Cheap Jabs and Elbow Deep

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:12 Hello and welcome to The Luxury Podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon-Smith, and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life.

William Hanson 0:01:22 Hello, Jonathan and I are here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make Life worth living, whatever your budget.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:28 Welcome to another bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, where William and I will trade tips and stories from our own luxury lifestyles, as well as delving into our lovely great big male sacks. William, have you had a fantastic week?

William Hanson 0:01:41 I have had a lovely week, thank you. I am lubing myself up ready to go back into Titanic.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:45 Oh, of course you are.

William Hanson 0:01:46 It's only a couple of weeks away.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:48 Yes, very soon.

William Hanson 0:01:48 Which is nice, and I need to do something that you have done. Before I do that, I need to go and get my COVID and flu jab.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:55 Oh yes, I've got mine booked for next Friday.

William Hanson 0:01:57 Ah. Can you get them all done in one jab?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:00 Well, I— it's funny you say that because—

William Hanson 0:02:03 Surely that must be a thing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:04 Yes, you can, but I think they do it in both arms, and then you end up with 2 arms aching. So, I think I'm going to leave it a few days before I get my—

William Hanson 0:02:15 Oh, you're having them back to— not back to back?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:17 I'm not going to do them back to back. No, I've got my COVID next Friday, and then I think I'm going to get the flu one for a few days later. Because—

William Hanson 0:02:24 You see, yesterday we talked about phobias. I'm not— now don't laugh— I don't love needles.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:30 You don't like a little prick?

William Hanson 0:02:32 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:32 But the COVID jab, literally you don't feel it.

William Hanson 0:02:37 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:38 It's so— the needle is so minute.

William Hanson 0:02:40 Well, yeah, it's the same as the Botox needle. And again, I work myself up into a little bit of a palaver when I'm having that done.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:46 Right.

William Hanson 0:02:46 But the flu needle, my God, it's huge!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:49 Well, I don't know that it's Huge, William.

William Hanson 0:02:52 Whack it in.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:53 What are you talking about? It's not huge, is it?

William Hanson 0:02:56 It is. It's not the small, tiny, teeny, tiny needle.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:59 Well, no, no. But are you— you're paying, I presume, to have your COVID jab?

William Hanson 0:03:05 Well, yeah, because I'm not eligible for the free one.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:08 No, you're not. No.

William Hanson 0:03:09 Your flu jab, do you get that free?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:11 No. No, I do not get my flu jab free. No. I get it done at a supermarket. No.

William Hanson 0:03:21 Have we got the right presenter for the flagship podcast?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:23 That's true. No, that— I always get it done. Nah, it's cheap. Get cheap flu. Yeah.

William Hanson 0:03:29 I always think with your vaccinations, scrimp.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:32 Yeah,

William Hanson 0:03:32 go budget cut on what chemicals being pumped inside you, Jonathan. I think it's a really sensible approach.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:38 I always get the flu jab, but my COVID jab Hmm. Been done at Tesco.

William Hanson 0:03:46 Every little helps.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:50 Yeah, yeah.

William Hanson 0:03:53 Do Waitrose do them?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:54 I don't think they do. No. No, no. How much is your COVID jab? Do you know how much mine's costing?

William Hanson 0:03:59 I don't know, I haven't looked yet.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:00 90 quid my COVID jab's costing. 90 quid.

William Hanson 0:04:04 And flu jab's like 14 or something, isn't it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:06 Something cheap, yeah. The flu jab's much cheaper. But honestly, 90 quid, but it's worth it.

William Hanson 0:04:11 It's worth it to not be out of action.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:13 We— because we— not only do you have your Titanic, we've got Luxury Live.

William Hanson 0:04:18 Indeed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:18 I refuse to be full of a virus. I absolutely refuse.

William Hanson 0:04:22 And you're going up north.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:24 And I'm going up north.

William Hanson 0:04:25 So you need— and it's also as a courtesy to other people as well.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:28 Quite. Yes, exactly. So it's money well spent.

William Hanson 0:04:31 Talking of Luxury Live, I believe you're off to, uh, one of my preferred Outfitters for a better class of gentlemen.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:38 Cordings of Piccadilly.

William Hanson 0:04:40 Cordings of Piccadilly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:40 I'm going there to try an array of outfits on for Luxury Lives.

William Hanson 0:04:44 I was in there a few weeks ago getting a few other things for various things, and Calvin and I were having great amusement at what we could potentially put you in.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:52 Now, have you got any ideas for what I should wear?

