Fantasy Dinner Party

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:01 Hello, and welcome to The Luxury Podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon-Smith, and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life.

William Hanson 0:02:24 Hello, Jonathan and I are here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living, whatever your budget.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:29 In each episode of The Luxury Podcast, William and I tackle an area of life that we think you should upgrade, sorting the Ons Lows from the Hyacinths, advising the nation in gracious living. So William, what are we going to talk about today?

William Hanson 0:02:43 Well, pull up a seat, we are talking about our fantasy dinner parties.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:48 If you could host any dinner party with any selection of guests, what would it be, and who would it be for?

William Hanson 0:02:54 Yes, which is a topic I feel I've answered before many times, not necessarily on this podcast, although maybe on this podcast. I'm going to go in a different direction.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:04 Go on.

William Hanson 0:03:04 Because I would probably have previously said, and I'll be honest, this is who I would invite, but I'm going to go in a different direction for this dinner party.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:13 Interesting.

William Hanson 0:03:14 I would invite Dame Patricia, just to say she's been, really.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:18 Right.

William Hanson 0:03:19 I would have invited the late—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:20 I think she'd be quite hard work.

William Hanson 0:03:22 Potentially, but I'd have fun. And the late Barry Humphries, I would also— Oh yeah, he would have been fantastic. So, I'm not going to say those. I'm ruling those people out.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:33 Okay.

William Hanson 0:03:33 Of my— and probably I would have said Shawn Mendes, just for something to look at. So, I'm going to take them out of it. So, we'll come on to who I'm going to invite in a minute, but I'm just saying, for those that maybe have heard me talk about this before, I'm not going to talk about that. You're shaking it up. Yeah, plus ça change. And as we'll see, I've gone in a very different direction.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:50 Have you?

William Hanson 0:03:51 No, but we'll get there.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:56 Okay.

William Hanson 0:03:56 Um, first of all, we should say, where are we hosting this? Each of us, we're doing a different dinner party each. We're not— this isn't a shared one. Yes?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:04 Uh, different dinner party.

William Hanson 0:04:06 Okay, fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:07 Although maybe we can combine our ideal combined dinner party later.

William Hanson 0:04:12 Yeah. Where are you hosting it? You can host it anywhere in the world. It doesn't have to be your own house.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:16 Frigiliana.

William Hanson 0:04:17 Of course you are.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:18 I'm hosting it in Frigiliana.

William Hanson 0:04:19 You're shaking it up too.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:21 And I've decided—

William Hanson 0:04:22 Yes?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:23 To get caterers in. I've got caterers in.

William Hanson 0:04:26 So we're not having chicken basque?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:27 We are— Well, we might. We might.

William Hanson 0:04:31 You can't have caterers and then do chicken basque.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:34 Why not? What's wrong with chicken basque?

William Hanson 0:04:36 Nothing!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:37 Well, there clearly is.

William Hanson 0:04:39 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:39 It all comes out, doesn't it, on this podcast?

William Hanson 0:04:41 We love chicken basque. Do you know, Mikey and I have not done chicken basque enough this year. I don't think we've done it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:46 All right.

William Hanson 0:04:47 I might do it on Sunday, actually.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:48 I remember years ago, I was in Spain.

William Hanson 0:04:52 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:52 And I went to— I went to my agent's house for a soiree. And, uh, as I arrived, uh, he'd arranged caterers to do the dinner.

William Hanson 0:05:03 Fantastic.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:04 And as I arrived, he was in the pool. He had a big kind of inflatable lilo thing around him. And as I arrived, he said, Jonathan, do you eat fish? And I said, no, no, Michael, I don't. Oh my God, he doesn't eat fish! Anyway, he's then on the phone to the caterers. He's having to change the dish 'cause they were doing a big fish dish with caterers. But it was wonderful. It was a wonderful experience because they were just having the time of their life. And then this catering team turned up and just started whipping up a spesh.

William Hanson 0:05:37 That's fantastic.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:38 That's fantastic. And in the sunshine, in the balmy Spanish sunshine, Lovely place to host a soiree. Yeah, that sounds lovely. So, yeah, my dinner party would be in Frigg, and I'd have my guests arrive. I'd probably go for— I'd probably go for a 7 PM start.

William Hanson 0:05:56 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:57 I'd say, come for 7, we'll have drinks by the pool, and I'd like to have a little trio on the Spanish guitar.

William Hanson 0:06:07 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:07 Playing some live Spanish, my very own The Gypsy Kings. And as the evening progresses, they'll heat it up. And by the end of the night, we'll have a bit of La Bamba, we'll have a bit of Bombaleo.

William Hanson 0:06:21 Is that a euphemism?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:23 You name it, we'll be doing all of that. But to start with, just some gentle kind of Spanish music. Drinks by the pool.

William Hanson 0:06:30 What drinks? What are you offering?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:32 Anything you want.

William Hanson 0:06:33 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:34 Why, are you going to dictate to your guests what they're allowed to drink?

William Hanson 0:06:37 Yep.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:38 Of course you are.

William Hanson 0:06:39 Just in the interests of a fun episode.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:41 What are you going to tell your guests they have to drink? Oh, where is your dinner party going to be?

William Hanson 0:06:45 Private dining room or at home. I'd be fine with it at home, actually.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:49 You've got a beautiful home.

