Sun Beds and Holiday Chums

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:00:47 Hello, and welcome to The Luxury Podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon-Smith, and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life.

William Hanson 0:01:06 Hello, Jonathan and I are here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living, whatever your budget.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:11 So, welcome to another bonus episode of The Luxury Podcast, where William and I will trade tips and stories from our own luxury lifestyles, as well as delving into our lovely great big male sacks. So, William, how's your week been?

William Hanson 0:01:24 My week's been fine, but I have not had a holiday yet. You have— you look expensively bronzed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:29 Do I?

William Hanson 0:01:30 You do, actually.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:31 Oh, yes. A

William Hanson 0:01:31 few people have commented on it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:33 Yes, I have got a bit of a tan, which is quite nice because I am very careful now in my old, old age.

William Hanson 0:01:39 Oh, you're not there yet.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:01:41 Um, I used to be, uh, dare I say— I mean, I was talking about this quite a lot on holiday with other people that I met about how times have changed. When, when I was a kid, my parents used to hire a sunbed 2 weeks before we went on holiday, And it would be hooked onto the spare room. Yeah. Onto the bed in the spare room. And my brother and I would be put under it every night to get a base tan.

William Hanson 0:02:06 Oh, I thought they put themselves under it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:11 They did as well.

William Hanson 0:02:12 Oh, I see.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:12 The whole family, yeah. My mum would say, oh, we've got the sunbed coming so we can all get a base tan.

William Hanson 0:02:17 Yeah, I know Jordan's family did that too.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:18 Because by the time you then got abroad, you weren't completely milky white and you didn't burn quite as much.

William Hanson 0:02:24 Well, I did. ahead of Athens, a few weeks, many weeks ago now, I did a spray tan.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:31 Oh,

William Hanson 0:02:32 so, which is a lot healthier than a sunbed. In fact, it's absolutely fine for you because it doesn't permeate your skin. It's just sugar. And yeah, so thus I could look expensively bronzed. And as the spray tan wore off,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:45 yeah,

William Hanson 0:02:45 the real tan developed.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:46 But this wasn't so much about looking brown. It was about your skin being kind of pre-cured, ready for the sun,

William Hanson 0:02:55 like a salami.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:56 Yeah, so you didn't burn quite quite as much.

William Hanson 0:02:58 Right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:02:59 And then, um, I remember my mum used to say, make sure you put the Factor 8 on.

William Hanson 0:03:03 Factor 8?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:04 Factor 8, yes. We'd put Factor 8.

William Hanson 0:03:07 Before you went under the sunbed?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:08 No, no, on holiday.

William Hanson 0:03:10 Flipping heck.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:11 Factor 8 Hawaiian Tropic Oil.

William Hanson 0:03:13 Had they not invented higher factors at this point?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:15 I don't think we'd quite realised at that point how damaging the sun could be for your skin.

William Hanson 0:03:19 Wow.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:20 And then what would happen is, first couple of days you'd burn, and then you'd start peeling, and then my parents used to say, don't worry, you've got your nice base tan now, you're ready to go. Generally, by the second week, you'd come back looking like little Judith Chalmers.

William Hanson 0:03:42 Absolutely. The late Judith Chalmers.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:43 The late Judith Chalmers. Completely, you know, sun damaged. Whereas now, I'm very sensible. Factor 30 all the way.

William Hanson 0:03:51 Okay. Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:54 You're going to say I should be wearing Factor 50, aren't you?

William Hanson 0:03:56 Yep.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:03:58 I went to Lidl in Spain, and I had a look. They've got suntan lotion. They didn't have anything less than Factor 50.

William Hanson 0:04:05 Good.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:06 Really?

William Hanson 0:04:07 Yeah. Because 50 is not the strength of— it's just how long it lasts on you.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:11 It's

William Hanson 0:04:12 not the strength. It's all the same strength. So, Why just put factor 50 on and then you don't need to worry as— I mean, always top up, but you don't need to be as fastidious,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:22 right?

William Hanson 0:04:22 Unless you've got in water.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:23 Well, I like a factor 30 and I feel comfortable with that.

William Hanson 0:04:27 To be fair, I am more of a factor 30. Factor 50 on my face always.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:30 I, I just know where I am with factor 30 now. I know, I know that I can be in the sun and I'm not gonna burn.

