EP238: Nagging with Auntie Linny #27 – THE BIG DAY

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:02 I can't believe you're doing the drive.

Linny 0:02:25 I mean, what lengths I'm going to to stop people from parking outside my house.

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:32 I mean, it is quite extreme.

Linny 0:02:34 No, it's really expensive as well.

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:37 You're gonna get what you want.

Linny 0:02:38 Well, not quite, but we're sort of 90% there. No, it's 'cause it aggravates me. Is there anybody else out there that gets the hump when someone parks there? But they're allowed. They're allowed to park on the street, I know, but it's outside my bloody house.

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:52 I do understand it.

Linny 0:02:53 I've got so territorial about it. I even feel that way.

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:57 when I have to park outside someone's house.

Linny 0:03:02 What, you feel bad?

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:03 I feel a bit bad. 'Cause I feel like it is encroaching on someone's space, right by their windows, by their drive.

Linny 0:03:10 It's just bloody annoying.

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:11 But there you go. What can you do? Is it going down well? Is it all right?

Linny 0:03:15 Oh my God. They only started this morning and yeah, I've got home and I'm like, wow. Yeah, they're brilliant. They're doing, yeah, they're good. Really good. Oh, good. Excellent. So yeah, so we'll have a new drive by the end of this week. Lovely. A few days.

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:25 You been for your walk tonight?

Linny 0:03:27 Been for my walk. Had to, 'cause I had a few things Went to a lovely Italian restaurant on Wednesday night. Yeah. Locally, that was really nice. All sort of birthday celebrations still.

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:38 Lovely.

Linny 0:03:38 And I was up the golf club yesterday.

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:40 Yes.

Linny 0:03:41 So nice up there. No wonder your brother don't bloody come home. I mean, I've really become a golf widow. He's always up there. And yeah, but it was lovely. Good company. Everyone's so friendly. Couple of the wives up there come running over 'cause they listen to the pod. Ah, what are their names? So Lynn and Sue. Oh, hello, Lynn and Sue. Yeah, we're expecting to see you at Bishop Stortford. Yeah, they're lovely, really lovely. And, um, yeah, Sue come over and said, I love listening to it. I said, well, come and see us. And her daughter's ironically moved to Bishop Stortford. Perfect. So I said, there you go, no excuse.

Natalie Cassidy 0:04:15 I will see you there, Lynn and Sue.

Linny 0:04:17 So, um, I've got 2 bums on seats. Excellent. But yeah, it's so nice up there. It's a lovely atmosphere. They're a lovely crowd. The kids— and Lisa come up with the kids. Dom and Dave were playing. It's really nice.

Natalie Cassidy 0:04:30 You really, you don't realise. I think it is, again, that sense of community.

Linny 0:04:33 It's good.

Natalie Cassidy 0:04:34 It's not just a game.

Linny 0:04:35 No, not at all. It's a family almost. I'm actually envious that I don't have that kind of activity where— That space. You know, once a week you're gonna meet up with all your girlfriends, you're gonna play whatever sport it is or whatever hobby it is, and then you've got the social aspect. The vice president, Dave, his daughter sings. Yeah. She was, she sang. It was, it was just, It was just a lovely— Nice afternoon. Chilling on the balcony. The weather was cracking. It's so good.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:06 Little question for you. Why don't you get yourself up to Cruze Hill?

Linny 0:05:12 And learn to play golf?

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:14 Have a couple of lessons.

Linny 0:05:15 Yeah, 'cause I've got so much time on my hands.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:17 It's a long game, innit?

Linny 0:05:18 Yeah, well, while— so this weekend, whilst your brother was playing golf, I worked Saturday morning, had Ruby and Amelia Saturday afternoon.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:26 Yeah.

Linny 0:05:26 He came home with sunstroke at 6 o'clock. Gosh. Then Sunday, Dave went to golf again, competition. I walked, come home, jet washed the patio.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:36 Did you?

Linny 0:05:36 Got myself ready and went up to Cruise Hill. So that's why I don't play golf. But do you know what? It's, they've got women players up there, not many. It is still very male orientated, but all the, many of the partners go up there. Yeah. It's just a lovely crowd. It's very social. And if you are not really a pub per— like your brother's not really a pub person. No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:56 No, that's right.

Linny 0:05:57 So that is just lovely. It's good. 'Cause you, he's made a huge circle. Well, last weekend they went to Lutuque, 30 of them. Mm-hmm. It's so lovely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:05 Sorry about the planes, everybody, but we've got the window open. It's a bit warm.

Linny 0:06:09 It's fine.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:10 We've got a message actually.

Linny 0:06:11 Oh yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:12 Regarding the golf club.

Linny 0:06:13 Oh yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:13 Yeah. Have a listen to this.

Linny 0:06:15 What, Cruise Hill?

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:16 Yeah. Hey Nat, just wanted to say I've just watched Caring Together. What an amazing programme. I'm living with stage 4 breast cancer and have done for 7 years.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:24 since '42, and if it wasn't for the amazing nursing staff at the Lister and various support groups up and down the country, I don't know where I would be. My husband is my carer and he's my absolute rock. I'm so lucky. Thank you for the doc, it was a real eye-opener. And yes, I am sat here with tears in my eyes.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:42 P.S., my husband played golf at Crews Hill and remembers your brother from up there. Sending you and your beautiful family lots of love, Natalie in St Neots.

Linny 0:06:52 Oh, Blimey. How funny. It's such a small world, isn't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:56 Really small.

Linny 0:06:57 We get a lot.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:58 What about Evie and Dom meeting the other day?

Linny 0:07:00 I mean, it's so rare. I mean, not that my son needs any excuse to stay out. No. Takes after his father. I phoned Aunt Lisa chatting away. I said, where's Dom? She went, he's bumped into Evie.

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:13 And Evie is Tony's daughter. Yeah. For the listener.

Linny 0:07:15 So I was like, what do you mean he's bumped into Evie? She goes, yeah, in London. I mean, what are the chances? So nice.

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:22 And it wasn't, well, it's London, but it's quite boroughs. Yeah. Not Liverpool Street, is it?

Linny 0:07:28 The most random, oh nice. Really nice. They went for a drink, yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:32 Really lovely. When this goes out, it's Evie's birthday at the weekend. So happy birthday to Evie. Happy birthday, darling. It's also Jenny and David's birthday tomorrow. So big happy birthday to them. And when it comes to Monday, it's also Phoebe's birthday. So I've done all my family happy birthdays. Excuse me. Lots going on.

Linny 0:07:52 Lovely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:52 But funnily enough, really good. I said to Mark, I'm so busy, you need to do the presents this year. You need to go and get your family some presents. I know it's our family, but I usually do most of it. And I said, I'm very busy. And he—

Linny 0:08:09 Has he?

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:09 Yeah, he's done it all.

Linny 0:08:10 What, he knew what to go and buy and everything? He's gone out. What, without you guiding?

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:13 I haven't guided him. He's gone out, he's done it all. Brilliant.

Linny 0:08:17 What'd you do then, pop it in the post?

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:19 He's gonna, yeah, he's gonna wrap it all up and put it into boxes.

Linny 0:08:22 Oh.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:22 So they get it, yeah.

Linny 0:08:23 Well done, Mark.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:24 So that's good.

Linny 0:08:25 Do you know what he's got then? Yep. Oh, you're, yeah, you happy with it? Very happy, yeah. Oh, excellent.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:30 It's all good.

Linny 0:08:31 Very nice.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:33 I'm sweating it.

Linny 0:08:34 Are you?

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:34 Really hot.

Linny 0:08:36 No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:36 I've been sweating all day.

Linny 0:08:38 Oh, the best.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:39 Wonder if I've got hot flushes or I'm ill. I don't think I am. I feel fine. It's fine.

Linny 0:08:46 Hot flushes, maybe.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:48 We had a message from— I've just gotta play it, Lynn, because it's just funny. She's a bit of a lunatic. I don't think she'll mind me saying so, um, but have a listen to this.

Speaker I 0:08:59 Hi, Natalie. I actually just like to let you know that I had to delete my last voice note because it was 2 and a half minutes long and I was talking absolute waffle. So I'm gonna try and Narrow it down. Just want to say, massive fan of the pod. As you already know, us Cawdrys love the pod. Steve was actually at my father-in-law— he was actually at Linnie's house the other day. I think he was, um, looking at doing some more work in the kitchen. Anyway, I said to him, oh, please tell me you told Linnie that I love her, um, on the pod.