William Hanson 0:06:50 Thank you. But if I had to not do it at home, some terrible accident happens with home, a private dining room somewhere in central London.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:58 Okay.

William Hanson 0:06:59 But I probably would cater myself. Would you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:02 No.

William Hanson 0:07:02 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:03 It's a fantasy dinner party. Yeah, you get caterers.

William Hanson 0:07:06 And especially if I'm inviting these guests, I want to spend all the time with them.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:09 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:07:10 To the point where they're sick of me. I don't want to be—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:12 You've got caterers in for your housewarming party. You're not going to have your fantasy dinner party and cook yourself, are you?

William Hanson 0:07:19 No, true.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:21 Yeah. So, so, oh, well, I think it should be in your home.

William Hanson 0:07:24 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:25 Because I think if you invite people to a dining room in London, yeah, I mean, might as well just take them out to a restaurant. What's the point?

William Hanson 0:07:32 Well, because it's private.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:35 Yeah, but there are restaurants you could hire a private room in. So, I think if it's going to be a dinner party, it's got to be somewhere that's special to you.

William Hanson 0:07:42 Okay, fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:43 So, it's either got to be your home or your favourite holiday home.

William Hanson 0:07:48 But I don't have a holiday home, so— or a favourite holiday home. Not yet. Not yet. No, no, no. Not yet.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:54 We may, when we go to Frigg, just happen to walk past a couple of estate agents.

William Hanson 0:08:01 Mikey wants to move to Northumberland. He's been going on about it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:04 Oh, what?

William Hanson 0:08:05 Yeah, quite. That's what I've said.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:06 Why would you want to do that? Oh, he likes the cold weather, doesn't he?

William Hanson 0:08:09 He does, yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:11 Right.

William Hanson 0:08:11 Anyway, so I don't think I can swing Frigg.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:14 Right.

William Hanson 0:08:15 Apparently our next home is going to be in Northumberland.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:17 Oh gosh.

William Hanson 0:08:18 I'm not looking for another home. I just want to make that perfectly clear.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:21 Don't panic.

William Hanson 0:08:22 We're not going to be recording remotely from the coast to Annick.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:26 But I think we could buy a villa together in Frigg.

William Hanson 0:08:29 Oh, we could be like the Temu version of Alan and Amanda.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:33 It would be almost a luxury timeshare situation where we have our weeks of the year and we can go.

William Hanson 0:08:41 You can have more than me.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:43 Why? You don't want to go?

William Hanson 0:08:45 No, no, I'll just be busy. So, what are you serving your guests?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:53 Mm, for munchettes?

William Hanson 0:08:55 No, to drink. If you have to pick one drink that they will drink.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:59 Oh, well, uh, well, probably, probably wine.

William Hanson 0:09:05 Red or white or rosé or orange?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:08 I think rosé for Frigg.

William Hanson 0:09:09 Rosé for Frigg.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:10 I think if you served a beautiful chilled rosé to your guests, I can't imagine very many of them would say, ugh, no.

William Hanson 0:09:17 I'd like red though when I come, please.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:19 Okay.

William Hanson 0:09:19 I'm not wild about rosé.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:20 No, I like red too.

William Hanson 0:09:22 Okay, fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:22 Yeah, yeah, always red.

William Hanson 0:09:24 Okay, fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:24 In any temperature, I like red wine.

William Hanson 0:09:27 I will start with the martini reception.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:29 Okay.

William Hanson 0:09:30 And I will make the martinis for the guests. That will be my contribution, especially if I'm not having caterers. And I'll make them to their preference, you know, if they want it wetter or drier, that's fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:39 Will you not have a little barman?

William Hanson 0:09:41 No, no, I can do that myself. I may have the caterer going around with water. Offering that. Yeah, maybe some nibbles.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:48 And are you having any music?

William Hanson 0:09:51 Subtly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:52 Right. Maybe a lady on a harp?

William Hanson 0:09:55 No, I think I'd just do a speaker.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:57 A speaker? Gosh.

William Hanson 0:10:01 I don't want a lady on a harp.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:02 So far, your dinner party does not sound as luxury as mine. I've got the Gypsy Kings.

William Hanson 0:10:08 I'll have the Gypsy Queens.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:09 Right. Okay. All right, so we're a little bit of live music.

William Hanson 0:10:16 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:16 You're serving your martinis.

William Hanson 0:10:18 Yep.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:19 And then—

William Hanson 0:10:19 And then we go through to dinner.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:21 Then we sit down. Yes.

William Hanson 0:10:22 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:23 Yes. And I think as— so I will have the table underneath the grapevines.

William Hanson 0:10:29 Oh, nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:30 Because outside the villa, there's lovely grapes, bunches of grapes all hanging.

William Hanson 0:10:35 Lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:35 So, I think I'll lay the table there, and everyone will sit down, and we'll be laughing, Oh, we haven't said who we've invited.

William Hanson 0:10:44 No, but I think we should do the food and then come on to the guest list. Oh, okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:48 4 for food, as it's a fantasy dinner party.

William Hanson 0:10:52 Yeah, you've got 3 courses.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:54 Oh, really? Oh, God. Why? What do you want, 7? Well, yeah, I've never—

William Hanson 0:11:00 You've got to do a first course.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:01 Oh, God.

