Jordan Gets A Filling | And Our Most Hated Cutlery

William 0:01:37 It's a fun jacket, isn't it?

Jordan 0:01:41 What's wrong with my jacket?

William 0:01:43 It's a bit, um, Top Gun.

Jordan 0:01:45 Guinness!

William 0:01:46 Well, yeah, I just think it's— yeah, but Top Gun, it's a bit— it's very maverick. And you are one really, aren't you?

Jordan 0:01:54 I am, especially with this tash.

William 0:01:56 Yes, well, we'll talk about that in a minute.

Jordan 0:01:58 And you're my Goose.

William 0:02:00 I'm sorry, I don't actually know what that means. Is that the one that dies?

Jordan 0:02:02 Don't give it away!

William 0:02:04 Oh, if people haven't watched it by now, then, you know.

Jordan 0:02:06 Talk to me, Goose. Still makes me cry every time. And then in the second one, it's Goose's son and the plane's about to crash and he goes— Ollie! Can we bloody record it, huh? I'm trying to tell a story! It's just, talk to me, Dad. It makes me cry. Start the bloody episode! Hello and welcome to our Friday episode, where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week, random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on, and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful GNDivas.

William 0:02:40 How are you?

Jordan 0:02:41 I'm good, you?

William 0:02:42 Yes. What sort of weekend have you got coming up?

Jordan 0:02:44 Oh, busy, busy one. Okay, Friday, going to my favourite restaurant. Okay. In London.

William 0:02:51 Lovely.

Jordan 0:02:51 It's called the Dover.

William 0:02:52 Oh, right, yes.

Jordan 0:02:54 Beautiful. So, I'm going there. You'd like it there, and I'll tell you for why. Because you get a martini.

William 0:03:00 Yeah.

Jordan 0:03:01 And he took it off, and it's like a New York.

William 0:03:03 It's where they change the glasses halfway through. Yeah.

Jordan 0:03:05 And he goes, can I tell a story about you?

William 0:03:07 Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

Jordan 0:03:08 And he went, no, we like your glasses to be cold here. And then, yeah, they change them halfway through.

William 0:03:14 Lovely, yes. They do that in a few places, but that's very nice. Oh, okay. It's a nice— no, but it's a really nice way of elevating. waiting because a martini is a slow drink. Yeah, it's cold. You don't really— I mean, they're meant to be slow, to be fair. I don't— not something I actually practice. You knock them back. I do. They come to change my glass and they go, oh, it's all gone.

Jordan 0:03:33 So I'm going there. You should go, you'd really like it there.

William 0:03:36 Yeah.

Jordan 0:03:36 It's like white tablecloths and stuff, like in New York. Lovely. So I'm going there. I'm gonna watch Niall Horan on Saturday.

William 0:03:42 Lovely.

Jordan 0:03:43 At the O2.

William 0:03:43 Oh yeah, he's performing.

Jordan 0:03:44 Yeah, yeah.

William 0:03:45 I'm just gonna go and sit in his sitting room.

Jordan 0:03:47 Paddle on Sunday, so nice weekend for me.

William 0:03:50 Lovely. Yeah, very nice. What are you gonna do? You need to take the week off.

Jordan 0:03:53 What about you?

William 0:03:54 Uh, what am I doing? Saturday I've got a dinner I'm going to with some friends, and Sunday, very busy day Sunday. I've got a lunch with my friend Jack, then I'm going to go to, uh, my friend Cameron from Titanic's birthday soiree that they're having in between the shows.

Jordan 0:04:09 Do you ever just stay at home?

William 0:04:10 And then I'm out for dinner with some other friends, Ellie and Michael, on Sunday where they're going to tell us the gender of their upcoming baby. It's a gender reveal, but over dinner. We're not doing balloons with confetti and anything like that, or cutting into a cake or blah. They're just telling us.

Jordan 0:04:26 2 people I've seen this week who told me they've had dinner with you.

William 0:04:29 Who?

Jordan 0:04:30 One was yesterday in the gym. James.

William 0:04:32 Yes.

Jordan 0:04:32 I seen James in the gym yesterday. He said you went round for dinner. We did, yes. Because they've just moved near you.

William 0:04:36 They have.

Jordan 0:04:37 It was very funny, actually. He said, yeah, we were We're really worried because it's like quite old and boring and not really any gays. He said, which suits William really well. Doesn't. And then Tom as well. You went for dinner with Tom. 2 Toms.