William Hanson 0:04:55 He says he has. And actually, I then was running late, and actually, by the time I had finished being fitted in my stuff, not for Luxury Life, for other stuff. He didn't have time to show me, but I did say to him he should actually pick out something that clearly he's not going to put you in, but in all seriousness suggest you wear, just to see the look on your face.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:14 You're sadistic with your humour. Your whole humour is all about winding me up. I want something— I think I want something that's country chic.

William Hanson 0:05:23 Right, we're doing London, and we're doing Walthamstow. Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:27 Yes.

William Hanson 0:05:28 And city centre Manchester.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:30 Yes. I'm from Hertfordshire. Have I told you?

William Hanson 0:05:34 Are you thinking of—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:34 I live in the countryside.

William Hanson 0:05:35 His next use post-luxury life.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:38 I live in the countryside in Hertfordshire. So I think I should wear something country chic.

William Hanson 0:05:44 Right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:45 Don't you?

William Hanson 0:05:45 Well, all I'll say is, you've seen what I'm in. We can't both be in—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:49 Are you gonna wear that?

William Hanson 0:05:50 Yes. Calvin thinks it's lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:52 But is he gonna put me in something that's going to complement it? Or am I going to look like some village yokel?

William Hanson 0:06:00 If you go with what you're thinking.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:01 Rocking up.

Speaker G 0:06:02 Are you wearing the jumper?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:04 Yeah, he's wearing that jumper.

William Hanson 0:06:06 It's not just a jumper.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:07 It's a hoodie, isn't it?

William Hanson 0:06:08 It's not a hoodie, Sadie.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:10 It's like he's ram-raided Julie and Clare's wardrobe. And then I'm gonna come out looking like I've just, you know, emerged from the bullen bush. Can you imagine? Supposed to come out looking, you know, luxury chic. Yeah. You should look city chic, and I should come out country chic. Here we are, chic. Whereas you're going to come out looking like—

William Hanson 0:06:34 I'm putting a tie on.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:36 Just done a twirl in Soho.

William Hanson 0:06:38 I probably have.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:44 Anyway.

William Hanson 0:06:44 Oh, I love my 30s.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:47 Well, hopefully Kelvin will make me look devilish.

William Hanson 0:06:52 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:52 I hope so. I love high heels.

William Hanson 0:06:54 Feel free to run pictures past me when you're there in the shop. What, so you can laugh? No, just so I can, you know, approve.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:03 When I go there, can I take my dogs? Is it the kind of shop you can take dogs?

William Hanson 0:07:07 It might be, actually.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:08 Is it? Because—

William Hanson 0:07:10 I don't know if it is. Are you going on a Saturday?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:11 No, Sunday. I'm going on a Sunday.

William Hanson 0:07:13 They're opening on a Sunday for you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:14 Yes, they're coming, they're opening, and Calvin's—

William Hanson 0:07:17 I think they do open on Sunday.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:18 Calvin's coming in specifically for me on Sunday.

William Hanson 0:07:21 That's very kind of him, because he does not live in London.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:23 I know he doesn't. Neither do I.

William Hanson 0:07:25 No, but he lives further away from London than you do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:27 Well, that's true, but I'm very grateful to him. But do you think I can take my girls?

William Hanson 0:07:32 Yeah. Well, I'm saying yes. Ask them. I don't know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:35 I'll ask him.

William Hanson 0:07:36 Don't— or Google whether it's dog-friendly. I mean, they do things, you know, hunt and shoot and fish and that sort of thing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:41 Exactly.

William Hanson 0:07:41 So, I would— I think it's likely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:43 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:07:44 And your dogs are immaculately behaved.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:46 Well, they are, although— bit of a sore point, actually, that. You know, while we were away in Frigg, Betty ate the skirting boards again. Not once, but twice. She's done both sides of the room now.

William Hanson 0:08:01 Well, at least it matches.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:02 Well, there is that. So, when I returned home, there was me, elbow deep in Ron Seal.

William Hanson 0:08:08 Does Mrs. Seal know?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:32 But I've managed to repair it, and you'd hardly know.

William Hanson 0:08:35 Good.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:36 Yeah. And now I'm daily spritzing them with bitter apple. I spoke to my expert dog trainer, Expert dog trainer to the stars. And, uh, he— you'll have to beat this, but he said, uh, oh yeah, I'll tell you what you want to do, because it talks like that. He said, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, smear it in fucking Tabasco. She won't do it again then.