William Hanson 0:11:02 Come on.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:02 Okay, well—

William Hanson 0:11:03 If you're going to have your dream guest list, you want them there for as long as possible.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:06 Okay. So, we've got a little starter. Well, I mean, I love simple starters.

William Hanson 0:11:15 Same.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:17 I love pâté.

William Hanson 0:11:18 Oh, very simple.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:21 I love bruschetta.

William Hanson 0:11:23 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:24 So, maybe pâté and bruschetta.

William Hanson 0:11:28 And you turned your nose up at me having a speaker.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:35 Yeah, but it's alfresco in Spain. You don't want anything heavy.

William Hanson 0:11:41 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:42 And you haven't heard my main course yet.

William Hanson 0:11:44 Okay, we'll go on to that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:46 You don't want anything that's going to be too filling. What would you have for your starter?

William Hanson 0:11:49 Depending on time of year, but I'm going to pretend I'm doing it now in the summer.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:54 Height of summer.

William Hanson 0:11:55 Melon and Parma ham. I think it's just so nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:58 And you like— you turn your nose up at my pâté and bruschetta?

William Hanson 0:12:03 I love melon and Parma ham.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:04 So do I, but it's very 1970s, isn't it? That's why you like it. Yeah.

William Hanson 0:12:13 Maybe with a burrata as well.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:15 Oh, burrata.

William Hanson 0:12:17 Burrata with beautiful, ripe, deep red cherry tomatoes, half cut with a little bit of balsamic glaze.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:24 Why are you calling it burrata? By the way, can we just have our little pronunciation conversation? You know the way when we did our potatoes episode the other day, and you Repeatedly picked me up on my various— you were in one of your snobbiest moods, Dave.

William Hanson 0:12:40 Was I?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:40 And when I said potato dauphinois, you went, oh, sorry, did you just say dauphinois? I think you mean dauphinois. You said, I was quite correct. It's potato dauphinois. It's not dauphinois.

William Hanson 0:12:54 Says who? It's named after the Dauphin of France, who was a French prince.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:58 It's potato dauphinois? Dauphinois.

William Hanson 0:13:00 How'd you spell dauphinois? Dauphinois.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:03 Potato dauphinois.

William Hanson 0:13:04 Yeah, yeah. Dauphinois pronunciation.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:07 Here we go.

William Hanson 0:13:08 Right, this is the British pronunciation. It's the—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:10 well, dauphinois. Well, if you're going to pronounce it like, you know, yeah, the American dauphinois.

William Hanson 0:13:19 Yeah, dauphinois. All right, here we go.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:21 How about the French? Because it is a French word.

Speaker F 0:13:25 I think this guy knows. French pronunciation videos here on YouTube, and we are looking at how to pronounce the name of of this traditional French dish made of sliced potatoes baked in milk or cream from the Dauphiné region in southeastern France. This is sometimes referred to in French as gratin dauphinois.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:42 Dauphinois?

Speaker F 0:13:43 In English, it's generally called Dauphinois potatoes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:46 Dauphinois? Not dauphinois? Potato dauphinois?

William Hanson 0:13:50 No, you— Sadie. Gratin pommes dauphinois. Is what I said. You said dauphinois.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:58 Potato dauphinois?

William Hanson 0:13:59 No, you are absolutely back to childhood. No, it's potato dauphinois. It's not dauphinois!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:06 Make him do it again.

Speaker F 0:14:08 Dauphinois.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:09 He's not saying dauphinois, is he? Like a dolphin?

Speaker G 0:14:13 Potatoes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:14 Potatoes. He's quite nice, isn't he? I'm going to just find one other—

William Hanson 0:14:22 There.

Speaker H 0:14:22 Dauphinoise. Dauphinoise.

William Hanson 0:14:27 Dauphinoise. Dauphine. Do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:30 Dauphinoise.

William Hanson 0:14:32 I was laughing— shut up.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:34 Dauphinoise.

William Hanson 0:14:35 I was laughing at you going, Dauphinoise potatoes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:38 Anyway, what were we talking about? What was the pronunciation? Oh yes, why are you calling it barata?

William Hanson 0:14:46 I think that's how— oh god, here we go. Alright, let's find an Italian saying barata, shall we?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:51 Barata.

William Hanson 0:14:55 How do you say it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:55 Rodrigo! Burrata. Burrata.

Speaker F 0:14:58 Buongiorno. Oh, here we go.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:02 It's him again.

William Hanson 0:15:03 It is actually the same guy.

Speaker F 0:15:04 The name of this classic Italian cow milk cheese made from mozzarella and cream. The outer shell is solid mozzarella, while the inside contains stracciatella and cream, giving it an unusual soft texture.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:20 Burrata.

Speaker F 0:15:20 We are looking at how to pronounce burrata.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:23 Burrata, not burrata.

Speaker I 0:15:26 But would you roll your R in everyday conversation?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:29 No, I call it burrata.

William Hanson 0:15:30 Right. Well, I'm gonna have mozzarella.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:41 Anyway, so you're having your Parma ham.

William Hanson 0:15:44 Yes. Actually, no.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:46 Do you mean Parma?

William Hanson 0:15:48 Parma him. No, actually, I'm going to get rid of that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:55 Oh.