William Hanson 0:04:36 I've told you, I think, in the past— I don't know if I've ever told the Bucketheads— of when I basically cremated Mikey and Mystique. by accident.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:04:42 What did you put on him?

William Hanson 0:04:44 Well, so a month before we went to Mustique, which is in the Caribbean, I was also in the Caribbean working, and I had half a day off on this work. I was in St. Martin, training the members of parliament. Gosh, one of them, 2 days later, got arrested.

William Hanson 0:05:00 It's in the news. And the— oh, and actually, one of the other ones that we trained is now the Prime Minister. So, again, gosh. Yes. And, uh, anyway, I had half a day off, and I thought, oh well, I'll go to the beach.

William Hanson 0:05:14 And I hadn't packed any sun cream, so there was in the hotel where we were staying, which was not the most salubrious, and it didn't cater for people like us, um, I went and bought some sun cream and slapped it on me later. And I was maybe by the beach about an hour, if that, but I was under a parasol. Anyway, we then are packing for Mustique, and I go, oh, well, I've got this sun cream. I've only just bought it. I've had one use out of it.

William Hanson 0:05:42 There'll still be loads. I'll take that. But it did not have its stars on the back like it should do in this country. Always look for— always buy sun cream with stars on the back. Um, it was basically cooking oil, and Mikey is very pale, and Mikey slapped it all over him.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:05:59 Mm.

William Hanson 0:06:01 And, uh, we lay out in the sun in Mustique on day 1.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:03 Deep-fried Mikey.

William Hanson 0:06:05 And he was— have you not seen the photo? He was literally purple.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:08 Oh my God.

William Hanson 0:06:09 It was— it didn't ruin the holiday, but it did change the holiday because the poor boy couldn't walk.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:14 Yeah. Did he have a prickly night?

William Hanson 0:06:16 He had quite a few. I had put it on me as well, and I got slightly burnt too, but he was absolutely like a crisp.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:25 Well, you have got to be careful in the sun. But I did, just going back to my holiday, I did, um, have a lovely time in the sun, and I spent a lot of time in the sun this time.

William Hanson 0:06:34 Good.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:34 In the pool, because it was—

William Hanson 0:06:36 Well, then that reflects the heat.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:38 And it was so lovely. There was one afternoon I spent 5 hours in the pool.

William Hanson 0:06:43 Solidly?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:44 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:06:44 Wow.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:45 Came out all shrivelled, I did. My fingers had gone all shrivelled and everything. It was— everything was shrivelled. But it was one of these holidays where I, I met so many nice people.

William Hanson 0:06:57 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:06:58 Rodrigo came out.

William Hanson 0:06:59 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:00 So Rodrigo—

William Hanson 0:07:01 We had a lovely photo sent.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:02 Yeah, took you, took you up Frigg, didn't I? Huh? Yeah, took Rodrigo up Friggliana, and, um, we went out for dinner a couple of nights.

William Hanson 0:07:16 Nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:16 Which was nice. Did you like Friggliana? I love it. He loved it. There you go, you see.

William Hanson 0:07:20 You paid him to say that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:22 No, no, I haven't, no. So, we had a very nice time, and then after Rodrigo had gone, um, I met a whole load of really nice people in the apartments. There was Pam from the pool.

William Hanson 0:07:32 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:33 Pam from the— I mean, you may meet Pam from the pool in September.

William Hanson 0:07:37 Is she going to be there?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:38 She's going to be there when we're there. And, um, she travels lightly. She only brings hand luggage.

William Hanson 0:07:44 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:44 But she always takes her walk. She likes to take her wok and tins of tuna, because on day 1—

William Hanson 0:07:52 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:07:52 She does a big tuna pasta in her wok, and then she lives off that for the rest of the holiday. So, she doesn't need to go out, she doesn't need to waste time with eating out. She's got her tuna pasta. She can just be round the pool with her €1 wine. So, she was there with her friend Kate. They were lovely. Can't

William Hanson 0:08:12 wait for

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:12 They were really fun. Then I met, uh, uh, who did I meet? I met Andy and Lynn, Dave and Shelley, uh, Nikki and Diane, Ian, Laura, Lenny and Phoebe.