William Hanson 0:09:02 Have you done that?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:03 No, I haven't.

William Hanson 0:09:04 You've just done bitter apple?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:05 I'm spritzing it with bitter apple, which I gather does not taste nice.

William Hanson 0:09:09 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:10 And so far so good, although she's back in the crate. She's breaking the record.

William Hanson 0:09:15 Bit old for that, isn't she?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:16 She is too old for that, but I refuse to let her ruin my home. I've worked hard for that home, and I'm not going to allow a Labrador to destroy it. No. Sorry, call me old-fashioned, but there you have it.

William Hanson 0:09:25 Yes. Little update in the other running saga on my air conditioning.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:30 Oh yes, now what's going on? Are you being installed yet?

William Hanson 0:09:32 I reached out to Chilly Room Charlie and Cool It Down Kev a couple of days ago, and they actually tried to phone me yesterday. I couldn't speak, so I phoned them back. Literally, 10 minutes before you arrived today.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:44 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:09:44 And the good news is—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:46 Yeah?

William Hanson 0:09:46 It's winter, so I won't need it. Probably January.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:50 Are you joking?

William Hanson 0:09:51 I'm not joking.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:52 Why the delay now?

William Hanson 0:09:54 Well, because there's still nothing.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:56 Still can't get the air conditioning yet? Goodness' sake.

William Hanson 0:09:59 But I will be honest, one of my colleagues has got someone coming round to quote.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:04 And can they get it?

William Hanson 0:10:06 Well, that's what I've said. I've said, if you can get it, I want it. So if— as long as it's— I can't say it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:13 Mitsubishi?

William Hanson 0:10:13 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:14 You want Mitsubishi Electric?

William Hanson 0:10:15 Ideally. Well, if you've got that, I can't have a lesser product.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:22 I wouldn't hear the end of it. You are so funny. Oh, I thought you were going to go for the lesser one.

William Hanson 0:10:30 Well, that was only when we couldn't find the other one. But on the basis that they're all now out of stock, I might as well wait for the premium model.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:36 I wanted you to have the inferior model.

William Hanson 0:10:39 No, because I'm going to have the superior model, and I'm going to have many more units than you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:44 Oh.

William Hanson 0:10:44 Because presumably you're on a backorder for your downstairs.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:50 Yes.

William Hanson 0:10:50 Yeah. So you can't get it either.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:52 And my dad, he's having a couple of units fitted as well.

William Hanson 0:10:56 Well, if he gets units before me, there will be trouble.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:59 Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've heard nothing about my downstairs.

William Hanson 0:11:03 That's not what Mr. Seal said.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:14 Oh, well, William, it will be what it will be.

William Hanson 0:11:17 I know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:17 I mean, the good news is, as you say, we certainly don't need aircon now.

William Hanson 0:11:22 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:22 The weather's turned, and it's cold.

William Hanson 0:11:25 And I did say to Charlie, I said, as long as I get it by next summer, we're fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:29 But I, having said that, I have been using my aircon every night. But not for the aircon.

William Hanson 0:11:36 For the heat pump?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:37 No.

William Hanson 0:11:37 I know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:38 I have the fan on, on it.

William Hanson 0:11:40 Why?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:40 Because I like a little cool blast over me.

William Hanson 0:11:43 Oh, okay, well fine. At night.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:45 I like a little breeze.

William Hanson 0:11:46 And it is really quiet. Oh,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:48 it's absolutely—

William Hanson 0:11:49 Can you send me a video? I mean, turn off all your other white noise machines.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:52 How many times do I have to send you videos of things? You always say, oh, can you send me a video of your silent air conditioner?

William Hanson 0:11:58 Oh, the other thing. You know, we were thinking temporarily of having— you know, your sort of film man for the windows?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:05 Oh yes.

William Hanson 0:12:05 Yeah. And I was thinking of having our sort of bifolds out the back covered

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:10 with a heat-resistant

William Hanson 0:12:12 film. Yeah, as a stopgap. But he sent some samples; they were too dark. In fact, I actually must— Siri, remind me in 75 minutes, windows.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:24 Don't mind us, will you?

William Hanson 0:12:28 No, no, because I'm going away tomorrow, so I need to send him a picture of my skylights. I'm going to have it done in my office.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:34 Oh, right.

William Hanson 0:12:35 I'm going to have my skylights covered because it gets so hot up there.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:38 Right.

