The Beef With Wendi Continues | And Jordan’s New Aroma

Jordan 0:00:24 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on, and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful GND-ers. Well, I was looking forward to the weekend. Just said before the start of that recording from Jump Cut Jack, you know, you remind me of my grandparents. I was like, oh, how lovely.

William 0:00:53 Is that a good praise?

Jordan 0:00:54 No, he said, because you smell of coffee and cigarettes. Cheers!

Jack 0:00:58 It meant in a nice way. It reminded me of being a child. Nostalgic.

William 0:01:01 Oh.

Jordan 0:01:02 Coffee and— is that what I smell like? You do

William 0:01:04 actually smell like coffee and cigarettes.

Jordan 0:01:05 Do I? Do I actually?

William 0:01:07 You do. But I think that's like a— they sell candles like that.

Jordan 0:01:11 That's a horrible smell! Oh, to be fair, the aftershave I wear is called Jazz Club, and that's like brandy and cigars.

William 0:01:18 Well, there we go.

Jack 0:01:19 Maybe that's what I need. I need some of that.

Jordan 0:01:20 Coffee and cigarettes. How— is that what my aroma is?

Jack 0:01:24 It was when I was just next to you a minute ago, yeah.

Jordan 0:01:27 But I've not had a coffee or a fag for about 2 hours.

William 0:01:30 Jordan, it was about an hour ago.

Jordan 0:01:31 Was it?

William 0:01:32 Yeah.

Jordan 0:01:33 Ooh, I better hurry up. I'll need another one soon. This better be a quick recording. Coffee! I mean, coffee.

William 0:01:38 Yeah.

Jordan 0:01:38 Do I smell of coffee and cigarettes?

William 0:01:40 Don't get a complex about it.

Jordan 0:01:41 Oh no, I am. Cheers, Jack. But I'm glad I reminded you of your grandparents.

William 0:01:44 Aww.

Jordan 0:01:45 How are you? How's your weekend? What have you got coming up?

William 0:01:47 I can't mention what I've got coming, 'cause you're all going to—

Jordan 0:01:50 You can mention it. Do it.

William 0:01:52 I'm working.

Jordan 0:01:53 In what?

William 0:01:54 A show.

Jordan 0:01:55 What show?

William 0:01:55 Titerley.

Jordan 0:01:56 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Have you not got—

William 0:01:59 James! Don't you join in!

Jordan 0:02:01 Have you not got a day— James went to see it, said it was great.

William 0:02:03 James hasn't seen it yet.

Jordan 0:02:04 Oh, you're going to see it, aren't you?

William 0:02:05 Coming to see it with the T-Mounting.

Jordan 0:02:06 Do you not get a day off? What do you do on Sunday when you wake up then?

William 0:02:10 2 shows?

Jordan 0:02:10 What time do you get there?

William 0:02:11 I get in on a Sunday for 1.

Jordan 0:02:15 Wow!

William 0:02:15 And I leave the building at 10.

Jordan 0:02:17 What time do you get up?

William 0:02:18 Well, last weekend we were performing at West End Live in Trafalgar Square, so I had to get up extra early. So we did 3 shows in effect last Sunday. Uh, this Sunday I should be getting up probably about 9.

Jordan 0:02:28 Oh, okay.

William 0:02:29 Which is quite nice, you know, a little potter around.

Jordan 0:02:31 I'm usually up for half 8, 9, unless I'm rough.

William 0:02:34 Yeah.

Jordan 0:02:35 I— last weekend, you know you've had a good night, I had to get up, get straight on train because I thought I was gonna miss the train. I had to brush my teeth at Preston train station gentlemen's toilets.

William 0:02:45 Hang on, so you went all that way without—

Jordan 0:02:47 I like getting back early on a Sunday because I'm old now, so I'm like, right, I don't want to waste it. I want to get back on Sunday so I can have rest of the day to myself. So I rushed up, didn't even shower, and then got to— I thought, I've not brushed my teeth, I had to brush my teeth in toilets at Preston train station.

William 0:03:00 Did you have— you had your toothbrush with you?