Linny 0:09:30 Please tell me you did. I think he did. He didn't. We're all big fans.

Speaker I 0:09:33 He was actually at a wedding at the weekend.

Natalie Cassidy 0:09:35 My partner's cousins with him and his mum. I was talking to her and we was all saying how much we love the pod.

Speaker I 0:09:40 You came up in conversation and we're all big fans. And I just wanted to say as well that I honestly don't know how I would do housework without the pod because I really struggle. I've got ADHD and I really struggle getting motivated, but when I listen to your pod, I'm all in.

Speaker I 0:09:57 I am like literally 100 miles an hour. I'm like, I can do anything. So yeah, and I just love it. It really helps to help me concentrate and focus on what I'm doing because I'm locked in and listening and I'm not getting distracted. So yeah, this is slightly over 1 minute, but I just wanted to say that I can't wait for December.

Speaker I 0:10:14 Me and my partner, Shmael Mora, we are coming soon, December, at Bishop Stortford, and I can't wait.

Linny 0:10:21 Love to you all.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:22 Oh, Jess, thank you.

Linny 0:10:24 Oh, how fun. She's a character. She's a right old character. Not December, Jess, is it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:30 What, Bishop Stortford? November, isn't it?

Linny 0:10:32 Yeah, none of them are in December. She kept quoting December, bless her.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:35 Well, you know.

Linny 0:10:35 Unless she's coming to the pantomime.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:37 Yeah. Maybe she's coming to see the Wicked Queen.

Linny 0:10:39 Oh, well, your father-in-law's lovely, but don't tell him that.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:45 But yes.

Linny 0:10:46 As is your mother-in-law. Oh, bless them.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:49 Oh, it's lovely. Really, really lovely. So we popped out a message, and it was your idea. Wedding season is upon us.

Linny 0:10:57 It is indeed.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:58 And you said—

Linny 0:10:59 Not that we've got one this year. No wedding this year. No wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:02 No. I rarely get invited to any weddings.

Linny 0:11:04 Yeah, we had a spell of them.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:06 But lots of people go to a lot of weddings. Yeah. I feel like I don't.

Linny 0:11:09 No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:10 It's funny, innit?

Linny 0:11:10 Is it because your circle of friends aren't married or—

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:16 Don't like me. No, I think there's been quite a lot of intimate ones.

Linny 0:11:21 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:21 But I had this lovely message. This is from Bryony. Mm-hmm. And Bryony is a, camera operator at EastEnders. Oh. Dear friends with Mark and myself.

Linny 0:11:33 Right.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:33 And she did invite us to her wedding, but we are away, so I can't make it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:38 But I really wanna read this. It's quite a long one, but I just thought it was so well written. And this is from Bryony. Hey Natalie, Mark mentioned you were going to discuss weddings on the pod tonight. And as I'm in the trenches right now, I thought I'd share my biggest gripe with the wedding world.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:53 Which is the dress shopping. Hmm. To start off, most shops I found charged for appointments, which, if I squint my eyes at the concept, I'm somewhat willing to get on board. Of course, the shops are beautiful, everyone gets a glass of bubbles, but a lot of the time you are sharing the space with other parties, which I understand. It's a business and they can facilitate 2 or 3 bridal parties, then more power to you.

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:18 However, There were a few times that I had to wait for other brides to finish trying on dresses so I could try them on, which when you are in your Spanx trying to make small talk to the bridal assistant, it's a very humbling feeling. Just for reference, my cheapest shop was £25 and the most expensive was £95. Do you remember that? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Linny 0:12:39 Yeah. You'd have to pay for—

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:41 Wow. I ended up going to 7 shops. So just for the privilege of indecisiveness, I set myself back a fair amount at the starting line.

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:49 Then there's the phrase made to measure. When I heard that, I imagined a dress lovingly crafted to fit my body perfectly. Instead, they measured every inch of me, typed it all into a laptop like they were launching a space shuttle, paused dramatically, and then announced, we recommend ordering a size 12. A size 12. Revolutionary stuff.

Natalie Cassidy 0:13:14 Turns out it means someone measures you, ignores all the measurements, orders the nearest size, then sends you off to a seamstress to sort it. That's not made to measure. That's to roughly estimate. Which is true. Mm-hmm.

Natalie Cassidy 0:13:30 I paid for the privilege of discovering the same information I could have got from a pair of Zara jeans. Mm-hmm. Asda could advertise a made-to-measure service if they handed someone a tape measure before directing them to aisle 7. Turns out we are all living bougie lives. than we thought.

Natalie Cassidy 0:13:46 The groom in this equation has yet to buy his shirt for the day. Must be fun to be the groom. Anyway, enough whining from me. Hope you're all very well. We miss you dearly.

Natalie Cassidy 0:13:56 Speak soon. Bryony, cameras at EastEnders.

Linny 0:13:58 Oh, lovely Bryony.

Natalie Cassidy 0:14:00 But I love that.

Linny 0:14:01 Yeah. But, and she makes a valid point there, doesn't she?

Natalie Cassidy 0:14:04 Well, I don't know. So I wanna talk to you about the made-to-measure thing because obviously I haven't done it yet. But made-to-measure does sound like someone is going to absolutely make you fit.

Linny 0:14:14 But it's not.

Linny 0:14:14 Well, made-to-measure, you believe the dress is being made for you. Yeah. For your bespoke, maybe. It's not necessarily the case. No.

Linny 0:14:23 They'll order a size 12, say, if you're a size 10, between a 10 and a 12, they'll order a 12 and they'll adjust it based on your shape, size, et cetera. I mean, yeah, the whole, you know, the wedding— listen, as the mother of the bride, and I was privileged enough to be very involved with Annalisa too, because obviously our relationship, known her years, blah, blah, blah. Of course. So she included me on many of her bridal fittings. I mean, my biggest memory is Maria trying on her first dress.

Linny 0:14:58 I think it was me, Elia, Annalisa, I can't recall. There was a few of us. And you know, you've got this whole thing where you just, you've watched Father of the Bride and, you know, just the— Have a complete— Just the complete picture of how it's going to be. And you've got your glass of bubbly and Maria goes out around the back, she tries on her first dress. And then they, you come out and you stand on a podium so you look like you're 6 foot tall, but you're not really gonna be standing on a podium all day at your wedding, are you?

Linny 0:15:29 And I always remember the first dress, she come out, there was like this deadly silence. And I was just all burst out laughing.

Linny 0:15:40 She went, well, that's not the reaction I was expecting. Because, you know, she had had this idea in her head of what sort of dress she wanted. And she picked as close to it as possible. And then when she came out, we just thought it was hilarious. She looked hideous.

Linny 0:15:53 And I do remember that. But yeah, I mean, it's a whole— what a business.

Natalie Cassidy 0:15:58 Yeah, massive.

Linny 0:15:59 What a business.

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:00 Massive.

Linny 0:16:01 And I think we even, well, with Maria's, when she did choose her dress, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. But the stress that come with it when she went to collect it and the seamstress had made an absolute, well, first of all, it wasn't arriving.

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:19 Yeah, I remember that. Do you remember that? I remember it not arriving.

Linny 0:16:22 And I got—

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:23 I've gotta take my socks off, I'm so hot.

Linny 0:16:25 Okay, we do this a lot on this pod. Not with me, it's the first. Sorry. You're gonna pick your toenails. No, I'm not gonna do that.

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:30 I'm so hot. Oh, she's dead.

Linny 0:16:34 I'm fine.

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:35 Really hot.

Linny 0:16:36 And you've got your t-shirt on, short sleeves.

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:38 Jeans.

Linny 0:16:38 Oh dear. Oh, but still. Yeah. And I, um, anyway, for whatever reason, this dress just was— it was coming from Israel, Egypt.

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:47 Yeah, Israel, I think.

Linny 0:16:48 Was it Israel? And it just wasn't arriving and it was being delayed and they were fobbing us off. And they were— anyway, we were getting closer and closer to the wedding day and we were like, this is really stressful because obviously you've got to try it. Then if it's not right, you've got to alter it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:17:00 Yeah.