William Hanson 0:12:38 So, even in the winter. So, having originally said no to him, I then went back and went, actually, yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:44 It was going to be too dark?

William Hanson 0:12:46 It was going to be too dark on the bifolds. You would see it. I wanted something that— because it's something, you know, it's a big expanse of glass. So, no, I decided no. We'll wait for the AC.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:56 I did have— do you remember in my flat in St Albans, I had the— do you remember my living room had those big windows? And I had the glass there. I had the whole glass panels replaced with, um, UV-repelling glass, and you couldn't tell that that was there.

William Hanson 0:13:14 Oh, really?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:14 Yeah, but that was quite good at keeping out some of the heat.

William Hanson 0:13:16 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:17 Maybe you could try that, although that would be expensive.

William Hanson 0:13:19 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:19 You have all of the bifolds.

William Hanson 0:13:21 I'll just wait for the AC to go in.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:23 Yeah, maybe.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:21 Welcome back, Bucketheads. We're going to read your questions now, so let's dive into our heaving bags of post. If there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, always remember, night or day—

William Hanson 0:15:32 We're here.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:33 24 hours a day, in fact, we're always here for you. postman@luxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions. And a reminder, you can always watch these episodes on Patreon If you join our Luxury Members Club, just head over to luxurypodcast.co.uk to join.

William Hanson 0:15:50 This first one is from Matthew. G'day, William and Jonathan. Oh, do you think he's Australian?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:55 I think he just might be, yeah.

William Hanson 0:15:57 I'm a UK expat living down under. I work in a busy office with a large amount of perimenopausal women. There is some—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:05 I'm saying nothing.

William Hanson 0:16:15 There is so much discussion on the subject that I'm now receiving targeted ads on my phone advising me to rush to my GP and discuss my own perimenopausal symptoms. Is there a luxury way in which an executive homosexual such as myself could offer support to a woman of a certain age going through this tumultuous time? Thoroughly enjoying hearing all about your journey to frig. I do hope you have recovered from the persistent cock. Keep up the good work. Matthew from Canberra, Australia.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:38 I'm actually, in all seriousness, I am— I'm lovely when it comes to the menopause. I've got— what? Why?

William Hanson 0:16:46 Can I endorse you on LinkedIn for that?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:47 No, but I am genuinely— I'm very, very sympathetic to women who are going through the menopause and are perimenopausal. I'm very, very sympathetic because—

William Hanson 0:16:56 And for those of us that are a bit thick about the menopause,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:59 right,

William Hanson 0:16:59 perimenopausal is like pre—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:01 It's the buildup,

William Hanson 0:17:02 okay,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:02 to the actual crescendo.

William Hanson 0:17:04 And is there postmenopausal? Or do you just fall?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:07 Probably, but that's probably not so bad because that's when it's tailing off a bit, isn't it? But, um, no, I mean, my, my own mother really suffered with the menopause, and it's horrible. You know, a lot of the symptoms that women have to cope with with the menopause are awful. So I'm very sympathetic. So I think, Matthew, you just need to be a bit more kind.

William Hanson 0:17:24 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:25 You know, and remember, listen, they're going through— they're going through terrible hormonal changes.

William Hanson 0:17:30 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:30 Be there for them. Put the kettle on. Always be there, a shoulder to cry on, and there'll be lots of tears. Trust me, I know. I'm saying nothing. Daria has been in touch, William.

William Hanson 0:17:45 Oh, Daria!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:46 Daria, where have you been? Dear Jonathan and William, as Luxury Live 2.0 is fast approaching, I've already secured my flights from Ireland and have booked my executive accommodation in London. Now I'm trying to figure out how I make the most of my 3 days there. I've already visited many of London's main attractions, so I'm considering— oh, hang on a minute.

William Hanson 0:18:09 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:09 I'm considering exploring somewhere outside the city. Are there any day trip destinations you would recommend? Bath, Oxford, Hertfordshire, or perhaps somewhere else? Alternatively, are there any lesser-known spots in London that are absolutely worth discovering and tend to fly under the radar? I can't wait to see everyone in person again. In fact, I recently had a rather funny dream about the live show, which somehow also involved Jordan.

William Hanson 0:18:40 Gosh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:41 She doesn't elaborate on what the dream involved. Use your imagination. Warmest regards, Daria. P.S., will the Soho Theatre be a bit warmer than the previous venue? I won't lie, I was feeling rather chilly last time. Fear not, this venue is going to be very different.