Jordan 0:03:02 Yeah, of course, I had my bag with me.

William 0:03:03 You don't leave a few toiletries up at your mum and dad's?

Jordan 0:03:05 God no, never get them back. Not with mum and dad, my brothers. She said that, she said— and she lived in Spain— she went, do you know what to do? Bring a load of suitcases, stuff over, you can just leave it here so when you come and go you don't have to pack a case, you can just go on my hand luggage. I thought, that's a great idea. So I went, took a load of stuff, Never seen it since. The only time I've seen one is my brother came down to visit me. I went, is that my top? He went, no. I went, you've nicked that from me mum's. So yeah.

William 0:03:30 Gosh, what all goes on. And you're going to the wedding, aren't you?

Jordan 0:03:32 Yeah, I've got a wedding this weekend.

William 0:03:33 What are you doing on the other day? Or is it a 2-dayer?

Jordan 0:03:36 Oh no, no, head straight back.

William 0:03:39 Okay, where is it?

Jordan 0:03:40 Crewe.

William 0:03:41 Crewe?

Jordan 0:03:41 Crewe Way, I think, yeah. So I'm gonna head straight back. You like your own bed? You know, like what old people say, you can't beat your own bed, you won't comfort your own home. Gotta go home and get curtains drawn, get settled. You know, that kind of thing.

William 0:03:55 Okay, lovely.

Jordan 0:03:56 I do, I just wanna get home these days. Be in me house.

William 0:03:58 Bless you. And on the Sunday, what are you doing?

Jordan 0:04:00 I'll probably be chilling and watching Narrow Escapes or something like that, that I'm now obsessed with. My new obsession, Narrow Escapes. Nice bit of telly. Finished Clarkson's Farm.

William 0:04:12 Oh, we've got 2 episodes left.

Jordan 0:04:13 Have you watched Thingy yet?

William 0:04:16 Tiptoe. What?

Jordan 0:04:16 Tiptoe.

William 0:04:17 No, no.

Jordan 0:04:17 I wanna watch that.

William 0:04:18 I'm hardly in. I— it's on my list to watch.

Jordan 0:04:20 You were hardly in before.

William 0:04:23 Yeah, but I'm really, really not in now.

Jordan 0:04:25 Okay. When you get home after your show, what do you do? How does a West End actor wind down?

William 0:04:30 Sometimes I might order some food. If I'm— if I haven't had my burrito and I'm hungry, I might order something. But generally I don't. I just potter around the house. Just do some slight— no screens. So I don't look at my phone, don't watch TV, and maybe put a podcast on, do a bit of tidying, and just potter for a bit.

Jordan 0:04:50 Potter. I love—

William 0:04:50 Maybe just sit on the sofa, be at one.

Jordan 0:04:52 See, I'd have a brew and watch a bit of shit telly at that time.

William 0:04:54 No, I can't do a screen.

Jordan 0:04:55 No, why?

William 0:04:56 That would— that would— 'cause that would wake me up.

Jordan 0:04:58 I'd be stimulated.

William 0:04:59 Some days I can go to bed half an hour after I get in. Other times, a couple of hours I'm awake.

Jordan 0:05:03 Fair enough.

William 0:05:04 Yeah.

Jordan 0:05:04 Alright, what have we got then? Let's get into it.

William 0:05:06 Well, you, Jordan, recently mentioned in an episode that you're worried about— that your grandmother might be watching you from heaven during personal moments. Am I obsessed with me dead grandma?

Jordan 0:05:14 I think it's a good point. 'Cause I did nearly cry on Tuesday's episode.

William 0:05:18 Well, we asked our Gen Z viewers what they wouldn't want their dead relatives to see them doing. We've got some lovely wholesome answers like this from Jasmine. My mum passed away almost 4 years ago. When I get frustrated with my children, as all parents do now and again, I always think if my mum is watching me now, she will not be happy with how I'm being with her grandchildren. And it actually helps me take a breath and remember that they're just little children with big feelings, which we really all are. That's lovely. Some responses, however, perhaps predictably, were a little less charming. Anonymous wouldn't want their dead relatives to see them slagging off what they didn't leave them in their will.

