EP254: Nagging with Auntie Linny #30 – the women in our lives

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:05 Hello and welcome to Life with Nat. I hope everybody is enjoying this fabulous weather and you're all having a nice summer holiday with your children if you're on holiday. or by the pool catching up. I'm here with Auntie Lynnie today.

Linny 0:02:35 Hello everyone. You all right?

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:38 Yeah, good, you?

Linny 0:02:39 Yeah, finally I feel like I've got my life back. Maria's 40th is sort of coming to a close.

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:46 Until the brunch.

Linny 0:02:48 Is that for her 40th?

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:50 Yeah, apparently so. Um, and that is selling really well, so thank you. It is? Thank you to everybody who's buying tickets. There aren't many left at all.

Linny 0:02:57 Really?

Natalie Cassidy 0:02:57 So if you wanna get in, Wow.

Linny 0:03:00 Get those tickets.

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:01 Go to Hertford House Hotel. Go to the website. Oh, wow. And you'll find the link there for what's on. And you'll see that our brunch is October the 3rd. So yeah, thank you so much. It's gonna be a great day.

Linny 0:03:11 Have we gotta buy another cake?

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:14 Nah, fuck that. I'm not doing a cake.

Linny 0:03:17 I mean, even Maria said, so last Sunday we, I had a gathering for Maria's 40th. Then they, she went away the following day. Mm-hmm. And obviously they've gone out and they're, singing happy birthday at every restaurant they go to. And even Maria messaged saying, I'm kind of over it now.

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:37 Yeah, getting a bit bored of this now. Oh, lovely though. My goodness.

Linny 0:03:44 So yeah, I feel like this week's been a bit as normal as it can be, and they've all been away, so.

Natalie Cassidy 0:03:49 It's weird when they're all away at the same time.

Linny 0:03:52 Well, to be honest, it is weird, but because they have not stopped That's true. I feel like I've been away with them, both of them have. So I've got Elia, and went away to Italy with Eliza to my family, and then Maria's away in Santorini. And between them, the photographs, the running commentary of everything they're doing.

Natalie Cassidy 0:04:12 Food, drinks, where they are, what they're doing.

Linny 0:04:14 How they're doing it, when they're doing it. Then Elia's sending me photos of family members she's bumping into, messages. I mean, it's been lovely. I do actually feel like I've been on a journey with them. It's nice.

Natalie Cassidy 0:04:23 Yeah, it's so nice because I do feel you can get a bit of radio silence from people, which is absolutely fair enough. Oh no. Yeah, and normally when you go away, you kind of want that.

Linny 0:04:32 Yeah, that's been nice. So I'm shocked that they've— but that just shows, right? Well, I'm surprised, I guess, for Elia, because she's with my family, she wants me to see and witness everything. And I guess for Maria, actually being away on your own, we've been together, the last 2 holidays has been hundreds of us.

Linny 0:04:48 It probably feels a bit weird being on your own, and you feel like you've gotta keep us in the loop. And when you're doing something so special, I always remember Dave and I, when we went to Paris for one of our anniversaries many, many years ago, And we went to see a show, and it was so spectacular that I felt heartbroken that we couldn't share that experience with everybody. So I guess for Maria, it's a lot of that, isn't it? Just wanting us to see where she's going, what she's doing. Stavros at work, who's lived in Santorini, had recommended a particular restaurant that they went to last night.

Linny 0:05:20 So she's sharing all that with us.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:22 Yeah, yeah.

Linny 0:05:23 Yeah, mental. So yeah, as much as it's been, but then also I've had your brother unwell. Oh no, sorry. So that kind of threw a spanner in the works. It's been a bit of a weird week. Yeah. But—

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:33 Well, I got away for a couple of days.

Linny 0:05:35 Oh, you then went away and Lisa's away. So at one stage you were all away. Mm-hmm. How funny.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:41 Very funny. Very lucky. Very fortunate.

Linny 0:05:43 Yeah. And also to be able to go away here knowing that you're just go— it's like going abroad.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:47 Honestly, to get in the car.

Linny 0:05:49 Yeah. It's nice, isn't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:50 And we were only gonna do one night.

Linny 0:05:52 And you—

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:53 But we were enjoying it so much. I said—

Linny 0:05:54 Might as well stay another night.

Natalie Cassidy 0:05:55 Let's just stay another night. We're doing nothing.

Linny 0:05:58 And whether, are the beaches, are they rammed, the beaches? 'Cause it doesn't look like they are.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:03 In terms of beaches, obviously where we were, right, you've got Hastings. Now Hastings is a seaside town. It's got your crazy golf on it. The beach ain't great.

Linny 0:06:15 No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:15 And it's, Hastings got lots of history and what have you, but it is your, you know, the seaside town that you would imagine. Mm-hmm. You've got all the arcades. Joanie loves the 2 pence machines. We do the golf. But then travelling back to Rye, which is about 40 minutes away, Rye's just a beautiful, historical, tiny little town. Winding roads, cobbled streets. You could be in a Dickensian Oliver Twist. It's just so pretty. But there, we found a beautiful beach called Wimchelsea. And that, Or Wim Chelsea, I dunno how you say it. That was unspoiled, beautiful.

Linny 0:06:54 Oh wow.

Natalie Cassidy 0:06:54 Really, really lovely. But I was, I would go back and maybe stay there. There's Airbnbs everywhere you go now.

Linny 0:07:00 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:00 Just nice to have a couple of days away. I felt like I'd been away for a week.

Linny 0:07:03 Yeah. Well, when you're, when you're not having, the thing is with going abroad, it's the whole airport thing, isn't it? Your, your journey is that much longer because you have to be at the airport. a good 2, 3 hours before you fly. Yeah. And I guess it just makes it a bit of a long day. So to be able to just jump in the car, take your dog with you, or, do you know what I mean? It's like, it is, yeah. If we'd known, if we'd known this weather was gonna be, I think I would've even tried to have organised a little few days away. I mean, there's still time to do it, I guess.

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:34 I wonder if this weather's gonna continue though. And if it does—

Linny 0:07:38 What, this year or in general?

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:39 Yeah, in general, in every year. 'Cause I think, The prices over here are extortionate. Yeah, that's the thing.

Linny 0:07:45 Did you find it expensive? Expensive, yeah. Really?

Natalie Cassidy 0:07:49 I mean, I, I do stay in nice places, so I'm sure there are places that aren't as expensive. But in terms— I looked up this beach I was telling you about because I'm nosy. I went on Airbnb and I thought you could just tell one of these houses, very modern, but sort of black with beautiful big windows. I thought, that's an Airbnb, and I looked it up. Yeah, and for 2 nights it was £1,700 or something.

Linny 0:08:12 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:12 I mean, that, it was 6 bedrooms. Right. So, you know, if there was a lot of you.

Linny 0:08:16 Yeah, you're splitting it, of course.

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:18 But you're not, it's certainly no, no less expensive than going abroad.

Linny 0:08:22 No. And then obviously your food and drink is more expensive than going abroad. Yeah. So actually when you break it down, I mean, when I look at Tuscany to Devon last year, yeah, there's no, No. Because we went abroad, it wasn't more expensive. No. And again, it's the food. The villas. Yeah. And that's where you're saving on the money. And the drinks. Yeah. But it's lovely to see a bit of England as well, isn't it? Because again, it's a beautiful country. And when the weather's on side—

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:51 Oh, it's lovely.

Linny 0:08:52 I just think everything looks so picturesque, doesn't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:08:54 And for me, Joanie's now at an age, obviously Eliza's away, so she's not bored. 'Cause it's not really a holiday that Eliza I'm not saying she wouldn't enjoy it, but she's at a different age now. Yeah. So it was quite nice to not have that stress, be away with Joni. Yeah. Quality time with Jackie as well. Yeah. Mark's mum. Of course. Yeah. Not seen her for ages. Wow. So she was thrilled that we did the trip. Did she say she'd be happy staying the extra night?

Linny 0:09:17 Yeah. Yeah. She was thrilled.