William 0:04:54 Oh yeah, the Toms. Yes, the gas gays.

Jordan 0:04:56 The gas gays.

William 0:04:57 Those that, uh, that went and helped get your— I owe you for that gas. You do. How much is it? £135.

Jordan 0:05:04 Okay, now it's going up, I'm sure. £135. Yeah.

William 0:05:07 Thank you. Well, should I send you my details again? Yes. You probably should have them stored. Just text it me. I keep saying you Text it me. Okay, fine.

Jordan 0:05:14 Not here now because we're working, but just text me saying, hey darling. Do one of your passive-aggressive texts you've not done in a while.

William 0:05:20 Okay.

Jordan 0:05:21 Say, hey, how are you? In case you haven't got them, here's my bank details.

William 0:05:25 Again. Yeah. Maybe I should phone your mum and get your mum to remind you.

Jordan 0:05:28 She's worse than me for remembrance. Oh, okay. Yeah. Where do you think I get it from?

William 0:05:34 Well, yeah.

Jordan 0:05:35 She's a woman that's lost more handbags and purses than— You've had men.

William 0:05:41 What? I mean, right, I'm just gonna leave that.

Jordan 0:05:43 Not that many then.

William 0:05:44 No, exactly. Thank you very much. Exactly. I was basically a nun in a former life. Anyway, recently I expressed my distaste for lobster skewers, lobster picks, when you had asked me what my least favourite piece of cutlery was. We asked our G&D-ers to share their most hated utensil. This is fantastic. It's literally the best thing I think we've ever done on this podcast. I love— this is what I live for. That sounds sarcastic. It's not.

Jordan 0:06:07 Okay.

William 0:06:07 Alma says, I'm Swedish and hate the cheese slicer. It's so ugly. Name me a more Swedish response.

Jordan 0:06:13 The cheese slicer in my house, though, I feel sorry for the cheese slicer because it— I don't— it doesn't have a place. It can be any cupboard in the house. Now, hang on.

William 0:06:22 When you say a cheese slicer—

Jordan 0:06:24 Oh, the grater.

William 0:06:25 Yeah. Well, that's not a slicer. I was thinking— a cheese slicer is almost like a tool that you would use to slice off a piece of Swiss cheese.

Jordan 0:06:33 Very Swedish.

William 0:06:34 If you're doing raclette or something like that.

Jordan 0:06:35 But the cheese grater, I feel so for. You can never You can't fecking find it when you need it. Doesn't have a place in my house. It's always in one drawer or the other, or cupboard.

William 0:06:45 The cheese grater. And have you got a collapsible one, or are you a solid one?

Jordan 0:06:49 You can get collapsible cheese graters.

William 0:06:51 You can, but I don't think they're very good because they collapse on you when you're grating, and then you've taken half your hand off.

Jordan 0:06:55 I'm very, very scared of cheese, grating cheese, but it's gotta be done.

William 0:06:58 No, I have a solid metal one that goes in the dishwasher.

Jordan 0:07:01 Dairy Lees are much safer cheese.

William 0:07:02 You don't need to grate that, do you?

Jordan 0:07:04 It's a royal family quote.

William 0:07:06 Okay. Timothy doesn't like his garlic crusher. They're a nightmare to clean.

Jordan 0:07:09 Again, I don't have one.

William 0:07:10 You don't have a garlic crusher?

Jordan 0:07:12 Just do it on the knife.

William 0:07:13 Yeah, but that— but how about if you're mincing the garlic? If you need to do minced garlic?

Jordan 0:07:18 You just crush it. Oh, I have that lazy garlic.

William 0:07:21 Of course you do say that. Hi guys. Hi guys. Hello, Ben.

Ben 0:07:25 I think that's a great shout from Jordan. You just need to smash the garlic. It's a lot. It's a game changer.

Jordan 0:07:30 Just do it. Use a mug. You can use a mug, you know. Smash it with your mutton.

William 0:07:34 Don't have those. Well, we do for trade, but not for anyone else. Dave doesn't like his potato masher.

Jordan 0:07:40 Oh, tradesman.

William 0:07:41 It always gets caught in the drawer.

Jordan 0:07:43 The masher's an awkward bugger. It is. I could talk about this all day.