Jordan 0:05:53 See, I know where I am with that, 'cause none of my family's got any money, so we're right. Like, it'd be fine. So it just takes that out of it.

William 0:06:02 Yeah, makes it easy.

Jordan 0:06:03 So it does. I know people that fight over wills and inheritance.

William 0:06:07 Oh, I don't know.

Jack 0:06:08 Is there anything of Wendy's that you would love, like a particular thing for her to leave you?

Jordan 0:06:12 Great question.

William 0:06:14 Any of the Live Laugh Love signs?

Jordan 0:06:15 Are you starting the beef again? I actually took a picture when I was there.

William 0:06:24 I'm saying no lies!

Jordan 0:06:25 Of some of the signs.

William 0:06:27 A house is not a home without something or other.

Jordan 0:06:31 No, actually.

William 0:06:32 I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I put it in the food.

Jordan 0:06:35 Family. Today's little moments become tomorrow's precious memories.

William 0:06:40 Oh, fucking hell.

Jordan 0:06:41 Excuse me. Be nice. And then, never trust a skinny cook, which I thought was good. And then, wash your hands, you filthy animal.

William 0:06:51 Okay, that's fair enough.

Jordan 0:06:53 That was in there. So, yeah. Well,

William 0:06:55 that's cute.

Jordan 0:06:56 What would I want from my mum's? Don't know, because if I like said a dress or a perfume, it's a bit— what's in there?

William 0:07:04 Well, no, because my mother has talked about she's going to— obviously, she's got 2 boys, just about, but she's leaving.

Jordan 0:07:09 They're not getting out.

William 0:07:11 She's leaving her rings, but she said that what we can do, whatever, we can either give them to anyone, we're, you know, if James gets a girlfriend.

Jordan 0:07:18 Bit Norman Bates though, innit, if you keep her dresses and stuff.

William 0:07:21 Yeah, they're all going.

Jordan 0:07:22 But the sets.

William 0:07:23 The rings, or she said you could, you can make people's rings like into like necklaces.

Jordan 0:07:27 Yeah, you can make necklaces.

William 0:07:28 Or you can repurpose, or brooches.

Jordan 0:07:31 I'll have her bed. Is that weird?

William 0:07:33 That is weird, Jordan.

Jordan 0:07:34 She's got a Tempur mattress bed. She loves telling me about it. She says it moulds to your arse. It's great. So sometimes can't get up. She said it moulds right around your arse. It's— them temperature—

William 0:07:47 It's like Graham.

Jordan 0:07:47 Debbie, you want to honestly invest in it. Always spend good money on your shoes or your bed. I've always said that, but I might take a bed, but that'd be weird.

William 0:07:54 That would be weird. Get your own mattress.

Jordan 0:07:55 She's got a good kettle. She's got a new settee, so probably take that.

William 0:08:01 Well, lovely.

Jordan 0:08:04 Oh no, do you know what? I'd take a blow-up bed. It was good.

William 0:08:07 Jordan, you don't need a blow-up bed, for God's sake. I'll buy you a blow-up bed.

Jordan 0:08:10 What can I take? My mum's house is going to bug me.

Jack 0:08:12 If you sit in the blow-up bed with that, it'd be like, oh, that really reminds me of mum. Yeah.

Jordan 0:08:17 It's weird, innit? Well, a couple of her mugs. She's got good mugs. And she's got a good fridge magnet collection. So maybe that.

William 0:08:23 Oh, I think fridge magnets are fine. That's sweet. Little mementos that, you know, may not be worth anything, but have sentimental value. I think that's really sweet. Han wouldn't want them to see their stuff being sold on Vinted before the flowers have even died. Well, Han, I would leave that a bit

Jordan 0:08:40 longer. You can send flowers on— You can sell flowers on Vinted.

William 0:08:43 No. No, as in— So person dies, and you start selling their stuff before the body's cold, basically.