Natalie Cassidy 0:09:18 I love that. And really enjoyed it. And we, you know, she's always getting everything and she's like, we've done the hotel and now I'll do the dinner. Or, you know.

Linny 0:09:27 Lovely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:09:27 So that was really nice. But yeah, just like we said when we went on holiday, it's memories made.

Linny 0:09:33 Yeah. That you won't get back. It's so important.

Natalie Cassidy 0:09:36 For Joni and her to spend that quality time together. Of course. 'Cause yes, she comes here and she's, but I'm not seeing her then 'cause I'm working. Yeah. 'Cause she's busy. We're not going anywhere. We don't even go to Ware Town.

Linny 0:09:46 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:09:46 Where?

Linny 0:09:47 So she's literally here to mind Joni. Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:09:51 So it's nice to go out, have a bit of dinner, a little bit of lunch, have a walk. There was a flea market. There was, you know, just quirky. Yeah.

Linny 0:09:59 It's really nice. Nice.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:01 Now I'm packing and doing it all again.

Linny 0:10:02 Oh my God.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:04 I feel very lucky.

Linny 0:10:06 Yeah, you are.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:07 I actually feel like it's— I've been on holiday since Tuscany, really.

Linny 0:10:12 Permanent holiday. Well, well, Eliza definitely has.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:16 Yeah.

Linny 0:10:16 I mean, her feet don't even touch the ground and she's off again. Yeah, see, I do like that little break in between holidays. Just, I like to spread them out. Mm-hmm. 'Cause even we would, talking about going away in September, but do you know what, with the weather like this here, I'm not that fussed.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:31 Not worried at the moment?

Linny 0:10:32 Not overly. We'll see.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:34 Do a little UK one.

Linny 0:10:36 Yeah, maybe. But Natalie, I've got a big one in November.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:39 Yeah.

Linny 0:10:39 I know that sounds like a long way off, but— No, it'll fly by.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:43 And that's why I am pleased that, again, since leaving EastEnders, I love the fact that I've been able to orchestrate having a summer off.

Linny 0:10:52 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:10:52 Yes, of course we're doing the pod and whatever, But in terms of chunks of work and being out the house, I have orchestrated the 6 weeks to not be working. And I feel that was— Again, you're very fortunate. It's incredible. And I didn't know if I'd be able to do that. And I might not be able to do it next year or, you know, work will come up.

Linny 0:11:08 So you've gotta do it when you can. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:10 Especially freelance, you know, with Mark's work and as soon as I—

Linny 0:11:14 And so it's worked for Mark as well, the timings, the holidays.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:17 Yeah, 'cause his proms are certain dates. So as soon as I saw that break, I just booked where we're going and that's it, you know? Yeah. But I've heard Montenegro's lovely.

Linny 0:11:27 Yeah, a few people have said that. So I'm really looking forward to exploring it. Well, you should explore it. Don't just spend the whole time in the villa.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:33 No, no, I won't.

Linny 0:11:34 Yeah. And it's easy. The kids, Joni's your youngest, she's 10. I know, it's easy.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:39 It's fine.

Linny 0:11:40 Yeah, yeah. No, it'd be lovely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:41 What wasn't lovely was Eliza sending me white heart emojis. Rings for the pool. Could you buy? I said, we're not getting married. What are them for? What's she doing? All for photos, innit? And stuff like that.

Linny 0:11:54 Ah, for the old social. She don't wanna buy a heart. For the old TikTok, Eliza.

Natalie Cassidy 0:11:59 She doesn't want to buy a heart. No, I'm not buying that. She was cracking me up the other day.

Linny 0:12:03 So she said, should you buy one of these?

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:05 No. I'll get a couple of, I've bought a couple of nice lilos for the pool. I haven't bought a unicorn. Thought I'd leave that. To Maria.

Linny 0:12:14 That's a suitcase full of—

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:16 I know, and it's Joanie's birthday as well.

Linny 0:12:18 Oh, cool. So what will you do on her birthday? How will you, will you go out or?

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:22 Well, I'm going, I'm definitely gonna pack a few tiny gifts. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 'Cause I want to take her something. Yeah, something. Just a couple of bits. Yeah. And I don't know, I'm sort of, we've got a few days before it. Yeah. If that makes sense. So you can suss it out. Suss it out. Nice. But she'd be very happy to just be at home.

Linny 0:12:39 Yeah, she's easily pleased at home, isn't she? Yeah, yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:41 As long as you're playing Uno or.

Linny 0:12:44 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:44 It's all right.

Linny 0:12:45 Yeah. Sometimes you just don't need to overthink these things, do you?

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:49 No, not at all. Not at all. So yeah, getting back to the last Sunday.

Linny 0:12:53 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:53 It was, it feels about a month ago.

Linny 0:12:56 Why? Even for me it does.

Natalie Cassidy 0:12:57 Why?

Linny 0:12:58 I can't believe that was only—

Natalie Cassidy 0:13:00 It's tomorrow.

Linny 0:13:00 I know. Because like, because again, the weeks are so busy and I don't know. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:13:07 It was such a lovely day.

Linny 0:13:09 Did you enjoy it? Yeah. I loved it. Do you know what? Even I, 'cause I thought I'm, It's so hard when you host.

Natalie Cassidy 0:13:15 Well, we spoke about this last time, didn't we?

Linny 0:13:18 Yeah, we don't wanna keep repeating ourselves, but it is very— and I was so conscious of it, and I think I did really well, 'cause I did manage to get round to everybody and sit and actually talk to most people.

Linny 0:13:28 Talk to them, yeah. But when you're hosting, unless you've got someone that you've employed, you can't just sit there and be a guest. Someone's gotta keep the drinks flowing, someone's gotta keep the ice, box filled in, like, in my freezer. My ice— my fridge couldn't keep up with the ice, so I'd bought ice. You've gotta keep refilling that.

Linny 0:13:49 You wanna make sure people have got drinks. I was conscious of the heat and making sure food was being covered, not left out. I know, flies. You know, just looking after it. And plates.

Linny 0:13:59 And even though it was plastic plates, it's still— look, ultimately, you're the host and no one else. And Sally, thank you. You played a blinder. She really helped me, as did Ferris after, 'cause she was the last one to come. She tried to help me clear up.

Linny 0:14:16 It's— but I do feel like I managed to speak to everybody. Yes, you did. And I enjoyed it.

Natalie Cassidy 0:14:21 I did a few drinks, tried to top people up a little bit.

Linny 0:14:24 Yeah, I mean, obviously, you prepared some dishes for me, which was really helpful.

Linny 0:14:28 And we always said we're gonna try and keep it low-key. I mean, there was obviously too much food, but we tried not to do hot food, although I did stick a load of quiches and pies, stuff, the Turkish pie things we had in the oven, and it was so hot to actually even have the oven on. Yeah. But, you know, For me, and I know Maria, 'cause obviously she did it, 'cause I did a, as you know, I surprised everyone with a little speech, which I did actually prepare at 11 o'clock the night before. Maria did one too.

Linny 0:14:56 And I think it was genuine. She genuinely was overwhelmed with everyone that was invited came, and it was very special people that we invited, and our very close friends, because otherwise it just escalates, doesn't it? There were about 30 women. It could have been 60, but then the numbers are too big.

Natalie Cassidy 0:15:12 You don't get to talk to anybody then.

Linny 0:15:13 No, then you don't see anyone. 'Cause you are literally just running around, you know, around like a headless chicken.

Natalie Cassidy 0:15:19 No, it was lovely to see everybody.

Linny 0:15:21 And for all my friends to see each other because it, sometimes it needs a gathering like that to get you all together because everyone's busy. Everyone's families have grown and people, and many of my friends still work.

Natalie Cassidy 0:15:36 Of course.

Linny 0:15:36 Full-time.

Natalie Cassidy 0:15:37 My favourite bit, I looked over and Maria was sat with Carly, And all of her school friends, all of Ro-Ro's school friends, and they were all sat together.

Linny 0:15:45 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:15:45 And they bought her a lovely present. I think it's a trip to a vineyard or something. And they're all there. And I thought, that is so special.