William 0:07:48 Louise, and she's put an expletive here, a fucking can opener. It's hell for lefties and never works. No, see, not a problem for us. We don't have cans or tins.

Jordan 0:07:58 But surely you've got a can opener? You never—

William 0:08:01 I don't know the last time I opened a can.

Jordan 0:08:02 You don't open a can of—

William 0:08:03 Can of what?

Jordan 0:08:05 Rice pudding? Beans.

William 0:08:07 I'd make it. Nope, don't do beans.

Jordan 0:08:08 You don't do beans?

William 0:08:09 I like beans when I go out for breakfast.

Jordan 0:08:11 Tomatoes. Tinned tomatoes.

William 0:08:13 Ours are on a pole.

Ben 0:08:14 Coconut milk.

William 0:08:16 Oh, spot the person who lives in East London. Yeah, when we're doing our—

Jordan 0:08:21 Peaches.

William 0:08:21 Thai red chicken curry, we get the coconut milk out.

Jordan 0:08:28 Peaches.

William 0:08:28 Tinned, from a tin.

Jordan 0:08:31 On your shoes! Pledge! No, peaches.

William 0:08:36 I look like I'm a tinned peach sort of person.

Jordan 0:08:38 Hear me out, I prefer tinned peaches to normal peaches.

William 0:08:41 You haven't tried my peaches.

Jordan 0:08:43 Oh, just wait till you try my peach. Trust me. When you come round to mine next, you can get right in on my peach. It's the best. I'll put a bit of cream on it as well.

William 0:08:52 I think you'll find I'll be doing that.

Jordan 0:08:54 Yeah. Honestly, tinned peaches are the best.

Ben 0:08:57 What about sweet corn? What—

Jordan 0:08:59 I'm not a big sweet corn fan.

William 0:09:00 Green Giant. I do.

Ben 0:09:02 I hate tinned sweet corn.

Jordan 0:09:03 I hate sweet corn in general. I just had sweet corn downstairs. I think it ruins— I don't like— I'm not— it's not like onion fried corn.

Ben 0:09:09 Frozen sweet corn. Have you tried frozen sweet corn?

Jordan 0:09:10 I don't mind corn on cob.

William 0:09:12 Yes.

Jordan 0:09:13 But I don't like—

William 0:09:13 You said, I don't like corn on cob.

Jordan 0:09:14 I don't like sweet corn. Right, back to the utensils.

William 0:09:17 Holly, wooden cutlery makes everything taste funky. Well, yes. I mean, it's very—

Jordan 0:09:23 Plastic cutlery is shite.

William 0:09:24 Oh, yeah. Fine if— in Pret a Manger, all those sort of cafes. Oh, it's the worst. No, if you're having the odd thing.

Jordan 0:09:30 Yeah, but I got the chicken the other day. I was carving it up.

William 0:09:32 But if you're eating a proper meal, it needs to be metal cutlery. Andrew doesn't like his cheese grater. Going back to cheese graters.

Jordan 0:09:39 They're a bit like— how can I put this? They're a bit like Ben cheese graters. They don't quite know where they belong or who's their friends and stuff like that. They've just— I feel a bit sorry for them.

William 0:09:50 For cheese graters?

Jordan 0:09:51 Yeah.

Ben 0:09:51 So that's why you keep on going back to it.

Jordan 0:09:53 And then like they, they try and get like new haircuts to be cool and fit in and stuff, you know, and then they come in flat form.

William 0:09:59 Can you imagine people that do this?

Jordan 0:10:00 They just— it's just— I do feel they don't know their place yet, cheese graters. Fine. Yeah.

Ben 0:10:06 When has a cheese grater had a haircut?

Jordan 0:10:08 Well, I'm just saying they come in different forms sometimes. You're still like, you're a cheese grater, get over yourself. Right. Okay. Do you know what I mean? Like, you can get the flat ones, you get the ones now that cheese grate straight into Tupperware.

William 0:10:21 Just— Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jordan 0:10:22 You know what I mean?

William 0:10:23 Well, where'd you stand on this? Gem doesn't like melon ballers.

Jordan 0:10:27 What the hell's a melon baller? What the hell?

William 0:10:29 Well, it's for making balls of melon.

Jordan 0:10:30 You need an ice cream scoop. No one's—

William 0:10:33 well, it's— yeah, but it's smaller.

Jordan 0:10:34 A melon baller!