Jordan 0:08:52 I ain't got time for that. There's stuff I should sell, but thought of uploading it, and I'm waiting for people to come round to collect it.

William 0:08:59 I'll drop it off. You don't have people come round to collect it, I'm sorry!

Jordan 0:09:01 What do you do, send it?

William 0:09:02 You put it in an Impost locker. Or use Royal Mail or DPD.

Jordan 0:09:06 If you've got time for that, I admire it. Sian's always doing it.

William 0:09:09 Yeah, but she doesn't have people come round to her. I mean, I've never spoken to her about it, but I'm going to bet a lot of money she does not have people coming round to her house to get stuff.

Jordan 0:09:16 You look like a man, Jack, who's Vinted and eBayed a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

Jack 0:09:20 I sold quite a few bits. I think it's quite easy.

William 0:09:22 You might have someone come round when you're looking for a new top, but other than that… Faith wouldn't want them to watch them trying to park a car. That's niche.

Jordan 0:09:32 Yeah, that's fair.

William 0:09:33 Chess, the musical, said, my dad was a maths genius.

Jordan 0:09:37 And he called you Chess. Of course he did.

William 0:09:40 I know. The other sibling's called Snakes and Ladders. I know his ghost shudders when I use a calculator for simple sums.

Jordan 0:09:46 Yeah, I always think that when I use a calculator.

William 0:09:48 Oh, and of course, we did have some grubbier answers, because of course our Genie and Divas can be filthy. Dominic said, shaving my pubes off.

Jordan 0:09:55 It's quite undignified shaving your pubes in general.

William 0:09:58 There's no way to do it nicely.

Jordan 0:09:59 You've got one leg cocked up, one dustpan and brush there. You've gotta prep. And then, yeah.

William 0:10:07 Dustpan and brush?

Jordan 0:10:09 Well, yeah, to get all the little bits.

William 0:10:11 Okay. Jamie said, I wouldn't want them over my shoulder seeing my Grindr chats.

Jordan 0:10:16 Fairs.

William 0:10:16 Amy said she wouldn't want ghosts watching them check the loo paper when you wipe your arse after a poo. I changed words in that. Sarah said, I wear my grandma's wedding ring. I always think about that after I've had casual sex. That's weird.

Jordan 0:10:34 Could be worse. Could be… you know.

William 0:10:37 What?

Jordan 0:10:38 She could be pleasuring oneself with this ring finger.

William 0:10:41 Yep. She could be. Rob said, my mum asked me if I wanted to get a tattoo with my nan and granddad's ashes in the ink. That's the thing. I actually feel physically ill.

Jordan 0:10:51 You can actually get 'em, like—

William 0:10:53 I said that would be horrible. When I'm having sex, they'd literally be on me.

Jordan 0:10:57 Yeah.

William 0:10:57 I mean, I just think it's weird.

Jordan 0:10:58 Yeah, I agree. No, actually.

William 0:11:01 No, that's weird.

Jordan 0:11:02 What about— people have it in a little locket and stuff.

William 0:11:04 Less weird, 'cause you can remove it.

Jordan 0:11:06 Frank's ashes came out at the 60th. We had a little toast to him.

William 0:11:11 It's a bit macabre. Frank, for any new listeners, is Jordan's family dog that died 2, 3 years ago.

Jordan 0:11:19 2 years ago now.

William 0:11:20 And—

Jordan 0:11:21 Ashes came out, we passed them round in garden. You think I make stuff up, I promise you we did.

Jack 0:11:28 Do you keep the ashes in the freezer as well?

Jordan 0:11:30 I'm gonna— might give that to me mum. No, ashes—

William 0:11:33 No, it's part of the set!

Jordan 0:11:34 Can I— I actually might give her that.

William 0:11:36 Well, can we replace it with something? Because otherwise there'll be a big gap.

Jordan 0:11:40 I'll message her. I'll say, do you want this? And then I'll take that off when she dies.

Jordan 0:13:44 You're brave.

William 0:13:50 Or my favourite, breathe. I don't know if she has that, but people have signs saying breathe or just love.

Jordan 0:13:55 She doesn't have live, laugh, love signs. She actually doesn't.

