Fancy Dress Fantasies | And Dry Humping

Jordan 0:01:00 Hello and welcome to our Friday episode. This is where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week. Random things that have been sent in, extra bits that have been going on, and how our advice went down with you, our GND-ers.

William 0:01:21 How are you? What are you doing this weekend? Any football matches?

Jordan 0:01:24 Well, obviously you've got the World Cup now, aren't we? No, that you're in. Oh no. None that I'm in, but, uh,

William 0:01:32 was soccer a part of the World Cup?

Jordan 0:01:34 No, you daft git, no. Um, what am I doing this weekend? Oh, I've got, uh, what am I doing? I think I'm doing padel on Saturday, and I've got me mate Rick coming down with kids on Sunday.

William 0:01:45 Lovely. I'm

Jordan 0:01:45 gonna take them to see Toy Story. Oh no, the godchildren.

William 0:01:49 Anything to boost sales.

Jordan 0:01:50 Yeah, the godchildren.

Ben 0:01:52 Hi guys, do you get a slice of the profit from Toy Story if it does really well?

Jordan 0:01:55 Absolutely not. No, no.

Ben 0:01:59 Need a better agent.

Jordan 0:02:00 Yeah. Oh well, I will, uh, I will pass that. You are picking battles this week, first with William and now with the agent.

William 0:02:08 Interesting approach.

Jordan 0:02:10 Yeah, very interesting approach. Oh, sorry, how are you? How's your weekend looking?

William 0:02:16 I'm working, aren't I?

Jordan 0:02:17 Yeah,

William 0:02:18 as I am for the next 6 weeks.

Jordan 0:02:20 You're a West End girl, aren't you?

William 0:02:21 Yeah, double shows on the weekends.

Jordan 0:02:23 Oh, how many, how many are you doing this weekend?

William 0:02:25 2— well,

Jordan 0:02:26 4.

William 0:02:26 4?

Jordan 0:02:27 What time's the Saturday show?

William 0:02:29 Saturday show is 2:30.

Jordan 0:02:30 Till?

William 0:02:31 We're finished. And then the next show, the evening show, 7:30.

Jordan 0:02:36 What do you do in the gap? Chat.

William 0:02:39 Yeah, get food. Yeah. Probably get a martini. Pop out.

Jordan 0:02:45 Wow.

William 0:02:46 Yeah. I don't know, I don't, because at the time of recording I haven't done it yet, so I haven't— I don't know.

Jordan 0:02:49 I'd like to know that. They graft, those WestEnders.

William 0:02:52 Oh yes, they do.

Jordan 0:02:53 They're on once every weekend, there's obviously no

William 0:02:55 Can't

Jordan 0:02:55 have a life at the weekend, can you?

William 0:02:57 No, one day off a week, Monday.

Jordan 0:02:58 Fair enough.

William 0:03:00 Yeah. Now, last week, we featured a dilemma from a Geendever who had dressed up as Doctor Who for his wife. His plans went awry when he arrived home in his new outfit and started talking dirty to her without realising her parents were in the next room.

Jordan 0:03:13 How can you talk dirty as Doctor Who? That still baffles me.

William 0:03:16 And could hear everything. Now, we are obviously— we know this. We're not a sex podcast.

Jordan 0:03:21 We're not a sex podcast. We cannot stress that enough. We do all sorts of dilemmas. We had briefcases last week.

William 0:03:28 Yes, on Tuesday. It did make us, however, wonder who our listeners' fictional character fancy dress fantasies are. So we asked. So we'll see what we can make of your filthy little perversions, it says here. The most common suggestion was Ghostface from Scream. A black cloak and rubber mask. Obviously, I'm halfway there with my opera cape, but I've never used it sexually.

Jordan 0:03:52 Did you never wear Scream as Halloween?

William 0:03:53 I didn't do Halloween. I've never done Halloween.

Jordan 0:03:56 You never dressed up for Halloween as a kid?

William 0:03:58 Never.

Jordan 0:03:59 Oh my God, that explains a lot.

William 0:04:00 We didn't. We lived in the middle of nowhere.

Jordan 0:04:01 Yeah, but you could still dress up at school.

William 0:04:03 We didn't go to school.

Jordan 0:04:03 At local estate and go trick-or-treating. Yeah, no.

William 0:04:07 Yeah, just kidding. Well, what did you dress up as?