William 0:10:36 No one's made balls of melon since about 1978.

Jordan 0:10:40 Can I just say, out of all of the utensils, the melon baller sounds like an absolute top shagger. He's the one all the utensils are shagging. He's an absolute melon baller. Do you have one?

William 0:10:52 No, I don't actually. Not yet.

Jordan 0:10:54 You're gonna get one now, aren't you? Guess what we're having for dessert when we next go round for dinner?

William 0:10:58 No, it'll be first course, melon and Parma ham.

Jordan 0:11:02 Oh yes, a melon ball. Melon balls. Again, tinned melon, just as good.

William 0:11:06 No!

Jordan 0:11:07 I've never had tinned melon.

William 0:11:08 You have got the culinary palate of a 7-year-old.

Jordan 0:11:11 I've got a colour palette of a 7-year-old who grew up on an estate. Yes. I have to, like I said— But you can develop. No, every now and then I need the food. I say this—

William 0:11:21 Oh no, there's nothing wrong with comfort foods. I need the food that I grew up on.

Jordan 0:11:24 That's what it is. I've gotta have me Super Noodles in, I've gotta have me Dairy Lees, I've gotta have me Froot Loops. Like, you know, I've gotta have me shit in and I get panicky if they don't. Me Rocky Bars, you know, that type of thing.

William 0:11:36 Rocky Bars?

Jordan 0:11:37 Yeah, I've gotta have me Dairy Lee slice in.

William 0:11:39 What's a Rocky Bar?

Jordan 0:11:40 You've never had a Rocky Bar?

William 0:11:42 Oh yes, Jack types that down for next week.

Jordan 0:11:45 Right, we'll have a Rocky—

William 0:11:46 Maybe I should sit here and go, I've never been in a Ferrari. I've never flown a private jet. And you'll just sort of write it down. It'll happen. We'll do it for a bonus next week.

Jordan 0:11:59 15 years we've been doing this podcast, and you still—

William 0:12:02 We have not been doing it 15 years.

Jordan 0:12:04 You never cease to amaze me. A Rocky bar. Have you had a Wagon Wheel?

Ben 0:12:06 Did not know what you were gonna say there.

William 0:12:09 I thought you were gonna say something else.

Jordan 0:12:11 What did you thought I was gonna say? I thought you were gonna say something else, A wank.

William 0:12:17 A wasp.

Jordan 0:12:18 Right, wagon wheel, gold bar.

William 0:12:20 Gold bar?

Jordan 0:12:21 Viscount. Penguin. Have you ever had a penguin?

William 0:12:23 I have had a penguin.

Jordan 0:12:24 Help me out here. What about all those foxes ones? Those posh ones?

William 0:12:28 Don't you get most of your jokes from the penguins?

Jordan 0:12:29 Blue ribbons. Blue ribbon. Have you ever had a blue ribbon? They're not called blue ribbons. They're not? Oh no, there's not a ribbon round them. It's like a Mandela effect or something. Anyway, utensils.

William 0:12:39 Char doesn't like her egg wash brush. An arse to clean. Well, you give us an arse, and we'll clean it.

Jordan 0:12:46 I've only just recently ordered one of them. Oh my God.

William 0:12:49 An egg wash brush.

Jordan 0:12:50 I didn't know they were called that.

Speaker F 0:12:51 I've only ordered and cleaned my arse with an egg wash brush.

William 0:12:56 On the basis that you're putting your phone in the gusset of your pants, I think your arse really does need to be cleaned.

Jordan 0:13:02 Honestly, that—

William 0:13:04 yeah. Talking of your egg wash brush that you've just ordered—

Jordan 0:13:07 I got 2.

William 0:13:08 Have you gone silicone? Or bristles?

Jordan 0:13:10 Both.

William 0:13:11 You've gone for both? You've ordered 2 egg washers. Who needs 2 egg washers? How many scones are you brushing the top of?

Jordan 0:13:17 I've had a good month, so I thought I'll treat myself to 2. They're about £1.99 each.

William 0:13:21 Yeah, they're not expensive. But I go—

Jordan 0:13:24 I ordered them and not used them.

William 0:13:24 I go silicone, 'cause they're easier to clean.

Jordan 0:13:26 Oh, are they?

William 0:13:26 Yeah, personally. Okay. Just straight into the dishwasher. What did I order them for?