Linny 0:17:00 Anyway, By sheer fluke, the designer only had— I was talking to my goddaughter Amy about it, and the designer happened to be the same designer of dress that she had worn.

Natalie Cassidy 0:17:13 Yes.

Linny 0:17:13 Ironically. She said, Linda, I've got the designer's phone number. I went, sorry? She went, I've got his phone, his mobile.

Natalie Cassidy 0:17:19 Wow.

Linny 0:17:20 She gives me his phone, mobile. I ring him up, he answers the phone. We're having a conversation and at one point I've go— his name was Daddy.

Natalie Cassidy 0:17:31 Right.

Linny 0:17:32 And I've gone, Daddy, you've got to help me. And everyone in the office just burst out laughing. And he played a blinder. Dress comes over, but they'd— it would— the alteration was abysmal.

Natalie Cassidy 0:17:46 Oh my God.

Linny 0:17:47 Oh no, it was so stressful. Something that's meant to be enjoyable. Enjoyable. And I think Even Annalisa had a similar experience. I wanna say that they went under, but luckily she'd just collected her dress and then the company went under. My tip to all you brides out there, get wedding insurance. 'Cause look at COVID.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:09 Yeah.

Linny 0:18:10 Annalisa had wedding insurance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank the Lord.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:12 Yeah, absolutely.

Linny 0:18:14 It's so important regardless of what you're spending, whether you're having a 5 grand wedding or a 55 grand wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:20 Well, you're still spending the money that you have worked hard to earn. You're spending money that's so well earned.

Linny 0:18:24 Absolutely. So for what you pay for wedding insurance, I think Annalisa at the time did it through John Lewis. Mm-hmm. And it wasn't astronomical.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:30 No.

Linny 0:18:31 It at least gives you some form of protection because you just don't know. No, you never know.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:35 It's like some people go on holiday, don't they? And they don't get insured.

Linny 0:18:37 And yeah, it's—

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:38 And they think, oh, I ain't gonna waste the money. And I think, goodness me, that's crazy. Oh, it's too big a risk, anything.

Linny 0:18:43 So absolutely. And I think it should be no different. Well, you're spending a lot more on a wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:46 I don't think I'd go for a dress now if I got married. No, I get that. I think I'd go for a lovely crisp beautiful trouser suit or—

Linny 0:18:53 But even if you did go for a dress, you'd go for something possibly a little bit more, you know, something straight.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:59 Just something a bit more classic.

Linny 0:19:02 Yeah. You're not gonna go full-on bride. See, that'd be interesting to know what girls think about this. If there's a certain age where, not that most, not that women tend to wear the big big bloumange wedding dresses that we wore back in the day. They are slightly more fitted, aren't they?

Natalie Cassidy 0:19:23 I think you'd be really surprised. I think if people get married and it's their dream, I don't think it matters what age you are. You want to wear that, yeah. They go for the dress that they wanna go for.

Linny 0:19:33 And do the veil, do the whole shebang.

Linny 0:19:35 No, I mean, each to their own. But there's a bit of me that thinks, is there an age where you're— or if you've been married before, would you— is it appropriate to then do it again a second time and have the whole thing? Full-on. The whole thing, yeah. You know, the bouquet and all.

Linny 0:19:50 It is, yeah, it's interesting to know people's thoughts on it. But I'm just still quite surprised at the cost, what people now spend still in this day and age where the cost of living is so high. Yeah. And to buy a property or rent a property is so expensive. It shocks me what people are still spending, us included, what we are still spending on weddings.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:18 So sis, it says here in the UK, the average wedding currently costs about 20 to 22 grand.

Linny 0:20:25 The average.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:26 Average.

Linny 0:20:27 And I can assure you there's probably many that are paying way more than that.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:31 Well, if you are in London, expect to pay 25 to 50% more.

Linny 0:20:35 There you go.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:35 So probably 25 to 35 plus. UK couples roughly spend £270 to £280 per guest on average.

Linny 0:20:45 Yeah. So if you're having 120 guests, how's that? Well, that's just, yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:53 But again, that is a lot, isn't it? Mm-hmm. A lot of people. We've got one here that you'll like, a message regarding guests.

Natalie Cassidy 0:21:01 It's Jen from New Jersey, our lovely listener. Weddings, ha. I'm not sure how they do it there, but in New Jersey, it's a fucking spectacle. One of my besties, married twice now, had the most insane first wedding I've ever been to. Gigantic New Jersey, New York City Italian wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 0:21:22 Oh. This shit was so huge. 400+ guests. Yes. The most insane cocktail hour I've ever seen, which had probably 200 starters.

Natalie Cassidy 0:21:33 From an oyster bar to carving stations, etcetera. Don't even get me started on the dessert hour. Had to have cost over half a million easily.

Linny 0:21:41 I mean, the Italians go—

Natalie Cassidy 0:21:43 New York, New York, New Jersey. Can you imagine America?

Linny 0:21:46 Italians in America? Yeah. Italians used to love a wedding, and they were big weddings. I was gonna say, it's big. Because we were big families. Yeah. And you, and back in the day, you'd invite everybody. Mhmm. Your bank manager, the milkman, the accountant. Yeah. Your neighbours. Your work colleagues. How many was yours? 220.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:04 Right. Which is a lot.

Linny 0:22:06 In those days, that was considered like, you know, for an Italian wedding, say Italian-English wedding. Yeah. It was considered, oh, I remember we invited nearly everybody that we worked with, Dave and I, at Finsbury Park.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:18 Wow.

Linny 0:22:19 Nearly every staff member attended. We both worked at the same branch. Then I had loads of family and friends.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:25 Yeah, yeah.

Linny 0:22:27 Your mum had a big family.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:28 Yeah.

Linny 0:22:29 It doesn't, it sounds a lot, but, and then in those days, you, children, you know, like Maria and, and Lisa's weddings, no children.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:36 No.

Linny 0:22:37 So already you're eliminating, with Anne and Lisa, I think we calculated there would've been 40 children. Mm. So already you've eliminated 40 people. Bodies. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:46 Yeah.

Linny 0:22:47 And it's expensive stuff per head. Mm. The entertainment now, it's all full on.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:53 Well, people want bands, they want, yeah. I mean, yeah.

Linny 0:22:55 Yeah. It's to a different level.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:58 But we've got some lovely, messages here. You know, some people do do things—

Linny 0:23:03 On a lower scale. On a lower scale. A lot of people do. Well, yeah, I get it. And it doesn't mean to say that if you've got all singing, all dancing, it's necessarily gonna be the best wedding. It's about the people. It's all about the people you've got there. Yeah. 'Cause they're gonna make it, aren't they?

Natalie Cassidy 0:23:20 Of course they are. And it doesn't really matter where you are. It really doesn't in the end.

Linny 0:23:25 I know.

Linny 0:25:24 Hi, Nat and Auntie Lily, it's Jo from Bristol here. I've just seen your message now, and I've got to say, I absolutely love a wedding. Just literally my favourite thing. But it's okay as a guest.

Linny 0:25:39 Now, my daughter's getting married next year, and, um, as a family, we attended my brother's wedding this year, was absolutely fantastic, but literally must have cost thousands and thousands and thousands. And we're talking probably a deposit for a very, very, very decent house. Mm-hmm. And we all had a fantastic day, and, and it was great. But it did make me wonder, and, and helping my daughter plan hers, is it all about the photos nowadays?

Linny 0:26:13 And with that, I mean, it seems to be guest lists. Let's— this is my big bugbear. So back when I got married, which was, you know, nearly 30 years ago, you kind of invited family, people that you see regularly. And I do get that nowadays some people have quite big extended families, and I'm part of a big extended family, but, you know, in my daughter's case, she's close to my extended family, but yet some of them aren't invited to the wedding, and I find that quite hard to kind of come to terms with. Mm-hmm.

Linny 0:26:51 So don't get me wrong, they're invited to the evening do, but I'm the type of person, um, that kind of, I guess, always puts family first. And I think that actually family should trump— apart from your really close friends, um, I think when it comes to a wedding, your family should trump your friends. And I'm not talking about sort of best friend in that situation, but I just think, you know, acquaintances or people you work with, or, you know, no, they should not be coming to— they're the people to come to the evening do. And I will have a bit of a rant now about this, but I— is it just me? I, I just don't know.