Linny 0:15:52 Yep.

Natalie Cassidy 0:15:53 So special that she's still got all of those friends and that all their lives have changed and they've got stuff going on and they're kids and they don't see each other loads, but they're just still friends. It was really quite emotional just to see, 'cause it reminded me of a, just them being little.

Linny 0:16:07 Yeah. And for me, 'cause these girls grew up at mine, Carly in particular, 'cause Rosanna, I see you lots. But when Carly walked in, I felt, yeah, pulled a little, yeah, my heartstrings. Yeah. 'Cause I don't see her. No, of course. She said the same. She gave me a cuddle. She calls me Linnie. She's always called me Linnie, funnily enough. And she said, oh, we'll have to try and get together with the mums and that. And it is, it's, you know, it's, I had years of these girls coming round, getting ready at mine, sleeping at mine. So it was lovely.

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:38 Really good.

Linny 0:16:39 It was lovely. And yeah, everybody—

Natalie Cassidy 0:16:42 But even for me, seeing Amy, I don't see Amy enough. I say it to you all the time. Amy's Linda's goddaughter, but we went on holiday together and we've always got on, me and Amy. And just even having an hour or two with her, you just forget there are people in your life that you really get on with. You might make a bit of an effort sometimes.

Linny 0:17:00 But do you know what as well? I think sometimes if you don't— I mean, don't get me wrong, Amy, and I speak every day. But I have friends that I'll go for months that I haven't seen or spoken to.

Linny 0:17:10 But then that's what makes it even more special when you are together because it just, it means so much more. Because if you did this every month, it wouldn't be special. Of course. So it's actually nice that, you know, but I think what makes— made this super special is that for, I guess, these were my friends who Maria's grown up with. They've been a massive part of Maria's life.

Linny 0:17:34 So that's why we kinda did it. 'Cause she was seeing all her own friends anyway. Yes, yeah. Doing her own stuff. But to have them all together in a room, that's a rarity.

Linny 0:17:43 And with manageable numbers where you could, everyone could talk to one another. That's what I thought was so lovely. And all very, you know, these are, some of these women have been in our lives, well, been in my lives all my life. grown up with them from a very young age and have been in Maria's life all her life.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:01 But I always think when I look at that room and how many people I know, that's amazing as well. Yeah. The whole of my life.

Linny 0:18:10 Yeah, because they've been around forever. Yeah. And that's again, I think, quite rare now, isn't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:16 I think so.

Linny 0:18:18 Because people move away, people fall out.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:21 Yeah.

Linny 0:18:21 People just don't even fall out, they just go their different ways and, you know, you sort of lose yourself a little bit. And before you know it, there's a distance and you stop. And if, and if you're both that person that isn't good at keeping in touch, that's a way of losing friendships without meaning to. Of course. No. 'Cause you do need that one person that is that person that will ring up or send that text. Yeah, the instigator.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:45 Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

Linny 0:18:46 So I guess, yeah, it's quite special to have this circle of friends who, well, in my case, for 60 years, been in my life.

Natalie Cassidy 0:18:55 Incredible. And also, again, I'm not man-bashing. It's not— I'm not man-bashing because, you know, I'm not that sort of person. But there is something special about a room full of women. It's different.

Linny 0:19:09 Yeah, agreed.

Natalie Cassidy 0:19:10 It is different. Why? And why do you think that is?

Linny 0:19:13 Well, I'm— I do like female company, and I have friends that aren't that bothered. Yeah, Ferris won't mind me saying this. She— one of my— my neighbour, who's a very dear friend, who, again, she's become a friend in the last 20 years because she became our neighbour, and then— and we met— we connected through Elliot, really. She got the ball rolling, as she does. And we've become very good friends. And, you know, she's lovely. But she's a— Ferris isn't a girl— loves girls in the sense that she loves her niece, and her niece's daughters, and her sister. Mm-hmm. And loves my girls, you know, me. She's a dear friend, but she likes male company.

Natalie Cassidy 0:19:56 I would say I'm the same.

Linny 0:19:57 Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So she's got that balance.

Natalie Cassidy 0:19:59 I would say I'm very happy.

Linny 0:20:02 Like, very single.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:03 You know, if Jamie comes over, I class Jamie as a dear friend of mine. I like male company. Jack Ryder. Best friends. Yeah. Funny, isn't it? I've always liked—

Linny 0:20:14 Yeah, I think you're a bit like that. Like, if I said to Fran— But I adore my having— We're having a girly brunch, she'd be like, She'd rather—

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:21 No, I'm not as bad as that. No. 'Cause I do, I like—

Linny 0:20:24 She'll do it if it's us. Yeah. But I think she does quite like male company. If that's the word.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:34 Yeah, no, and I do as well. But Sunday made me realise, I don't know if it's age, as you get older, the things you go through, your hormones, you're in a room with people that understand that as a woman you change. Men just don't understand what we go through.

Linny 0:20:50 But they can't understand it. They just don't.

Natalie Cassidy 0:20:52 Yeah, we're just different animals.

Linny 0:20:53 Some women struggle to understand it.

Linny 0:20:55 How are men gonna understand it? Yeah, because again, the conversations that are being had. It was really ironic because a couple of conversations I had related to the speech I'd written. And I thought, that's really weird. Like we were talking about Ines.

Linny 0:21:10 So my friend Ines had just come back from Italy. And spent a week with her mum. She was looking after her mum, which is quality time for her, and it relieves her younger sister who lives in LA. It's a lot, it's hard work. And she said, I wonder who's gonna do that for us when we're a bit older.

Linny 0:21:28 And I thought, oh, I'll put that in my speech. It was just weird. And then, you know, just talking about menopause, and which is how I guess the speech came about because I'd had a day of it Saturday. I was exhausted. Crawled into bed.

Linny 0:21:42 I'd been speaking to Enza, who's had a major operation on her foot, who was mortified that she might not be able to come. And so we—

Natalie Cassidy 0:21:50 It was lovely to see her. Lovely she came.

Linny 0:21:51 Yeah, Enza. Yeah. So nice. It was a lovely surprise to see you there. And then I couldn't sleep, because I really can't sleep anymore. And I thought, how's no one done a speech or a poem? Maria loves a poem. And I thought, I'm gonna do it. But of course, before you knew it, an hour and a half had gone by.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:08 Well, it was excellent.

Linny 0:22:10 I did really well. I don't blow me own trumpet, but that's not my skill set. And even I was— so I just thought, what a lovely memory to leave Maria.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:19 Yeah.

Linny 0:22:19 For her to have, 'cause it's all typed. Jim, bless him, printed it out for me. Oh, bless him. But yeah, there was just so many things that I was talking about in my speech. That would just come up. Yeah, that were coming through because we were all like-minded women and all going through similar things. People at your age, the perimenopause, people at my age, the aches and pains, or, you know, family members they're having to look after. or young children they're having to navigate whilst they've got jobs. I guess the people you surround yourself with are gonna be people that are like-minded, aren't they?

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:52 Absolutely, yeah.

Linny 0:22:52 So, yeah, it just, it was lovely. No, it was a lovely day.

Natalie Cassidy 0:22:57 Thank you. It was very special. Very, very special one.

Linny 0:22:59 Yeah, Maria's had a lovely 40th.

Natalie Cassidy 0:23:01 She certainly has.

Natalie Cassidy 0:25:12 I've got a message here from Vicki. I've just seen your message about having good women around you. I am a runner from Liverpool and do loads of long runs. I could never do them without my amazing friend Carla to keep me going. She's mostly running with me or on my earphones whilst walking her dog. I get my run in and some get to sort my brain out while we chat. That's from Vicki. Again, conversations.

Linny 0:25:37 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:25:38 Chatting.

Linny 0:25:39 I think now, more so than when I was probably your age and even younger, Natalie, there wasn't that— women didn't support women like we do now. I feel like women are very mindful of having each other's back, looking out for each other.

Natalie Cassidy 0:25:54 I think We're lucky to be able to say that.

Linny 0:25:57 And we voice it, yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:25:59 I think actually there are still women who have a go at women.