Jordan 0:13:29 What was I washing?

William 0:13:30 Tops of pies.

Jordan 0:13:31 I can't remember, but I had to use my fingers and thought— I'm gonna get an egg wash brush.

Ben 0:13:38 Washing your arse.

William 0:13:39 Yeah. Molly—

Jordan 0:13:42 What do you wash your arse with, silicone or bristles?

William 0:13:46 Kyle says, honing rod hurts during anal. What's a honing rod?

Jordan 0:13:52 What's anal? What's a honing rod?

Speaker G 0:13:55 With a knife, you go like—

William 0:13:57 Can we on Patreon? Can I show him anal? Is that an idea?

Jordan 0:14:02 There's our bonus for next week.

William 0:14:03 You can take my bonus. What is a honing rod?

Speaker G 0:14:07 A metal thing that you scrape— Sharpening knife.

William 0:14:09 Oh, a sharpening knife, Ben. This is your area of expertise.

Jordan 0:14:10 They're always good, I think.

Ben 0:14:11 Although they're not very good for your knife.

Jordan 0:14:13 Are they not?

Ben 0:14:13 Yep.

Jordan 0:14:14 Through my research. Oh, you've been on your knife sharpening course, Ben. I would be careful.

Ben 0:14:18 I mean, it does do a job, but it can damage your knife as well, is what I've heard.

William 0:14:21 Okay. Molly on Patreon says soup spoons. The shape makes her uncomfortable. Lorcan says the knives you get on planes. Yes, generally airport cutlery is— airport or airline cutlery is pretty grim.

Jordan 0:14:32 Not being funny though. Yeah. But I want my cutlery on planes to be shit and blunt.

William 0:14:36 Yeah, because—

Jordan 0:14:37 'Cause, you know.

William 0:14:38 Yeah.

Jordan 0:14:38 Yeah.

William 0:14:39 Yes.

Ben 0:14:40 But why in airports are the knives and forks really small?

William 0:14:43 They're like smaller than my nose. Yeah, they're also small, which is weird. Maybe some of our aviation listeners will know the answer to that as well. And of course, many people of course said what was their least favourite kitchen utensil. Think about it.

Jordan 0:14:57 Wendy? Potato peeler.

William 0:14:59 Indeed, yes.

Jordan 0:15:00 Excuse me, no, potato peelers are great.

William 0:15:02 I think they're just saying that for the sake of it. Oh, okay. There was also great debate around spoon sizes. Half of our listeners love a big spoon.

Jordan 0:15:09 No, I don't.

William 0:15:10 Whereas the other half love a little spoon.

Jordan 0:15:11 I've got a— my big spoons are quite little, so I've got a little big spoon. Does that make sense?

William 0:15:15 Of course yours would be different. Yeah. Yeah. The little spoon gets in all the nooks and crannies, whereas the big spoon can do more, apparently. So, there we go.

Jordan 0:15:23 Do you have cereal with a big spoon or a little spoon?

William 0:15:25 I don't have cereal.

Jordan 0:15:25 Oh, God.

William 0:15:26 But I would have a dessert spoon. A yoghurt? I would have a yoghurt with a dessert spoon.

Jordan 0:15:31 You wouldn't have it with a teaspoon?

William 0:15:32 No.

Jordan 0:15:33 Lasts longer.

William 0:15:35 Well, you're like Alan Sugar with his tiny fork diet. Can you remember when he did that? And he came out and said that's how he'd lost all the weight, is that he would have a little tiny fork and he'd eat everything much slower, and that's how he lost weight. Look it up. Alan Sugar. No, no, no.

Jordan 0:15:48 I do remember that.

William 0:15:49 Tiny fork diet. Oh God. In fact, actually, before we do this, let's— I just want to do something else that isn't on the script. I asked Ben downstairs what he thinks, now it's about a month in, of his new haircut. Yeah. Which we discussed previously on our episodes. Danny Coburn, one of our dancers from the tour, inspired. Ben, how are you finding your hair? Just do a little recap.

Jordan 0:16:13 It's a bit Justin Bieber today, if you ask me.

Ben 0:16:16 Yeah, I'm finding it good.

William 0:16:17 You're liking it?

Ben 0:16:18 Yeah, I am liking it. Thanks. Yeah.