Linny 0:27:30 And I think there's a lot of emphasis on where you have your wedding now, and maybe it's because these options weren't available back in the day, um, to a lot of people, but most people were kind of happy with, you know, little registry office and then a do, or a church wedding and a do somewhere. And it wasn't made out to be as big a thing as it is now. And I think there's so much pressure on people when they're getting married now to have the, you know, Instagram-perfect wedding. And it kind of just ticks away about what from why you're getting married. I think maybe I have got old-fashioned views.

Linny 0:28:08 I probably have. I am getting on a bit. But, um, I just— yeah, I don't know, it just doesn't sit right with me. And I'm really having to bite my tongue with the whole wedding planning thing and, you know, take a step back and think it's that— it's their day. And I realised I've ranted for far too long.

Linny 0:28:27 So much more I could say on it, but I'm, I'm not going to. But yeah, it is really stressful. And as much as on the day I will love it and it will be fantastic, it's getting to that point which is really stressful. Take care, bye.

Natalie Cassidy 0:28:39 Oh, thank you, Jo. That was a lovely message. Lots to unpack there. Well, the whole invite, the guest list— I, look, I've, having now been through 2 of our own weddings, I do feel that if Ophelia and Jack decided to get married, I genuinely would be saying Your wedding, you do you. You invite who you want. You have it where you want. If you want 10 people, it's fine by me. If you want 1,000 people— Why do you feel that you've learned from the other ones? I feel like, but it's like anything in life, when you do it for the first time, it's new to you as well. It's exciting.

Linny 0:29:19 It's different.

Natalie Cassidy 0:29:20 You wanna be, you want it to be perfect. You don't want to, like, it's like having your first child to having your third child.

Linny 0:29:27 There's such a vast difference, Natalie, in the way you do things. you know, with your first child, you do everything textbook.

Natalie Cassidy 0:29:34 Yeah, yeah.

Linny 0:29:35 By the time you get to your third child, it's like, no, it's okay.

Natalie Cassidy 0:29:38 Yeah.

Linny 0:29:38 I'm just gonna do this my way.

Natalie Cassidy 0:29:39 Yeah, yeah.

Linny 0:29:40 It's a similar kind of concept. What was so important to me, like when Maria got married, I didn't wanna upset anybody. I wanted to make sure that everyone that should be invited was there. I totally am with you, Jo, with the family comes before friends and acquaintances, but It's the bride and groom's day. They've gotta have Auntie Joan there, who they see once a year. And yet you've got their neighbours who are their best— not their best friends, their neighbours who are very good friends.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:11 Yeah.

Linny 0:30:12 They've got invited to the evening. No, I kind of feel like the neighbours who are their friends should be there. Because Auntie Joan, they see once a year.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:20 But then you don't know, do you? You don't know the situation.

Linny 0:30:23 No, I don't.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:24 Listen, I'm not referring to their specific—

Linny 0:30:25 I'm not referring to their specific situation. I just think, you know, these days are very— it's like we've had people get offended because children weren't invited. The trouble is you have one child, you've gotta have them all.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:38 Yeah, absolutely.

Linny 0:30:40 And, you know—

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:41 But even that should not be the case. You should be able to say, I'm having my family children, but not friends.

Linny 0:30:47 Absolutely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:47 You should, you should be able to set what rules you want.

Linny 0:30:50 Absolutely. The girls have been invited to weddings where their partners haven't been invited.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:54 Yeah.

Linny 0:30:55 Because the person that's getting married doesn't know the partner.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:58 Yeah, or from work or whatever. Exactly.

Linny 0:31:00 And again, I actually, back in the day, I would've thought that was most peculiar if David got invited to a wedding and I wasn't invited. I'd think, well, that's odd. You know, he's got a wife. But I kind of get it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:31:12 Well, it's all cost as well. It's cost. Indeed. And if you've got 60 people, you've got a little venue. And limited numbers. You might not be able to have the numbers there.

Linny 0:31:20 So I do, you know, again, my mindset was a bit different as well. Like, we helped and Maria with their weddings.

Natalie Cassidy 0:31:27 Yes, of course. We contributed.

Linny 0:31:28 Yes. So I did feel I had a right to say I wanted my friends there because I was equally paying for that wedding. Now, one could argue, well, no.

Natalie Cassidy 0:31:39 Yeah, see, I don't know. Ultimately. Interestingly, I'd say no.

Linny 0:31:43 No, yeah, there you go. Yeah, see, so people's, the perception, whereas I thought, well, I'm spending a lot of money.

Natalie Cassidy 0:31:49 So I'd like a little bit of something. Not that it was ever an issue because my friends are the children's friends. And they're good. Because we've had that kind of, But in some cases, there may be—

Linny 0:31:57 there was some, say, some of Dave's work colleagues that the kids didn't really know, um, that Dave wanted to invite, and which obviously they had no issue with. But one, they could have turned around and said, well, no, I'm not gonna have your work colleagues.

Natalie Cassidy 0:32:07 I do. I think we will have flooding messages about Dave's workmates being invited to her daughter's wedding that they don't really know.

Linny 0:32:16 Which happened.

Natalie Cassidy 0:32:18 But that was— I think—

Linny 0:32:19 but that wasn't at the detriment of others.

Natalie Cassidy 0:32:21 Oh no, of course no. Because it wasn't saving a space. Yeah, taking a place. Sorry. Yeah.

Linny 0:32:27 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:32:27 I find it so interesting. But all of this talk makes me just not wanna get married. Yeah.

Linny 0:32:32 And I can tell you one thing based on the, at the numbers we had at our weddings. Mm-hmm. It's an obscene amount of money.

Natalie Cassidy 0:32:42 It's— Well, everything must have gone up because look at life. Like you just said. It's an obscene amount of money.

Linny 0:32:46 The flowers, the entertainment, the food. We have a free bar cuz we are very much, and I listen, I'm not saying that's the right thing, but ultimately our view is, If we're gonna invite you to one of our functions, whether it's a birthday party, a small gathering, a huge wedding, we don't expect you to come along and have to pay. I'm inviting you, you know? Yeah. Her bar bills were obscene.

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:11 I think I probably spent on Mark's birthday what some people possibly spend on a wedding.

Linny 0:33:18 I'm sure you did. I'm sure you did. But then my view is if you're gonna do it, you do it. And if you're gonna—

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:27 And you gotta enjoy it.

Linny 0:33:29 And you've got to enjoy it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:30 'Cause you can't look back and say, gosh, and be bitter about it, 'cause that would be terrible. No, no, no. You've gotta have a lovely time. Yeah. Go with it. Yeah. Whatever that choice is.

Linny 0:33:38 What must be heartbreaking is to spend that money. I mean, our weddings were, as you know, you were there.

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:44 Oh, brilliant.

Linny 0:33:45 Fantastic. For me, I was, Yeah, I thought, what, I was overwhelmed by both of them. Yeah. I felt for Annalisa 'cause I thought, I don't know how we're gonna top Maria's, but my God, she smashed it. It was amazing. What must be heartbreaking is to have spent all that money and then you're sitting there and the food is not what you had at food tasting.

Natalie Cassidy 0:34:06 Or the singers crap.

Linny 0:34:07 Or the singers—

Natalie Cassidy 0:34:08 Or don't turn up or something happens or someone's late and it doesn't go to plan.

Linny 0:34:12 I mean—

Natalie Cassidy 0:34:13 Yeah, it's heartbreaking.

Linny 0:34:14 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:34:16 Heartbreaking.

Linny 0:34:17 What about when the videographer's video was— she couldn't— her camera wasn't working? Oh yeah, that was good. That was good. I remember that one. That was really calming 10 minutes, wasn't it? Thank God for Mark.

Natalie Cassidy 0:34:29 Oh, I remember how stressful that was.

Linny 0:34:32 Well, she's just— she went into meltdown. Yeah, she had a breakdown. She probably thought, oh my God, this all singing, all dancing wedding, and my camera's failed me. I'm gonna know.

Natalie Cassidy 0:34:43 That is crazy. How about this? Read your wedding message. As a single woman, I've always found weddings insanely expensive to attend alone. One friend ended up costing me around £2,000 because it was in Italy. Another cost about £1,500 with hen party in Menorca and then hotels in the countryside for the actual day.