Linny 0:26:03 Do you? In workplaces. Yeah, I was gonna say maybe in the workplace.

Natalie Cassidy 0:26:08 Workplaces and online, social media. Women having a go at women. I mean, I don't know if you saw, I mean, it was all over the press and it's a little bit old, old news now, but when Andy Burnham became Prime Minister, his wife was with him.

Linny 0:26:21 Oh yes.

Natalie Cassidy 0:26:22 And the backlash she got from the dress she was wearing. I mean, it's appalling, isn't it? She's just there.

Linny 0:26:29 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:26:30 Being a wife, supporting him. A very intelligent woman.

Linny 0:26:32 Yeah. About her own life.

Natalie Cassidy 0:26:34 And she's being vilified for— Because of what? Having a normal stomach because she's got a silk dress on. You can see it.

Linny 0:26:39 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:26:40 It's outrageous.

Linny 0:26:41 I guess it still does go on.

Natalie Cassidy 0:26:43 Yeah.

Linny 0:26:43 But I think we are more mindful of it. You know, I remember even in my Barclays days, you know, there were some girls you worked with, it was pretty pretty obvious. toxic environment. Whereas I feel like girls are a little bit more supportive of each other.

Natalie Cassidy 0:26:58 And again, I think that's an age thing though as well.

Linny 0:27:01 Maybe.

Natalie Cassidy 0:27:02 I don't feel we've got—

Linny 0:27:03 Yeah, maybe.

Natalie Cassidy 0:27:04 18, 19, 20-year-olds, how are they feeling? Maybe. Yeah, it's an interesting subject. Let us know, 07788 201919. Do you feel women have your back, or have you got situations in which you find it uncomfortable? We actually had a message Which is an interesting one here.

Linny 0:27:21 Hi, Nat and Ninny. I've recorded this about 20 times. It's Nanny Cock. Female friends, female groups, I find quite difficult. I don't really have tight female friends. Oh, it's definitely to do with the fact that my mum left when I was quite young, and I think it's that sense of abandonment, of wanting and craving for all of my childhood, my teenage years, my early 20s, really craving that mother figure in my life that I never had. And I now— has created this hyper-independence that, you know, has served me well. It's served me well. It's kept me safe. But also it means that everything and every relationship that I have is all at arm's length.

Speaker I 0:28:07 So I'm probably my own worst enemy with that one, which is sad. But one, one good thing, um, that has happened within the last sort of year or so is I met the most wonderful group of women when I was waiting for you at Lakeside for the Waterstones, and we have got our own WhatsApp group, and it's really, really nice to be able to share things in there, because for me that's ideal, because it is at arm's length, and I can choose what I share or what I don't share.

Linny 0:28:35 And I've had quite a few big personal struggles within the last sort of year or so that I've just kind of kept to myself, really, because other people around me have got things going on.

Linny 0:28:45 And it's been really nice to be able to share that in there, and the women in that group are all really supportive and really friendly. Um, so yeah, that's just my take on it. I think female friendships can be absolutely wonderful, but also they can be incredibly toxic for another reason, which is why I keep it at arm's length, because it's that don't want to get hurt type thing. But anyway, I hope you're all having a lovely weekend. Saturday today.

Linny 0:29:13 I'm gonna have a nice day at home on my own, which is just the way I like it. husband and the boy are both down the cricket club. So yeah, take care.

Natalie Cassidy 0:29:21 Oh, lovely to hear from you, darling. And just always, we've got another message coming up in a minute, but it makes my heart sing. That is why this pod is so special to us, because people have connected.

Linny 0:29:33 Look what it's done. It's given people friendships, relationships. And sometimes, I mean, interestingly, she's saying that obviously her mum left and She's clearly guarded because of that.

Natalie Cassidy 0:29:46 Why wouldn't you be?

Linny 0:29:48 Indeed. And I was gonna say, for me, it's done the opposite because— Me too. Yeah. 'Cause we— but our mums didn't leave us. I presume she doesn't mean she—

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:00 No, I believe it's left. Yeah.

Linny 0:30:02 So again, it's— there's a difference. Our mums didn't choose to leave us. They passed.

Linny 0:30:07 So for me, the important— losing my mum and growing up in a male environment, the importance of women, Natalie, was from day dot. I remember when I was carrying Maria, I was just so desperate to have a little girl. Mm-hmm. That was the only name I had, her name, 'cause I would convince myself— everyone said I was having a boy, and I'd convince myself I was having a girl because I was so desperate to not replace my mum, but to have a female figure in my life. You know, that you would love unconditionally, that would love you unconditionally.

Linny 0:30:42 'Cause I'd lost that person.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:43 And isn't it funny that we didn't— we were blessed with daughters.

Linny 0:30:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God. As much as I love Dominic, of course.

Natalie Cassidy 0:30:51 Of course. Golden boy.

Linny 0:30:53 But to have the girls there, yeah, it's enriched my life. Genuinely has. As much as they're a bloody nuisance at times. It just— they're your friends. And you'll— as yours get older, you'll find feel that more and more. Of course, you go through this stage, teenage stage and blah, blah, blah. But when they're adults—

Natalie Cassidy 0:31:13 I feel very close to Eliza. I feel very lucky.

Linny 0:31:15 Yeah. And you should. You are.

Natalie Cassidy 0:31:17 We, we, very good relationship at the moment. Yes, it could change, but I feel like I went through hell at 12 and 13. I think Eliza matured early and I had sort of, listen, of course you always have your problems.

Linny 0:31:29 Well, that's a message I've had from my cousin earlier. So again, a very powerful, successful woman, my daughter. godmother's daughter, my second cousin who's in Italy, and Elia went— they went to see her. And her message says about how mature Eliza is, what a lovely young lady, how much she comes across very mature. Yeah. 'Cause she's probably thinking, crikey, she's 15. And she's— yeah, she knows how to conduct herself. And yeah. But again, that all stems from the women she has around her. She's grown up amongst a huge circle of women, Natalie.

Natalie Cassidy 0:32:05 That's true.

Linny 0:32:05 Not everybody has that relationship. Definitely. Not everybody has that volume of women around them. You know, women empower one another. You know, I find— your brother has always said this to me, you know, if you surround yourself with people that lift you up, bring positivity to your life, enrich your life, not drag you down.

Linny 0:32:27 Look, and you know, ultimately, that doesn't mean to say if we've got friends or family members that are that wanna share a problem. Oh no, that's not— We're there to help them, support them. But equally, it's very important to surround yourself with people that are, like my friend Tina, she's a positive human being. She's very factual. She's very like, right, okay, so this is what we need to do.

Linny 0:32:49 We need to do X, Y, and Z. And she's incredible. They're good people to be around.

Natalie Cassidy 0:32:56 And it's who you're— for me, you and Sharon, for instance, I think I've learned a lot from both of you in very different ways.

Linny 0:33:04 'Cause we're very different characters. Absolutely. We're very different people.

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:06 But you get certain things from different people. You look at them and think, oh, I'd like to do that that way. Or the way you are with many, many things. I look up to you and aspire to be like you. And I hope that I have children of the ages that your children are now and have the relationship. And, but you know, I do, again, I think the proximity thing is extremely— Close to kids. It's invaluable, actually. But you can't ever not allow your children to do what they wanna do or go where they wanna go. So you never know how it's gonna end up, do you?

Linny 0:33:39 Yeah, of course.

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:40 Or I might just get a camper van and live in Italy anyway. Just travel around it. Yeah. So who knows?

Linny 0:33:45 Well, I think Eliza wants to move or stay out there.

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:49 She said, I said, you've got the same feeling I have. Isn't that funny though? Mm-hmm. Because I don't think it's made up when she's messaging me.

Linny 0:33:55 No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:33:55 I really wanna learn the language. I just love it here. I feel like I belong. It's not like going to Greece and really enjoying Greece. Do you know what I mean?

Linny 0:34:03 Because what Eliza has experienced is being abroad, obviously, is not alien to her, which has come back from Italy. And she probably had a bit of that experience at the villa.