William Hanson 0:15:55 I'm going to have— I don't— I'm not a massive proponent of sharing, but I can cope with sharing first courses.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:02 Oh.

William Hanson 0:16:02 As long as everyone portions them out.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:04 Are you going to go for a— now every time I think of a name— Camembert? You're going for baked Camembert?

William Hanson 0:16:12 No, no, I'm going to go for the burrata.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:15 Burrata.

William Hanson 0:16:16 With the tomatoes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:17 Oh, I would have thought I thought you would've called it a Carmen Bear.

William Hanson 0:16:21 I'm going to have some meatballs.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:25 Ooh, look at you, you devil!

William Hanson 0:16:28 Yes, in a hot tomato sauce.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:29 For a starter?

William Hanson 0:16:30 Yeah, people can share. Bit of bread. Garlicky bread. Maybe one other. And people can just like, you know, help themselves. I think that's lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:39 Bits! You're putting bits on your table, aren't you?

William Hanson 0:16:42 I'm not putting my bits on the table.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:44 Now when we're sitting down to enjoy your lovely bitty starter, Cicchetti. Cicchetti. Uh, will you be serving wine at this point, or are we— Of course.

William Hanson 0:16:56 Right, okay. Red.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:57 Red, lovely.

William Hanson 0:16:59 Probably a Montepulciano.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:01 Italiano, lovely.

William Hanson 0:17:02 Yes, exactly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:03 Lovely. Okay, so you've got that. Um, I would— moving on to the, to the main course, I'm going to go steak.

William Hanson 0:17:11 Of course you are.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:12 I'm going to go steak.

William Hanson 0:17:14 Now, are you giving guests a preference, or are you Serving it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:18 Now, what I'm going to say to my guests, I'm going to get the caterers to come out with— have you ever been to a proper Argentinian steakhouse?

William Hanson 0:17:27 Oh, that one in Gerald's Cross, home of Argentinian cuisine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:31 Did they come out with the meat board? No. Well, uh, sometimes in an Argentinian restaurant, they come out with a big board, and it's got all the cuts of meat.

William Hanson 0:17:39 Oh yeah, I have been in restaurants like that before. Yeah. Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:42 So, I'm gonna have my caterers come out and go around and show everyone the board so they can select their cut of steak, and select how they want it done.

William Hanson 0:17:50 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:51 All right. And then it's going to be served with some lovely— maybe some Hasselback potatoes, um, small selection of vegetables, and a salad.

William Hanson 0:18:04 Oh, veg and a salad?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:05 Yes. And red wine. Just red wine.

William Hanson 0:18:09 Horseradish?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:09 No.

William Hanson 0:18:10 What? Oh, no. I presume I'm not animals.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:14 Oh, okay. No, if this is a quality steak, you can't have horseradish with a quality steak. That's what you cover muck up with. Okay, that's what you get some manky old bit of rump from the supermarket that curls up at the edges. That's what you coat that in to make it taste of something. So you're not looking very impressive at my dinner party so far.

William Hanson 0:18:37 Well, I'm hoping I'm not one of the guests.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:38 Right, why not? Well, so—

William Hanson 0:18:43 Pâté and steak?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:45 Steak? What's wrong with steak? It's delicious. And what sort of pâté?

William Hanson 0:18:50 Duck liver?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:50 Yes.

William Hanson 0:18:51 Yeah, okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:52 I think a nice duck liver. Duck à l'orange.

William Hanson 0:18:54 Duck à l'orange? No, you don't want duck à l'orange.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:58 You could get the duck à l'orange pâté, can't you?

William Hanson 0:19:00 Oh, can you?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:01 Yeah, with the orange kind of flavour.

William Hanson 0:19:02 I don't know what Lidl can do.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:09 So I'm going steak for the main, and it's all going to be cooked on a barbecue. Kamado. By— by my caterers. Okay?

William Hanson 0:19:22 Right, okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:23 What are we having for your main?

William Hanson 0:19:24 Well, similar to yours, but naturally elevated. Beef Wellington.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:29 Beef Wellington? Oh, I don't like that.

William Hanson 0:19:31 Why?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:32 Mushrooms.

William Hanson 0:19:32 Oh, even Mikey can do Beef Wellington.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:34 Oh no. Other than—

William Hanson 0:19:35 well, actually he can't, because he had it at New Year's a few years ago. My mother made it, and he threw up all night.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:43 Oh no! To the point where my father— my father had to phone 111. You have the cheek to attack my dinner soirée, and then you're gonna poison us all with your—

William Hanson 0:19:54 No, that was my mother.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:19:55 Oh.

William Hanson 0:19:56 Mine will be fine. And also, I'd like to say, the rest of us were fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:01 Right.

William Hanson 0:20:02 It just happened to Mikey, and my father had to phone 111.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:06 Poor Mikey.

William Hanson 0:20:08 Yeah, yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:09 Okay, so we've got that to look forward to. Will you be serving that with a little bit of potato dauphinoise? No, that goes very nicely with it. It does.

William Hanson 0:20:20 No, we are going to have gratin pomme dauphinoise, not dauphinoise.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:24 And, uh, maybe a little bit of asparagus?

William Hanson 0:20:27 Uh, yeah, well, if we're doing it this time of year, we're sort of out of asparagus season, aren't we? So probably not.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:33 Well, you can always get them from Morrison's.