Linny 0:35:00 Gotta be one of Annalisa's friends that's written in.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:04 Oh, really?

Linny 0:35:05 Well, broad, an abroad hen wedding in Italy.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:10 For the few that have cost me a fortune, I've managed to justify the money because one was a lovely trip to Italy, and one was a stay in the countryside and girls' holiday to Menorca. But last year, a lovely old friend really took me by surprise. And after asking me to be one of her bridesmaids, she offered to help out with the cost of accommodation for a few of us. She said that they had picked a fancy, expensive venue, and that was their choice, and that they wanted to help us pay for rooms to stay there, et cetera.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:37 This was so kind and unexpected, and every other friend has always expected me to just to reach in my pockets. Mm-hmm. Despite not being very It's a really lovely, thoughtful gesture, which no other friend has made.

Linny 0:35:49 Amazing.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:49 So do you think if someone is having an unnecessarily expensive wedding, that they should understand all friends might not be able to afford it? Or do you think we should all be quiet and reach into our pockets?

Linny 0:36:01 Again, it's— It's from Annie. Well, Annie, again, you've made some really valid points there. Again, as a family, we are very mindful because we've done it. We've been there. I've spent thousands going to weddings. Yeah. All the— when the kids, all their outfits, our outfits, the wedding presents. Oh, the presents. Staying in a hotel overnight 'cause they want you to stay overnight 'cause they want you to have breakfast with them the following day. The ones that are abroad. It's thousands.

Natalie Cassidy 0:36:26 Yeah, it's a lot.

Linny 0:36:27 It's thousands. But you've kind of gotta, you know, for me, if it's someone in your life that's special to you, and you're special to them because they've invited you to one of the most important days of their lives, you've just gotta embrace it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:36:42 You've gotta go for it.

Linny 0:36:43 And if it is an overseas wedding, make it into, turn it into a bit of a holiday. Yes. I mean, obviously not everyone can afford, we, you know what we did for Annalisa's. Mm-hmm. The night of the wedding, all the guests that were at the venue, which was 70+ guests that stayed at our venue, that was all on us. Yeah. You know.

Natalie Cassidy 0:36:59 But again, it makes it more easy to swallow going over.

Linny 0:37:02 It lightens the load. Yes. For the guests.

Natalie Cassidy 0:37:05 And it is a very kind thing to do.

Linny 0:37:07 You're fed and watered on the wedding day. Yeah. From 9 in the morning till 10 at night. 12 at night. You kind of try and give back, but, you know, not everyone is in a position to be able to do that. And I think if you're privileged enough to be invited, they are, they have become, even for guests, a very expensive day out.

Natalie Cassidy 0:37:29 You see, I think, when I think about getting married, I would want something to be the best of the best, but in a really small way.

Linny 0:37:38 But that's achievable.

Natalie Cassidy 0:37:40 But again, I still feel that everything that you want will cost the earth. It's so interesting. And in terms of even going abroad to do it, I loved, I really loved Dominic and Annalisa's wedding. Oh, it was beautiful. Because it's not just a day.

Linny 0:37:54 No, it was an absolute— It's a break. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:37:57 You're there, you have a lovely few days together.

Linny 0:38:00 And the one thing for me that I will always take away from that wedding, which I always quote. So for any of you mother of the brides, grooms and brides, and whoever, guests, the guests, you're invited to a wedding abroad and you're privileged enough to be able to stay for a couple of days and you spend a couple of those days together. Mm-hmm. I had, bar probably one or two, I don't think it is one or two, I think I have never been away Yeah. With all my friends at the same time. No. Not to mention— That was amazing. Not to mention the family, direct family.

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:41 And Italian, and all your family in Australia.

Linny 0:38:43 And then all my Italian, well, many of my Italian family drove up from Naples. Yes. When would that ever, ever happen? So for me, that will be a memory of a lifetime.

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:54 Yeah, yeah, it was fantastic. I was away with all my friends. Yeah.

Linny 0:38:57 The following day we're all in the pool, we're all playing. When's that ever gonna happen? When are you ever gonna be able to say to 20, 30 of your friends, we're all gonna go away and spend 3 days together? Oh, and all my family's gonna be there too. Oh, and so, yeah, it was amazing.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:10 Yeah, I just found it thoroughly enjoyable. There's something about the abroad wedding.

Linny 0:39:15 It was lovely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:15 And because that's the first one I've ever done. Oh. And I've never really agreed with it. Oh, wow. I've always thought, I think it's a piss take. You're making people go on holiday. Yeah. It's a lot for people. And you hear this a lot.

Linny 0:39:25 I did. It's not like that. Genuinely, I thought, oh, I can't, I don't.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:29 But when I went, I thought that is so special. Wasn't it? My favourite, I would say my favourite wedding, just in terms of—

Linny 0:39:36 The whole—

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:37 Relaxing, being there.

Linny 0:39:39 Yeah, the weather, the climate, the food. The food.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:42 Oh, we were in Tuscany. I mean, you can't get better. We're very fortunate. But I truly loved it, yeah.

Linny 0:39:48 So we're very excited 'cause the year after next we've got Annalisa's brother getting married abroad.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:52 Oh, that's lovely.

Linny 0:39:53 I'm being presumptuous and assuming I'm getting invited, Jollof. But yeah. Another one. They are. I love it. It's just a different vibe, isn't it? But equally, our wedding's here. You have just got to, in life, I do think these occasions are special.

Natalie Cassidy 0:40:12 Yeah, they are. But I have to say, you do need to realise that the weddings you've done aren't average weddings.

Linny 0:40:21 No, they really weren't, were they?

Natalie Cassidy 0:40:23 No. 'Cause I have been to lots of weddings that are beautiful, but I would say an average wedding, So when you are talking, for the listener, they're very extra in a beautiful way. And you can do it. In a romantic way. It's called fortunate, lucky to be able to do so.

Linny 0:40:39 But they are, like that lady said, they're deposits on a house, which in this day and age— Yeah, you can't buy a house directly. In this day and age, buying a property is so expensive. Life is so expensive. How are we still spending this sort of money? Whether it's £15,000, £20,000, £30,000, it's a lot of money. But again, something I'm going to say that I think it's a Mediterranean thing. I don't believe it's just an Italian thing, 'cause I know the Greeks do it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:41:12 Yes.

Linny 0:41:12 We tend to give money as wedding gifts.

Natalie Cassidy 0:41:15 Yes.

Linny 0:41:16 And we tend to kind of calculate what a day out would cost you if someone was— if you were going out for the day in London. Yeah. And you were having a wedding breakfast, and you were having drinks, and then you were paying for entertainment, and then you were gonna eat again in the evening.

Natalie Cassidy 0:41:34 Yeah.

Linny 0:41:35 We kind of give very generously. Yes. So the idea is the bride and groom, this is a, you know, how it was back in the day. Yes. The bride and groom would, make— have you ever watched The Godfather where she's just putting loads of money in her silk—

Natalie Cassidy 0:41:51 Yes.

Linny 0:41:51 Pillowcase type? Yes.

Natalie Cassidy 0:41:53 Yeah.

Linny 0:41:54 And it's about raising money for the bride and groom, so it gives them a little start in life. Yeah. And that's a tradition that still— we still very much do that. We give very, very generously. And that was quite apparent when the kids opened—

Natalie Cassidy 0:42:09 Yes. Yeah.

Linny 0:42:10 Their wedding envelopes. So they kind of, they get back more or less what they spend.

Natalie Cassidy 0:42:16 Well, it's so interesting. That's a really interesting point. I never thought about that. But again, that's, like you say, it's different culture.

Linny 0:42:26 It's different culture, yeah. And how they view it. I remember my cousin Tony, Firdaus's dad, who we speak about, he got married. Oh God, I don't know. I had Maria. Did I have Maria? Yeah. So, nearly 40 years ago. 5— he married an American Italian, Marina.

Natalie Cassidy 0:42:44 Yeah.

Linny 0:42:44 There's 500 people at their wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 0:42:46 500?

Linny 0:42:48 I've never seen so many people in my life.

Natalie Cassidy 0:42:50 Wow.

Linny 0:42:50 It was huge. Their wedding cake, it was Christmas time, their wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 0:42:55 Yeah.

