway,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:01 okay,

William Hanson 0:35:02 you would like Chicago.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:03 I do have some Virgin Air miles I need to use, so—

William Hanson 0:35:05 Right, well, let me know, and I'll come. We'll do Frigg, and then we'll do Chicago.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:10 Hang on, you're coming with me? What?

William Hanson 0:35:14 Oh, West, let's pick at this wound again.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:17 Hang on a minute. So you want to— well, let's see.

William Hanson 0:35:19 Well, you could— I'll use my British Airways miles.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:22 Oh, you're going with a different airline?

William Hanson 0:35:23 Yes. Oh. I haven't been Virgin for a long time.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:27 Well, neither have I.

William Hanson 0:35:28 Longer than me.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:29 Much longer. Which is why I need to use these points.

William Hanson 0:35:34 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:34 They're drying up.

William Hanson 0:35:39 Um, no, but you, um, yeah, just tell me when you're going.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:42 Okay,

William Hanson 0:35:42 I'll pop over.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:43 Oh, nice. Okay.

William Hanson 0:35:44 Anyway, but in Chicago, because a lot of the buildings are glass now, if it's sort of a more modern building, yeah, um, they have— they've just— they now design them in certain ways so that, because they're on the flight path for the migration of birds, so that the birds aren't constantly flying into the windows. And they literally— you can see, once you know, you can see it. And some of them, yes, have those patterns on, but some are sort of mottled or are not sheer plate. Some are mirrored. I'm not sure if that particularly helps, but apparently the Apple Store, which is a beautiful Norman Foster and Sons-designed store on the river— beautiful store, absolute death trap to birds because they refuse to do anything about it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:23 Oh,

William Hanson 0:36:24 it's sheet glass. I mean, it is stunning to look at, but it's a death trap.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:28 They'd rather see the birds die.

William Hanson 0:36:31 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:31 Than adjust the architecture of their building.

William Hanson 0:36:33 The Chicago Architecture Centre have written to them numerous times to let them know what they could do about it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:37 Oh, really?

William Hanson 0:36:38 And apparently they're not doing anything about it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:39 Ooh, bit of Chicago controversy.

William Hanson 0:36:41 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:42 Juicy. Jake's been in touch with us.

William Hanson 0:36:44 Oh yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:44 He says, good day, chaps. I come to you as a Luxury Gold member in seek of arbiters for a dispute my wife and I are having. We're looking to move to a new house in the future and cannot agree on whether to have blinds Or net curtains? We currently have net curtains in our bay window now, and it's very Pond Court-esque, and in my opinion, should have been left in the '90s. What are your luxury opinions on this matter, Jake?

William Hanson 0:37:15 Blinds.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:16 Or sheers.

William Hanson 0:37:18 Or sheers. Now, we haven't talked about the difference between Roman and Venetian blinds. I like a Roman blind. I think a Roman blind looks very smart.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:27 With the right window, small window. Can't have a Roman blind on a big window, can you?

William Hanson 0:37:34 Yeah, so we, in our top bedroom— in fact, when— if you might be coming around at the weekend with your drill, we'll talk about this.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:40 Oh yeah, true, to come around and do a hole for you.

William Hanson 0:37:41 Yeah, and several actually, because I think it might need several. And— or you might just put several in whilst attempting to do one.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:49 I'm not going to try. I've not got very good aim.

William Hanson 0:37:50 Well, it's only for my potatoes, so you can put it wherever you like.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:54 Lovely.

William Hanson 0:37:55 But in the top bedroom, we have a nice soft-edge Roman blind, which is really— it's very sheer, actually, that, but there is a Venetian behind it that you can drop down to block out the light, and that looks very nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:07 Yeah, that's good.

William Hanson 0:38:08 Yeah. This is from Rushad. Doesn't start with a greeting, just says, what's your opinion on blackout curtains or blinds? I cannot get to sleep without them. Well,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:17 I have had all of my curtains replaced with blackout curtains.

William Hanson 0:38:21 Are you one of those that puts— I mean, as a child, I used to put Blu Tack over the LEDs. on things like power chargers. No. So, there was not a speck of light.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:28 In fact, when I was a child, I didn't have any curtains in my bedroom. I didn't like curtains, so I would sleep with no curtains every night.