William Hanson 0:08:30 Oh, Phoebe, thank God. Everybody, but, but market name.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:08:33 But there was quite— because, um, Andy and Lynn and Dave and Shelley were all from the north. And they were quite funny because there was one time where Andy was in the pool talking about things going shrip, and Lynn said, top of her voice, she said, Andy, get out the pool, you know how your testicles go.

William Hanson 0:08:55 Can I, can I ask a question?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:04 Yes.

William Hanson 0:09:05 When I come to Frigg, and I'm meeting these people or similar people.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:09 You won't be meeting them.

William Hanson 0:09:10 Will it make the TV show Benidorm look like Downton Abbey? So,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:14 I wasn't staying in Frigg this time.

William Hanson 0:09:19 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:19 I was in Nerja.

William Hanson 0:09:20 Well, I'm not staying in Nerja. Oh well.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:23 No, you're staying in Frigiliana, aren't you?

William Hanson 0:09:25 Well, where am I staying? I don't really— I actually don't know where— I don't know. I actually had a dream I'm going to turn up and have no accommodation.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:39 Oh, William.

William Hanson 0:09:41 So, the Balcon is still full. I'm checking the website.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:44 I went into the Balcon.

William Hanson 0:09:45 Yeah, you sent me a video of— we'll stick it on our Luxury Members group. Yeah, I did. Saying the Balcon is full.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:09:50 The Balcon's full. So, I went in, I tried everything, but unfortunately it's full when you're going to be there.

William Hanson 0:09:56 But I've booked an apartment that you sent me the link to. Which— have you stayed in this apartment before? I thought this is the apartment you stayed in.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:06 No, I've never stayed in it.

William Hanson 0:10:07 Then why have you sent me the link?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:09 Because it just— it's central-ish. And it looks—

William Hanson 0:10:14 In Frigg or Nørre?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:15 In Frigg.

William Hanson 0:10:16 Right.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:17 Right, you're right in Frigg, in the centre.

William Hanson 0:10:21 And is there a little coffee shop I can go to?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:22 There's coffee shops, there's bars, there's a little supermercado.

William Hanson 0:10:27 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:28 Um, there's, there's everything in Frigg, you see. So I'd be less worried about you because I'd know that you've always got something to do if I'm not there with you 24 hours a day. Because there will be those rare moments in the morning where you might have to wait for me to come and get you, and I just feel happier knowing that you can wander and get a coffee.

William Hanson 0:10:49 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:50 Whereas in the hotel you'd booked— have you still got that booking?

William Hanson 0:10:54 No, I've cancelled it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:10:54 You cancelled that now? That was down a dirt track, and you're not near anything.

William Hanson 0:10:59 Did you go and look up the dirt track?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:00 No, uh, we did take Rodrigo, and we did kind of venture. We saw the sign for it, Rodrigo, didn't we?

Speaker C 0:11:06 It was a bit difficult.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:07 It was a bit difficult. It was down a dirt track. It was about a kilometre down a dirt track, so we didn't venture down there, to be honest. But I just think you'd be better. The only thing is, I think the apartment you might have booked is up about 300 steps. So, all I would say—

William Hanson 0:11:25 Do I need to come? I'll be honest. I could just have a nice few days at home. I think Mikey's got the right idea.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:45 You're gonna have a lovely time when you're there.

William Hanson 0:11:49 Okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:51 All I'd say is don't bring a lot of luggage, because trying to lug that up 300 steps is not going to be easy.

William Hanson 0:11:56 I don't travel light.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:11:58 You're not going to find very many bellboys in Frigiliana.

William Hanson 0:12:05 I'll give it a go.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:18 You're more likely to have to, you know, commandeer someone with a donkey to help you. Oh, it's gonna be an adventure, William. And I've got all kinds of plans for us. I thought we could get a pedalo.

William Hanson 0:12:32 Oh God.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:33 Have you ever been on a pedalo? No.

William Hanson 0:12:41 About 2 weeks after I come back from Frigo, I'm going to LA. That's more my scene.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:12:51 So, we could do a pedalo. We— I'll take you to the Mercadona. Oh, we're gonna have such a blast.