Linny 0:42:56 She had one of those, Marina had one of those like 20-tier cakes.

Natalie Cassidy 0:43:00 Yeah.

Linny 0:43:01 Do you know what I mean? Like all state, like came out dressed up as Santa, and it was all, yeah, it was, oh my God.

Natalie Cassidy 0:43:09 So interestingly then, going back to kind of what Joe was saying about people doing a big show for Instagram.

Linny 0:43:16 Yeah, well, in those days you didn't have Instagram. That's what I'm saying.

Natalie Cassidy 0:43:19 So the big shows still went on.

Linny 0:43:21 Oh yeah, my goodness. Without social media. I think weddings were way bigger then than they are now. They've just become more expensive now. And obviously, I mean, I had a band, at my wedding. Me and your brother had a band 40-plus years ago. But now these bands are like borderline professionals.

Natalie Cassidy 0:43:39 Yes.

Linny 0:43:39 You know, and they've— there's thousands. It's— yeah. And yeah, I guess there is that element of, you know, how much of— I don't think people are doing this solely for social media. But, you know, when you look at—

Natalie Cassidy 0:43:53 But is it just the fact that stuff goes on social media now? So we're all saying, oh, they're doing it all for that. I mean, I do think— me and the girls have spoken. I know you listen to the pod, but we're talking But dancing.

Linny 0:44:03 Dancing, yeah, I mean.

Natalie Cassidy 0:44:04 I think some of that. Yeah, that is definitely choreographed. Definitely to get on the socials. Yeah. To get likes and, you know, for things to go viral.

Linny 0:44:12 That really gives me the ick.

Natalie Cassidy 0:44:14 Yeah, I don't like it either.

Linny 0:44:15 Do you imagine Dominic? What Eliza's saying to Dominic.

Natalie Cassidy 0:44:19 Baby, where is my— He'd say, I'm in the car, I'm going out, I'm at the airport, I'm going home. If you think I'm doing that.

Linny 0:44:26 But Dominic that wasn't gonna dance, we couldn't get him off the dance floor. No, he was very cool.

Natalie Cassidy 0:44:34 And his speech was fantastic as well.

Linny 0:44:37 And that's what I love about a wedding. Yeah. I like a speech. Oh, I love— Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:44:41 It's good, a speech.

Linny 0:44:42 The speeches and Dominic's smashed it. Yeah, exactly. What a cracking speech, wasn't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:44:48 Very good. Very good.

Linny 0:44:49 They are, mate. And again, I agree. I agree.

Natalie Cassidy 0:44:51 The speeches are—

Linny 0:44:53 Up there with the best part of the wedding. I think when you're sat having a drink and the speeches start, that's my favourite bit, maybe. Yeah. And the feet and the dancing. Like the guests will interact or make a comment or—

Natalie Cassidy 0:45:06 Yeah.

Linny 0:45:07 Brilliant. I remember my dad, bless his heart, he stood up to make his speech and one of them Italian boys that we grew up with sitting nearby and he went, you're gonna stand up, Bernard? He was only 4 foot 9, me dad. You're gonna stand up, Bernard? And then he did the whole speech in English thinking he was speaking Italian. He got himself in such a to and fro.

Natalie Cassidy 0:45:34 Oh, darling.

Linny 0:45:35 He did the whole speech in English when it should have been in Italian. Right. And then he went, and now I'm just gonna say a few words in English. I thought, no, Dad, you've just done it all in English. Oh, bless. Isn't it funny how it just—

Natalie Cassidy 0:45:46 Yeah, but that's nerve— it's nerve-wracking. Yeah. He's never done it. Over 200 people.

Linny 0:45:50 Yeah, and he's never done it. And bless him, he made it hard for himself because if he had done it in Italian, that comes nat— that would— that came naturally to him.

Natalie Cassidy 0:45:57 And interestingly, I think that's another thing. that should be discussed. If people are nervous people and they don't want to do it, they shouldn't be offended. The people that have asked, they should say, it's gonna ruin my day. Yeah. I'm not gonna enjoy it.

Linny 0:46:12 Again, what we did with Annalisa's dad, 'cause Franco is, you know, quite a quiet character. Yeah, absolutely. You know, he's never done public speaking. It's different for Dave. It's what he did. No, he loves it. He loves it. Can't get enough. the bloody microphone off of the bloke. But, um, poor old Frank, he was— and so we thought, and Anneliese and her mum were absolutely right, they said, no, we're not going to ruin his entire meal. Absolutely. You think, for— because Jack was nervous. Yeah. He was best man.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:38 Yeah.

Linny 0:46:38 He was nervous.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:39 Yeah.

Linny 0:46:40 And couldn't really enjoy the wedding breakfast because you just want to get that speech out the way, don't you? And Anneliese— so Anneliese's dad said a few words. That's right. Before the wedding breakfast. And that's absolutely the right thing to do. So there's no rules. Of course there are no rules. You just gotta do what works for you.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:57 Yeah, but I'm quite, I feel quite strongly on that. You shouldn't feel offended if someone says, I really don't want to. People get the ump, or they should say, that's absolutely fine, but I would like you to be a part of it some. Maybe you can walk me down or do a little clap, or I just want you to feel that you're an important part of it, you know?

Linny 0:47:15 Of course. There's so many ways to include people and make them feel them feel important and special on the day. Absolutely. Without necessarily putting them under another— A lot of pressure. Yeah, pressure. 'Cause it is, it is.

Natalie Cassidy 0:49:38 Hey, just seen your message about wedding chat. We are getting married in 2 months after only being engaged for 4 weeks. And then I thought, my goodness me, that's quick. Being together 13 years today. Unfortunately, my dad's health has taken a turn, so I want to make sure he, he is a part of the day.

Natalie Cassidy 0:49:54 Oh. So we're speeding ahead. Let me know if you wanna chat about the absolutely insane wedding world, prices, conditions, et cetera. It's a totally wild ride. And that's from G. Thank you, G. If we have another conversation, I might give you a bell, But I hope it goes really well.

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:10 And again, if that's your wish to have your dad there, absolutely fantastic. I wish I'd got married when my dad was here.

Linny 0:50:18 Do you, Natalie?

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:19 Yeah. When I think about it, I would've liked to have my dad with me.

Linny 0:50:22 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:22 But it'll be fine 'cause I've got 2 older brothers that I adore. So I'm very lucky in that respect to have those sort of older men in my life.

Linny 0:50:30 And again, these weddings, unfortunately, they then highlight Who you're missing. Yeah, I just remember I cried for about 2 weeks before my wedding. Did you? I just couldn't stop crying because I think the whole— it was so overwhelming. I'd been really— I'd been a bit unwell because I was running a home, because obviously I was the only girl at home. I'd bought a house with your brother. Yeah. And we were doing that up. I was organising a wedding. I had a high-powered job in the bank. Yeah, it was just all too much. Yeah. I just remember 2 weeks before the wedding, I just could not stop crying. But I think it was just—

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:05 Stress, probably.

Linny 0:51:05 And also just the thought that, you know, of all the time, the whole not, no, not doing that without your mum.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:12 Yeah, mother of the bride stuff.

Linny 0:51:13 Come on, that's hard. You know, yeah, mum had been gone a few years, but not that long. Not that long. It's still very weird.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:19 I think for me it's very different because she's been gone so long. Yeah. Of course you'll think, I think every day I wish I had my mum. Of course. There's you, there's Sharon, there's the girls. Yes. Oh my God. I've got my life is— Yeah. I've got all my relationships. I've got my own daughters, my own girls. You know, it's—

Linny 0:51:35 Yeah. It is different.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:36 But yeah, for you that must have been very, very hard.

Linny 0:51:38 So there's, imagine how many couples are, you know, well, look at, look at your mum and dad when they got married.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:44 Oh yeah.

Linny 0:51:45 Literally days before the wedding, your nan—

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:48 Had a stroke day before, wasn't it?

Linny 0:51:49 It was literally the day before. I mean, can you imagine?

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:52 I'm going ahead with this.

Linny 0:51:53 And they went ahead with it. But what'd you do?

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:58 No, gotta go for it.

Linny 0:51:59 They went ahead with it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:03 All stress, isn't it?

Linny 0:52:04 That must have been the most stressful time for your mum.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:09 Mad.