William 0:13:59 Jordan. Jordan, we filmed her for tour. There's a Live Laugh Love sign as the opening shot.

Jordan 0:14:05 Is there actually?

William 0:14:06 Yes.

Jordan 0:14:07 Please. Is there? She doesn't have Live Laugh Love. It's just— you're stereotyping.

William 0:14:11 She did. She did in March.

Jordan 0:14:12 Did she? She might have had love.

William 0:14:14 I'm absolutely convinced it said Live Laugh Love.

Jordan 0:14:16 Did it? Oh, fine. Okay, fair enough.

William 0:14:19 'Cause my— what was filmed at my mother's was a plate from the Golden Jubilee.

Jordan 0:14:24 Of course. Yeah.

William 0:14:25 So I remember. Of course. I remember the two. We also had a dilemma from someone who went to a wedding that the bride left early. So we wondered what events our GND-ers had left early. Andrew did an Irish exit from their own work leaving do.

Jordan 0:14:37 I like a little Irish exit, but I don't— I think it's money.

William 0:14:40 I think it's ruse.

Jordan 0:14:41 I don't— I think to go back, to go at a party, especially at a wedding, and say goodbye to the bride and groom and everyone else, main character energy. No one's bothered. Just leave.

William 0:14:51 No. Sarah accidentally left their 21st early, as they got so drunk, they went to the loo and fell asleep. Yes. Okay, well, that was unintentional. Tricia's daughter Lindsay put herself to bed during her 3rd birthday party. Oh my god, that's so cute. That's so cute. Lorna said, it wasn't me, but one of the participants had to leave my group fitness class early to get to Greggs before the breakfast meal deal ended. I suppose it's all about balance in life.

Jordan 0:15:15 I would be the same.

William 0:15:16 Can I just say, that is so Lorna. She said, It's not her. That's absolutely not her.

Jordan 0:15:21 Yeah, that was absolutely not her.

William 0:15:22 Lauren, we can see past that.

Jordan 0:15:23 And that's what I'd do. If I woke up and knew in my head that I'm getting breakfast, and it was shutting— 'Cause I wanna go on holiday. I'm like, I have to. I can't miss breakfast. If it's in my head, if I know I'm having a Mackie's breakfast, I'm like, no. I'd leave early as well.

William 0:15:37 Alyssa left a work party early, only to realise they were getting an award. Ooh. Yeah.

Jordan 0:15:43 Yeah, that's bad.

William 0:15:44 Nicola left a work party early to spend the night bonking.

Jordan 0:15:47 I hate that word.

William 0:15:48 7 times.

Jordan 0:15:49 7 times!

William 0:15:50 Wow, Nicola, good on you.

Jordan 0:15:52 Oh, can we ban bonking on any letters? If anyone writes in bonking, just say shagging, having sex.

William 0:15:57 Yeah, what words do you find appropriate for that?

Jordan 0:15:59 Shagging.

William 0:16:00 Shagging? Yeah. See, I don't like shagging.

Jordan 0:16:03 Having sex. Fucking's a bit too strong, innit?

William 0:16:06 Oh, yeah.

Jordan 0:16:07 But bonking.

William 0:16:08 How about making love?

Jordan 0:16:09 Making love. Shagging.

William 0:16:11 Mm. Okay.

Jordan 0:16:13 Getting intimate. Getting down and dirty. That's fine.

William 0:16:16 Getting down and moderately clean is generally how I prefer to do it.

Jordan 0:16:20 Have a roll around? That's what a mate said to me, proper Essex. He went— I actually said to him, I went, you're perky today. You've got a smile on your face. He went, oh, me and— won't say name— we had a roll around last night. I was like, oh, all right. Which meant he had sex.

William 0:16:37 Ah, yes, I got it. A friend of mine at boarding school, would refer to it as boot polishing, because they were in the CCF, the sort of funny little silly little pretend army thing they do. And you obviously have to polish your boots, as you do in the military and all that. And so they'd come around to another friend's and go, do you like me to polish your boots? That was the code.