William Hanson 0:19:00 What I'm most excited about— we'll come on to your question in a minute, Dario— what I'm most excited about with the Bucketheads that have been to either the Keeping Up Appearances live show we did, or Luxury Life 1.0, I think we have to call it now, is when they have a little stagger backwards at how lovely both our venues are this year.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:19 Yes.

William Hanson 0:19:19 Really nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:20 Very, very nice.

William Hanson 0:19:21 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:22 You won't be disappointed.

William Hanson 0:19:23 It's such an upgrade.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:24 Proper luxury theatres. Proper comfortable chairs. Proper luxury bars.

William Hanson 0:19:30 Rakes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:31 Proper toilets.

William Hanson 0:19:32 Exactly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:33 Or lavatories.

William Hanson 0:19:33 Toilets, plural.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:34 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:19:35 As opposed to one.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:36 Absolutely. No, it's going to be a very different kettle of fish. Well, can I do my sales pitch for Heartfordshire, Daria? Oh. What do you mean, oh? Well, Daria wants to go somewhere different she hasn't been, and I've got the perfect place for you, Daria.

William Hanson 0:19:50 Harpenden.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:51 No, well—

William Hanson 0:19:52 Berkhamsted.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:52 Well, well—

William Hanson 0:19:53 Wheathamsted.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:55 Well, no, come on. Now, I would strongly advise St Albans.

William Hanson 0:20:00 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:01 I think St Albans is a nice place to do. In fact, Rodrigo's come out, aren't you, Rodrigo? Sí. So, uh, I'm going to show Rodrigo all the sights.

William Hanson 0:20:08 Oh, nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:09 Yes.

William Hanson 0:20:10 You're going to take him up Verulamium Park?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:11 I'm going to take him up everywhere. You name it, I'm going to take him up it. And we're— it's a good place to do for a day. There's plenty to see. There's the beautiful cathedral, nice spots to have some lunch. It's quaint. It's nice.

William Hanson 0:20:25 It is nice, yeah. Okay, St Albans is a nice idea. Bath, gorgeous. And also—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:31 Far away though.

William Hanson 0:20:32 What? On the train, it's about— from central London, it's about an hour and 5 minutes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:37 Oh yeah, St Albans, 20 minutes.

William Hanson 0:20:38 Okay, well, depends where she is. But what I would say is good with Bath, because presumably you are coming to the London show, that's a Sunday night. Bath gets very busy at the weekend with tourists. So I don't know when you're flying out, But if you can go to Bath— and I grew up in Bristol, so I know Bath quite well— Monday morning, 10 o'clock, when everything has just opened, lovely. No tourists.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:02 Peaceful and quiet.

William Hanson 0:21:03 Calm, quiet. You can experience Bath like a local. So that would be my suggestion.

William Hanson 0:21:08 Don't do Bath on a Saturday. Don't do Bath on a Sunday. The other part of London, the other thing I like— Mikey and I got into doing this a lot during COVID— is walking around the City of London of a weekend. Because it's all dead. Yeah, it's lovely.

William Hanson 0:21:21 There are a few places that are open, some hotels you can go in for breakfast or a coffee, but you can see all the nice architecture, the old and the new. Even around here, Farringdon and sort of Chancery Lane area, it's quite oldie-worldie. It's not very touristy. I think sometimes people forget about this part of London when it comes to the tourist route.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:40 Yes. Or alternatively, St Albans. Max been in touch. Do you want to read it?

William Hanson 0:21:48 Oh yeah, okay. It's me, isn't it?

William Hanson 0:21:50 Dear Jonathan and William, every now and again, I walk downstairs to a rancid and deeply antisocial smell. The smell of my mother eating a bowl of some variety of fruit mixed with some foul-smelling cottage cheese. This evil lumpy mess— I presume that's the bowl, not his mother. We're not talking about William's luxury lumpy cucumbers here. It's almost as unpleasant to look at as it is to smell.

William Hanson 0:22:10 Moreover, I very much struggle to believe that it tastes better than it looks. The thing is, it's become very trendy now to add cottage cheese to everything for extra protein, so I can't escape it. So, Gentlemen, I'd like to hear your thoughts and sincerely hope that neither of you are eaters of this beastly cheese. Yours sincerely,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:24 Mac. I'm with you, Mac.

William Hanson 0:22:25 Well, I have eaten cottage cheese, but I can't remember the last time.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:28 Oh, it's a grotesque, lumpy, creamy muck.