Natalie Cassidy 0:34:16 Yeah.

Linny 0:34:18 But it's that thing of you're going somewhere, it's your holiday, but you're engrossed in family life. But it's normal family life. And that is their normal. They're not going— okay, they might go a little bit above and beyond with cooking.

Linny 0:34:34 You know, maybe you're having a 4-course meal instead of their standard 3-course meal. But they're doing ordinary things like making bottles of tomato sauce in the garden. Feeding the chickens. Going on the tractor, cultivating the land. It's normal day-to-day life for them.

Linny 0:34:51 And all of a sudden, you're immersed in this, As well as going to the beach and going to a beach bar. They've done stuff like that. And I was like desperate for her to go to the town where I have my apartment because I knew she'd love it. It's beautiful. It's like a Hertford in Italy, let's say.

Linny 0:35:06 And then just bumping into family members as they're walking. So she's experienced kind of living there.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:12 Yes, yes.

Linny 0:35:13 And there is nothing not to like. But it might be different if you're out there and you're having to work.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:18 Oh, of course.

Linny 0:35:19 You know, they still have to make a living. Natalie, when you're on holiday in Italy with family, it is the best holiday. It's better than any holiday you'll ever have. But the reality of it is, if you were going there to live, you've gotta work too. You've gotta keep a roof over your head. So they still have responsibilities. But what she's experienced this week, I know, 'cause I've been there, done it at her age. It's priceless.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:44 It really is.

Linny 0:35:45 And no holiday will ever compare to that. No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:48 No.

Linny 0:35:49 And the family are so welcoming.

Natalie Cassidy 0:35:53 I can't wait to go next year.

Linny 0:35:54 And she's very lucky they speak the language. Yes. So there's no language barrier. No, it's beautiful. It's, yeah, yeah, we're gonna have to—

Natalie Cassidy 0:36:03 No, I feel extremely lucky that she's been able to go. It's amazing.

Linny 0:36:06 Yeah, yeah. And she'll come back feeling, well, no, luckily for her, she's coming back going on another holiday. So I used to come home and feel so down.

Linny 0:36:13 I used to have this emptiness, this void. Oh, I still remember that feeling. I don't have it now.

Linny 0:36:20 I'll come home and I'm happy and ready to come home. 'Cause when you're an adult, you are conscious of that you're— Right. Lying to someone else and you're in someone else's home and, you know, don't wanna be in their way. And when you're young, you don't care about stuff. You don't think of stuff like that.

Linny 0:36:33 You're just having the best time. Everyone's making a fuss of you. And, and I used to come home and I'd have that sick, awful feeling. I'd feel so down. It was horrible.

Linny 0:36:44 She might even have a little photo of me A bit like even coming back from Tuscany. We'd got used to all being together.

Natalie Cassidy 0:36:49 Oh yeah, no, I felt bereft.

Linny 0:36:51 Yeah, that feeling, that's the word. I'd come home and I'd feel bereft of all the family members, of which there are a lot less now because many of them have passed or left the village. But she's had a fantastic— and we really must, must do it next year.

Natalie Cassidy 0:37:06 Yeah, we're going to. Can't wait.

Linny 0:37:08 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:37:09 Here's one from Lucy.

Speaker J 0:37:10 Hi, Nat and Linnie. It's Lucy here.

Speaker E 0:37:13 I've just seen your message about the pod you're doing today on what you would do women, and I couldn't not send a voice note to talk about the beautiful group of women that I have met through your podcast.

Speaker J 0:37:26 Beautiful Sam Alice, Queen Camilla, the lovely Claire from Swanley, and gorgeous Mel. These girls are incredible.

Speaker E 0:37:37 I feel so blessed to have met them. We have laughed, we We've been through some moments. They have been my cheerleaders, my support network. We've been away together, and I just think women in their 40s, you find your people, don't you?

Speaker J 0:37:56 And I just want to say a huge thank you to all the girls and to you for bringing us all together, and I can't wait to see what more fun times we'll have together. Thanks, guys.

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:11 Oh, I mean, that's a crack—

Linny 0:38:14 that's a cracking message because the pod's been going for what, 2 and a half years?

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:19 Yeah, nearly.

Linny 0:38:20 Nearly?

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:20 Yeah.

Linny 0:38:20 And in 2 and a half years, look at the bond. They're sharing good times, bad times, happy times, sad times with friends that they've only known for a couple of years, and they don't all live near each other.

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:36 No, I presume they're all scattered all over the place.

Linny 0:38:39 Isn't it incredible what's been created there? These ladies all coming to the brunch?

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:46 Yes, they are.

Linny 0:38:46 Are they?

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:47 Yeah, most of them are. Yep.

Linny 0:38:50 What, so Sam, Camilla, Lucy all coming?

Natalie Cassidy 0:38:52 I think Lucy is. I've gotta see if she's coming, but yeah. Yeah. So again, Bex is coming.

Linny 0:38:57 Is she? Yep. Loved your pod with Bex, by the way. Oh, thank you. I thought that was a really good pod. Yeah. You're really good. You come across really well, Bex.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:04 It's interesting 'cause you feel like you're not, it's a bit like us. Again, you connect with someone. I felt like we were just having a chat.

Linny 0:39:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catch up. Yeah, and she was, she was like quite chilled, quite laid back. Yeah, very good. Yeah. No, brilliant. Oh, lovely that they're all coming. And also for them, then that gives them an opportunity. To get together. To get together, do a, you know, overnighter or whatever.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:24 Yeah.

Linny 0:39:24 It's brilliant. And that's why I love a girly holiday as well. Like a couple of nights away with the girlfriends.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:30 I would like to do that. Oh, I love that. I would like to do that.

Linny 0:39:34 Whether it's a health spa, whether it's a trip abroad, whatever it is, I just think—

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:38 When was the last time you did that? Girly one.

Linny 0:39:42 Hmm, now you're gonna— you've got me. No, too long.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:44 Too long, yeah.

Linny 0:39:45 Yeah. Although me and Enza keep threatening to do a little health spa. I know I've done it with Sally, I've done it with, obviously, with you, health spas, Jan. What was my last one? Probably a hen.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:56 I just think it would be—

Linny 0:39:57 Annalisa's hen, probably.

Natalie Cassidy 0:39:58 I just think it would be lovely. to do again, a nice house.

Linny 0:40:04 Load of girls.

Natalie Cassidy 0:40:05 Yeah, be lovely. A few days away, really nice.

Linny 0:40:09 Just think, because— and that— this does sound like we are absolutely shutting men out. No, no, no, no. But it's not at all the case. It's the sheer fact that women just get each other. You've just only gotta look at a woman to know what they need. Yes.

Natalie Cassidy 0:40:26 What they wanna do.

Linny 0:40:27 Yes.

Natalie Cassidy 0:40:27 Go and lay down. Go and have a shower. You're tired. Go up. You just get it, don't you? Yeah. Not that you listen if I say you're tired, so it's completely irrelevant, really.

Natalie Cassidy 0:43:21 Just had a message from Amy come through.

Speaker M 0:43:28 Hi, Nat. Hi, Lynn. It's Amy from Hertfordshire. I really like this topic.

Speaker M 0:43:34 Um, speak about this a lot. I think it's really important for women to have a good network around them, good, and because let's face it, it's a man's world and we just live in it. As controversial as that is, I'm 37 years old. I've got friendships with my school friends that spans over 20 years. I've also got friendships with work colleagues that spans nearly two decades, which again, I'm really.

Speaker M 0:44:02 that I cherish, but also we support each other throughout life's challenges. So one thing you should know about me is Linnie's actually my godmother. So this relationship was born out of a trip to Disneyland Paris, of all places.

Linny 0:44:19 It was.

Speaker M 0:44:20 With our families when I was 15.

Speaker M 0:44:22 Me and Linnie just bonded, there wasn't any other words for it, and it was the first time as a 15-year-old that I felt seen, understood, and heard. And that relationship has remained consistent even now, and it's something I'll be forever grateful for. Linnie's been there as part of my support network in all the dark times. When I lost my mum 6 years ago, it was one of her best friends, but she was there on the phone, at my whenever I needed her. So, you know, she's always been there providing that support, that advice.