William Hanson 0:13:04 Can I also just talk about— because quite a few friends who listen to this Oh, our friend Joe went to— he was in a different part of Spain, he was in Gran Canaria, and I believe he sent you a photo of him with Las Tres Brujas in the supermarket. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But quite a few friends have said to me recently, oh, so when are you going to— send me— when are you going to Spain? When are you going to Spain? And when I give them the dates, ah, it's bloody months away. I thought you're talking about it as if it's happening tomorrow.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:31 Right, well, we've got to plan.

William Hanson 0:13:33 It's about 3 and a half months away, everyone.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:35 Yeah, but you left it too late to book your accommodation.

William Hanson 0:13:39 Everything's full. That's why I thought we'd be okay.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:41 Well, we're not.

William Hanson 0:13:43 How many rooms does the Balkan have? Is it a boutique hotel?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:47 No, there's quite a lot of rooms. It's a very popular destination, William.

William Hanson 0:13:53 Hmm.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:54 So,

William Hanson 0:13:55 clearly.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:13:56 But we are going to have such a hoot.

William Hanson 0:13:58 We will. Once I've recovered my breath from schlepping my Matching executive luggage up the steps.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:14:07 I can't— I mean, there was one day where I thought, I'm gonna go and find where William's apartment is. So, I went walking down this street, and then I got to the foot of these steps, and the steps, they go as far as the eye can see. All you can see is the steps, and I'm fairly sure you're at the top. And I was gonna go and check it out, but I was out of puff.

William Hanson 0:14:50 So, not only will I have to take my heavy case up those stairs, every time I'm coming down, To get my coffee when you're not with me, because, you know, you're doing something better. I'm gonna have to go up and down. Well, we've got 3 and a half months. I could ask them to put in a stairlift in that time.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:09 Oh, yeah.

William Hanson 0:15:12 Exhausted already.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:13 Anyway, well, I just hope that we'll survive as well, because there was drama while I was there.

William Hanson 0:15:19 What happened?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:20 Well, one of my favourite bars and restaurants where I like to have a bite to eat, In fact, I took Rodrigo there, didn't I, Rodrigo? Yeah. And, um, a couple of nights later I went back and there were all ambulances there and the old Guardia Civil. They were there. They went around the back of Mercadona.

William Hanson 0:15:39 Oh.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:15:39 And, um, I asked a local what had gone on. And a woman from the village had had an epileptic fit and she mowed down everyone outside my favourite restaurant. We'll be going there, won't we? We go to Brigliade.

William Hanson 0:15:57 Wow. We won't be sitting by the window.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:02 No, it's on the street. You sit on the street.

William Hanson 0:16:05 Oh,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:06 good.

William Hanson 0:16:06 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:07 But I tell you what, I'll have my back to the road. How about that?

William Hanson 0:16:09 Yeah, alright, yeah, fine.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:10 Yeah. I'll take the impact.

William Hanson 0:16:12 Your fat back shall bounce off.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:13 Like an airbag! So anyway, I can't wait. I can.

William Hanson 0:16:36 Brief.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:48 Oh, William.

William Hanson 0:16:51 Do I get to take you on holiday next year?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:16:53 No, no, because you'll take me somewhere fancy and glamorous.

William Hanson 0:16:59 Oh, what a hardship.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:01 Oh, look, it will be a story to tell. In fact, I thought, you know our live show that's coming up?

William Hanson 0:17:11 Yes, in November.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:13 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:17:13 Some tickets still available.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:15 Some, not many.

William Hanson 0:17:16 No.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:17 So, snap them up quickly, Bucketheads. But, I thought at our live show, we could give everyone the full debrief, including some of our holiday snaps.

William Hanson 0:17:28 We could, if— providing we don't get mowed down by an epileptic woman.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:33 Apparently she'd done it before. So—

William Hanson 0:17:42 That's what is not filling me with confidence.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:44 Yeah, the lady said she's done it before.

William Hanson 0:17:47 Why is she still driving?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:17:48 Apparently she drove into a pool. It's

William Hanson 0:17:53 not Inspector Clouseau. Should we have the break there?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:18:07 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:20:11 Welcome back, Bucketheads. We're going to read your questions now, so let's check out our heaping bags of post, shall we? Do remember, if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, postman@luxurypodcast.co.uk is the place for your queries and your questions.