Jordan 0:17:02 To wank him off?

William 0:17:03 It was more than that, but yeah.

Jordan 0:17:05 Fucking hell, it all went on, didn't it?

William 0:17:08 Anyway, that was Definitely a friend. We'll have more of your emails, messages, and letters after the break.

Jordan 0:17:15 Alright then, William Hanson, what have we got for our responses on our Friday episode, please, me love?

William 0:17:20 Just want to make perfectly clear, I was not in the CCF. Not officially anyway.

Jordan 0:17:24 Was you on the receiving end of a boot polishing?

William 0:17:27 Emeris has got in touch after hearing last week's—

Jordan 0:17:31 Is that polishing the boots?

William 0:17:32 Mm. Yeah. Emeris has got in touch after hearing last week's dilemma regarding pup play. Oh good, we're going back to that. Afternoon, boys. current Mr. Fetish Gran Canaria. And my partner Flash is the current Mr. Puppy Gran Canaria. So I got quite excited when you mentioned the Jumbo Centre and more specifically Noxon. Funnily enough, this is probably the 3rd or 4th time you've mentioned that bar, and every time you've mentioned it, it's always linked with a urine-related etiquette question. On this last Tuesday's episode, you discussed the dilemma about urinating inside someone. Completely agree with you two. This is absolutely not allowed without consent, and the person who did it should have been reported to the bar staff. Although darkroom etiquette does exist, just because someone is in a sling does not mean they're into water sports. Never assume, and always ask for consent before getting frisky. Lots of love, Emeris. P.S., William, you were absolutely amazing in Titanic.

Jordan 0:18:25 I thought you were gonna say something else then. You're absolutely amazing in the darkroom. Let us know when you're next here.

William 0:18:32 William, you're absolutely amazing in Titanic, and so lovely at the stage door. Thank you. And Jordan, you smashed your role as the garden gnome.

Jordan 0:18:38 Oh, bless you, Emerus.

William 0:18:40 Emerus. Emerus.

Jordan 0:18:41 Am I saying that right?

William 0:18:42 Yes. I, um, I'm desperate to see Toy Story 5, but obviously I don't have a lot of free time at the moment. But I was wondering, can you, or maybe your dad, get me like a copy of it?

Jordan 0:18:50 No!

William 0:18:52 What?

Jordan 0:18:53 No, a legal one.

William 0:18:54 Just— or illegal.

Jordan 0:18:56 It'll be out on telly next year, I suppose. Go and see it instead.

William 0:18:59 Next year? I don't wanna work out— I don't wanna wait next year. I wanna see it now.

Jordan 0:19:01 Go and see it. A lot of people DM me saying, you've got more lines in it than what I thought.

William 0:19:05 And how many lines do you have?

Jordan 0:19:07 Quite a few.

William 0:19:08 Yeah, but can we quantify that?

Jordan 0:19:10 4, 5.

William 0:19:11 Okay. And how many does Shaun have?

Jordan 0:19:13 Similar.

William 0:19:14 Okay. I'm excited to see it, genuinely, 'cause I love— I mean, obviously bonus that you're in it, but I do actually really like the Toy Story films.

Jordan 0:19:22 So do I.

William 0:19:25 Yeah, I know. I know. I wasn't going to do a joke off the back of that.

Jordan 0:19:27 Well, I never know with you.

William 0:19:29 Han has some insight regarding the etiquette of overtaking hearses. Dear William and Jordan, in a recent episode, you spoke about hearses on motorways. I'm a funeral director, and yes, and family cars, the cortege, travel on all sorts of roads. We are recommended to go 10 miles below the speed limit of the road, but it's totally normal for cars to overtake us on dual carriageways or motorways. Please don't try to overtake or cut the cortege on a normal road though. Han.

Jordan 0:19:51 That's what I say! That's what I say!

William 0:19:54 Yeah, it's a single lane. You're—

Jordan 0:19:55 Don't try and overtake.

William 0:19:57 No, 'cause then you're in the middle of it.

Jordan 0:19:59 I know.