Speaker M 0:44:59 But for women, it's so important that you have that network around you because life's hard. Life's really tough, and that network will pick you up when you're in a bad spot. They won't just be around for the good times. I'm lucky enough that I'm close to Elia, Maria, Nat, yourself.

Speaker E 0:45:19 A lot of this network is, is gonna be there. It's what you need.

Linny 0:45:26 Lovely. Oh, bless her.

Natalie Cassidy 0:45:27 Bless her heart. Thanks, Ames. Thank you. I'll drop her a text in a minute, say thank you. But she means all of that. It's true. There's certain people you meet, you connect with, you bond.

Linny 0:45:37 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:45:37 And it's important to keep that going.

Linny 0:45:39 And she's right. I mean, I, I obviously, we knew the family really well. Maria was friends with her sis. The girls were friends with her sisters. We went to Euro Disney. And I don't know, she just was like my little sidekick. And it just evolved from there. And yeah, unbeknown to me, I ended up being— well, she was baptised as an adult so that I could be her godmother. That's how much our relationship meant to her. But I think sometimes people are sent to you in life, aren't they?

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:11 Definitely.

Linny 0:46:12 to get you through these difficult times because certain people are not gonna be there for you. In her case, like her mum.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:18 Definitely.

Linny 0:46:19 No one predicted that Jan was gonna pass at such a young age. And yeah. Well, me and—

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:26 obviously me and James Alexandria met at the airport. We spoke about that before, but we've spoken since then. Have you? He sent me a message.

Linny 0:46:31 Aw.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:32 And when I look back at losing my mum and having Debbie—

Linny 0:46:34 Mm. Again.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:37 I genuinely couldn't have done that.

Linny 0:46:39 period of time without Debbie.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:41 She was my complete support network. And going through very bad times, I could phone her at 3 o'clock in the morning if I needed to, and she'd be there.

Linny 0:46:48 And in her defence, she had 4 children of her own.

Natalie Cassidy 0:46:52 Absolutely.

Linny 0:46:53 So it's not— and, and, and again, interestingly, and I'm sure James and his sisters and brother will say the same, I've never had my children say to me, or the girls in particular, say, oh, you know, you spend a lot of time talking to Amy, or seeing Amy, or committed to her. Yeah.

Linny 0:47:13 But they have never, ever, ever. In fact, she is so like the girl, well, Maria in particular, they're so alike. The way they think, their mindset. So it's been sort of quite, you know, and I feel honoured that I've been there for her. I'd hate the fact that any person, any male or female, if they needed some moral support and you could do that for them without even realising that you're doing it.

Linny 0:47:42 I've said this to Amy time and time again. I only acknowledge what I do when she highlights it 'cause she loves to write. She loves— well, you saw what she presented Maria with.

Natalie Cassidy 0:47:50 Absolutely.

Linny 0:47:51 So framed.

Natalie Cassidy 0:47:52 Beautiful words. Yeah.

Linny 0:47:54 What Maria had meant to her in her life, et cetera, et cetera. Amy's very good at that. put in pen to paper. And when she does things like that, it sort of makes you think, wow, I didn't really appreciate.

Natalie Cassidy 0:48:06 But it's nice to feel appreciated and be told what you mean to someone. Do you know what?

Linny 0:48:09 It's amazing.

Natalie Cassidy 0:48:10 'Cause again, that's a hard thing. You can take everyone for granted. Not that you do, but you never sit down and say, you're so special to me.

Linny 0:48:17 But Amy's good at doing that. Amy does.

Natalie Cassidy 0:48:19 I think I do as well. I'm quite good at that.

Linny 0:48:21 Yeah. And again, I think that's a lovely, That's a lovely characteristic to be able to know that just randomly you can message a friend and say, even if they've done nothing, just to acknowledge them and recognise them. It means so much. A little gesture can go such a long way, can't it?

Natalie Cassidy 0:48:45 I mean, my friendship with Sophie, she's in Australia now, obviously. And it sounds mad 'cause I don't speak to her as much as I did.

Linny 0:48:54 And again, she comes into your life much later on in life.

Natalie Cassidy 0:48:58 Yes. When— She hasn't been a lifelong friend.

Linny 0:49:01 No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:49:01 Eliza at school. So yeah, a good 10 years, 10, 12 years.

Linny 0:49:07 God, that's—

Natalie Cassidy 0:49:08 But I feel closer to her now.

Linny 0:49:12 That she's in Australia. That she's in Australia. Isn't it funny?

Natalie Cassidy 0:49:14 Just because I appreciate her so much more.

Linny 0:49:16 Yeah. Because she's not here.

Natalie Cassidy 0:49:18 And I miss her. Yeah. But we'll grab our half an hour and we'll talk. But when we do talk, you're talking about everything in such depth because you know you might not talk for another week because of the time difference and what have you. No, friendships are very, very special. And for me, it's interesting because I haven't got any friends from school.

Linny 0:49:36 No.

Natalie Cassidy 0:49:37 But I think my life has been very different and I've had to be very careful. I've had lots of friends along the way. that haven't, at the time, have had fun. Yeah. But they're not lifelong friends, unfortunately. How do you know? Because certain things happen and they take the piss or owe you money or they just, yeah, just let you buy everything or—

Linny 0:50:02 But do you think that would've been the case regardless of who you are?

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:06 No.

Linny 0:50:07 No. Do you think it's because you're—

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:08 No, I think it's because of finances.

Linny 0:50:10 'Cause from a young age you were— I had money to spend and I'm a very, very, generous person.

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:17 Whereas I know who my friends are, proper friends, 'cause it wouldn't matter if I didn't have a pot of pussy.

Linny 0:50:22 And do you feel guarded now when you're meeting or making new friends?

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:27 Yeah, I do feel as though, with new people, I'm still generous, but I'm not as generous as I was, you know. But then I think you can meet friends at any time, actually. I think it's very important. I think you could meet someone Very, very special. Out of the blue.

Linny 0:50:47 Don't you think it's harder to make friends as you're older, as you get older?

Natalie Cassidy 0:50:50 I think it depends the circles you mix in. I think with my line of work, people are quite open.

Linny 0:50:56 Are they friends or acquaintances? Acquaintances. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:00 But I think you can make connections. But I feel, I think if, listen, I think the biggest thing, and I'm very, very lucky, is I feel my life is filled with everybody I need. If someone else were to come along, that's nice. But if I never met another person—

Linny 0:51:16 You've got who you need around you.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:17 I've got everybody I need who's around me. I feel very lucky about that.

Linny 0:51:21 Well, I put a photo up on Instagram of us. Yeah, us 5, 6, how many are we?

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:30 You also put one on Patreon again, didn't you? Oh, wow. This is becoming your thing.

Linny 0:51:36 Yes.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:37 How do you interpret this?

Linny 0:51:38 And some of the comments. Brilliant. Your bra come up. I mean—

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:43 It was a pair of chicken fillets.

Linny 0:51:44 Oh, I forgot about that. That's brilliant. Eliza's chicken fillets, by the way, not mine. No. Well, I'll probably need them. They were very funny. Why was you wearing them? I mean, we all ended up wearing them, to be fair.

Natalie Cassidy 0:51:56 I don't remember wearing them.

Linny 0:51:58 Oh, you don't even remember that? Oh, you don't remember that photograph? No. Oh, so when you saw me put it up—

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:03 Yeah. And then I got all— then I got all of them. They're all on my phone. So I looked, and there's ones of you. Oh, yeah.

Linny 0:52:09 We all did it very split second. But I don't remember. Put them on his ears. Oh, yeah. You thought it'd be a really good idea to put them over your eyes, and we helped you along the way, obvs. Yeah, that was funny.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:18 Very funny.

Linny 0:52:19 But it's nice that we can take the piss out of each other.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:22 Absolutely. Always. How long did it take you to clean? When did the last person leave?