Linny 0:52:09 No, that must have been really— it's mad, isn't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:14 All your wedding photos without your mum in them and knowing that she just had a stroke.

Linny 0:52:19 And I mean, it was—

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:20 Yeah. Just absolutely crazy. Wish she was here to tell the story.

Linny 0:52:24 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:25 Mad. Imagine how she must have felt.

Linny 0:52:27 No, it must have been awful. Bless her heart.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:30 So again, as we always say, you can talk, you can have a go, what dinners you're gonna have. Mm-hmm. What you're gonna wear.

Linny 0:52:37 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:38 Who you're inviting. Yeah. What arguments you're gonna have. But if you've got everyone there who you love, that they've got their health. Yeah. And you can have a lovely day.

Linny 0:52:46 Just gotta enjoy it. You can sit there. 'Cause it's great memories. You can sit there in the back garden. Yeah. Absolutely. Can't you? Natalie, you can do it wherever. It's all about the people that are with you. Absolutely. Yeah. No, it's, yeah, it's crazy to think. I mean, and that's the other thing. You look back on videos and you think, crikey, half my guests aren't even with us anymore.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:05 Yeah.

Linny 0:53:07 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:07 Yeah.

Linny 0:53:07 Yeah. So you just—

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:08 it's lovely that you've got your wedding video though.

Linny 0:53:10 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:11 I've got Mum and Dad's wedding video.

Linny 0:53:12 Have you?

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:13 Yeah. We should stick it on.

Linny 0:53:14 How do you watch that then? 'Cause I've got a video. I've got VHS.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:18 Oh yeah. It got changed, don't it?

Linny 0:53:19 Oh, onto video. Yeah. Crikey. So we should get that.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:22 and have a little look at it.

Linny 0:53:23 Oh, that'd be—

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:24 Have a wedding video night.

Linny 0:53:25 Oh.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:25 Be fun. Fancy a little cry?

Linny 0:53:30 Gosh. I'm surprised we've had no messages about table plans, 'cause that's always a very challenging one. I know.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:38 No, we haven't. We—

Linny 0:53:39 That is now—

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:41 Who's sitting where.

Linny 0:53:43 The politics behind that, the rows that go on, the trying to make it work.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:50 Yeah.

Linny 0:53:51 Yeah. The people—

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:54 But I've been at weddings before where I'm sat next to strangers and I've had a great night.

Linny 0:53:58 Yeah, but people went as a— yeah. Fantastic.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:01 It's actually quite nice.

Linny 0:54:02 Or you get people request, don't sit me with so-and-so. Oh yeah, no, I'd say sorry, I'm not being funny.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:07 You can't be requesting where you're sitting. Yeah, you can't do that.

Linny 0:54:08 Or then you get the surprise guest who thought they'd surprise you on the day. Like, friends of mine, their niece from Italy was never coming and then she just surprised them on the day.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:19 Oh, really?

Linny 0:54:20 They had to sort of make room for her. And you know what we're like over here. You've got your table, your nameplate.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:26 Yeah, but you can't really do that.

Linny 0:54:26 I know, Italians do. They're so laid back. Their weddings are just so, everyone just turns up. Families might come in their entirety. Some families, just a father and daughter will turn up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's very, not so much now. They are becoming more structured like ours, but they are generally way more relaxed. You could let 'em know the day before, Oh yeah, I am coming. Whereas we're, you know what we're like. Oh yeah, no, yeah, you need to know 3 months before because we could order, you know, we're gonna book the food. Yeah, we, yeah, we are, um, we're very sti— we're very sticklers for structure.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:06 Structure, which I agree with.

Linny 0:55:08 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker K 0:55:10 Hello Natalie and Auntie Linny, good evening. You asked for wedding Um, experience advice. Well, I got married in 2010, or should I say we got married in 2010. We got married in Malta. I'm half Maltese, my dad is Maltese.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:27 Malta.

Speaker K 0:55:28 Um, I'm Catholic, and we did look to get married over here, but to be honest, the Catholic churches in my area just—

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:35 they're very plain, and they're just nicer in Malta.

Linny 0:55:42 So, um, yeah, we did look over here, but the prices are just crazy.

Speaker K 0:55:46 So in the end, we let family and friends know that we were thinking about doing it, said if anyone wants to come, let us know. We didn't— we sent out invites obviously once we booked everything, but we more said to people, if you want to be there, then let us know. My husband's got much bigger family than me, and quite a few of his family came out. And, um, my family, I had some from here and some that live in Malta, they came.

Natalie Cassidy 0:56:12 And we did it so much cheaper than what you would have done if you'd have booked it over here. And our little— it was a tiny chapel that we got married in, um, in the village where my dad is from, and it was absolutely stunning. But I just was so stressed. I stressed myself out so much that I made myself ill afterwards.

Linny 0:56:33 Oh, wow.

Natalie Cassidy 0:56:34 I just wanted everything to be perfect. And you know what, I can't even say to you that I remember the minute for minute.

Speaker K 0:56:43 There's a lot that I don't remember about it. I don't know if that was because I was stressed and worried about everything, but I wanted to do everything myself. I wouldn't let anyone do anything. And, um, a couple of days before the wedding, I was— I couldn't even make the night out. I was in bed. Oh. Afterwards, I ended up having cameras down my throat and all sorts.

Linny 0:57:04 I was unwell for about a year afterwards.

Speaker K 0:57:06 And once I'd had, uh, endoscopy, the camera down my throat, the— I got my diagnosis and that. And I said to the doctor, what could have caused it? Because I don't think there was anything really that could have caused it. I said, could it have been stress? And I think we just put it down to that, that I literally made myself ill from stressing so much. So if anyone's getting married, please don't stress.

Linny 0:57:28 The day will be—

Speaker K 0:57:29 well, yes, you can try and make it perfect, but at the end of the day, it'll And as long as you've got people there that you love, and, you know, you'll make it what it is. And we had an amazing time. But yeah, that's my wedding experience.

Natalie Cassidy 0:57:45 Well, thank you for that. Yeah, I'm— this is really, really putting me off.

Linny 0:57:51 It's, it's bad, isn't it? So she— this poor girl was ill after the wedding. I was ill before the wedding. Lovely. It's that stressful.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:00 I look forward to it.

Linny 0:58:01 And if you're a control freak and you wanna do it all yourself, Natalie, it takes a lot of organising. It's not for the faint-hearted. It's, it's hardcore. And then if you're doing it abroad, you could have a language barrier.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:12 Lynn.

Linny 0:58:13 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:14 I can't choose a bit new bin.

Linny 0:58:16 Yeah. I know. So I know. It's, it's—

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:20 if I did it, it would literally have to be over the pub or something. Like, it would just have to be really quiet.

Linny 0:58:24 And it'd be brilliant.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:26 Yeah. It would have to be because I can't, I can't even choose a new bedspread or start on a bit of decorating or, you know, I just can't, I can't make choices.

Linny 0:58:35 Why? Why? What is that? Just can't.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:37 Hate it. Just don't like it.

Linny 0:58:40 Yeah, it's funny, isn't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:41 I enjoyed doing the lounge. Yeah.

Linny 0:58:44 But I still find it very stressful. No, I get it now, 'cause I'm a bit like that as well. It's not enjoyable to me. So imagine putting a wedding together. They're, they're awesome.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:53 I think I could help someone else.

Linny 0:58:54 Yeah, but that's what, absolutely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:56 I think I'd thoroughly enjoy helping someone else.

Linny 0:58:58 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:59 Organising and helping. I think I could do it.

Linny 0:59:02 But when it's for you.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:03 Yeah.

Linny 0:59:04 So you'd have to get someone else to do yours.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:06 Yeah, maybe.

Linny 0:59:06 Basically, that's what you'd have to do. Yeah. Maria's good at it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:09 And then just let, yeah, let it all get done.

Linny 0:59:11 As long as you get a say, you have a say in what you want, and then put it together. It's a lot of organising. It's a lot of organising. It's very stressful. And it shouldn't be about that. That shouldn't be what you remember. And this lady again is absolutely right. The bride and groom have just got to enjoy the day.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:29 Yeah, but I've heard so many people say they don't remember their wedding day.