William 0:19:59 And it's rude. And that's just silly and disrespectful. John has messaged in after hearing us discuss escalator etiquette. Morning, I've just been listening to one of your recent episodes and there was a chat about why we stand on the right on the escalator on the Underground. It isn't actually to do with swords, but the design of early escalators. I love this. The escalator had a shunt, which refers to the— I beg your pardon? Shunt.

Jordan 0:20:22 Oh.

William 0:20:23 Which refers to the diagonal partition mechanism used on the very first London Underground escalators installed at Earl's Court in 1911.

Jordan 0:20:30 Oh, that's—

William 0:20:31 Just after 7 o'clock. The escalator steps disappeared beneath this partition at the top, physically shoving or shunting passengers off the stairs and forcing them to step off to the left. This historical mechanical feature dictates modern TfL etiquette. The shunt heavily influenced the way the London Underground network functions today. Stand on the right, walk on the left. Because the original 1911 shunt forced passengers to awkwardly exit to the left, passengers walking up the moving staircase naturally congregated on the left to avoid cutting across disembarking passengers.

Jordan 0:21:00 Oh, that's interesting.

William 0:21:01 Now we know John. Little John's Etiquette-omology of the Week. I love it. And Jen has messaged in after learning some surprising information from our podcast. Hi, Team Sexted. I only recently found podcast and have been doing a deep dive back on YouTube to catch up. So when I opened up YouTube on my board to a full class of pupils and the first suggested video for me was titled William Loves Dick, this prompted a lot of giggles.

Jordan 0:21:26 Oh no!

William 0:21:27 And inappropriate questions.

Jordan 0:21:28 Be careful.

William 0:21:29 Thought you might appreciate this story. Thank you for making me cry with laughter these few weeks. From Jen, the embarrassed and flustered teacher from Glasgow.

Jordan 0:21:36 Oh, it's Glasgow. They'll be used to that, kids.

William 0:21:38 I should clarify, I wasn't planning on showing them an episode. It was for educational purposes.

Jordan 0:21:42 Well, oh yeah, don't show this in any classes. In Glasgow, you'd be fine. Yeah. But don't show—

William 0:21:48 This is Key Stage 1 in Glasgow.

Jordan 0:21:50 Don't show any—

William 0:21:52 It's probably not. Do they do key stages in Scotland?

Jordan 0:21:54 Don't be horrible! Don't take it too far.

William 0:21:56 No, no, no, no, no. I said they might have a different educational— I wasn't doing that. Jeez, they might do a whole, you know, like they do different exams and—

Jordan 0:22:02 I'm gonna say it. My favourite place we go to on tour. Glasgow.

William 0:22:06 Is it?

Jordan 0:22:07 Probably, yeah. It's always a laugh.

William 0:22:08 Yeah, I prefer Edinburgh.

Jordan 0:22:10 That moment when you canny kick a granny off a bus came on. I don't know about you, but I suppose it's like when you first walked out into the West End. I felt like I knew my audience.

Jack 0:22:20 Glasgow were definitely Team Jordan.

Jordan 0:22:23 Yeah, they were, Jack.

William 0:22:25 And you know what, I'm fine with that.

Jordan 0:22:27 Edinburgh would be Team William, wouldn't they?

William 0:22:30 Well, I might do Edinburgh next year.

Jordan 0:22:31 Livingston would be Ben. Yeah. No.

William 0:22:37 Yeah. He'd be the Outer Hebrides. Not a lot going on.

Jordan 0:22:39 Let's finish. Where is he, by the way? On holiday.

William 0:22:44 Is he not here?

Jordan 0:22:44 Yeah, where— You wouldn't know it. Whereabouts? Is he in the Hebridibidges, what they're called?

William 0:22:48 In the what? The Outer Hebridibidges.

Jordan 0:22:50 Where's the Hebridibidges, what they're called?

William 0:22:52 The Outer Hebrides are in Scotland.

Jordan 0:22:53 Ah.

William 0:22:54 But he's not there.

Jordan 0:22:55 Okay. Let's finish with our comment of the week.