William Hanson 0:20:34 Do I look like a Morrison's household? Um, no, I would have, um, tenderstem broccoli. No, that's not— leeks. I love a leek. Oh yeah, actually, do you know what? I'm not going to have gratin pommes dauphinoises. I'm going to have a more regular potato, less creamy and heavy, and I'm going to have a leek gratin.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:58 Oh, you devil!

William Hanson 0:20:59 Yes!

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:00 Nice.

William Hanson 0:21:00 I love a leek, Crasher. I love a leek.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:02 Well, I'm back on board. I guess I could scrape the manky old mushrooms off your beef.

William Hanson 0:21:07 No, they're so pureed into— Oh, horrible.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:11 Okay, so I'll scrape all of that off. I've got a mound of that at the side of the plate.

William Hanson 0:21:16 Before we do our puddings, maybe we talk about the guest list. Who are we having?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:22 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:21:23 Now, how many are we allowed, Sadie?

Speaker I 0:21:25 3.

William Hanson 0:21:25 3. So, it's a dinner party for 4.

Speaker I 0:21:27 Correct.

William Hanson 0:21:28 It's more of a long—

Speaker I 0:21:29 You can invite each other, I would say, but you can have 3 luxury guests.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:34 Oh, can we not have a few, um, of our, like, regular friends?

Speaker I 0:21:40 You can have the regulars, but 3 fantasy guests.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:43 Yeah, because I— there are a few of my kind of regular guests. I mean, I would have you there.

William Hanson 0:21:48 Oh, thanks.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:48 You and Mikey could be there because I'd like you to experience my guests.

William Hanson 0:21:52 Okay. Yeah, I have to say, when I was thinking about this, I actually thought— and this sounds really tried. But my actual fan— I know exactly who I'd have at a fantasy dinner party, and they're all friends. They're not necessarily famous people or anything like that. And I thought, no, I can't say that because that's really boring.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:08 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:22:08 And no one will know who they are.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:09 And anyway, this is a fantasy one, so we can stretch our imagination. It's not necessarily just, you know, who we'd actually like.

William Hanson 0:22:16 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:16 Who would you have then? Come on.

William Hanson 0:22:18 In position 1, I'd have the Queen Mother.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:23 Oh, how nice!

William Hanson 0:22:24 I think that'd be quite fun.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:25 Sober her up?

William Hanson 0:22:27 Yeah. No.

Speaker I 0:22:29 What era of the Queen Mother?

William Hanson 0:22:31 Oh, um, latter. Yeah, '80s or '90s.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:35 I bet she just absolutely gave up at the end. She didn't care.

William Hanson 0:22:39 Not when she was totally frail, right? No, no, you don't want her frail.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:42 No. But you want her where she doesn't care anymore.

William Hanson 0:22:45 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:46 You know, she's hitting the gin and she doesn't care what she says. Yeah.

William Hanson 0:22:50 Seated next to you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:51 Oh, I'd like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

William Hanson 0:22:53 Who are you having in position 1?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:55 In position 1, Miriam Margolyes.

William Hanson 0:22:57 Really?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:58 Yes. I think she would, um, keep everyone suitably entertained. I'm not sure she'd be luxury though, because she's quite a flatulent woman, and I can well imagine at one of my soirées her lifting one of her buttocks and squeezing one out just for comedy effect.

William Hanson 0:23:19 She can't do that in front of the Queen Mother at mine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:22 No, but I think she'd be quite a hoot.

William Hanson 0:23:24 Yeah, okay. Position 2 for me, Larry Grayson.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:30 Oh, shut that door!

William Hanson 0:23:32 Yes. Now, for those that don't know who Larry Grayson was, he presented— he was a comedian who latterly actually really rose to fame right at the end of his life almost, but he presented The Generation Game. He took over from Bruce Forsyth. Smith.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:45 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:23:45 And did various other things, and he'd be quite fun.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:48 I think that's a very nice idea.

William Hanson 0:23:51 And I think the Queen Mum would— the Queen Mum probably loved Larry Grayson's Generation game.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:55 I would imagine she would have done. And I think that's a nice combo so far. I like that.

William Hanson 0:24:00 Thank you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:01 My number 2 would be Kenneth Williams, because I can—

William Hanson 0:24:05 We are so similar.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:06 I do think that Kenneth Williams, again, he would give Miriam Margolyes a run for her money when it comes to stories.

William Hanson 0:24:13 They'd compete.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:14 They would compete, but they would also both be filthy. You know, some of the stories would be filthy, and I can imagine Kenneth Williams laughing his way through Miriam Margolyes's stories. So I can absolutely— those two are going to be—

William Hanson 0:24:30 I think they did work together, actually, because I was reading— I was rereading not long ago Kenneth Williams's diaries, and I think he mentions Miriam.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:40 Okay.

William Hanson 0:24:40 Not in a good or bad way, just sort of, I did a play with Miriam Uggles or something. So they probably worked together. Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:47 So that's my number 2. Who's your number 3?

William Hanson 0:24:49 The very recently late Penelope Keith.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:52 Oh yes!

William Hanson 0:24:54 Now she is luxury.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:55 She's very much luxury.

William Hanson 0:24:56 And I think she would both laugh at Larry and also know how to behave in front of the Queen Mother.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:01 Yeah, nice.