William Hanson 0:20:28 This first one is from Cailin and Megan. Dear William and Jonathan, I am fortunate enough to be a long-term listener to your podcast but have not yet had cause to write in.

William Hanson 0:20:36 Unfortunately, I am a heterosexual I know, turns out some of us do listen to the podcast. And thus, my wife and I are about to become parents for the first time. Naturally, a small creature that cannot control its own gastrointestinal system will not be the height of luxury. So my question is this: how does one raise a small, burping, farting, and screaming newborn luxuriously? Yours sincerely, Cailin and Megan.

William Hanson 0:20:58 P.S., thank you, Jonathan, for making us aware of alla cacciatora, or as we more Luxuriously refers to it by its Italian name, pollo alla cacciatora. We also love your rapid ragù and would welcome another episode on luxurious dinners you like to make with or without dinner guests. I mean, we've gone through his repertoire, if I'm honest.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:17 How rude!

William Hanson 0:21:19 Unless there's another one you've put in the mix.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:21 Yeah, I whipped up a new one last night, but I'm not going to tell you about it now after you've been so dismissive.

William Hanson 0:21:26 What was the meat?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:27 Chicken.

William Hanson 0:21:28 Nice.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:30 I don't really know how you bring a baby up.

William Hanson 0:21:33 It's not really—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:34 'Cause I don't have one.

William Hanson 0:21:37 I think maybe just don't socialise with friends.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:39 I was gonna say.

William Hanson 0:21:40 Until it's 18.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:41 Yes, I think the best— the most luxury way is just to stay away from people.

William Hanson 0:21:46 Yeah, I think— or only socialise with parents that have similar-aged children, because then you're all in the same boat.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:53 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:21:53 But don't inflict the child on those that, you know, don't— unless they're relatives that don't you know, care for it.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:21:59 No.

William Hanson 0:21:59 And don't want all that burping.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:00 Yeah, I don't really think that we are the best people to advise on raising a luxury baby.

William Hanson 0:22:08 Yeah, no, not at all. But thank you for thinking that.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:12 Yes, yes, very flattering. Assuming we might have something useful to add. Oh, John says, dear William and Jonathan, on the subject of your recent DIY voyage, I came across this image Whilst listening in. I'm an electrician myself, and it got me thinking. Which one of you was this, and did you offer Ben 2 rounds of luxury bacon butties, apron-on fat burns?

William Hanson 0:22:38 Now, there's a screenshot here from a Facebook group called Electrical F-Ups.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:22:44 Yeah.

William Hanson 0:22:44 And it says, customer answered the door in Speedos and stayed to watch the repair. What percentage are we adding? Wow. So, what is the etiquette on watching tradesmen work? Keep it hilarious. The two of you— you're the podcast— I've taken over. Keep it hilarious. The two of you are the podcast highlight of my week, John.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:01 Right.

William Hanson 0:23:02 Yes, do you watch tradesmen? I mean, that's obviously not in Speedos. Do you watch what they're

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:09 doing? I do like to keep an eye, but not— well, I hope not kind of intrusively. No. But I'm often quite intrigued Because I like watching people do something that they know how to do.

William Hanson 0:23:21 Yes, it's quite reassuring to know you've got— and it's all in hand.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:26 But when Chilly Room, Charling, Call It Down Kev were there, you know, I wasn't really— I just popped my head round, I looked, oh, sticking a pipe there. That was all I did. I didn't kind of stand there and watch them.

William Hanson 0:23:37 No,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:37 no,

William Hanson 0:23:38 because that would be very irritating.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:38 It's a bit weird, yeah.

William Hanson 0:23:39 Because if you have someone watching you work, that would be annoying.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:44 There's not much to watch, is there? Let's be honest.

William Hanson 0:23:47 No, true.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:23:47 Just somebody sitting in a room wittering on. But I know I've— I, I— well, I think if I knew— so if, for example, Silicon Sean came around and was doing something, and it was, for example, siliconing— I mean, his skills, as you know, extend far beyond silicon.

William Hanson 0:24:06 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:06 He's a highly qualified plumber, And heat pump installer.