William 0:22:57 Alright.

Jordan 0:22:57 This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube, or any of our socials.

William 0:23:02 The honourable mentions go to Sigourney, who said, Weaver?

Jordan 0:23:05 Weaver? Oh, I know. She a G&D-er. She a G&D-er. Sigourney— what's she called? Sigourney Weaver.

William 0:23:12 Yeah, she is. Yeah. Jordan is 100% right about that spoiled, entitled little witch, aka Peppa Pig. She turned my child into a demon, and she was very quickly banned from my house/TV.

Jordan 0:23:23 Can I just say, we had a massive discussion, legal discussion in our WhatsApp group.

William 0:23:26 Well, it wasn't legal, because no lawyers were involved.

Jordan 0:23:28 I was like, this was a joke. saying that the show's problematic. And I was like, are we gonna get sued here?

William 0:23:34 Helen said, it took me a while to warm to it, but I love the new set now. Honestly, it's just a big change.

Jordan 0:23:41 Oh, Christ!

William 0:23:42 Jordan, don't be a bitch.

Jordan 0:23:44 I'm not, Helen. Sorry, it's just— carry on.

William 0:23:47 It's just a big change, and change can be hard to adjust to. Give everyone a chance and people will warm to it. Try not to take comments to heart. In a few years' time, if you change it again, everyone will be sad to lose this one.

Jordan 0:23:57 Exactly. We said we could have spent millions on this set, and people still wouldn't have liked it.

William 0:24:02 And trust us, we didn't.

Jordan 0:24:03 And look, you're speaking to someone here who is the king of hates change. Ask Jack. So, like, I get it. I get it. I hate change as well.

William 0:24:12 And our comment of the week goes to RJ, who said, Jordan's saying, just put me in a coffin in the church before everyone arrives. It'll be the first time he's early for something.

Jordan 0:24:21 That's a fair point.

William 0:24:23 That is a fair point.

Jordan 0:24:24 But the moment you say to me, you'll be late to your own funeral,

William 0:24:27 Well, and you will be. Yeah. Bless you. Although you never— you want to— what does my father always used to say? Better to be late in this life than early in the next.

Jordan 0:24:34 That's sweet.

William 0:24:36 It's nice.

Jordan 0:24:36 I'm gonna— you grew up with your dad saying that, and yet you treat me like shite every time I'm late.

William 0:24:42 I don't treat you like shite.

Jordan 0:24:44 It's not the stuff you say, it's more your actions and just how— Oh,

William 0:24:48 it's all coming out now, isn't it?

Jordan 0:24:49 Well, that pissed me off with the tube thing last week. And I have been so early and on time.

William 0:24:55 No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jordan 0:24:56 Of the past year.

William 0:24:57 That thing was— I think we were still in the old studio at that point. Not the old design, the old—

Jordan 0:25:02 That's because we used to come in in the mornings.

William 0:25:03 We did used to come in in the mornings.

Jordan 0:25:05 And that's—

William 0:25:07 yeah. Life was very different back then.

Jordan 0:25:09 It was.

William 0:25:10 Yeah.

Jordan 0:25:10 It was.

William 0:25:10 I'm sorry if that annoyed you.

Jordan 0:25:12 No, you didn't annoy me. I'm only joking. Don't be soft. I'm only joking.

William 0:25:15 Well, you said that.

Jordan 0:25:16 Oh, bless you. I was only— I didn't— you didn't annoy me.

William 0:25:18 I never want to upset you.

Jordan 0:25:20 No, are you being sincere?

William 0:25:21 No, no, no, I'm not being insincere. I'm being sincere.

Jordan 0:25:24 Oh, right. Well, that's very sweet. You've not annoyed me, I promise you. You've never annoyed me.

William 0:25:28 Thank you. Well, that's not true.

Jordan 0:25:30 This week.

William 0:25:31 All right.

Jordan 0:25:35 You can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or problem, Drop into our DMs or send us an email to help@sexandmyboss.com. We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to, so if that's you, get back in touch and we'll speak to you on Tuesday. Goodbye. Goodbye.