Linny 0:52:26 Oh, no, guys. I'm gonna have to, you know, because I am a bit— we don't do cleaning pods anymore, so I'm gonna have to talk about cleaning a bit. A little bit.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:32 So when did the last person leave?

Linny 0:52:34 Last person left, I think it was kind of you lot.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:37 About 8-ish.

Linny 0:52:37 No, no, last people left later than that. So anyway, the last person with me was Ferris.

Natalie Cassidy 0:52:42 Yeah.

Linny 0:52:43 Oh, Maria was the last to leave, around 10-ish. She wanted to help clean. She was in no state to clean anything. So, oh, but she wanted me to wash the dress she was wearing, guys, because she had to take it on holiday and she'd got some stain on her sleeve and she was freaking out about this dress and she went, And on and on and on.

Linny 0:53:02 Did you— I hope you wore the bloody dress, Maria. So anyway, we cleaned the dress. I got rid of her. And then you get to that stage. I mean, bear in mind, my first guests arrived— well, there was about 10 of us already there at half 11.

Linny 0:53:15 Yeah. By 12, the actual guests started to arrive. So now it's 10 o'clock at night. It has been a long old day. In between all of that, I've had the drama of Dave being literally— he hosted a vice president day at the golf club.

Linny 0:53:26 So he had a big do. He'd left home at 6 o'clock that morning. He literally got carried home by my neighbour Jim because he was So we sort of shoved him upstairs, got him in bed. I got him a jug of water. Bless him.

Linny 0:53:38 I said, just, just call me if you need me, but please don't call me. I've got room for— I've got a house full of women. So I'd had all that going on as well. Isn't it mad? And no one was even aware of it.

Linny 0:53:48 Everyone was oblivious to it, especially you, Natalie.

Natalie Cassidy 0:53:51 Interestingly, sorry, gotta pause it there. Yeah. I had such a lovely day. I remember everything. Yeah. And then obviously there's just a total blackout. The little bit at the end that I don't remember, but I didn't feel really drunk all day. Does that make sense? I remember everything.

Linny 0:54:03 Right. And I had a lovely day. So what don't you remember?

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:06 Well, I just find it weird that I look at a picture and I can't remember putting those things on my eyes. That's it.

Linny 0:54:10 Yeah. So that was at the end. That was later in the night. No, but you should remember that.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:13 That—

Linny 0:54:13 Do you remember trying to get up and wanting to go and see your brother upstairs?

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:16 No.

Linny 0:54:18 Oh, okay.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:20 But that was when we was all sat outside. Maria was doing her presents. Yeah. So I think it was after, Amy's gift.

Linny 0:54:25 You went.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:26 And the girls' gifts. You sort of went. I think then—

Linny 0:54:28 You relaxed. I sort of— Do you remember Mark coming in to take you home?

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:31 Yes, I do slightly remember that.

Linny 0:54:33 Mark went, I've come to pick Natalie up. I said, you will be literally picking her up. I said to Anthony, he just looked at me. And we've done it to ourselves, Mark, getting involved with the Cassidys. And he just sort of rolled. He goes, well, I haven't done it yet. No words to that effect. Poor Mark. Poor Mark. I loved your story to Bex about him coming in with the bread and wine.

Natalie Cassidy 0:54:57 Oh, Jizzle. Focaccias. Have you had any of that focaccia yet?

Linny 0:55:02 Frozen. Well, I had it the other day, but I froze it. Oh no, you left me one loaf. Yeah. You took a loaf. She bought 3. I mean, I was gonna go and buy a load of bread. She bought 3 loaves of focaccia. But guys, the sizes of them. Well, we cut one up. Yeah. And I, we didn't get through all of that either.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:21 No.

Linny 0:55:21 So I've got one in the freezer, which I will enjoy when Dave's— Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:25 I've quartered mine. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good.

Linny 0:55:29 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:29 Good. Sorry. What was we talking about? Oh yeah.

Linny 0:55:33 Cleaning. So anyway.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:34 You did the dress.

Linny 0:55:35 Washed her dress. She cleaned her dress. She's gone. Then Ferris is there. She wants to help me. Ferris, bless her. But you know when you get to that stage where you're like, it's late now. I just need to have an hour on my own.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:47 Whiz round.

Linny 0:55:48 And see if I can tackle the bulk of this. Anyway, bless her heart, she's helping me loading, unloading dishwashers, collect. Oh, she did all my— some friends bought me flowers, which was so sweet. So she's doing all my flowers. Yeah. 'Cause that's a job.

Natalie Cassidy 0:55:59 Yeah.

Linny 0:55:59 And I'm gonna work Sunday, Monday morning.

Natalie Cassidy 0:56:01 I know, I know.

Linny 0:56:02 I can't even have the morning off. I've gotta go work because my— Mark's off. Yeah. My fellow director's off. He's on holiday. So anyway, she did— anyway, eventually Ferris leaves about half past 10.

Natalie Cassidy 0:56:12 Yeah.

Linny 0:56:12 So I said to myself, right, by half 11, you're going to bed.

Linny 0:56:18 Got to half 11, I was nowhere near finished. I've obviously slowed down. It's, it's, and it wasn't disastrous, genuinely it wasn't. But I just can't go to bed and leave it. And then I was saying to myself, why don't you get up at 6 and do an hour in the morning before you go to work?

Linny 0:56:36 You'll feel refreshed, you'll do so much more. But I just couldn't do it. So I stuck my AirPods in, listening to podcasts. And off I went and I did the bulk of it. Other than wash the kitchen floor, I did the bulk of it.

Linny 0:56:51 But I went to bed about half past 12.

Natalie Cassidy 0:56:54 Wow.

Linny 0:56:55 And got up at 7 to see to your brother and go to work. And then Monday night after my walk, I cleaned the floors. But my furniture in— well, we moved a bit of furniture around, is still where it was because I can't do it, move it on my own.

Linny 0:57:10 Dave's been in bed for a week. So yeah, we've had— it's been a funny old week. But it was fine, I was fine Monday. I went to work, I felt absolutely fine. My legs— it's my legs go on me.

Linny 0:57:21 I was saying to Ines, I think it was, 'cause she loves to host, she's always hosting, bless her. She said she'd had her partner's family around Friday night after work, hosting everyone. I said, my legs go on me. Every now and then I have to sit down and just take 10 and then go again. She said, yeah, it's my knees.

Natalie Cassidy 0:57:36 Yeah.

Linny 0:57:37 I mean, and we're both very active, We're very slight women. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Your blooming age does catch up. Physically, we're the same people, but it does have a way of sort of slowing you down a bit. But it was a whole weekend of it. Friday night was a late night. We'd been to Union Chapel.

Natalie Cassidy 0:57:54 I couldn't do the weekend you had last weekend.

Linny 0:57:57 It was full.

Natalie Cassidy 0:57:58 If I had something going on on a Sunday here, I would not do anything Friday or Saturday.

Linny 0:58:03 Yeah, your brother booked this Friday night in London. No way. Tubes, hot, rich meal, going to Union Chapel. It was blooming hot in there, dancing, having a little drink, then getting the tube back on.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:15 Who did you see there?

Linny 0:58:16 David Lynx, David Grant.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:18 Oh.

Linny 0:58:19 It was all right.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:20 Oh, fair enough.

Linny 0:58:21 It was so hot in there. Beautiful chapel.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:24 It's gorgeous, the Union Chapel.

Linny 0:58:25 But he had someone on before him, and I can't remember his name. He was brilliant. He was all right. It was just so hot. It was just so hot.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:32 Couldn't enjoy it.

Linny 0:58:33 Honestly, it was obscenely hot. I need to get one of those electric fans if this weather carries on, that you carry around with you, 'cause yeah, it was a hot one. Yeah. We had a lovely meal. meal in a restaurant, which I won't mention purely because I dunno if that's where Dave's incident has stemmed from. Maybe a bit of food poisoning.

Natalie Cassidy 0:58:49 Oh dear.