William 0:16:19 And of course, it went out there in the— I've got a fringe now. You have got a fringe. It went out into the public domain that you were inspired by Danny, my body double, one of our dancers from the tour. On a scale of 1 to 10, how annoyed would you be if I had sent a photograph to Danny Coburn for his reaction?

Ben 0:16:44 Uh, 9 out of 10?

Jordan 0:16:45 Well, we'll play it. Oh, what? Benny's daddy from the tour? You're what, girl? You're Sisix from Ithics? It's daddy! Oh, fuck! He's gonna kill me when I see him.

William 0:16:56 Yeah, he is.

Jordan 0:16:56 Go on, play it.

Speaker H 0:16:57 Oh, that is the cutest thing ever! Sorry, you can probably hear the waves because I'm in Seychelles because I'm that bitch. Oh, but that is so fucking cute. Guys, I love you and I miss you so much.

William 0:17:15 Aww, there we go. He then— he did then follow up with, he needs some wax in that bitch though.

Ben 0:17:20 Okay, I'm fuming. What did you say to him? What did I say to him?

William 0:17:25 Yeah, what was your text? I said— Little ratbag.

Ben 0:17:30 It's the last time I trust you.

William 0:17:31 And then you can shove it— Ben, be nice. I said, hello, me again, 'cause I'd been messaging about something else. I need a favour. Well, I had been. Don't laugh!

Jordan 0:17:40 What's going on?

William 0:17:43 No, we both work for the same theatre piece. He's bloody into DMs. I need a favour from you if you are— DM? I don't DM people. This is on text. Producer Ben has copied your haircut. Brilliant. He went to his barber and showed your hair and asked for inspiration. Cute. You're a style inspiration. Can you please send me a voice note or video at some point by Thursday reacting? it so we can use it on Sex Ed. But no issue if you don't fancy it. And he did fancy it. And he did fancy it.

Ben 0:18:10 So, well, I remember being stood downstairs and I said, don't tell Danny.

William 0:18:16 Yep.

Ben 0:18:17 The dancer from the tour. You said, don't worry. No.

William 0:18:20 Yes. And I was honouring that. And then last week on the podcast where you then talked about it, I thought, well, it's fair game. You said it. So I did.

Ben 0:18:27 You coerced me into saying it.

William 0:18:30 Coerced? Well, Ben, I think you should— it's gone down well. It looks good on you. It looks good on Danny. Take the win.

Jordan 0:18:36 Alright, we'll go to a break, and we've got more of your emails, messages, and letters after this.

William 0:21:44 Welcome back, GNDivas. Let's go to the responses. Dr. Carey gives his professional verdict on whether dentists can tell if their patients have been giving head. Hello, William Jordan, EPB, Gen Z Lizzie, question mark, question mark, question mark, Izzy, Diego, et al. Greetings from Los Angeles, and thank you for all the laughs and keeping me company during my long drive in LA traffic. I'm a dentist in Southern California and thought I could add a little clarity to your— He's busy.

Jordan 0:22:11 They love the teeth, don't they?

William 0:22:12 Yes, they do. Add a little clarity to your discussion regarding the oral presentation of the consequences of fellatio. The medical diagnosis is referred to as palatial— oh God.

Jordan 0:22:23 Go on, use your words.

William 0:22:27 Palatal petechiae.

Jordan 0:22:31 Okay.

William 0:22:31 P-E-T-E-C-H-I-A-E.

Jordan 0:22:34 Right.

William 0:22:35 Which is a Submucosal haemorrhage or bruising of the palate from trauma. While not overly common clinically, when we do see it, it's a safe space and your secret is safe with us. Thank you again for bringing the laughter to my work week, Dr. Carey.

Jordan 0:22:50 Told you. They know when you've had a— I was saying, Izzy, I don't think you were here for last week's recording.

William 0:22:57 No, she was incomplete.

Jordan 0:22:58 Saying if you've— Surprising letter, aren't they? They're saying if you've— dentists can tell if you've recently given head, apparently. If it's been enthusiastically.

William 0:23:12 Yes.

Jordan 0:23:13 Yeah. They can see a bit of damage at the back of the throat. One of them told me it once.

William 0:23:18 Yeah. Just open your mouth. Anonymous.

Jordan 0:23:22 One of them told me, I was like, oh, you must be looking at my teeth.

William 0:23:24 Anonymous has an update for us after finding his dad's X-rated Twitter account. Oh, I remember this.