Jordan 0:04:10 Oh, all sorts. Did Scream. I went as Scarecrow. Me and Wendy often used to clash at Halloween.

William 0:04:14 Scarecrow? What, from Wizard of Oz?

Jordan 0:04:15 I know, I told you this before.

William 0:04:17 You went as the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz?

Jordan 0:04:19 as a scarecrow.

William 0:04:20 Yeah, but come on, it was— knowing you, it was Wizard of Oz.

Jordan 0:04:23 No, it wasn't. It was just—

William 0:04:24 Oh my god! Actually, you and your brothers could be the perfect— all of you. One of you could be Dorothy.

Jordan 0:04:30 Who could that be?

William 0:04:30 Answers on the back of a postcard who that is. Scarecrow, Tin Man, and the Lion.

Jordan 0:04:35 Oh yeah. Should've never did— well, I went as a scarecrow.

William 0:04:37 And then get the dog. What's the dog called, Kate? Can be Toto.

Jordan 0:04:41 Oh yeah. Yeah. So I went, she put a broom in me arm. Right, and then she stuffed me with straw and stuff, but my dad was away and she didn't drive, so I had to walk to a mate. By the time I walked there, all straw had come out, so it was just this kid with a broom.

William 0:04:55 By the end of it, you look like Jesus.

Jordan 0:04:57 Couldn't get through the door, so I had to go through doors like this. We used to clap. Me and Wendy used to have what, what we now laugh at and call creative differences over food tech and Halloween. Or we used to fall out somewhat rotten over food tech.

William 0:05:12 A few people mentioned Spider-Man. Now, I wonder if they've listened to our episode from 2022, which featured a G&D-er who ended up cheating on their boyfriend with his cousin while he was dressed as Spider-Man.

Jordan 0:05:22 Jesus Christ.

Ben 0:05:23 We've all been there.

William 0:05:24 Yeah.

Jordan 0:05:25 We've had some— we've had some weird— I can't remember. I vaguely remember that.

William 0:05:29 Yeah, it was like— yeah, yeah. I mean, at the time, that was— we thought that was the most outrageous thing that someone could write in.

Jordan 0:05:36 Probably still is up there. Shagging your cousin as Spider-Man.

William 0:05:38 Hmm,

Ben 0:05:39 yeah.

Jordan 0:05:39 Yeah, it's still up

William 0:05:42 there. Roxy has a thing for Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks, the nerdy one with glasses.

Jordan 0:05:49 Simon Theodore.

William 0:05:51 Roosevelt too.

Jordan 0:05:54 Yeah. Wait, the Chipmunks? My dad hated that one.

William 0:05:58 Really? Why?

Jordan 0:05:59 'Cause the voices used to do his head in.

William 0:06:01 What, the squeaky voices?

Jordan 0:06:01 He'd be like, I can't be doing with that! Turn it off, turn it off! He loved Simpsons. I'm rewatching all the Simpsons at the moment. The old ones, they're class. He loved all the Simpsons.

William 0:06:08 How did you have the time?

Jordan 0:06:10 When I get home from work.

Ben 0:06:12 Ah, bliss hour.

Jordan 0:06:12 Before my tea.

William 0:06:13 Do you still do your bliss hour? You don't really talk about that anymore.

Jordan 0:06:15 I don't do bliss hour for donkeys, as you can tell. I look like shit.

William 0:06:19 You don't look like shit.

Jordan 0:06:21 I do, I look like shit at the moment, but, um—

Ben 0:06:23 That's the red.

Jordan 0:06:24 But he loved Arthur.

William 0:06:29 Okay, yeah.

Jordan 0:06:30 Uh, he loved— he liked Hey Arnold. Oh, he loved Kenan and Kel. He really liked Johnny Bravo, which says a lot.

William 0:06:38 Hmm.

Jordan 0:06:38 Okay. I never liked Alvin and the Chipmunks.

William 0:06:40 Claire would like her husband to dress as Father Christmas as he's her perfect man. Only comes once a year? What? I don't— why? Why is that? I don't get it.

Ben 0:06:49 He works hard, doesn't he, Father Christmas? He looks after—

Jordan 0:06:52 He works all year round, to be fair.

Ben 0:06:53 Mrs. Claus?

Jordan 0:06:55 Yeah, give him his due. He's got all elves to look after. Give him his due.

William 0:06:58 All right. Fair. Sorry.

Ben 0:06:59 He runs a tight ship, but very fairly, I'd say.