William Hanson 0:24:11 Can I also just— a little personal message to Silicon Sean here. Yeah, well, also thank you for buying tickets for our live show, but also I have responded to that review site with the invoice and I don't know if it's posted or not, but I have done everything they've asked.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:26 Right.

William Hanson 0:24:26 So just FYI, it hasn't appeared because I assumed I'd get another email going, your review is now live.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:32 Yeah,

William Hanson 0:24:33 but

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:33 anyway. Are you using the podcast for your own admin purposes? Is it right? But I mean, if he was doing something like siliconing, I would say Can I watch how you do that?

William Hanson 0:24:44 You know, I wouldn't bother. I'd be rubbish at it. Oh,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:47 I'm quite interested to watch.

William Hanson 0:24:49 I might go, everything all right?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:52 Everything all right?

William Hanson 0:24:53 Once every hour, just to check that we're on track.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:24:55 I see.

William Hanson 0:24:57 This is from Ed. Dear William and Jonathan, this morning when I went to play the most recent episode of The Luxury Podcast, the COVID picture on the podcast didn't change from my previous listen, and so it looked as though you were hosting an episode of The Luxury Podcast all to do with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. This led me to think, which historical figure do you think are the most luxurious? Maybe Mansa Musa, the 14th-century ruler of Mali Empire— of the Mali Empire, or possibly Isabella Beaton, who we can thank for her book of household management, no doubt a favourite read of Hyacinth Bouquet. Yours sincerely, Ed Fox. Gosh,

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:31 maybe the late Queen Mother.

William Hanson 0:25:32 Yes, Louis XIV. He was quite, you know, luxury. He liked all of that. Yes, the late Queen Mother and Louis XIV. Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:40 The late Queen Mother would have loved the Luxury Podcast.

William Hanson 0:25:44 Oh my God, she'd be a regular listener.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:46 I heard a story once that she got so drunk she fell out of a window. I thought, she's my kind of girl.

William Hanson 0:25:52 Sounds like Pam from the Pool.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:25:54 She does sound like Pam from the Pool. I bet she would have loved a tuna pasta in a wok.

William Hanson 0:25:58 Yeah, I was whipping that up around Clarence House.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:02 Oh, Stephen's been in touch.

William Hanson 0:26:03 Yes.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:04 Hello, Jonathan and William. I spotted these cleaning products on shelves in a supermarket in Sardinia, and I thought they might amuse you. Stephen.

William Hanson 0:26:13 So, there's a nice white bottle called Winnies.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:15 A Winnie— a Winnie bag? No.

William Hanson 0:26:18 There's Cif Ultra Moofa.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:21 Muffa.

William Hanson 0:26:22 Muffa. And Smack. Now, have you ever tried Smack?

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:32 It looks like Smack is a bathroom cleaner. Is that—

William Hanson 0:26:35 Yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:35 Yeah. Smack your bathroom up. Lovely. Well, they look nice.

William Hanson 0:26:41 What's Sif Ultra Maffa? Remove—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:45 Per modi e fu— What is that?

William Hanson 0:26:49 Per— for— molten milk?

Speaker G 0:26:52 Mould spray.

William Hanson 0:26:53 Mould spray.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:53 Mould spray. Did you just do a translation?

Speaker G 0:26:56 Just looked it up, yeah.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:26:57 Oh, well, we don't have Ultra Muffer in this country, do we?

William Hanson 0:27:01 Maybe we don't have enough mould. We don't have enough muffer.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:03 Well, there we go.

William Hanson 0:27:08 We lack a bit of muffer on this podcast.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:10 We certainly do. There's not much muffer. Now look, what a lot of fun we've had.

William Hanson 0:27:15 Before we go—

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:15 What?

William Hanson 0:27:16 Can you just tell us what the recipe was you did yesterday? Because I really want to know.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:18 No. We'll be back next Wednesday.

William Hanson 0:27:24 I'm not. Until you tell me I'm not coming back.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:27 I'll tell you what, I'll tell you in next Wednesday's episode. How about that?

William Hanson 0:27:31 Well, that'll fit seamlessly into the topic.

Jonathan Vernon-Smith 0:27:34 I'm sure we'll find a way of crowbarring it in. Until then, goodbye!