Linny 0:59:33 That's one thing I said to both of the girls. And it's just take it all in. Many a bride have just said, when I've congratulated them, just take every second in because it'll just go like that. Yeah. And then you'll wake up the following day and you think, I just can't even remember half the day. Yeah. And it's, you want, you need to remember. You know, when you think back in our day, we would go, you'd change in the evening, you'd put like this.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:55 Yes, yeah.

Linny 0:59:56 I remember rushing to get changed 'cause I didn't wanna miss anything. Anything. Or the bride and groom would leave early. to go off on their honeymoon and leave everyone partying. I was like, we're not doing that.

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:08 The old FOMO again.

Linny 1:00:09 Absolutely. You've just gotta take every bit of it in because, yeah, it's, it's been years in the making. So.

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:18 Oh, well, if for everyone, Bryony especially, but for anyone else getting married this year, wish you all the success and luck and love. Yeah. And we haven't even spoke about the weather. If it rains, don't worry about it. I mean, the weather obsession that we all have anyway. Oh no. But that, is it gonna rain? What's the weather like? What's the weather like?

Linny 1:00:38 So imagine leading up to your wedding. I remember— And you're permanently—

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:41 I always remember Tony saying that he was— Oh, the heavens. The best, the best summer ever. It had not rained for about 35 days.

Linny 1:00:48 His wedding day, it was torrential. Torrential all day. We all got so drunk. They were having photos indoors.

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:55 Yeah.

Linny 1:00:55 And they were just, the bar was open and everyone was, oh my God. We were so drunk. I remember everyone doing the conga with Dad. Yeah, it was a great one.

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:03 Yeah, because he got a bit, a little bit too inebriated, showing everyone his heart bypass scar, if I remember, ripping off his shirt.

Linny 1:01:11 Oh my God, you ripped it off?

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:12 I remember that very, very well.

Linny 1:01:14 Oh my God.

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:15 I remember that really well.

Linny 1:01:17 But even again, going back to Dominic and Lisa, they got married in Tuscany. It had— I was speaking to my family members, they went— I kept saying, what's the weather like then? They went, well, it rained. We're having really strange weather this year.

Linny 1:01:29 It seems to rain every afternoon for a few hours. I'm like, rain? And we literally got there. That was spiking, wasn't it? Yeah, but that's it.

Linny 1:01:38 We got there on the Wednesday. It rained. And then the weather just turned. And then the woman that owned the villa where they married, after the wedding, said, I now can tell you, the last wedding prior to yours, I was I was tipping coffee cups over because they were full of water.

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:58 Oh my God.

Linny 1:01:59 And weddings in Italy are predominantly outside. Well, it's all outdoor. For obvious reasons. Yeah, but there was not necessarily any cover. No, we had no provisions for rain. So it can happen anywhere. But ultimately, again, I remember being in, where were we? Oh, Skiathos. On holiday. Weather was horrific. Andrew, Dave's friend, had been going there, goes there year in, year out, never had bad weather. We get there and on this particular day there was a wedding there. The boat taking the bride and groom across to the—

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:34 Oh no.

Linny 1:02:35 And it, when I say rain—

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:36 Yeah, like a storm.

Linny 1:02:37 Yeah. And it did not leave. Did they get in the boat? Natalie, it was a disaster. They couldn't do anything. Oh no. All the, all the All the ushers, all in the bar, couldn't— they couldn't even get out to get to the church. It was torrential rain. Oh, poor thing.

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:53 Well, you've just gotta give up and enjoy it. And in the end, you've just gotta go with it, yeah.

Linny 1:02:57 Just be in the bar and have a great time. Yeah, just, yeah, if I get soaked, God. So you can't over— you just can't overthink it. You just gotta—

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:04 Go for it.

Linny 1:03:05 Go for it, yeah. But hopefully the sun's gonna start shining soon and all these Up-and-coming weddings, because this is, it tends to be this time of year. Yeah. We, we all start warming up. Although I love a Christmas wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:17 Yeah. I'm never getting married in the summer. Not with my hay fever, honey.

Linny 1:03:22 True. And then you know what the weather's gonna be. Yeah. You do it indoors.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:26 Nice and cold. Yeah.

Linny 1:03:27 Lovely, beautiful Christmas.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:29 Might have to nudge Mark on that though. Yeah. He likes the sun.

Linny 1:03:34 Oh, really? Yeah. I'm— Oh, I thought you meant nudging my backside. No, no.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:38 I mean the weather, the month, but I am not getting married in the summer.

Linny 1:03:40 Oh, I have a Christmas wedding.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:42 Who loves Christmas more than me?

Linny 1:03:43 Yeah. That's what I would do.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:46 Definitely, definitely. Lin, thank you. I love that.

Linny 1:03:48 Oh, thank you. Nice to have a little natter, wasn't it? Yeah, always nice.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:51 Always lovely. A little nag. Although someone said that when it, because it's called Nagging with Auntie Linny, she thought it would be us moaning at each other, someone said.

Linny 1:04:01 Oh, we could do that.

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:02 Um, we can do that, but no, nagging where I'm from means talking.

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:07 So I'm sorry if, if you think nagging is moaning, but it is if you're talking to your partner and you're nagging them. But yeah, yeah, a bit different. Have a wonderful weekend, everybody. Please follow, subscribe, tell your friends about it, and most importantly, send me your WhatsApps and your voice notes, please, to 07788 20 1919. I told you a bit about it on Monday, but remember, Monday coming up, our Patreon is live, so you can join the family on Patreon at patreon.com/lifewithnatpod.

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:41 Sign up on the Patreon website for £5 a month and you will get ad-free video episodes, bonus content from me and my family and my life, membership to the family group chat, and priority access to merch and live show tickets. Although our live show tickets are out, but you know, for future. What do you reckon of a bit of A bit of a bonus, sprucy bonus, Lynne. You looking forward to it?

Linny 1:05:04 I can't wait. I mean, what else?

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:07 You look really excited.

Linny 1:05:08 I'm not sure I've got enough hours in my day to squeeze all this in. No, it'll be fun. We can have a little bit of fun with it, can't we?

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:16 What's nice is because it isn't— it doesn't have to be this. No, it doesn't. So if I wanna even do— record me and you having a phone conversation about something, that can be popped on. So people are just getting a little bit more of my life, of all of you, some guests maybe, some other family members, who knows, some celebs on, who knows. So I've got a lovely idea for Christmas.

Linny 1:05:40 Ooh, what's that?

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:41 Just because I'm doing the pantomime, I'm super busy. I'm already preparing for some very special kind of chefs to maybe come over with me, do some cooking. Oh, lovely.

Linny 1:05:51 A little bit of Crimbo stuff.

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:53 So, you know, there'll be lots of special So subscribe, subscribe, subscribe. Absolutely. Now, something I will say, and I know it's boring, but I can't help it, I have to. The cost of a membership is a fiver, but Apple charge you an extra £2.50 a month if you join on the app. So sign up on a desktop or a browser before downloading the app to avoid paying more than you need to.

Linny 1:06:19 Oh, wow. Oh, okay.

Natalie Cassidy 1:06:21 I hope that makes sense. Yeah. But I really wanted to let the listeners know that. Oh, absolutely. 'Cause £2.50 a month is, £7.50 is more, a lot more than Fiverr.

Linny 1:06:28 Oh, God.

Natalie Cassidy 1:06:29 So just remember, don't, don't download the app, the Patreon app. Get it on your browser, do all of that, sign up, and then get the app.

Linny 1:06:37 Excellent.

Natalie Cassidy 1:06:37 That's if, you know, it's around. No, it's great value for money.

Linny 1:06:40 For a coffee. Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 1:06:43 And I bet it's not one of Maria's collagen coffees. I bet that's even more. We'll talk about that. on some of the bonus episodes, 'cause we only spoke about that at the live show. Live shows, yeah. However, the live show will be live, the Hertford show, our last show. On Monday, you will be able to watch one of our live shows, which I think for a fiver is pretty special, actually. And I will say it myself.

Linny 1:07:03 Yeah, it's definitely worth a watch.

Natalie Cassidy 1:07:06 So please remember, patreon.com/lifewithnatpod, and you can chat to us all over there. there. Come and join the family. That's it from me. Have a lovely weekend, Lynn. I shall speak to you very, very soon.

Linny 1:07:21 Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married. Going to the chapel and we're—