Jordan 0:07:02 Thank you, Ben.

William 0:07:03 Ellie's dream is Bob Belcher from Bob's Burgers. Who the dickens is that?

Jordan 0:07:07 Oh yeah.

William 0:07:08 Is that a Simpsons thing?

Jordan 0:07:10 No, it's Bob's Burgers. Bob's Burgers. It's a cartoon. Okay.

William 0:07:15 It's

Jordan 0:07:15 like an adult cartoon.

William 0:07:17 Ed would love someone dressing up as Mr Tumble.

Jordan 0:07:20 He's taken now, innit, Mr Tumble?

William 0:07:21 Isn't he from CBeebies?

Jordan 0:07:23 Yeah. Do you know he can sell out arenas?

William 0:07:25 That's Justin Fletcher.

Jordan 0:07:26 Yeah. Yeah. As well. Mums love him. Mums love him mainly because he can keep kids quiet for half an hour. Well, yeah. Mums

William 0:07:35 love him. Well, good.

Jordan 0:07:36 Who's the other one? She's like a bazillionaire, Miss Rachel.

William 0:07:39 Oh yeah, yeah, I've heard of her.

Jordan 0:07:41 Oh yeah, you get in. I remember going around to Brad's to see him at kids and she's on. It's like, hey everybody, now we're gonna teach you how to do Incy Wincy Spider climbed up. Then you're watching, going, who is she? I have 5 minutes, you're like— I can't do Incy Wincy Spider, by the way. I could never do it as a kid. Could you?

William 0:08:00 No.

Jordan 0:08:01 Incy Wincy spider climbed up the wall.

William 0:08:04 We used to do Shakespeare sonnets.

Jordan 0:08:05 Down came the rain and washed—

William 0:08:08 Oh, that's— we have a dance move entirely like that.

Jordan 0:08:10 How long was that? God.

Ben 0:08:12 7 minutes in.

Jordan 0:08:14 7 minutes in.

Ben 0:08:15 Is that real?

Jordan 0:08:16 Well… Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. No, you own it. Go on, who else?

William 0:08:23 Sarah loves the idea of someone dressed up as the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera.

Jordan 0:08:27 I get it. That could be quite hot. Yeah. Little half mask.

William 0:08:32 Well, yeah, although he has a full mask.

Jordan 0:08:34 Dum dum dum dum!

William 0:08:35 Not Phantom.

Speaker F 0:08:36 Dum dum dum dum!

Jordan 0:08:37 Yeah, it is.

William 0:08:38 No, it's not.

Jordan 0:08:39 What was that one then?

William 0:08:40 Well, that's— Dracula. That's not Dracula. I can't remember what that is. Dum dum dum dum! Phantom is da da da da da da.

Jordan 0:08:47 Da da da da da. Dum dum dum dum dum.

William 0:08:51 No! You just sound dum dum dum dum dum at the moment.

Jordan 0:08:56 Da da da da. No! Da da da da. It's hurt me throat, that. That old Phantom. Right at the back of me throat, that Phantom.

William 0:09:11 Well, he gets everywhere. I was— I do think now— I'm sorry, you're all gonna go beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. I know in my head, I know my favourite game to play is which role are they gonna offer me next? And, uh, Hairspray. Oh yeah, maybe.

Jordan 0:09:29 Oh, you'd be great in Hairspray.

William 0:09:29 Phantom.

Jordan 0:09:32 You'd be good.

William 0:09:33 I mean, it's— I can't sing a note, but it amuses me to think that I could be cast as Phantom of the Opera.

Jordan 0:09:38 I think there's other roles out there for you, Ben.

Ben 0:09:41 I was gonna say, I think we should put it out to the GND-ers. What roles? What role is Ben Williams' future?

William 0:09:46 Seriously, you're nonsense. And also, for balance, Jordan. And it did make me think,

Jordan 0:09:51 I'm not doing West End. I ain't got a dance move in me.

William 0:09:54 No, obviously, you know, I could play tall, statuesque roles. You, you could play Paddington.

Ben 0:10:01 Or is it Mr Tumble? Mr North? Children's entertainer?

Jordan 0:10:08 I mean, it's like— also, can the shithouse G&D-ers— I've just remembered, can you stop commenting on Soccer Aid posts going, well, that was good for 20 years. Now since I've been on it, have you seen all the posts? I've actually been asked by someone from Soccer Aid And then all the G&Ders stop saying— every time I'm on somewhere going, oh, well, Suckerade was good. Well, that's it.