Jordan 0:23:31 Oh, yeah.

William 0:23:31 Hello, Jordan, William, and the team. A few weeks ago, I wrote in to ask, what do you do if I found my dad's secret Twitter account. I finally plucked up the courage to talk to him about it in the car a few weeks ago. I told him I found his account, and at first he played dumb. I told him no one should see what I saw. He finally admitted to having the other account, and when I asked who the woman was, he said it was one of his lady friends. I should have left it there, but I quizzed him, and apparently he has quite a few lady friends. Is he single? Well, I assume so. I can't believe my 70-plus-year-old dad has a better sex life than me. I asked about my stepmum, And she— oh, and he said she knew and didn't mind. Anyway, he said he wouldn't delete the account, but would make it private. It's taken me a while to process all of this, and I needed to confide in someone. Well, thank you for confiding in us. Well, thank you for—

Jordan 0:24:16 that's what we're here for. We are your 2 mates that you listen to every week, I hope. And yeah, it's fine. People over 70 have sex.

William 0:24:22 They do. There's hope for us.

Jordan 0:24:25 There you go.

William 0:24:26 There's hope for you, Stu. He's got— Sorry.

Jordan 0:24:36 That was good.

William 0:24:36 David has some intel from our enemies across the room about affogato.

Jordan 0:24:42 Affogato, yes.

William 0:24:43 Jordan, your studio cohabitee, John Robbins— what does he do?

Jordan 0:24:50 He does that podcast. Literally, you can see the studio from here.

William 0:24:53 Oh, it's within spitting distance.

Jordan 0:24:55 It's like we're kind of like Lorraine and This Morning, we're in the same studio. We just move sets, don't we?

William 0:25:03 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your studio cohabitant, John Robbins, junior partner in The Ellis and John Show, once shared on air that he invented the McAffogato. It's where you pour an espresso over a McFlurry, and hey presto, a McAffogato.

Jordan 0:25:17 Oh!

William 0:25:17 This will surely help your campaign to bring sophisticated Italian desserts to the masses. Enjoy, David.

Jordan 0:25:23 McAffogato.

William 0:25:25 Oh, I tried that.

Jordan 0:25:27 Definitely.

William 0:25:27 Well, I believe we might be trying it now. Get away!

Jordan 0:25:30 Oh, go on. Oh, yes. Oh, hang on.

William 0:25:32 Sorry, what is that?

Jordan 0:25:33 It's a McFlurry. Candy Crush one. When did you buy this last week? Jesus.

William 0:25:37 I thought it was just ice cream.

Jordan 0:25:38 Right, so you just pour it over.

William 0:25:40 Is that hot? Yeah. Oh, that's going to— Right, Jordan's trying it now. A Candy Crush McFlurry.

Jordan 0:25:48 Mm. Mm. I've just had a filling yesterday. Where?

William 0:25:55 At the dentist, of course. At the dentist, yeah.

Jordan 0:26:05 Same fucking jokes, 8 years, and he still makes me laugh.

William 0:26:08 Not the only hot white liquid you've had at the back of your mouth this week.

Jordan 0:26:11 Oh my God.

William 0:26:12 Can I have some, please?

Jordan 0:26:13 That is fantastic. Honestly, that's amazing.

William 0:26:16 Don't credit John Robbins with anything.

Jordan 0:26:21 We're sharing the same spoon. Pass that.

William 0:26:25 Oh, it's not for me.

Jordan 0:26:25 That's for me. Right, that's gonna be my new thing. It's affogato, nobody's heard of it.

William 0:26:30 No, it's not affogato, it's affogato. Nobody's heard of it.

Jordan 0:26:34 Is he taking away from me? I've gotta be good.

William 0:26:36 Do you think if you ever go on holiday, if you ever break the mould and don't go to Spain, you go to Italy on holiday, you're gonna be walking around going, I started this.

Jordan 0:26:42 I will. Unless you're Italian.

William 0:26:45 You're gonna go up to some nonna in a cafe and go, this was me!

Jordan 0:26:50 I'll be like, hey, credit's due where credit's due, love. You come up with it, but I'm— I made it big in the UK because I talked about it on Capital Breakfast and Help I Sexed My Boss.

Ben 0:27:00 Just like picky teas.

William 0:27:02 And happy places.

Jordan 0:27:04 Which, by the way, I was, uh, I was on Countdown about. They talked about it. You know Susie Dent from Countdown?