William Hanson 0:25:02 I think it would work nicely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:03 Nice.

William Hanson 0:25:04 My reserve guest— I'm gonna have a reserve guest. There, I said it. Claudia Winkleman.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:10 What?

William Hanson 0:25:12 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:13 Claudia Winkleman?

William Hanson 0:25:15 I just think Claudia's fun. I've never met her. I sort of don't want to meet her because I really like her. And I've always liked— I should just say, I'm not one of these new Claudia fans because of The Traitors or anything. I have liked Claudia since she presented Liquid News, it was called, on BBC Three. And then she went and did Strictly It Takes Two. I used to love watching her and Len's MasterClass on It Takes Two. Used to, back in the day when it was, you know, Strictly was a very different beast. So, I have been a Claudia fan for years.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:43 Oh.

William Hanson 0:25:43 And I'd have her.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:44 Well, there you go. Takes all sorts.

William Hanson 0:25:47 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:47 My number 3 is Liberace. And after— and I would every, every kind of 10 or 15 minutes, I'd say Liberace, Go and knock one out on the piano.

William Hanson 0:26:11 Hilarious.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:13 Now you wanna come?

William Hanson 0:26:14 Yeah, alright.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:15 Yeah, that does sound hilarious, doesn't it?

William Hanson 0:26:17 Yeah. Do you have a reserve guest?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:19 Well, uh—

William Hanson 0:26:20 In case anything happens to Liberace, Kenneth, or Miriam?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:22 Lorraine Bowen.

William Hanson 0:26:24 I was gonna say Lorraine Kelly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:25 Lorraine— No, Lorraine Bowen, because then she could do her Crumble song.

William Hanson 0:26:33 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:33 Um, yeah, I think that would be quite nice. Or maybe Russ Abbott. No, not Russ Abbott, Russ Conway. Russ Conway, he could do, you know, go on, give us a bit of Sidesaddle, Russ.

William Hanson 0:26:46 What's that?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:48 Sidesaddle. Oh, don't you remember? Oh, you're too young.

William Hanson 0:26:52 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:53 See, I grew up, my grandparents used to play Russ Conway all the time. He used to play the piano in a very kind of typical old-fashioned style, but he had, he had, uh, one finger a bit missing. And yet when you hear the way Russ Conway played, he—

William Hanson 0:27:11 The occasional bum note.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:13 No, he was, when considering he'd only got 9 and a half fingers, he was very quick. Listen, look, here's one. Yeah, it's nice.

William Hanson 0:27:36 Oh, it's lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:37 You like it, Rodrigo? Yeah. Now I am fascinated.

William Hanson 0:27:42 We'll do, we'll do our puddings in a minute. I'm fascinated to know who Sadie would invite.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:48 Oh yeah, who would you invite?

Speaker I 0:27:49 Okay, my number one would be—

William Hanson 0:27:52 And by the way, you don't need to say us.

Speaker I 0:27:54 Okay, thank you for clarifying that.

William Hanson 0:27:57 Yeah, just in case you felt forced.

Speaker I 0:27:58 My number one would be David Sedaris.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:01 Who?

Speaker I 0:28:02 Do you know who he is?

William Hanson 0:28:03 I sort of have heard of him.

Speaker I 0:28:04 Okay, he's a brilliant satirical writer. He's very funny. He's an essayist. You both would love him. He's great.

William Hanson 0:28:11 I'll look him up. Okay.

Speaker I 0:28:13 Look him up.

William Hanson 0:28:14 I have heard of him, but I need to familiarise myself with his oeuvre.

Speaker I 0:28:17 My second one would be Kim Cattrall.

William Hanson 0:28:19 Okay.

Speaker I 0:28:21 Kim Cattrall?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:23 Why would you have Kim Cattrall there?

Speaker I 0:28:25 She has some great one-liners, and I'm desperate to know what happened between her and Sarah Jessica Parker, because there's big beef and no one knows why.

William Hanson 0:28:31 Big beef at our dinner parties as well. Cooked to order.

Speaker I 0:28:35 And then my final— I think it does need some eye candy. My celebrity crush is Mads Mikkelsen. Do you know who he is?

William Hanson 0:28:44 Yeah, vaguely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:46 I don't know any of your people. These are all—

Speaker I 0:28:48 these are famous Brits. You know Kim Cattrall.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:50 I do know Kim Cattrall, yeah, but not the first guy. What's his name? Max?

Speaker I 0:28:54 Mads Mikkelsen.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:56 Mads.

Speaker I 0:28:57 Danish.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:28:58 Oh, sorry.

William Hanson 0:28:59 He was, um, Le Chiffre, wasn't he, in, um—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:01 Him?

Speaker I 0:29:03 Yeah. Gorgeous man. Ageing like a fine wine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:08 How old is he? He's 60! That's alright. You pervert.

Speaker I 0:29:15 I said I can be. I am being a pervert.

William Hanson 0:29:17 Yes, Casino Royale. He was Le Chiffre. Yes, you're a young woman.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:22 Is he— oh, would he be your sugar daddy? Would you— oh, I get you.

William Hanson 0:29:27 Rodrigo, would you have a fantasy dinner party?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:30 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:29:30 Who would you have?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:33 Well, in no particular order, I will have Guillermo del Toro. Oh yeah.