Linny 0:58:50 But it was lovely, delicious, and bumped into people we know and we had such a laugh. It was so random. Oh, lovely. Talking of friends and yeah, I bumped into some, a friend of Annalisa's mum's. She recognised me. She was with someone who went to school with my brother. He recognised me. And yeah, and we ended up spending the, we literally went to the same pub, same restaurant, same gig. Yeah. Oh, that's lovely. Yeah, it was good. It was good. So yeah, it was a lit natty. It was a full-on weekend. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:13 I mean, last night I met up with a friend of mine, Elliot, which was lovely, and his girlfriend, and Mark and I, the 4 of us went out. But I said to Mark, we don't do that enough. We do not. There are certain people from EastEnders that we talk about. Just gotta, got to put these things in the diary and just show and have a bit of dinner. And that's the key.

Linny 0:59:34 Even if, If you have to cancel.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:37 Yeah, just getting something in.

Linny 0:59:39 If you put it in the diary, there is an 80% chance it's gonna happen. Yeah. So not putting it in the diary, we've got to do this, we're gonna do that, we'll pick a date. No, so true. And it doesn't happen.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:48 So true.

Linny 0:59:49 But you know, we are, we can only do what we can do. Life is very busy as we keep quoting.

Natalie Cassidy 0:59:56 It is.

Linny 0:59:56 But, and the summer months are lovely 'cause they're late, you know, it doesn't matter even if you're going out at 8 o'clock at night, it's still light. It doesn't matter, does it? Yeah, it's just nice.

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:05 And I am finding now, I did wanna mention before we go, there has been a change here, and it has just happened overnight. So do you remember when you said to me, why can't you leave Joni with Eliza? Oh, right.

Linny 1:00:18 Do you remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:20 And I said, no, it just wasn't working with them two, and whatever. I wouldn't do it all day, but something has happened where Eliza just seems that little bit more grown up. Joni listens to her, and I feel like me and Mark can just pop out and have a bit of dinner.

Linny 1:00:36 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:36 Or if I wanna go food shopping, they can be here.

Linny 1:00:39 Yeah. Not have to drag them out somewhere they don't wanna go. Game changer. Oh, so what, you've done it? You've had—

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:45 Couple of times now. Yeah. Very short bursts. Yeah.

Linny 1:00:47 But that will happen more and more.

Natalie Cassidy 1:00:48 But it's a game changer. And now I'm even thinking if they're all right, at certain times I could go to the gym, I could go and have a quick swim. It does make a difference cuz you've always got your children, you're locked to your children. Cool. So I do feel like that might give me that little bit of extra freedom without always having a babysitter, always having to pay.

Linny 1:01:07 So last night you had a babysitter? I did. I had a babysitter last night. Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:12 Yeah. But, yeah, it's just nice. It's weird how the house changes and you don't even realise it's happening.

Linny 1:01:17 And it will change again once Eliza starts driving.

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:20 I know.

Linny 1:01:21 She'll have more independence and—

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:24 Yeah.

Linny 1:01:25 Yeah. I'm not saying you lose them, but—

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:28 No, it just changes. Yeah.

Linny 1:01:30 Yeah. The dynamics within the household changes. And you soon acclimatise to it all.

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:34 Well, I feel like—

Linny 1:01:35 And that's why I feel it's so important as women. I mean, people say men aren't good at keeping— I'm like, your brother's got a massive circle of friends.

Natalie Cassidy 1:01:44 Huge.

Linny 1:01:45 I'm surprised for someone who barely speaks. But he has. I mean, he's retired and he could be out— Every day. Every day. Don't get me wrong, God knows plays a massive part in that, but he's got all his work colleagues, clients.

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:00 Yeah.

Linny 1:02:01 No, he does very well. And it's so important because then when your children do all leave home, Natalie—

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:08 You have a life. You need a social network.

Linny 1:02:10 And it's important to have also your own life. Yes, definitely. And socialise with your own friends, doing things that you like to do. Definitely. And so it's important to have friends. And another reason to keep hold of your friends and—

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:23 Definitely. The episode on Monday before this one was a wonderful woman. You wouldn't have listened to it yet. Fantastic lady, Irish lady.

Linny 1:02:33 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:33 You just need to listen to it. But there was a section of it which was all about her going away with this group of friends, and they write, and they've got their degrees, and now they do it every year, and they go to a house and they do it. And that's what spurred me on for today, talking about I just think it's so important, even if you do have that little tradition.

Linny 1:02:55 And that's what you have to start.

Natalie Cassidy 1:02:57 Start a little tradition. Yeah. 2 nights away. Yeah. Every year.

Linny 1:03:00 Sally, Sally, who I've mentioned a couple of times in this pod, well, she's in the Isle of Wight at the moment with friends. She's just come back from a holiday. They have that tradition where every year she's got a couple of sets of friends, they go away as a group of friends, whether they're hiking or whatever it is. Whatever it is, yeah. Whatever interests they have. And that's the key, is set that tradition. Build tradition. And then every year it's like, oh right, we've gotta book it for next year.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:27 Definitely. And it's a tonic.

Linny 1:03:29 It's a massive tonic.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:30 And I even feel with Rye, what I just did, that's just so lovely with Nanny to have that time.

Linny 1:03:37 Yeah.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:38 'Cause you never know how long that's gonna last. Sorry, Jack. I could get run over. I didn't just mean you.

Linny 1:03:43 Jack, she's good at doing this. Just sort of killing people. when they're not ready to go anywhere. No, but— Yeah, I know what you mean. It's just so essential. But it's not even that, you know, as we get older, we don't know what our health's gonna do. We might not be up to be going away and doing stuff like that. So it's important to do it while you can do it.

Natalie Cassidy 1:03:59 So important.

Linny 1:04:00 And it's memories for the children. That's why, look, this year alone, I've been away with all my grandchildren. Yeah, it's brilliant. Twice.

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:08 Yeah, it's so lovely.

Linny 1:04:09 Very fortunate to do it. All right, we've been fortunate we've been able to go abroad. It doesn't have to be abroad, it can be anywhere. But it's so important to do it. to have, I just hope they remember it, 'cause they're still so young. I do hope they will remember these well.

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:22 They will, 'cause you've got videos and photos. Yeah, I guess it's very different, isn't it?

Linny 1:04:26 Yeah, and it's not morbid. This is not being morbid, but you do learn from your own, you know, I have limited, listen, again—

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:33 You have nothing.

Linny 1:04:34 No, I know, bless you. I mean, I do have— Couple of old photos. Yeah, and how sad is that?

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:39 Tiny bit of video that you've got. I've got nothing.

Linny 1:04:42 No, it's sad, isn't it? That's why for me, even that, I know I'm gonna have to put that speech out, my speech For me, it means so— now I've looked back on it, I just think I would love to have had my mum to have said a few words.

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:55 Absolutely.

Linny 1:04:56 To have just had that.

Natalie Cassidy 1:04:57 And to look back on. And it's nothing difficult.

Linny 1:05:00 It's a 7-minute thing. It's nothing hard to do. But it's just what a lovely keepsake.

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:06 Really nice.

Linny 1:05:07 You can leave jewellery, you can leave whatever.

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:09 Yeah. But you can't leave those memories.

Linny 1:05:13 Yes. It's so important. It's really hot in here.

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:15 Time to go, actually. We're on an hour.

Linny 1:05:17 Are we? Yes.

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:18 Thank you, everybody, for listening. I really do hope you're plugging away, whether you're really working hard and it's— the summer holidays means nothing to you, or you're having a lovely time. Thank you, as ever, for listening. Please follow and subscribe for me. If you'd like to have some bonus material, and there really is some great bits and pieces over on Patreon, go to www.patreon.com/ www.patreon.com/lifewithnat if you wanna join that. Look for the live shows, look on my Instagram, click on the link, everything's there. And I'll see you next time, Lynn. Thank you so, so much. My pleasure.

Linny 1:05:52 Pleasure.

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:52 Have a nice rest of the weekend.

Linny 1:05:54 Yeah, well, I'm gonna enjoy my garden tomorrow, I think.

Natalie Cassidy 1:05:56 Lovely. See ya.

Linny 1:05:57 Bye, everyone.