William 0:10:28 No, in their defence, the Wheel is still going.

Jordan 0:10:31 Yes.

William 0:10:32 And you appeared on that last year with me.

Jordan 0:10:33 This Morning, I'm on all the time.

William 0:10:35 This Morning— you're not on This Morning. When was the last time you did This Morning?

Jordan 0:10:38 I was on recently for Summertime Ball.

William 0:10:40 Oh, were you? Okay, fine. That's still going. This is still going.

Jordan 0:10:44 Yeah, not everything.

William 0:10:46 You've come on Luxury Podcast. We're still going.

Ben 0:10:48 I think it's fantastic work from the G&Ders. I don't. I think keep doing it.

Jordan 0:10:53 They're doing it with Toy Story 5 as well!

Ben 0:10:56 Well, I mean, isn't that true? I mean, I swear every Toy Story, they say it's the last Toy Story.

Jordan 0:11:00 Oh my god, oh well, this was good for the last Toy Story. Anyway, go on, dressing up. Who else we got?

William 0:11:04 Abi's ex asked them to dress up as the Hairy Fairy while he was Camp Man.

Jordan 0:11:09 I don't know if that's true, but I hope it is.

William 0:11:10 Okay.

Jordan 0:11:11 I hope that's true.

William 0:11:12 And Rach messaged to say, regarding sexy roleplay, Darth Vader. I once hired a cosplayer for my 8-year-old's birthday party. And as this guy walked towards the event location, I was so turned on, it was insane. So hot, he was flanked by 2 stormtroopers as well. I actually dumped the guy I've been seeing for a month as I realised I was more turned on by Darth Vader than him.

Jordan 0:11:31 Brilliant. Brilliant.

William 0:11:32 Well, amazing. Okay.

Jordan 0:11:34 Hope he took you to the Starship Enterprise. Wait, I'm gonna get there with that one. There's a pun in there somewhere. I hope he—

Ben 0:11:40 He could be your father?

William 0:11:42 Oh.

Jordan 0:11:43 No, Ben. I hope he was— I hope he got your lightsaber going.

William 0:11:48 Keep going.

Jordan 0:11:49 What's the big circle ship called in Star Wars? What?

Ben 0:11:52 Death Star.

William 0:11:52 Death Star.

Jordan 0:11:53 I hope you got your—

William 0:11:54 Millennium Falcon.

Jordan 0:11:56 Chocolate star.

William 0:11:59 Have you watched any of the films?

Jordan 0:12:00 Yeah, I love the Star Wars films.

William 0:12:02 Now Jordan, last week you said, in my school, this is a direct quote, you were either a skater or a mosher.

Jordan 0:12:07 Or a townie.

William 0:12:09 Okay. And some GNDers got in touch to tell us who they were at school. Nicola's school social structure sounded very well organised. They had nerds, middles, and uppers. Nicola was a middle with friends with both groups. Okay. Kate was a nerd and said, my friends and I were fondly referred to as the nerd herd. Okay. Louise was a sporty geek and said, the bullies didn't know what to make of me.

Jordan 0:12:36 Yeah, I was a bit of an in-betweener, to be fair. I wasn't a geek. I was ba— that's why I can so relate to the in-betweeners. That was our group of mates. Genuine.

William 0:12:46 If we do— I do believe there are plans afoot for us to do this crossover episode with the Inbetweeners podcast thing. What actually is an inbetweener?

Jordan 0:12:53 Like someone in the middle. It's not quite cool or popular, but not quite geeky.

William 0:12:59 Okay.

Jordan 0:13:00 Were you an inbetweener, Ben? I can imagine you being quite popular, actually, especially with the ladies.

William 0:13:05 Andrew was a terrible snob with very few friends. They said, thankfully, I grew up. And Lucy was the emo hellraiser in a very strict Catholic school and ended up giving the church's head priest a heart attack after arguing with him about a religious topic. That is going quite some way to get someone and giving them a heart attack. Okay. If you were doing school again, would you do anything differently?

Jordan 0:13:31 Yeah, God.

William 0:13:33 And that's anything from— I think also we have a responsibility now to talk about academia as the first answer. Would you study harder? Or maybe you studied hard.

Jordan 0:13:43 I did alright in the end. I did alright. No.