William Hanson 0:29:39 Yes, yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:40 Who, Rodrigo? Guillermo del Toro.

William Hanson 0:29:44 Did he do My Neighbour Totoro, or have I made that up?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:47 He did a Frankenstein movie.

William Hanson 0:29:51 Oh yeah. He's done something recently, hasn't he?

Speaker I 0:29:54 Yeah, he did Frankenstein recently.

William Hanson 0:29:58 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:29:59 Who else, Rodrigo?

Speaker J 0:30:00 Uh, Jessas Jonathan and Miriam Margolis.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:03 Oh yeah, she's great. She's so fun.

William Hanson 0:30:06 Don't have it on the same day.

Speaker J 0:30:08 And finally, uh, Mozart.

Speaker I 0:30:13 Oh, Mozart.

William Hanson 0:30:14 Mozart.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:16 Oh, look at you.

William Hanson 0:30:17 Honestly.

Speaker J 0:30:18 You like a good party.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:19 But have you ever heard the musical talents of Liberace or Russ Conway?

William Hanson 0:30:29 I don't want to be funny, but Mozart's got nothing on them.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:31 I guarantee you Liberace would have everyone up much more than Mozart. I mean—

William Hanson 0:30:38 What's Mozart ever done?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:40 Exactly. Mozart. Oh, I think Mozart might be a bit depressing, Rodrigo.

Speaker I 0:30:45 No, he loved parties. He was— he always organised parties.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:50 Did he?

Speaker J 0:30:50 They played music and got drunk.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:53 Oh, okay. Well, I'm warming to the idea.

William Hanson 0:30:55 Old Wolfgang.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:30:57 Well, this, this sounds quite fun, doesn't it?

William Hanson 0:30:59 It does.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:00 Yeah. We haven't done puddings.

William Hanson 0:31:02 Should we have a break and then we'll go for our puddings?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:31:04 Oh, let's! In fact, I better get that.

William Hanson 0:31:06 It's probably an RSVP.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:33:35 Welcome back, Bucketheads. We've been discussing fantasy dinner parties, and we'll get to your questions very shortly. We'll check out our heaving bags of post. And by the way, while we're at it, let me just remind you, if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, you can always email us any time of the night or day.

William Hanson 0:34:02 Mm.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:03 24/7, 365 days a year, your luxury emergency service. postman@luxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions. And you can watch every single episode we create on Patreon. All you have to do is join our luxury members club. Head over to luxurypodcast.co.uk to join.

William Hanson 0:34:26 Now, for a sweet ending, what are we having? For our fancy dinner parties, you're having your pâté first course, steak cooked to order main course. What's your pudding?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:38 Sticky toffee pudding.

William Hanson 0:34:39 Okay. With what?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:41 Vanilla ice cream from Häagen-Dazs.

William Hanson 0:34:44 Oh, okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:45 Yes.

William Hanson 0:34:46 Lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:46 Which is, in my view, the best vanilla ice cream in the world.

William Hanson 0:34:51 Have you tried Mackie's?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:52 Yes.

William Hanson 0:34:53 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:34:53 Yes. No, Häagen-Dazs is the best. Vanilla ice cream. Isn't it Häagen-Dazs? Oh, for God's sake.

William Hanson 0:35:04 I don't know. I know Häagen-Dazs is a completely made-up name to make it sound luxurious. This is— there is—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:11 I have always called it Häagen-Dazs.

William Hanson 0:35:13 Fine, fine. And you're probably, like Dauphinois, well, probably correct.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:35:18 Shall we look it up? If I find out now it's called Häagen-Dazs, how do you pronounce The little size you type on your— How do you pronounce Häagen-Dazs? I'd love it if it's that little Italian man again.

Speaker F 0:35:44 We are looking at Häagen-Dazs. American ice cream brand established in the Bronx, New York in 1960. Yes, despite the name, it is indeed an American brand. How do you go about pronouncing it?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:03 Häagen-Dazs. Häagen-Dazs.

Speaker M 0:36:05 Häagen-Dazs ice cream. Dazs!

Speaker F 0:36:07 It's straightforward once you know. Häagen-Dazs.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:10 Oh no, it is. It's right. It's Häagen-Dazs.

William Hanson 0:36:12 Long A.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:13 Well, whatever. I like their vanilla.

William Hanson 0:36:19 Vanilla.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:20 Yeah, so I'd have sticky toffee pudding with vanilla Häagen-Dazs. Okay.

William Hanson 0:36:27 Good. Lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:28 What would you have?

William Hanson 0:36:29 It would be chocolatey, and it would be warm, and I can't work out whether I'd have some sort of warm chocolate cake or chocolate fondant.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:40 Okay.

William Hanson 0:36:41 With vanilla ice cream again.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:42 Yeah. From Häagen-Dazs.

William Hanson 0:36:44 Yeah. Or Carte D'Or.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:47 Carte— no, you can't do that.

William Hanson 0:36:49 Joking. No, Häagen-Dazs or whatever. Yeah, or homemade, actually.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:36:56 Yes, whip up a vanilla ice cream, please.

William Hanson 0:36:59 But I'd have that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:00 Okay.

William Hanson 0:37:01 I think they'd all like it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:02 Are we doing cheese and biscuits?