William 0:27:12 Know her well.

Jordan 0:27:13 She credited me with—

William 0:27:15 Did she?

Jordan 0:27:15 Not coming up with the term pickities, but making it popular.

William 0:27:18 Ah, well, there we go.

Ben 0:27:20 On the show, or on Countdown?

Jordan 0:27:21 On Countdown.

William 0:27:23 Finally, Jordan, it would seem Georgia has clocked us out in Naples. Oh, home of the affogato. Hello, William, Jordan, and the team.

Jordan 0:27:31 I've never been to Naples.

William 0:27:32 You'd love it. They're having affogatos left, right, and centre now. I spotted this sign in an Aperol Spritz bar during a recent trip to Naples, and it reminded me of you both. Long-lost brothers, maybe? With love and grazie mille for the endless laughs, Georgia in Sheffield. I mean, that does look a little bit like us.

Jordan 0:27:48 Oh my God, that is scary. Birria del Centro, it's a picture.

William 0:27:54 Birria del— Joe!

Jordan 0:27:59 Get that up on the carousel, please!

William 0:28:00 Yes, I don't know who's that— that is more of a drive-by on, you or me. There we go.

Jordan 0:28:07 I think it looks— that looks like you. That's a double of you. That's freaky.

William 0:28:12 Doesn't look like me recently.

Jordan 0:28:13 It looks like a Russian version of you.

William 0:28:15 Yes, it does. And we're there with our steins.

Jordan 0:28:20 Let's finish with our comment of the week. This can be a comment from Spotify, YouTube, or any of our socials.

William 0:28:25 The honourable mentions. Restomania on Spotify said, babes, I hate to say it, but the mini crossword should be under a minute.

Jordan 0:28:32 I've not even done it since—

William 0:28:33 I've noticed, yeah. Matt on YouTube said, Ben looks like he could be a character in a Roald Dahl book. Presumably The Twits.

Jordan 0:28:40 Fantastic Mr.

Ben 0:28:41 Fox.

Jordan 0:28:42 James and the Giant Peach? He could be the peach.

William 0:28:44 The peach? Have you seen— have you seen— Or the worm.

Jordan 0:28:46 The worm, yeah.

Ben 0:28:48 Is there a worm in The Giant Peach?

Jordan 0:28:49 I used to love that film as a kid.

Ben 0:28:51 The massive rhino cloud. That was terrifying.

Jordan 0:28:54 Those Roald Dahl films were— oh, he's met himself.

William 0:28:58 Jack and I just shared a— we both thought of the same joke at the same time. What's the joke then? Listen back to the end. Oh god, no.

Jordan 0:29:04 No?

William 0:29:05 I can't remember what you said. Am I the worm? Is there a worm in the giant peach?

Jordan 0:29:13 Well, if it made you laugh, love. Jack and I found it very funny.

William 0:29:16 We're having a great time. But our comment of the week goes to Phutty on YouTube. Is that their birth name?

Jordan 0:29:22 Phutty.

William 0:29:23 Phutty, P-H-U-T-T-Y. It's like Dotty, Phutty, Chew. Bless Jordan. So many of the conversations he starts play out exactly like the ones between little kids and adults.

Jordan 0:29:32 Excuse me, take it up with Fatty. Fatty? You can fut up. Fatty? That's— I'm 36, I can hold my own in a conversation with 7-year-olds.

Ben 0:29:46 I think you're, you're the adult and William's the little boy.

William 0:29:49 Yeah, make a change.

Jordan 0:29:51 If you want to get in touch about something that isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs, or you can send us an email to help@sexwithmyboss.com. Come.

William 0:29:59 And if 2 episodes a week of Sex Ed isn't enough for you, and it's not enough for me, let me tell you, then why not check out our Patreon channel, Help I Sex Ed My Boss Out of Office? Ooh! Ooh!

Jordan 0:30:10 Has that got an iron yet?

William 0:30:10 Not yet. For ad-free— I'll give it 2 weeks. For ad-free listening and an extra brand new episode every Wednesday.

Jordan 0:30:15 Yeah, we do a little bonus episode on there, on Patreon. We also love hearing back from people we offer advice to. So if that's you, get back in touch. I'll speak to you on Tuesday.

William 0:30:23 Goodbye.

Jordan 0:30:24 Bye-bye.