William 0:13:47 Would you try out an emo phase? I used to have my— before I sort of pushed my hair back, I used to literally have my—

Jordan 0:13:55 Fringe.

William 0:13:56 Just, it would fringe. I think I have got it for my very first Facebook photograph. I'll see if I can find that.

Jordan 0:14:01 Oh yeah, show us that.

William 0:14:02 I'm in a lovely manly pink polo shirt.

Jordan 0:14:05 I want to see. I think I've seen that. It's funny, I asked my mum recently, because for Disney Toy Story 5. Beep beep beep beep beep. They wanted pictures.

William 0:14:13 You notice how I just allowed you to talk about that without making a bitchy comment?

Jordan 0:14:16 She's a nightmare, Wendy. They wanted pictures of me at school and stuff. She sent me a lot of pictures and I went, oh, actually now they don't want me at school, they want me as a baby. She sent me pictures. I was like— she's going, oh, weren't you gorgeous? I sent them and then she messaged me a week later going, oh, I've just realised we think they're Dominic. She went, I can't tell. I'm like, well, is that me or not? Or is that our Doms? And obviously there's only a few years between us. She went, I don't know.

William 0:14:40 Did you all look the same?

Jordan 0:14:41 Honestly, she said, ask your grandma. So then my grandma sent me a load of pictures. I'll put one of them up on carousel.

William 0:14:47 And were you cute?

Jordan 0:14:48 Oh, let me have a look. I'll show you. Half of them, half of them. This is the thing as well, I'm bollock naked. Look at them neck curtains. Definitely, they were spotless, them neck curtains. Look at that. So don't— all I'm going to say is, at your peril if you say anything about them neck curtains. Lovely. At your peril, lad.

William 0:15:09 I said lovely! This is the photo I was thinking of. Oh god, not that.

Jordan 0:15:13 We'll get him up on the carousel.

William 0:15:14 There's my fringe.

Jordan 0:15:17 Okay. We've got more of your emails.

William 0:15:22 What does that mean?

Jordan 0:15:23 Messages and letters after the break.

Jordan 0:18:34 Alright, Gene Demers, thanks for sticking with us. Let's now go on to some of your recent responses, William Hansen.

William 0:18:40 Becky has a Heathrow update. Hi boys, I have just returned from holiday and have been catching up on episodes whilst on my flight home. home. I was listening to Jordan's Philosophies and Airport Nightmares just as we were coming in to land at Heathrow. I then felt the dread of the airport shuttle bus to the terminal. However, much to my surprise, there was no bus. I walked from the plane onto the bridge and straight into the terminal. In case William was wondering, I flew into Terminal 5 from Madrid. Thanks for always making me laugh on my Tuesday and Friday commute. It's Becky. Yeah, the thing is, Becky, I could fly from Madrid back to London and I would get a shuttle bus. I don't think there is a particular route. I just think it always happens to me that you've got Terminal 5A gates, then you have a separate building for B gates, you have a separate building for C gates, and then you have what I call D gates. And they're not as exciting as you'd think.

Jordan 0:19:29 You said a D gate?

William 0:19:31 You are basically on a bus, and I always seem to get a D gate. And you have to wait for everyone to get on the bus. Then you're cramped, you're standing up. Then it drives you basically to Gatwick and back.

Jordan 0:19:41 That's a first world problem for you, travelling all the time. Via then into Heathrow. Some people can't even I can afford to go away once a year.

William 0:19:46 Yes, I'm just saying, you've got basically one of the— well, Western Europe's biggest airports, and you're still on a bus. Why can't we just walk directly into the terminal like every other airport? Why do in Britain we have to just make it a little bit shit?

Jordan 0:20:00 'Cause that's what makes us great.

William 0:20:03 No, it's what makes us frustrating.

Jordan 0:20:05 We're proud and a bit shit, and that's fine.

William 0:20:08 And also, I go away for work a lot, so that's why I— Feel like—

Jordan 0:20:11 To be fair, you don't holiday. You should holiday more.

William 0:20:14 Alright, I'm off.

Jordan 0:20:15 Yeah, you should, you should.

William 0:20:18 I should. Ask me how many holidays I've got for the rest of the year.

Jordan 0:20:21 How many?

William 0:20:21 Zero.

Jordan 0:20:22 Oh God, you just got back from Greece.

William 0:20:24 Yeah, that's my one holiday of the year.

Jordan 0:20:26 What have they got?

Ben 0:20:28 Paris.