William Hanson 0:38:36 Whereas now?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:37 Whereas now, I'm a sensitive old soul, and I do like my blackout curtains.

William Hanson 0:38:42 And you see, I've gone the other way. I used to put, you know, as I say, Blu Tack. I lived in the country, so there was no light coming through. Whereas now, I live in the city, we have our shutters that we shut, but there is light that comes through from time to time, and I'm not that fussed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:59 No. Look at you getting all casual and relaxed.

William Hanson 0:39:02 I don't want it light, don't get me wrong.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:04 No,

William Hanson 0:39:04 but I'm fine with if a bit of streetlight comes through. I have friends— we have friends actually who listen to this. Hello. They'll know who they are. I also actually discovered I had another friend who does exactly the same thing. Everything is blackout, Pitch black, and then they wear an eye mask.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:20 Oh gosh.

William Hanson 0:39:22 Aren't they funny?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:23 That's quite— yes, that's quite—

William Hanson 0:39:25 I'm tight. Actually makes me feel quite relaxed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:27 Quite over the top.

William Hanson 0:39:27 Anyway, hello boys.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:28 And that would make— that would make my face hot.

William Hanson 0:39:31 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:31 Unnecessarily hot.

William Hanson 0:39:33 I don't like something pressing down on my face at night.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:35 No. Johan has written to us, William. He says, dear William and Jonathan, I have a question. about the correct luxury protocol when one's boutique hotel stages a burglary of one's own room through the window.

William Hanson 0:39:52 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:53 My partner, now fiancé— yes, gays— and I were staying at a luxury boutique hotel in Canterbury when a power cut disabled the RFID lock to our room, rendering our keycards useless. This was inconvenient because we needed to get to our room to get ready for an imminent appointment to inspect some of Canterbury's luxury attractions. Our hotel manager—

William Hanson 0:40:21 You're missing a word.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:40:22 What? Oh, our camp hotel manager, surely a friend of the podcast, arrived to assess the situation. After a few minutes of camp panicking, He fetched a tall ladder, climbed up the outside of the building to our room, proceeded to smash one of its panes, and then reached through the broken glass, opened it, and climbed into our bedroom before letting us in from inside. It was less luxury boutique hotel and more low-budget jewellery heist, but it worked. Unfortunately, the operation left shards of glass Shattered across our luggage. To compensate us for the temporary conversion of our room into a crime scene, the hotel generously waived our parking charge.

William Hanson 0:41:14 What?! They've done more than that!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:17 So William and Jonathan, what would have been the truly luxury solution here? A locksmith? A replacement suite? Someone discreetly repacking our glass-covered belongings while we toured the cathedral? And most importantly, does free parking adequately compensate for a hotel manager burgling your rooms on the— burgling your room on the hotel's behalf? Yours, from our room with a broken view, Johan and Adam.

William Hanson 0:41:43 Wow. No, free parking? I'd say phone the consumer hour.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:47 Yeah, that's not really acceptable.

William Hanson 0:41:51 I would move the—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:52 Locksmith.

William Hanson 0:41:53 Yeah, or— and then once you're in, because presumably the lock then won't work, or even if they had smashed in, The window. You move— if you— if the hotel had space, move rooms, definitely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:03 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:42:03 And comp that night's stay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:06 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:42:07 That's ridiculous. Oh, free part what? £12 for all the hassle and the time you've wasted? And also, presumably, the window's just been smashed in. It's quite a breeze. What time of year was it? It's quite breezy. What are you doing then when you're trying to go to sleep? Johan, I think you were being far too nice letting that Off.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:26 Absolutely.

William Hanson 0:42:27 But how funny.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:28 Complain retrospectively. And if you need someone to help, I know of a very good consumer journalist.

William Hanson 0:42:34 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:34 Yes. Well, do you know what, William? I think that's more than enough luxury for this week.

William Hanson 0:42:38 What a fun episode.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:39 I genuinely— I didn't know what we were going to talk about today, but I've enjoyed every moment.

William Hanson 0:42:44 I also think it's one of those episodes where I'm going to listen to it back and go, we didn't talk about this. We didn't even talk about window locks.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:50 Oh! Security.

William Hanson 0:42:53 We'll have to revisit Windows, I think.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:55 I do love a multipoint. We'll leave it there for now. Uh, we will of course be back tomorrow for another luxury bonus episode, but until then, goodbye!