William Hanson 0:37:03 No, not at mine. No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:05 I'd like the cheese and biscuits, but I think we won't need it. Everyone will be stuffed.

William Hanson 0:37:11 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:12 Which is how you want everyone to feel at the end of a roast. I would do a mint tea at the end. Mint tea. Oh, I could do one of mine. I'm yanking out the patio.

William Hanson 0:37:19 Yes. Do you remember? I do remember. Mikey still talks about it regularly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:23 Yeah, this is when, uh, William and Mikey came for dinner.

William Hanson 0:37:25 Years ago now.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:26 Uh, I was quite drunk, might not surprise you to learn. And at the end of the meal, I kind of said, anyone want a coffee? And, uh, Mikey said, oh, do you have any, uh, mint tea? And I'm thinking, of course I don't have mint tea. All you find in my house is good quality PG Tips. So I gave him a dressing down, and I then remembered I did actually have some mint growing as a weed through my patio. From the greenhouse?

William Hanson 0:37:53 It was through the—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:37:55 it has come out through the greenhouse. So I just yanked it out of the patio. It's all had mud attached to it. And you, you all thought that was hilarious. And then there we go, went and made tea with this manky old mint. But he loved it, didn't he?

William Hanson 0:38:09 He did love it. Don't you call it lesbian tea?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:12 Well, behind closed doors, William, I call all kinds of things. Yes, yes.

William Hanson 0:38:30 Are we having any entertainment at each other's dinner parties?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:32 Well, I've got the Gypsy Kings. They're still knocking one out down by the pool.

William Hanson 0:38:36 And, oh, and Liberace.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:38 Liberace's giving them a run for their money.

William Hanson 0:38:40 Playing any games?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:41 No, I can't stand games. Just, you've got witty conversation.

William Hanson 0:38:47 Yeah, that is always the best.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:49 Yeah, we don't need games.

William Hanson 0:38:50 I'd be tempted to play a round of Monopoly Deal.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:53 Oh God.

William Hanson 0:38:54 Just to say you've played Monopoly Deal with the Queen Mother. I think it'd be quite fun.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:38:57 No, I would quite— because bear in mind, remember, we're in Frigg. By this point, everyone is really drunk. We've had a lovely old time. I think I suggest a midnight swim. Come on, Miriam, let's get you in. Miriam being helped down the stairs by Liberace. Imagine the fun.

William Hanson 0:39:20 Who was your other guest?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:21 Kenneth Williams. Yeah.

William Hanson 0:39:24 Oh, he wouldn't mind.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:25 He wouldn't go in.

William Hanson 0:39:26 No. Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:27 Oh no, I'm not gonna go in. I'll sit here.

William Hanson 0:39:29 Well, I think this is lovely.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:32 I would come to your dinner party.

William Hanson 0:39:33 Would you come to mine?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:34 Definitely.

William Hanson 0:39:35 Great. Okay, let's go to a question from the anonymous S. Maybe they work for the intelligence services. Why don't you go on, ask the guy on YouTube how you pronounce it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:39:50 Well, here we are.

William Hanson 0:39:54 We're trying to work out how you pronounce The letter after R in the alphabet and preceding T. S writes, if you were invited to a dream dinner party and you were shown to the table to realise that your dinner guests were none other than Princess Diana, Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, and Charles Dickens, what would your questions or topics of conversation be?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:40:25 Oh, every single question I'm thinking of, I can't say on the podcast.

William Hanson 0:40:31 Nelson Mandela, we could ask, how's Winnie?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:40:36 Did you know, Nelson, that we've named William's flatulence after your late wife? In fact, Nelson, William, show him a Winnie. Because by this point, you will have had a bit of food.

William Hanson 0:41:00 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:00 Get it all going.

William Hanson 0:41:02 There are no questions that I could ask Michael Jackson that I could think of that the authorities haven't already asked.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:09 Yeah, quite. Why did you start making your funny noises, Michael? Ow! Where did that come from, Michael? You could ask that. At what point did you think to yourself, I'm gonna go, ow! In the middle of your tunes?

William Hanson 0:41:28 Princess Diana, I would ask her, assuming that she is sort of, you know, still around and she's aware of what's going on now, I'd ask her what her opinion is on both of her daughters-in-law.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:39 Yes.

William Hanson 0:41:40 That would be interesting.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:43 No, I can't ask her. I can't ask any of these. No, no, no, I don't have any questions for her.

William Hanson 0:41:48 Charles Dickens?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:41:49 Charles Dickens. Ooh, what's your favourite modern book? Did you ever enjoy the work of Enid Blyton?

William Hanson 0:42:02 Modern?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:06 It's more modern than Charles Dickens.

William Hanson 0:42:09 Charles Dickens, have you read Fifty Shades of Grey?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:11 Yes, yes, something like that.

William Hanson 0:42:14 Yeah, well, there we go. We've got, we've got conversation for all of them. Well, what a fun episode that's been.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:22 Fun? I'm exhausted.

William Hanson 0:42:23 It's a shame that we're leaving this podcast now and we're not enjoying all that food with all those people.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:42:28 That's quite right. We will, of course, be back tomorrow for one of our bonus episodes. loads of fun there. And if you can't make that, we'll be back next Wednesday for one of our main episodes as well. Until then, goodbye.