William 0:20:29 Hmm?

Jordan 0:20:30 Paris. That's a weekend trip, does that count?

William 0:20:35 That was work. I was filming the Le guide so British de bonnes manières. Ellie has got in touch to share some advice on a previous dilemma we attempted to help with. Hello, lovely boys. I was just listening to your episode, Help, I'm Going to Prison, when you were talking about a girl getting her tampon wedged inside her while having sex. This happened to me too, and I was too embarrassed to mention it to the guy at the time. So when I went to the bathroom, I used my toothbrush handle to fish it out. I absolutely think your advice was bang on, but I thought I'd contribute this advice too, in case of emergency. Ellie.

Jordan 0:21:06 Lovely.

William 0:21:06 Thanks. I have nothing to contribute off the back of that, but thank you for letting us know.

Jordan 0:21:10 Is this a regular thing?

William 0:21:11 What, tampon chat?

Jordan 0:21:13 If I was a girl, I'd definitely be a pad type of gal.

William 0:21:16 A what?

Jordan 0:21:17 A pad. iPad? The pad.

William 0:21:19 Okay.

Jordan 0:21:20 Yeah.

William 0:21:21 Tena lady?

Jordan 0:21:21 No, they're like Tena ladies, but yeah. I, you know what I'm like. I'm very squeamish. Not with blood or anything, but just… Things going in.

William 0:21:31 Hasn't stopped me before. And on the subject of toothbrushes, Wilf has been catching up on previous dilemmas and had this to say. Hi, William and Jordan. I was recently listening to your episode about sharing toothbrushes. I told my girlfriend, also a G&D-er, about this, as she was always using my toothbrush. When I told her about how disgusted you both were about it, she replied, you don't have a problem with anything else of yours that goes in my mouth. At least one is cleaned and washed every day. I can stop putting in both if that helps. Please help me explain how one is different from the other.

Jordan 0:22:02 She's done you there, Wilf.

William 0:22:03 Wilf. I'm afraid, Wilf, I'm on your girlfriend's side.

Jordan 0:22:06 She's done you there.

William 0:22:08 Yeah. And if you're not washing and cleaning anything every day, sort your life out. In fact, I would say toothbrush gets done twice a day.

Jordan 0:22:14 Yeah, but still, that's— Minimum. No, I'd— You shouldn't share a toothbrush with partner.

William 0:22:20 No, I wouldn't at all, no. Matthew has an etiquette conundrum that Jordan might now be well placed to answer. Hi, William, Jordan, and crew. Recently, I found myself with an etiquette question that given Jordan's new starring role in Toy Story 5, my—

Jordan 0:22:32 No, no, no! Don't sit there!

William 0:22:35 Oh, is that the line? I haven't seen it yet. It's not out yet.

Jordan 0:22:37 You've not seen it yet? That's one of my lines.

William 0:22:39 Oh. Go on, give us another one.

Jordan 0:22:41 No, I'm not giving— spoiler alert. I'm giving them away.

William 0:22:47 Can I ask— can I ask a question?

Jordan 0:22:49 You have to do loads of sipping sounds.

William 0:22:50 Oh really? That's disgusting.

Jordan 0:22:51 Half an hour I was making sipping noises.

William 0:22:56 Well, is that how you got the job?

Jordan 0:22:57 I can ask a question.

William 0:22:58 Um, no, I can't ask that question. It's mean.

Jordan 0:23:01 Oh, go on.

William 0:23:02 No, no, no, because I'm gonna get attacked for being mean. Oh no.

Jordan 0:23:05 And by the way, William texts me, right? William texts me saying, I'm sorry. He went, darling, I'm sorry if I wasn't thrilled for your Toy Story. And I was like, you were, you were.

William 0:23:13 Okay, not quite the words I used, but okay.

Jordan 0:23:15 Well, you always say this whenever I quote you. It's because you don't quote me. No, I don't have to quote you word for word. You're so pedantic. And annoying sometimes, which, whatever. You always do this whenever—

William 0:23:26 Okay, I'm sorry, should I read out the messages?

Jordan 0:23:27 Actually, it wasn't a Tuesday, it was a Wednesday, and I didn't quite say it like that. Doesn't matter, right? You sent me a lovely message and I went, no, it's fine. And you went, there's a few comments saying that we were mean to you. You weren't mean. Look, I give it just as good. This is our thing. Yes. We, we— it's our thing.