William Hanson 0:22:33 I'm gonna freak a few people out here. The last cottage cheese I ate, which I quite liked, had pineapple in it as well.

Speaker G 0:22:40 That's very trendy.

William Hanson 0:22:42 Is it trendy?

Speaker C 0:22:43 That is, yeah.

William Hanson 0:22:44 I'm a trendsetter.

Speaker G 0:22:45 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:22:45 So, yeah, I mean, just say to your mum, look, when you're— I'll just like go and time your shower or, you know, leaving the house or something. But I don't know, Mac, if it's your house or it's your mother's house or what the arrangement is, but if it's your mother's house, there's not a lot you can do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:01 My late mother used to like cottage cheese on a jacket potato.

William Hanson 0:23:05 Ooh, I bet you that's nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:07 Oh, she used to kind of— I remember she'd get a jacket potato and she'd Squeeze it open and then put all this cottage cheese on the top.

William Hanson 0:23:15 A bit of butter as well.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:17 Butter's nice.

William Hanson 0:23:19 Yeah, yeah, butter and then cottage cheese.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:21 Don't you think cottage cheese tastes a bit off? Kind of tastes a bit off, doesn't it?

William Hanson 0:23:25 Again, it's been a long time. Now I've got a hankering for cottage cheese. Sorry, Mac, if you're now judging us.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:30 Well, I'm with you, Mac. Chris has been in touch, William. He says— or she, is it a Chris, a he or she?

William Hanson 0:23:37 I think Statistically, it's a man.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:40 It's— well, okay. Dear Luxury Podcast, I'm tearing my hair out. I need to mop my wood.

William Hanson 0:23:47 Gay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:48 Can you recommend an executive mop? Also—

William Hanson 0:23:53 Definitely a gay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:53 How is it best to get curry stains out of kitchen worktops that aren't Angel Gabriel Blue?

William Hanson 0:24:00 Confirmed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:01 I've got the answer for that. Many thanks, Chrissy Nichols of Sheffield.

William Hanson 0:24:06 Executive mop. Well, you know I'm a great believer in the Dyson Wash G1, which my friend Harry got me into. But that's more— that's not an everyday mop.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:12 That's not a mop though, is it?

William Hanson 0:24:13 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:14 That's a luxury floor cleaning system.

William Hanson 0:24:15 It's a lifestyle. Day to day, I use the Addis spray mop.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:19 Oh, do you?

William Hanson 0:24:20 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:20 Have you— did you ever get that spin mop I told you to get?

William Hanson 0:24:23 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:23 Oh, I love my spin mop. My Vileda.

William Hanson 0:24:27 Is that Addis? No, it's Vileda. Vileda.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:30 It's a Vileda, and it's the one with— I can't remember what it's called, but it's got the clean water tank.

William Hanson 0:24:35 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:35 So you're never dipping your mop in dirty water.

William Hanson 0:24:38 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:38 Because I think that's very unpleasant. So you've got a nice clean water container, and then you put your mop in the clean water, and then you spin it like a salad spinner, and then you mop your floor. I like that.

William Hanson 0:24:48 Nice. Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:49 And you can use a variety of beautiful Spanish products on the floor to bring that villa smell to your home.

William Hanson 0:24:55 Gorge.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:55 In terms of curry stains, Cif.

William Hanson 0:24:57 Yeah, or the pink stuff.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:59 Or the pink stuff. But Cif, or I use— I always use that if I get a bit of curry staining on my white quartz worktop. Bit of Cif gets it out.

William Hanson 0:25:09 Lemon or the plain?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:11 Uh, I don't think it really matters.

William Hanson 0:25:12 No, no, no, I'm just asking your preference.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:14 I prefer lemon.

William Hanson 0:25:15 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:16 Might have the lemon. What do you go for?

William Hanson 0:25:18 I have both, actually. I use the white one for the sink, and I use the Cif for everything else. The yellow Cif.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:23 There you go. So, hope that helps, Chris.

William Hanson 0:25:26 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:27 Well, haven't we been helpful?

William Hanson 0:25:28 We've been so helpful. I'm exhausted from how helpful we've been. I know. We'll leave it there for now.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:31 We We will be back next Wednesday. Now, we might be discussing Halloween.

William Hanson 0:25:37 Or we might not.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:39 Or we might not. Who knows?

William Hanson 0:25:41 We've done Halloween before, but we thought we might give it another go.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:44 Yes, put the willies up you all over again.

William Hanson 0:25:47 Exactly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:48 But for now, goodbye!