William 0:23:43 Yeah.

Jordan 0:23:43 And we all take the piss out of each other, and you're actually very lovely.

William 0:23:46 Thank you very much, likewise.

Jordan 0:23:49 When I tell a story and go, actually, I didn't say when was it, I said where was it. It doesn't matter. Let it go.

William 0:23:55 Okay.

Jordan 0:23:56 8 years that's been building up.

William 0:23:57 Well, I'm glad you've got it out now.

Jordan 0:23:59 Love you to bits.

William 0:24:00 Love you too. Matthew has an etiquette conundrum, which we're still on. Jordan's got a role in Toy Story 5, et cetera. My missus and I went to the cinema, ordered some drinks, and went into the screen to take our seats. So which cupholder is yours, the left or the right one?

Jordan 0:24:14 Great question!

William 0:24:16 I used the acronym that I was always taught, BMW, bread, milk, water. or wine from left to right. So I put my drink on my right side, as it's easier to access being right-handed, and for the majority of the population. I just wanted to know if there is a correct side to save the awkwardness of someone accidentally sipping from my drink in the dark, or me doing the same. Cheers, daddies.

Jordan 0:24:34 Great question.

William 0:24:36 Okay. Yeah, I would— I see your logic there, but some people are left-handed, etc. Just talk to the person you're sitting next to and decide which works.

Jordan 0:24:44 Next time Gene Divaz is going to cinema, if you're listening to this, going today, just check the last one, I'm sure it'll be on the left, the last cup holder. So if it's the last one's on the left or on the right, then you'll know it's left or right, won't you? Yeah. That makes sense. But also, it's very— That's quite good for me. That's quite clever for me.

William 0:25:00 So clever. Thanks. Um, it, it's also very rare, I would say, that you're in a cinema unless you're on like opening day where every single seat is taken. So potentially it shouldn't be an issue.

Jordan 0:25:10 Let's finish with our comment of the week. This can be from Spotify, YouTube, or Any of our socials.

William 0:25:16 The honourable mentions go to Rachel, who— this is after you went on a rampage last week by asking Alexa to play a variety of songs designed to wake up all the Geendievers who fall asleep listening to us. Rachel commented, can confirm this episode wreak havoc on my Alexa. Jamie enjoyed our brand new feature, Sweet Little Lies, but had some critique to our methodology, saying, William's logic for figuring it out if Ben was lying or not is clearly flawed. For Ben has no imagination.

Jordan 0:25:43 I do think—

William 0:25:44 That is harsh.

Jordan 0:25:45 No, you know when you watch a horror film?

William 0:25:47 You'd have to, to wear those socks.

Jordan 0:25:49 You know when you watch a horror film and the kids colour in? And the kids are a bit messed up. It's just black, dark drawings. That's what Ben, I reckon, was like at school. It's really dark drawings that are in black and white and a bit scary.

William 0:26:02 But our comment of the week goes to George, who knows how to appreciate proper humour and commented, I feel William's joke of What did she—?

Jordan 0:26:11 I think I missed this one. I'm sorry, a lot of your jokes do go over my head. He's actually laughing at his own joke.

William 0:26:18 Can I say, in Titanic rehearsals, I was saying to Stuart earlier— Oh, shut your faces!

Jordan 0:26:24 Here we go!

William 0:26:26 This is one of the things I'm really struggling with. If I do a funny ad-lib, I then sort of just— like we do on Sex Stage, sort of— we sort of appreciate it and sit in the moment. You can't do that on a Western show. Do

Jordan 0:26:37 you laugh at your own— Yeah.

William 0:26:38 Yeah, all things that the cast do.

Jordan 0:26:40 So what did we miss last week?

William 0:26:42 I said, apparently, what, did she knocky you over? I think you were talking about an Italian woman who nearly knocked you off a bike or something. It was not appreciated enough. Another 10 out of 10 joke from you, William.

Jordan 0:26:53 I thought it was a terrible joke. I do remember it from last week.

William 0:26:56 How rude.

Jordan 0:26:56 Alright. Remember, you can listen to new episodes every Tuesday and Friday, and 24 hours before anywhere else on Global Player. If you wanna get in touch about something, there isn't a dilemma or a problem, drop into our DMs, send us an email to help@sexandmyboss.com. We also love hearing back from the people we offer advice to. So if that's you, do get back in touch, and we'll see you on Tuesday. Goodbye.